


Behind These Walls

by DisneyPrincess



Series: A Charmed Life [1]
Category: Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Au: the curse never happened, But a little later on, Castle life, F/M, Intrigue, Princess Emma Swan, Romance, Some angst, if you guys can convince me, maybe some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:59:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 104,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisneyPrincess/pseuds/DisneyPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma has never left the walls of the castle and she is beginning to lose her mind. How long did her parent's intend to coddle and protect her? But when a mysterious new prisoner takes up residence in her dungeon, her life suddenly becomes very interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smiles

Corridor after corridor after winding corridor. She already knew where they all lead. She knew which held secret passages. She knew everything about the stupid castle and it was the most infuriating thing she'd ever dealt with. She was already 20 years old and yet her parents insisted she not leave the castle. At the rate she was going, she wouldn't leave until they'd found someone to marry her off to.

And it wasn't as though her parents weren't already trying. Dozens of suitors had passed through the castle gates. They all wore different colors but they offered her the same thing. A dull life of being stuck in the castle raising as many little ones as she could pop out. Emma wanted to have children someday, but she wanted to see the outside world first, and she definitely wanted to find true love. Her parents, though over bearing, were ridiculously in love, and Emma wanted that.

Emma had tried many times, to leave, that is. She'd used every tunnel and back door, but the guards were always waiting for her the moment she was out of the castle. If she had to be escorted inside by them one more time she was going to snap. That wasn't very lady like, but she was beyond caring. All Emma wanted was to go out and see the real world. She wanted to battle giants and travel and maybe even find true love. And sometimes her mother agreed with her, but her father was beyond rational thought when it came to that conversation.

Emma hurried towards her bedroom, heels clicking on the stone floor and dress rustling loudly. Her gown was a beautiful one, gold like the color of her hair with green gems as bright as her eyes. She loved it, but she would trade it for a pair of pants any day. Especially when she was supposed to be meeting Ruby and the dress was very much getting in her way.

Her chambers were large and everything was crème colored and lavish. It was more than Emma had ever wanted, but even she knew asking for less would be rude. On her enormous canopy bed, Ruby was already waiting for her. Ruby was the only one in the castle who she considered a friend and she was the sole reason Emma hadn't gone insane. Yet. She took a seat beside her. Ruby looked like she was bursting with gossip.

"Emma, I have news!" She whispered loudly, leaning so close her red hood touched Emma's hair.

"Well don't hold it in, you might explode," she teased. She was just glad Red told her things. No one ever told her anything.

"I've got an admirer." She said excitedly. Emma's eyes widened in shock. It wasn't as though Ruby was homely, she was beautiful. It was that she'd never shown any interest in any men around the palace before. 

"Who is the lucky gentleman?" Emma asked, standing and walking out to her balcony. Her bedroom was was in a tower and she could see far across the land from her palace. There was forest and mountains in every direction, and she knew that on the other side of the castle there was a view of the village she was rarely allowed to see. Did he hail from there?

"The huntsman," Ruby whispered, but Emma heard her loud and clear. She could also hear the excitement in her friend's voice.

"Truly? But he seems so withdrawn and cold," she uttered truthfully. But Ruby came rushing out onto the balcony and she grabbed hold of Emma's hands.

"But he isn’t! I thought so as well until he began courting me. He is so kind and gentle." She smiled softly and gazed into the distance. "I do think I'm becoming fond of him." She said dreamily. Emma pulled her into a tight hug.

"Then I wish you both the best." She breathed into Ruby’s ear. She was thrilled that her friend may have found something so special. Ruby giggled and pulled away.

"He wanted to meet me on the edge of the forest today. I have to go if I’m going to make it on time." She was flushed with excitement.

"Then go!" Emma urged her. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do." Ruby smiled slyly and turned away from her, but not before dropping her friend a bone.

"I would peek in on your parents. Something interesting is going on." She offered with a wink

She rushed out of Emma’s room with a wide grin and Emma knew hers was almost as big. She was thrilled that Ruby was happy. There was a fear that Emma felt in her gut, that she would never find the same thing, but she dismissed it. She had other things to worry about. Like spying. She slipped on flats and hurried out her door towards the meeting hall.

She knew she could get in serious trouble for it, but Emma couldn't break her habit of spying on people. Especially her parents. When they were in their meetings, they said so much that she would never hear about otherwise. And nothing fun ever happened in their peaceful kingdom since the attempted curse, so the promise of something interesting was too good to pass up.

She couldn't help her imagination from wandering. Maybe they were having guests from a faraway land. They would have wonderful stories to tell and Emma might catch a few snippets. Maybe there was a journey to go on. Or a crime had been committed. She knew these were all too exciting for her home, but she couldn't stop herself from daydreaming.

When she got to the small room behind the meeting hall, she forced herself to take softer, slower steps. For some reason there was a hole in the wall separating the rooms and if one pressed their ear to the hole, they could hear every word. Emma did just that and smiled at the sound of her parent's voices growing louder.

"I say we sentence him to death!" Shouted her father. It was better than she'd hoped. There were many sounds of agreement from her parent's advisers but only her mother could be heard over the grumbling.

"Absolutely not. He hasn't killed a soul and his only crime is looting." She argued vehemently.

"He hasn't killed anyone that we know of!" He father retaliated. There were mumbles of agreement. It wasn't sounding good for the mysterious criminal.

"So are we to kill him on charges with no basis? I won't have that stain on our kingdom." Snow was final about the decision and her tone left no room for further argument. Go mom, she thought. "We will keep him in the dungeons until a sentence is agreed upon, but it will not be death. I wi-" Emma pulled away and covered her mouth with a hand. How exciting. There was a criminal in the castle.

She rushed from the closet, shutting the door behind her. Forcefully not thinking about it, she rushed to the dungeon. It was silly of her to go down and visit a criminal that was being considered for death. She could feel the sliver of fear that ran through her. But it could be her only chance for a little excitement, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd felt fear. It was refreshing. 

Besides, the criminal would be safely behind bars. They wouldn't be able to hurt her, and she could always leave if they attempted anything. And there would never be a better time. She worried briefly that they wouldn't speak to her, but shoved the thought away and pulled open the heavy door...just as a guard turned down her corridor and spotted her. He hurried in her direction and she sighed loudly.

She knew it would be easy to rush down the stairs regardless of the man approaching. She also knew from his concerned expression that she would be getting nowhere near the bottom of those stairs at the moment. The only thing she would be getting was an escort back to her chamber. It was a quiet walk, but that just left her with time to plan her next attempt.

\-----

Snow and her husband were relaxing in the courtyard, spending what little free time they had together, when a guard approached them and cleared his throat loudly. Snow tried to hide her disappointment when she looked up at him. She and James rarely had time during the day to be idle, and usually guard meant there had been a problem that needed to be addressed by the crown.

"The princess was spotted near the dungeon earlier today. She did not enter and was escorted back to her chambers." he informed them gruffly. James nodded and waved him off.

"I'm sure it's nothing," James, told Snow as the guard departed. "She was probably just curious about all of the talk around the castle but she would never do something so foolish as go down there."

He looked so sure but Snow wasn't. James trusted Emma infinitely, but he didn't take into consideration how cut off she was from everything. She was already a woman and her husband, she didn't fault him for it, treated their daughter like a child. She hoped her instinct was wrong, but she knew how stir crazy Emma was getting, and sooner or later, the girl was going to boil over.

"I'm sure you're right," She murmured, forcing herself to relax. 

Everything was fine for the moment.

\-----

It was just like any other day once her guards had left. Emma barely touched the lunch she was brought and she dismissed her maids quickly. She usually didn't eat much, but she really couldn't hold anything down at the thought of what she would be doing later that night. She had no classes that day, so she sat on her balcony soaking in the sunlight and reading. Except she'd read all of her books before and none were as interesting as a mysterious prisoner.

The hours ticked by ever so slowly. Then dinner was dropped off and her lunch tray was taken away. It was salad, and Emma couldn't even imagine why they thought she would want one. Her mother had been trying to get her to ear healthier, but Emma was in no mood for it. She ignored the food and considered calling on Ruby to pass time, but she disregarded that idea quickly. Her friend was probably out with the huntsman enjoying his company.

When the moon finally made an appearance, she couldn't hold back a grin.

She changed into her darkest dress in preparation for her night. It was a midnight blue that had been a gift from a suitor and she carefully chose slippers without heels. She slipped out once she was sure the whole castle was asleep. She was grateful she'd gotten her father to remove the guards that used to constantly stand at her door. That would have made things much more difficult.

It was a very long walk filled with many seemingly close calls that were most often mice, leaving Emma on edge when she finally did make it to the large door that lead down into the dungeon. The castle echoed at night and she paused to make sure there was no one nearby to see her enter. It released a deafeningly loud creak when she pulled it open, or maybe it just seemed that way, and she stepped into the dark stairway closing the door behind her.

The spiraling staircase lead down and without the torch by the door, it would have been pitch black. Her dress was not designed to be warm and she had not brought a cloak, so she was shivering slightly when she reached the second door that lead directly to the cell. As she nudged it open, she felt a twinge of sympathy for whoever had to stay the night there.

There was one very large cell that was mostly shrouded by shadows but Emma was reluctant to get closer. She placed the torch on its stand on the wall, illuminating a corner of the cell and the outline of a metal bench. Maybe a pillow. But not enough for her to be able to make out the figure hunched over on the bench.

"Hello?" she called softly.

"Ah, I see you couldn't sleep either, love?" A deep accented voice called out in response. She took a few steps nearer when she heard the chains clink and peered into the cell. She couldn't believe the sight that greeted her.


	2. Paper Walls

The man, the prisoner, she reminded herself, was handsome. He had dark, short, hair, a square jaw, and a slight beard. His blue eyes shone almost as bright as the torch on the wall. She froze in place as she took in his dark clothes, coat, and boots. Her eyes lingered on his left hand. Or where his hand should have been. The man had a large, shiny hook in place of one of it. Emma was frozen, unsure whether to step closer or further.

He smirked when he noticed her staring.

"You lookin' to entertain an old dog like me?" He asked suggestively, raising an eyebrow. Emma took a step back in surprise. No one had ever spoken to her in such a way. It was insulting. He couldn't possibly be suggesting that she'd come for that. "You're much lovelier than any whore I've ever seen." Apparently he could be.

The man leaned his elbows on his knees and smiled charmingly. If he wasn't in a dungeon, chained up, Emma might have thought he was attractive. She noticed the shackles on his wrists and reminded herself that she was only there to learn. She didn't need to get distracted by that smile. Even if she did spend little to no time around attractive men, or any men for that matter. She could hardly consider Baelfire a man.

"I beg your pardon? You would do well to watch your tongue," Emma turned away, but she was still strangely intrigued. Enough to not want to leave yet. "Who are you?" She asked, not turning around.

"Well I could ask the same, dear. I was only joking, you are far to regal for what I suggested." She did not turn to address him. She was too shocked by the way he was speaking to her. It was as if she wasn't a princess. It was delightful. 

"You should not be suggesting anything to begin with." Emma countered. The stone wall was surely just as interesting as the stranger behind her. She took great care to display that in her posture.

"Alright then. I'm Captain Hook. I'm sure you've heard of me." His tone was proud. Like she should have heard of him, and that was annoying to say the least.

"No. Actually I haven't," Emma turned in time to catch the look of surprise on his face. "Should I have?"

"Well yes, you bloody well should have," The captain nearly growled. Before Emma could think to take a step back, she remembered that he was very thoroughly chained to that bench. His expression changed from insulted to a rather dejected one, like all the fight had left him in an instant. "Tell me love, why haven't you heard my name before?"

"Well it would seem," Emma mumbled as she drew nearer to him against her better judgement. "My parents don't approve of my learning about the outside would and what it holds. I've lived a drastically sheltered life, and that's why I snuck down here. I was hoping you would be willing to tell me things about the world. Or stories. I'm sure a man such as your self has many good ones." She hoped he couldn't see how much it bothered her to ask for a favor.

"Ah, I have many stories to tell. But what would you award me in return?" He didn't look quite so devious, more curious, so she merely shrugged her shoulder at him, hoping he would make an offer. It wasn't as though she hadn't expected that. What criminal wouldn't take advantage of a young girl?

"Lovely. I already know what I want anyways. Here's what we'll do, love. I'll tell you about every adventure I've ever been on, if you come visit me every night. It doesn't take much to guess that you're the coveted princess, and I do believe I enjoy your company a bit. Deal?" The captain stretched out his hand to shake but remembered his chains and pulled it back, only shooting her a convincing grin. It made Emma's stomach turn. She tried to fight back the doubt she felt. He already knew who she was. 

"Deal. But you must not tell anyone that I'm visiting you," Emma demanded. The Captain nodded his head in agreement and his grin widened. Emma tried to ignore the butterflies it gave her in the pit of her stomach. She just hadn't been around enough men was all. "And how did you know who I am?" She added.

"I'm terribly sorry to say it, but you aren't as clever as you think. There are notoriously few young women in this castle. Fewer are lovely, and fewer still would own a dress like the one you wear tonight." He did look a little apologetic about knowing. But not much, to Emma's dismay. She needed more modest dresses, it seemed. But that was not the issue. She needed to get back before she was missed so she could return. She very much wanted to return. 

"I really must be getting back to my chambers now Captain. I have lessons in the morning and my parents can be quite sour when I miss them. It was a pleasure meeting you." Emma curtsied swiftly before she realized how silly it was for a princess to do that for a prisoner.

"I look forward to our next encounter." Hook said, nodding his head slightly. He clearly didn't have the leeway to stand and bow so she accepted it.

Without another word, Emma grabbed the torch and hurried back down the stair case. The halls were thankfully empty and she made it to her chambers without incident. Unfortunately, that left her with more time to think about questions she wasn't prepared to answer. Like whether or not she would tell Red about Captain Hook. She was Emma's best and only friend, but something in her gut told her it would be wiser to keep the event to herself for the time being.

There was also a tiny part of her that felt excited to finally have a secret. Hook was hers alone and it made her stomach flip again. When she'd climbed into her bed, Emma finally felt the weight of the day fall on her and her eyelids drooped closed. She resolved to decide all the details the following day. Either way, Red was busy with her beau and Emma had no one else to confide in. Snuggling under her thick covers, she only thought of one thing.

How much she wished it could be tomorrow so she could see her prisoner again.

\-----

Mornings in the castle were always filled with the bustle of rushing servants. Every morning was exactly the same. Emma would wake to sun on her face and porridge on her bedside table. Before eating, her servant would help her into her corset that was always too tight and made her ribs hurt. By the time she was able to breathe, her breakfast would be cold. Though she doubted the porridge was any good when it was warm either.

Then she hurried off to her lessons, because she was almost always late. First there was music, then maths, then reading. It took up all of her morning and as grateful as she was to learn the skills, what she really wanted was to learn outdoor skills. She wanted to learn to ride a horse like a man and shoot an arrow with deadly accuracy. Her mother could do it and more. Why wasn't she allowed? How else would she be able to survive on her own if she didn't learn? Oh right, they never intended to let her get out and be on her own. How could she be so silly. 

She was all riled up by the time classes were over so she decided to look for her parents and see if today her begging would finally get through to them. The halls were unnaturally quiet as she headed for the conference room. Usually the castle was a lively place. Where was everyone? Emma walked a little faster and told herself not to worry. Just because she'd never seen the castle this quiet during the day, didn't mean something was wrong.

Emma was not good at handling her worries and when she got to the conference room, she burst through the doors loudly. It was empty. Well, except for her parents. There was no council though. "What's going on?" she puzzled as she walked towards her parents. Her mother was sitting calmly in one of the chairs and her father was pacing across the room. They both looked up in surprise as she stormed in, but neither stopped what they were doing.

"Emma, come in," Snow mumbled before turning her attention back to her husband. "She's here. Now tell her." She demanded.

"But Snow, she's too y-" Her father began to protest but Snow waved off his argument.

"Tell her." Emma's father sighed and took a seat beside his wife and motioned for his daughter to do the same. Emma sat beside him nervously.

"What's going on?"

"Emma," Charming began slowly, "It would seem that we've recently acquired a prisoner. I'm sure you've heard," he looked to her for confirmation, but Emma kept her face blank. Her father sighed and continued when Snow grabbed his hand. "He's dangerous and we didn't want him anywhere near you but transporting him would take too many men. This man, he steals and kills an-"

"Charming! Don't lie to her!" Snow shot up in her seat. "There is no proof the man killed anyone. He is merely a thief." Emma was oddly relieved by that addition to the conversation. She didn't want to think that she'd spent the night with a killer.

"Fine, fine, but he is a dangerous thief. He needs to be tried." Snow looked displeased but nodded her head in agreement.

"The point is, we need you to stay away from the tower that houses the dungeon. Okay?" Snow clarified. She took Emma's hand and waited patiently for a response.

"Of coarse mother, why in the world would I go there?" She laughed lightly and Emma wondered when she'd gotten so good at lying to her parents. Probably when she started telling them she liked the dresses they bought her. She backed out of the room after giving them both hugs and and hurried to her chambers. It wasn't as though she had anything better to do.

\-----

Emma was fairly certain that her father would have her locked in her room for the rest of her life if he ever found out what she did in her free time. In the night, every night before she met Hook, she would sneak down her trellis beside her balcony and return to the woods that loomed just a few feet away. Emma would find her clearing, which was fairly easy, and she would wait for her only other friend.

Baelfire and her had been doing this for years. He was a boy her age who lived just a bit farther in the woods, in a palace only slightly smaller than hers. The man who used to be the dark one lived there with his wife, and since he no longer caused too much trouble, Emma's parents didn't bother him. He had, after all, earned their allegiance after helping her parents stop Regina from enacting that curse. Emma didn't remember any of that though, she'd only been an infant when all of that had occurred.

But she thought about it so much.

She wondered what that other world would have been like. She knew there would be no magic and she didn't know how she felt about that, but it didn't bother her enough to stem her curiosity. In that world would she have had a choice? Would she have been caged in a castle to live out her days miserable? She didn't think so. Even without magic, the other world could have been wonderful, and Emma would have been able to explore it.

Baelfire liked speculating too, so when they'd first met, when Emma had first learned she could climb down the trellis, they'd gotten along splendidly. Unfortunately, they had both been 15 and it hadn't taken Baelfire long to develop a small crush. Emma thought it would be okay that she didn't reciprocate but he was so persistent. There meetings had ended a couple of weeks ago when Emma had decided she couldn't stand it any longer.

Due to their issues, and how busy Ruby always was, Emma was so lonely she couldn't even wait until midnight to sneak down to the dungeon. Emma couldn't blame Ruby for spending so much time with the huntsman. She wanted her friend to be happy. There was always Belle, but she only talked about books and her husband. It could be interesting, but more often then not it was mind numbingly boring. And Emma was glad Rumplestiltskin was good, but she didn't want to listen to Belle gush about him.

At a quarter past eleven, Emma was nearly skipping down the hall. She'd worn her most modest dress and a grey hood just in case she ran into anyone. She also brought a thick cloak. She knew if anyone caught her, her clothes wouldn't fool them, but she did it just in case. Emma was desperate to spend time with the pirate. He was the only one who spoke to her as if she was not a princess, besides Ruby, and he most likely had endless adventures to talk about. Not to mention those eyes. But she banished the thought.

Liking pirates was not allowed.

But even with the rule firmly placed in her head, she couldn't help but admit to herself that she did like him. Not in a true love sort of way, but in a hopeful that her new friend doesn't get hanged sort of way. Then she wondered when she had started considering him a friend. They'd only spoken once. But still, she hoped her father felt a sudden pang of mercy when deciding his fate.

Emma peeked around a corner, spotting the door that lead to the dungeon. There were once again no guards and she wondered what her parents were doing. Didn't they know he was a dangerous criminal? She held back a giggle as she dashed down the hall in through the door. She shut it behind her quietly then leaned on it, listening. There didn't seem to be anyone following her. Good.

Emma's cloak wasn't nice to look at, but it was much warmer in the dank place than it had been last time. Someone had left all of the torches on the walls lit so she didn't need to grab one. They lead straight down the spiral stairs to the cell where the pirate sat. He wasn't chained anymore though. He paced through the cell from wall to wall as though the space was too small for him. He needed to stretch his long leather clad legs. The soles of his shoes were loud on the stone floor and she wondered who had released his shackles and why he was pacing.

"Good evening, Captain," Emma revealed herself. She hoped he didn't think she looked awful before she realized she shouldn't care.

"My lady," Hook bowed and relaxed easily onto his bench. Emma made to sit on the floor, but Hook jumped to his feet and rushed toward the bars before she could. "Wait!" He pulled off his coat and slipped through the bars. Offering it up. "Sit on this. I would hate for your lovely dress to get ruined." Emma examined the coat suspiciously from a distance, then took in his easy grin. She wouldn't do well to trust a criminal. 

"I believe my dress will survive," she countered. She had already called him a friend in her head, so that bridge was probably burned.

"Please, let me pretend I'm a gentleman." He widened his eye and offered the coat again. She couldn't fight her grin. How could she resist?

"Alright. If you insist." Emma hesitantly approached the cell and took the edge of the coat farthest from his hand. She didn't think he would grab her but she'd only ever met him once before. She couldn't be too careful. "Thank you," she murmured as she settled down onto the black coat. It looked very much like some thing a pirate wore. "That seemed very much unlike you." Emma teased.

"Yes I do believe I deserve a kiss for my chivalry," Hook responded, as he stretched out on the bench with grin, resting his hands behind his head. The action pulled his thin shirt tight over his chest and Emma wondered if he'd done it on purpose. His vest was discarded on the end of the bench. It had to purposeful. He had to know how little contact she had with men her age. Especially ones like him.

"That sounds much more like you," She said softly with a grin. Hook laughed tossing his head back and she couldn't help but stare.

She'd seen Baelfire with out a shirt on a few times when he was showing off before, but he didn't look anything like that and Hook still had his on. She could see the muscles in his biceps and chest clearly and she knew he must have gotten them from life on a ship. It was hard to keep her mind from wandering down a dark path, and she didn't even realize what she'd said until the words left her lips.

"You might be able to earn one," Emma almost bit her tongue after saying it. She could not give a pirate her first kiss. Her repressed hormones were getting the best of her and she wanted to hit herself. But Hook seemed intrigued by the idea. His eyes widened slightly and he leaned forward.

"You shouldn't tease a man," he said smile disappearing, but she could see excitement in his eyes. It thrilled her and made more unplanned words spill from her lips. God, he was right. She really wasn't very clever.

"Then you don't want to know how?" Emma plastered on a grin but she was cursing her name in her head. What the hell was she doing? Her father would kill them both if he ever found out. But a small, dangerous part of her brain whispered the most exciting thing she'd ever heard. He doesn't have to know.

"Never said that, love. Go on then," he prompted her. Hook seemed suddenly interested in his hook as he waited for her to respond. Emma was already in, it was too late to back out. She leaned forward on her knees and whispered across the space. 

"Tell me your story," She hadn't even known that she'd been curious about it until the words had left her mouth. But she was. 

"I've already promised you all of my stories," Hook stated, a confused look on his face. He leaned forward trying to understand.

"You promised your adventures, but the story of your life has not yet been bargained for," Emma reasoned. She knew that they both knew it was a technicality, but it was too late to take it all back. Hook got a smug look on his face that almost made Emma blush. He knew she was grasping at straws but she didn't care. He wouldn't refuse.

Emma watched him closely as Hook adopted a pensive face and leaned back against the wall like he had all the time in the world. She almost had to laugh when he began biting his nail, then tapping his chin. It was a bit over dramatic. They both knew that he would not turn down a kiss from a princess. Especially when it could be his last ever before being hung. Apparently he was as impatient as her, because he quickly dropped the routine and began speaking. She pushed away any thoughts about how delicious his accent was and leaned forward. 

"Once upon a time, many years ago in a far away land..."


	3. Stranger Inside

Emma pressed both her hands over her mouth to keep from letting her laughter escape. She didn't want to offend him or keep him from continuing with his story, but where in the world had he learned to tell them. It sounded like he was telling her a bedtime story. A little squeek escaped from her lips and Hook looked up at her with a grimace. He apparently did not see the humor in his methods.

"Are you even listening?" He snapped. She nodded folding her hands in her lap. Emma totally had self control. But he seemed just a tad bit too agitated. Maybe he just really wanted that kiss.

"Good," he grumbled and looked back down at his hand. He had lost his place. Not that he'd even started.

"Once upon a time, many years ago in a land far away, there lived a little boy. Now this lad, he loved the sea air like it was part of his soul. His pop was a pirate, so he grew up on the water. The waves rocked him to sleep and the creaking wooden planks woke him with the rising sun. This life was all he knew, so he never thought there was anything else. He never knew that most lads had the land beneath their feet and mothers.

You see, his mother had died during child birth. His father's crew had always told the boy that it was why his pop was so cold with him. The boy looked just like his father's dead wife. So he never thought it strange when his father disappeared for weeks at a time, leaving the boy with his crew as his keeper. He didn't think it was strange when his father disappeared for good either, since not one man on that ship would say a bad word about the boy's father.

Even though he missed his pop, he did what he'd always done and carried on. The lad, now a young man, got together his crew and set sail on his pop's ship, claiming it as his own. He traveled the worlds, doing as he pleased wherever he pleased. The sea was all he needed to be happy. The taste, the smell, it filled him up and nothing else could hold him the way the ocean did.

Until he met Milah. This woman, she captivated him and he was under her spell before he knew it. She boarded his ship and ran away with him, on her insistence, and he loved her more when she proved to be a marvelous pirate as well. She had told him of her husband and son who she'd left behind, and they had planned to go back and steal away her son. But her husband found them first. The woman had neglected to tell the young man that her husband was the Dark One.

The Dark One, in a fit of anger, killed his wife and cut off the hand of the young pirate. He spent a few long years mourning the death of his lover and going on adventures that surely would have taken his life had he not been the luckiest bastard that ever lived. His only love was once again the sea. Until he heard of a princess with hair like the sun and eyes like the sea. How could the man resist seeing her. He had nothing better to do, after all.

He sailed for weeks until he found her land. But upon reaching the kingdom, the man was arrested for a petty crime and thrown into a dungeon under the threat of being hung. Who would believe the young pirate had never killed a soul, despite the king's insistence? He surely would have perished had the princess not come to visit him in the night. Then they ran away together and they lived happily ever after." Hook stood and bowed, sending a wink Emma's way.

"How was that. I took a few creative liberties in the end a bit, but I liked it." Smiling, he sat back down and waited for his review. Emma had to admit, she was a little amused with it all. Though she certainly wasn't going to be letting him free and running away with him. He was a criminal.

"I won't be setting you free," She informed him with a stern look. 

"I don't know love, I am a devilishly handsome pirate in a castle where there are very few men with my...qualities," He said smoothly. His raised eyebrow made Emma think he wasn't just talking about his personality, and she couldn't help but smile. He was so incredibly cocky. 

"Do you mean your abrasive personality?" She teased. "Because you're right. Guards and noblemen are much more polite," she explained with the most innocent smile she could muster up.

"You wound me," he cried, clutching his chest and falling back on the bench, feigning death. But he turned his head towards Emma and opened his eyes so he could stare her down. "But tell me princess, are any of those men as honest with you as I am? Are they as real? Are they even as interesting as we both know I am?" He questioned her, his gaze fixed on her.

Emma's throat was suddenly very dry, and though she couldn't say it out loud, they both knew the answer. All of the men in the castle who spoke to her were polite, and dull and only wished to talk about trivial things like the weather. He was without a doubt the most interesting thing to enter the walls. And the most attractive. Emma looked away first and cleared her throat. She needed to change the subject and she knew just what would distance herself from him. 

"What is the crime they are convicting you of?" She blurted out. Emma glanced back at the captain and hoped he told her the truth now that the questions were harder. She had a knack for being able to tell the difference.

"Are you certain you want to hear about such ugly business?" But Emma's glare had him holding his hands up in surrender.

"Alright lass, calm down. I just borrowed some gold from a few merchants. Really, they were so well off that they wouldn't have even noticed if a kid hadn't seen me and ratted me out." He muttered a few angry words under his breath but Hook looked back up at her expectantly. "And why did the young princess come visit the prisoner? I've met Charming, he doesn't quite live up to his name, so I doubt he knows about all of this," he countered

Emma grimaced. He was smarter than he looked. But she was glad that he wasn't a killer. If she ever got the chance, Emma wanted to speak to her father about his sentence. Stealing a few coins hardly warranted death. She settled back onto his coat and got comfortable. And If he was just a petty thief then there was nothing for her to worry about. Besides the kiss he seemed to have forgotten about. She was glad because the pirate still had many stories to tell her. 

"We seem to have this in common. They wont let me leave the castle either," she said with a grimace. "And I knew a criminal such as yourself would have a treasure trove of stories."

"Ahh, I'm a lucky man." Hook said with a smile. Emma's smile grew. 

"I know," Emma agreed. She was only teasing. Though that hadn't gone well for her the last time she tried it. 

"Speaking of how lucky I am, I do believe you owe me a kiss," Hook said casually, approaching the bars of his cell. Emma was glad she was sitting a good distance from the bars, because she was tempted to get up and give him what he wanted. Especially when he was looking down at her with those eyes. She could see how much he wanted the kiss, even as he tried to hide it.

"That I do, and my debt will be payed to you the moment you are released." she tried. It would probably be better if her first kiss wasn't between the bars of a jail cell. Hook took it better than she expected.

"But how am I to survive without your life sustaining kiss?" He asked falling into a crouch and leaning his forehead against the bars. So close, she could see the eyeliner he wore, making his eyes look enormous. 

"I think you are clever enough to figure it out," she assured him. Hook groaned and stood, dropping back onto his bench.

"Aye I can wait, but if I do die, you will know why, love," he muttered. Emma giggled. He had to be the most dramatic pirate alive. 

"Well, why don't we get on with it. Which daring adventure should I tell you about next?" It was a rhetorical question of coarse but Emma couldn't keep her mind from wandering. She twirled the end of her long, blond braid and asked about what had been most interesting to her of recent.

"Have you ever crossed paths with a giant?" She knew her eyes were probably brimming with excitement, but Emma could hardly bring herself to care. Hook's held a similar emotion at the mention of giants. And by the size of the grin that spread across his face, she knew she'd asked the right question.

The captain stood and relocated so he was sitting cross legged in front of the bars. As close to Emma as he could get. She didn't mind, that only meant the story was a very good one. Emma moved in a little closer too but she convinced herself that it was because Hook was whispering.

"It all started with this bloody bean..."

\-----

The morning bells were ringing when Emma finally broke eye contact with Hook. She'd been up all night listening to his stories and she hated the thought of going back to her chamber and going about her day as if everything was the same. It would never be the same. She knew things that she hadn't known before and she couldn't imagine just going back to her old life.

Hook told her stories about the ogre war and giants and fairies, and she knew he still wasn't even half done with all of the stories he had to tell. While most were entertaining, Hook got what he deserved for being a thief and pirate, Emma still got nervous when the stories took awful turns. She would hold her breath if he got too close to death, even if he was sitting right in front of her. 

There were also some that made her ashamed to be royalty. He spoke some of Regina, though it was mostly secondhand stories. While he was far older than she believed, he'd been in another realm for the whole of her reign. She'd razed entire villages and killed mercilessly for years. It had only stopped when her parents had locked her away in a far away prison. They had never told her anything about it, and she shoved down the hurt. 

Emma promised herself when she took the throne she would be nothing like the evil queen. She would try her hardest to be like her mother. The one who didn't want to execute Hook on false charges. Though she couldn't pinpoint when in the night she'd started to grow fond of the rakish pirate. Maybe when she saw his eyes light up mid story. Or when he would get excited and use his hands. But when the morning bells began to ring, she did know she wished she could stay longer. Handing him back his coat took a physical effort.

"I must be going now. My chamber maids will be searching for me soon." She sighed as she brushed off her cloak. She didn't want to look at him or she might be tempted to stay longer. She folded her hands in front of her and glanced at him anyways.

"Will you be coming back tomorrow night?" Hook asked with hopeful eyes. Emma smiled and spun towards the door.

"Of coarse," Emma cheerily replied as she pushed open the heavy, wooden door. She was about to leave without another word, when she thought back to that first story. The way her heart tightened in sympathy for the little boy. She'd almost forgotten. "I'm sorry about your parents," she murmured. Then Emma fled before he could say something crude to relieve the seriousness.

Hook was left to stare at the door in surprise.

\-----

"That doesn't answer the question!" Charming shouted at the wall. Well he was speaking to Emma but she thought he didn't want to scream at her so he faced the other way and hoped he didn't come off as hard.

"James!" Snow scolded from across the room. She was looking out a window trying to figure everything out.

Emma sat in a chair in the center of the room looking between her parents and wishing she was anywhere else. When she had stumbled into her room in time with the rising sun, her chamber maids were already there and searching for her under her bed. They wanted to know where she'd been, what she'd been doing, and who she'd spoken to that could confirm her story.

Amidst all of their clucking and fussing, she'd still gotten put into a corset and forced to go to classes. Obviously, she couldn't pay attention through any of them. How could she when she knew the moment she got out her parents would interrogate her about her whereabouts? She needed a great cover story or she would never leave the castle. But the best she could think of was an early morning walk and no one could cover for her.

Her reading tutor let her leave early due to her lack of concentration and she was summoned by her parents the moment she set foot outside. A guard had been waiting outside in the hall and insisted on escorting her to the throne room. She couldn't believe she was back to having guards tail her 24/7. She hadn't had to deal with guards since she'd been a toddler. He must have felt her frustration, because the man walked several steps behind Emma. Wise man.

"Emma, just be honest with us. Where were you?" Snow asked for the hundredth time, pulling Emma from her thoughts.

"I just took a morning stroll," she replied mechanically. She'd said it just as many times but she knew her parents were no closer to believing her.

"Honey," her mother strode over to where she sat and knelt beside her. Emma tried not to let the gesture soften her resolve. They could not know about Hook. "You won't be in any trou-"

The doors to the meeting room flew open and all three of their heads snapped towards it. The Huntsman stood in the doorway looking unperturbed by the glares of the king and queen. He entered the room like he belonged there and knelt beside Emma. Before the doors slammed shut in themselves, she could have sworn she saw a flash of red. Emma was distracted by the Huntsman speaking though, and the thought flitted away.

"I can corroborate the princess's story. I spied her walking along the corridors aimlessly this morning when I returned from the woods." He didn't look up from the floor and Emma was thrown off. How did he know about her story? He couldn't have seen her. That morning she'd been jogging to her room to beat the chamber maids. Far from aimless wandering. But regardless, she wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"See, it's true," she verified, keeping her face carefully blank.

Emma's father came forward and tapped the Huntsman on the shoulder, indicating he could stand. Emma tried to shoot him a grateful smile but he wouldn't look her way. He simply nodded and took his leave. She would have to have Red thank him later, if her parents decided to lock her up and she couldn't do it herself, that is. Neither of her parents spoke until the doors were firmly shut. Charming was first.

"How did he know she was here for that?" He asked the air beside him rather loudly. Snow placed a hand on his shoulder after standing.

"The entire castle is aware. You cannot stop gossip." She said.

"You swear it's true?" Her father questioned again. Emma had to swallow the anxiety she felt. She could lie, but swearing to her father was an entirely different matter.

"Of coarse." Emma sounded more sure than she was. It worked though. Both of her parents visibly relaxed. Snow pulled her from her seat and hugged Emma tightly. She was then handed off to her father who wrapped his arms around her more softly. He'd always been more careful with her. It was as if she was a piece glass that would shatter at the drop of a hat.

"I'm sorry, sweet heart. I love you," he whispered before releasing her. Emma felt the awful guilt build in her gut and she considered spilling her guts right there. But she couldn't do it. Her lips wouldn't open. Emma's parents loved her. She could see it in their eyes as they stared at her. But they smothered her and Hook was her only way to glimpse the outside world.

A few years back Emma had thought to ask the guards about their lives outside the castle, but they were all suspiciously tight lipped. She pestered them relentlessly until one broke and told her that her parents had ordered them to tell Emma nothing of the outside world. She couldn't figure out why. What harm could knowledge do her? It would have only been little things about their families and such.

Baelfire would have been enough for her but he knew as little as she did. His father was just as protective as hers, if not more. All he knew of was the farm he helped manage in his small village. So really, she had no choice but to utilize Hook while he was still around. Besides, it was no longer just about her. If she told, he would be in massive amounts of trouble too. She couldn't do that to him, criminal or not.

With a sigh, Emma nodded to her parents and headed for her quarters, grateful for the fact that they hadn't saddled her with another guard. She was exhausted from the stress of the morning and staying up all night. She'd never felt so worn out. Mostly because she'd never had anything interesting enough to keep her up all night. She smiled tiredly to herself. It was completely worth it. 

"Emma!" Ruby screamed her name and threw her arms around the princess when Emma rounded the corner leading to her room. She had been waiting outside Emma's door.

"Ruby!" She gasped, struggling to breathe.

"I talked to Graham. Did it work?" Ruby seemed to question Emma while maintaining a choke hold on her torso, so all Emma could do was nod.

"Oh, thank god!" she exclaimed as she released Emma. "I'd heard that they caught you sneaking in at sunrise. Were you out gallivanting with Baelfire? I thought you weren't meeting him anymore? How could you not tell you best friend about it? I know I've been busy but that's no excuse." She rambled as they entered Emma's bedroom.

"I wasn't with him. And who is Graham?" She asked half interested as she began removing her dress. "Could you help untie this?"

Ruby sighed in frustration but obliged. "Graham is the Huntsman. He does have a name after all." Ruby scolded her as her nimble fingers made quick work of the corset and Emma could breathe normally again in no time.

"So then where were you off to?" Ruby asked after Emma didn't offer it up. Emma wasn't sure she wanted to tell her. She told her best friend everything, but this was different. She felt if she told, Hook would cease to exist. Then it would be back to going stir crazy in her stupid castle.

She pulled on a night gown and sat on the edge of her bed, patting the spot beside her. Emma had to tell Ruby, there was no way she could keep it to herself. Her friend could tell it was a good piece of gossip by Emma's face and she jumped on the bed excitedly. Emma rarely had the gossip and it was kind of nice.

"Do you swear to take it you your grave?" Emma asked stonily. Ruby instantly adopted the expression and nodded.

"You know I would Em," She reassured Emma and grabbed on of her hands. She looked about to burst beneath the serious face.

"I was in the dungeon talking to the prisoner," she whispered. Ruby's face went from shock, to worry, then back to shock.

"Are you insane? I heard he was a thief and a murderer. Worse he's a pirate! He could be using you to escape or gain secrets about the king and queen!" Ruby whispered furiously. It wasn't as though Emma hadn't considered those things, she just knew they weren't an issue because she rarely spoke.

"Oh relax, he's no murderer, my mother told me as much. And I don't tell him a thing. He tells me stories. That's all. I only want to know about the outside world and he is an exceptional story teller." Emma defended, although she hated that she had to defend herself. It was all quite innocent. Except for the kiss. But Ruby didn't have to know about that just yet.

"I could tell you stories!" Ruby shouted, standing up. She turned her back to Emma and crossed her arms. Emma didn't understand why she was so angry. It was a harmless activity.

"But my parents censor what you tell me and his are adventures! What's so wrong with that?" Emma asked, getting as frustrated as Ruby.

"He's a criminal!" Ruby waited for Emma's response but she didn't have one. Hook was a criminal, she couldn't deny that, but she also couldn't tell Ruby she wasn't going back. She was, that night. Her friend knew it and after throwing her hands in the air, she stormed out. Probably off to find Graham. Emma briefly worried that she would tell Graham or Emma's parents, but Ruby was loyal, even when she was angry.

Emma was just sad. She had really wanted to talk to Ruby about it all without being judged. She wanted to tell her all of Hook's stories and adventures. She wanted to confess that his eyes were captivating and the rest of him wasn't far behind. Then they would blush and giggle. But Ruby had stormed out and Emma felt foolish for expecting her friend to take it so well. With a sigh, she climbed into bed and curled up in a tight ball. At least she still had Hook and his stories. 

Eventually she slipped into a peaceful sleep, and she dreamed about the sea she'd only ever seen in paintings and her imagination.

\-----

Emma woke by herself when the moon was high in the sky. Staying up all night had really messed up her sleep cycle. She could sense it was late in the night and she immediately felt guilty at the thought of Hook alone in the dungeon. She didn't stop to wonder why she was worrying about him. He was a lowly pirate and thief. But even as she told herself he meant nothing, she pulled on a thick robe and slippers. She could just stop by for a moment. She had promised to come by.

The corridors were silent and after scoping the area, she found that the door to the dungeon was still unguarded. It was suspicious that there was still no guard after the fit her parents had thrown. But after waiting a few minutes, she was sure it was clear. Emma rushed through the door and up the steps, trying and failing to be silent. She was grateful for the torches.

Hook was right where he had been the last two nights and she let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Some part of Emma had been scared that after telling Red, something had happened to Hook. Emma trusted Red, but she wasn't sure about Graham. And there were flaws in the walls of some rooms. Even though they were whispering, someone could have heard and told her parents. To say she was scared to lose a good thing would have been an understatement.

"Darling, I love the gown but unless you're coming in here with me, you would do well to cover up," Hook teased with a suggestive grin. Emma glared at him and tied her robe shut. She hoped it was too dark for him to see her blush. She knew it wasn't. She clearly should have taken the time to put on proper attire.

"You can be rather improper at times," she commented.

"I'm a pirate. I won't pretend to be something I'm not," he replied with a less worrisome grin. But as he spoke, Hook took off his coat and offered it to Emma. He didn't have to say a word. Emma smiled genuinely and reached out a hand to accept the coat as if it was already a routine with them. Emma very much liked the idea of that and she didn't banish the thought immediately like she did with most thoughts regarding her pirate. 

As her fingers brushed the fabric, the door to the dungeon burst open.


	4. Impossible

Before he married Snow White, the king was informally known as Prince Charming. And he lived up to his name. Everywhere he went, ladies fawned over him and threw themselves at his feet. It was an easy life, free of responsibility, so Charming never had to worry about anything more than which horse to ride.

But then he married Snow and had Emma. Everything changed for him, even his silly nick name, though that was the least of his worries. He worried about Emma and Snow getting hurt, he worried about not being able to protect them, and most of all, he worried that Emma would one day leave him. His only child, his only daughter, would leave and never come back again. He just couldn't bear the thought of it.

So he smothered her, and yes he and Snow had real reasons for protecting her so, but secretly he was glad that it also served his selfish wish that Emma never leave. To keep her safe, she had to stay near the castle, but he personally saw to it that she never left the structure. The king wasn't proud of it, but he was the sole reason she saw few suitors. He hand picked the ones he knew Emma would hate so she wouldn't choose one.

It was sad, that he was so over protective, but when he saw Emma so close to that criminal, a pirate, he thought maybe he hadn't been protective enough. She was just standing right up against the bars of the cell about to accept the thieves coat. And she was in her bedclothes. She had on her cloak but that meant nothing in the James' mind. She was nearly naked in a dungeon with a criminal exchanging what he assumed had been kind words.

He was too angry to move.

Or maybe not. He couldn't stay in the doorway while Emma stood her ground. She didn't move away from the cell and the prisoner didn't move either. He shifted slightly so that he was more visible and that was what set the king off. The gesture came off as protective and he refused to even consider that the thief felt anything for his daughter that would cause him to shield her. 

James stormed into the dungeon and pulled Emma behind him despite her protest. He didn't stop to consider why she was protesting. He needed to protect his only daughter, even if she didn't yet understand. Killian Jones' coat fall to the ground. He had stopped addressing the man as Captain Hook when he realized the criminal enjoyed it. He loved that even a king in a far away land recognized his name.

It was like a game to him. The same way Emma was a game to him, he told himself. James just hoped she wasn't attached to him yet. The pirate was a well known charmer. James didn't want his family torn apart when Jones' sentence was decided upon. James was still pushing for death. Snow was beginning to cave, and he was sure that this news would help his case.

"Hello mate," Jones's greeted as he sat down on his bench and stretched his legs out in front of him. He was trying to appear calm but James could tell the pirate was nervous. Though the prisoner did seem worried, his eyes were glued to Emma. If James hadn't known better, he'd have thought Jones' cared. But pirates never cared for anything but themselves.

"Emma what are you doing down here?" He nearly shouted as he turned his back on Emma. He was glaring at Jones but they knew he was talking to his daughter. He was beyond angry. He couldn't believe this was happening under his nose and he didn't even want to consider the possibility that Emma had been hiding other things. No, this had to be the worst of her transgressions. 

\-----

Emma pulled her robe shut, embarrassed that her father had caught her, but furious that he felt he needed to protect her from Hook. It wasn't his fault she had come down. She'd wanted see him each time she'd come down. God, her father was so rash she almost couldn't stand it. How could anyone possible harm her with metal bars to protect her. It was like he thought she had no common sense. 

She just hoped Hook didn't say anything to provoke her father. She wanted to help him, but she could only do that if he played the good little prisoner and stayed sitting on his bench quietly. Emma almost laughed out loud. Like Hook could keep his mouth shut for more than a minute. His primary function was to goad people until they were red in the face. 

"It isn't his fault," she started, getting between the cell and her father. "I came down here of my own free will and I returned of my own free will. He isn't to blame," Emma defended him, hoping she could at least keep her father from sentencing the man to death. He'd kind of grown on her.

"Emma, why do you defend him? He's a criminal! What has he done to turn you against your kin?" He asked, genuinely baffled. Emma froze at his words. She wasn't betraying anyone. She was just defending her friend. How dare her father accuse her of that?

"Father, listen! I only want to protect my friend. He has trusted me and like no one else in this godforsaken castle, and I am only repaying his kindness." She argued. Her father could be so hard headed.

"Trust? Your mother and I trust you! Ruby trusts you!" Her father shouted. He began pacing anxiously. "Why is that not enough?"

"Because you and mother did not trust me enough to tell me anything of the outside world. Even Red is forced to hold her tongue when she returns from trips." Emma responded quietly, pained. Most of the anger drained from her father and he turned his face to her. His sadness was clear.

"Emma, we had no choice. This world, it will be the death of you. You mustn't ask me to bring on your death." He implored. She almost gave in, but this argument was years late and she needed it to happen. She was just thankful Hook had stayed silent. She didn't want to risk turning to peek at him. The attention needed to stay on her.

"Father, I would rather a short life of happiness, then an endless one filled with misery," she said softly, placing a hand on his cheek. She loved her father but she needed freedom. He covered her hand with one of his own and dropped his eyes to the floor.

"So we have made you miserable?" Her father asked just as softly. Emma didn't need to answer. They both knew the sad truth.

When he looked back up at Emma his eyes were hard and angry. "So be it, as long as you breath. Emma go to your chambers."

Fear took hold in Emma's chest. If she left, her father would hurt Hook. She needed to protect him. He was a prisoner, he had no rights. Her father could do anything he wanted and there would be no repercussions. He was not so cruel, but when his family was threatened, his temper could rule him. She absolutely could not leave. Emma slipped a hand behind her and grabbed onto a bar.

"No, I wish to stay," she demanded as though her knees weren't shaking. The king only stared at her.

"That was not a suggestion," He said gruffly. His eyes flicked behind her and she heard a rustling of clothing.

Hook slipped his hand into Emma's and squeezed it softly. "Emma, love, maybe you should listen to him. He is your father," he whispered. She didn't turn around to face him, but after some deliberation, she decided he was probably right. She squeezed his hand back, nodded to her father, and hurried out of the dungeon, trying to convince herself that she would see her pirate again.

When she;descended from the tower, a guard was waiting in the corridor. He didn't look at her or acknowledge her, but when she began the slow trek back to her chambers, he followed close behind. He knew, along with most of the castle by then, that the princess had been meeting with a pirate. The tears did not come until she was safely locked away in her chambers.

She felt as though she'd left a piece of her in the dungeon and she knew that she would never see her pirate again, no matter how she pretended.

\-----

James paced in the small dungeon and did not dare speak until he could no longer hear his daughter's steps. He didn't want her within hearing range in case he lost his temper and decided to hit the pirate. He was known to lose his temper when it came to his family. And he would definitely hurt Jones, regardless of Snow's opinion, if the man made any comments about Emma.

"So you gonna say anything mate?" Jones's stood and leaned against the bars as he asked. He seemed completely at ease now that Emma was gone and it bothered James very much.

"What did you want with Emma?" James crossed his arms as he waited. Jones chuckled.

"Just company. She's kind, funny, and much more charming than you, if I do say so myself." he offered easily. James didn't believe him, but he let it go. It would be useless, trying to get a pirate to tell the truth. "How did you know she was down here?"

James wasn't going to answer, he didn't owe Jones anything, but he thought it might inspire the pirate to be honest. "I was suspicious when she wasn't in her room at dawn so I sent a guard to follow her tonight. He sent for me when he confirmed that she came here."

"Thanks, mate." he offered James a grin.

"And what does she know of your sentence?" James wondered out loud. Jones face darkened instantly and he stepped closer to James.

"She knows all of what is true," he said in a low voice.

"What have you been telling her? What has she told you?" He finally asked, straightening and turning towards the prisoner.

"Well it's a tad bit confidential, you understand mate," Jones said as fiddled with his hook. He James had to squeeze his eyes shut to keep from hitting him.

"Tell me, or I'll guarantee your place on death row," Hook looked up at James interested, but a small smile graced his lips. He wasn't intimidated for some reason.

"You see, I might have told you but I don't respond well to threats on my life, so it would seem that we're done here." With a nod, Jones sat back down on the bench and leaned his head against the wall. James tried to think of a different incentive to make the man speak, but he thought the pirate cared about nothing. Feeling petty, James put out the only torch in the beside his cell, leaving Jones in darkness. Then he left without a word.

The corridors were silent and it was a quick walk to his chambers. The only light came from the candelabra beside the bed. It illuminated Snow already waiting in their bed. The sight of her calmed him, but not by much. She was reading a novel, but she put it down at the sight of her husband. His distressed expression had her sitting up and at full attention. 

"What's happened?" She questioned him.

"Nothing, I just found Emma in the dungeon with the pirate," he mumbled as if they were talking about the weather. Snow's loud gasp was all he heard as he changed into his sleep wear.

"Did they explain?" She finally asked when he settled in beside her. James pulled her into his arms and kissed the worry lines from her forehead.

"They were both very tight lipped about it all, but I suspect the worst. Tell me you've reconsidered about his penalty." James looked down at his wife hopefully but her expression said it all. She was adamant that they keep their hands clean.

"Then wipe it from your mind. We will decide later." James whispered into her temple before letting his eyes slip shut. He was ready to go to bed until Snow shifted on top of him and straddled his hips.

"Well," she murmured as she slipped her hands up his bare chest, "We don't have to go to sleep yet do we? Because I think we could use a distraction." James raised an eyebrow at her but he loved when she got that small smile. God, he loved Snow. He slipped his hands up her short night gown and rested them on her hips.

"I guess not," he answered after a long pause, feigning reluctance. James flipped them over and gazed down at Snow. She was smiling, hair fanned out across her pillow. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and James wondered how he'd gotten so lucky.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night?" Snow finally asked. James laughed at her impatience.

"Well I would, but I don't have that much self control," He joked as he slipped her night gown over her head and showed his wife how much he loved her.

\-----

The next morning, Emma felt much more logical. She'd spent the night crying over Captain Hook's sure fate, and had gotten most of her emotions under control. She'd never lost anyone before, of coarse most of her family was already dead, but they'd died before she had been born, so she'd never felt much sorrow over it. But the thought of losing a friend had been a pain she'd never felt before.

While one of her chamber maids was tightening her corset that morning, it occurred to Emma that she had no idea how her father had found out she'd been visiting Hook in the night. She'd been careful when she snuck down there. She'd made sure there were no guards around, she hadn't made a sound when sneaking through the halls. And she hadn't told anyone about it. Except Ruby.

Her loud gasp had nothing to do with the sharp pull on her corset.

Ruby would never reveal one of her secrets, Emma knew that. But Emma also knew that her father was king and Ruby was his loyal subject. If he ordered her to tell the truth, Ruby would have been forced to tell him everything if she couldn't think up a convincing lie. It made sense and Emma knew Ruby had no choice, but it still made Emma feel sick to her stomach.

She loved Ruby. She and Emma had grown up together within the palace walls. They'd been best friends for years. They'd promised to be trustworthy. But even though Emma loved Ruby with all if her heart, she couldn't trust the girl, and it was the first time Emma had realized it. She'd been foolish to think that she could trust something like Hook's life in the hands of a subject of her father. 

Ruby had caused Hook's death.

Emma was too depressed to leave her room after breakfast. She'd lost her only two friends in one day and she was in no mood to act like a princess. Emma skipped her lessons and lounged on her window seat staring out into the woods. It was calming. She imagined another life for herself where she could go outside. She could trust people. She could have wild adventures. She could find her true love. The fantasy didn't last long. By midday, her parents had sent for her.

There would be a meeting to officially decide Hook's fate.


	5. Lovesick Fool

The chamber in which the council decided upon the fates of criminals was almost normal. It was of average size with stone walls that matched those of any other room in the palace. It held otherwise unremarkable tapestries, rugs, and a standard round table where the council sat. There were two thrones for the king and queen set against one wall on a slightly raised platform. There was a small throne for the princess set beside them. It could be mistaken for any other room in the castle if not for one glaring detail in the chamber.

In the center of the room, a large steel ring was set into the floor. This was where the prisoner was chained so he might attend the meeting as well. In this way, he/she was able to defend themselves before the final decision about their future was made. Emma hated that part of the few trials she'd attended the most, because the council rarely listened to the anything the accused had to say.

She doubted Hook would be any different.

Emma arrived as early as she could and was the first one present. She'd vainly hoped she would be able to get a moment alone with Hook to apologize for everything and maybe deliver his kiss before he was hanged. The council members followed shortly after. Then came the bystanders who stood in the back and watched as if it were a show. Nearly a hundred appeared at the trial as Emma had expected. A pirate could draw a crowd anywhere.

Her parents cleverly waited until the meeting was beginning to arrive. After they were seated, about ten guards escorted Captain Hook into the chamber and attached his chains to the ring on the floor. It was painful to watch, but Emma thought it would be cruel of her to look away, so she didn't. She noticed how very calm he looked and she wanted to shake him. This was serious.

Emma knew it was wrong of her to think so, but she was impressed by how many guards had accompanied the pirate. She had never seen a prisoner warrant so many before. He must have put up one hell of a fight during his arrest. Hook glanced up at Emma once he was hooked into place and winked up at her despite the audience. She wanted to hit him again. But she figured there were a lot of people in the room who wanted to do that. 

She knew her father was seething from where he sat. Emma blushed but she didn't look away. Hook didn't look away either and she knew her father was none too pleased about that. But she was beyond caring. He would be sentenced to death in a few short minutes, she was sure of it, and she didn't want to waste the she had staring at a wall instead of Hook. Her father didn't deserve an obedient daughter after what he was about to do. 

The head of the council, a short bald man with a rotund belly stood once Hook was settled in and everyone was seated. Emma couldn't recall his name and she didn't care to. He kept his back erect and his mouth shut until the chamber was absolutely silent. Then he cleared his throat and began reading a piece of parchment in his hand. 

"Today, Killian Jones stands trial for countless crimes committed throughout the realms. While most were not committed in this land, the charges hold due to testimonies from other law enforcement. His crimes are as follows: Grand piracy, theft, blackmail on multiple occasions, kidnapping, destruction of property, smuggling, assualt on multiple occasions, and murder. These charges-"

The queen stood quickly and interrupted the head before he could continue. "Strike murder from the charges. It was not proven." Then she sat as though nothing had happened. Every eye trained on her for a moment longer including Emma's. She tried to send her mother a look of gratitude, but Snow would not meet her daughter's eyes. She tried not to think about how disappointed her mother probably was with her. 

The head of the council nodded at her after a few moments of silence and continued. "Killian Jones, do you have anything to say in your defense?" He asked dully, already sitting down. Anyone could tell he was hardly listening. But after checking, Emma found that her parents were watching him intently. As if they cared about what he had to say. As if he actually had a chance of getting free. 

"Well mate, I can start by correcting you. It's Captain Jones. And I-" Hook began, but the king cut him off quickly. Emma wanted to hit him for patronizing someone who obviously held much sway in whether Hook would see the sunrise again. God, why was acting like such a jerk. Emma didn't get it, it was like he wanted to be sentenced to death. But that was a ridiculous thought. 

"Killian, defend yourself or remain quiet." He stated with finality. Hook didn't even glance in his direction, but sent a cocky grin to Emma that sped up her heart beat and infuriated her. Why wasn't he taking it seriously?!?

"If we're being honest with each other, it's theft on multiple occasions as well," Hook said after thinking deeply. Emma almost flew from her seat and struck him, but her mother placed a hand on her shoulder. Emma was too angry to turn around and thank her. The council would have her head if she did that. But Hook needed someone to smack some sense into him. 

The head councilman stood once more and glared at Hook. "The council will decide the prisoner's fate then consult with the king and queen." He stated, for the benefit of the crowd. The council bent around the table and whispered softly to each other for an embarrassingly short period of time. Emma was seeing red, and no matter how Hook smiled at her reassuringly, she couldn't drop her glare. 

The head councilman then took the sheet of parchment up to the thrones where her parents sat. They whispered intently as Emma gazed at Hook. It bothered her more than she could ever admit that he looked completely at ease. He didn't look at all remorseful and acted as if he expected to be released with nothing more than a slap on the wrist once the trial had run it's coarse.

It was absolutely maddening. She tried to plead with him with her eyes, but he only shot her his most dazzling smile. As if that would change his fate. Emma was on the verge of pulling out her hair. How could he be so calm at such a time? He'd clearly been in similar situations, but none of those had been as dire as this one. There was no way he could get out of it if they sentenced him to death. 

They reached a decision and the councilman walked back to his place at the round table slowly. Emma thought he did it on purpose to add suspense. She hated him even more for it. She hated him for what he had the power to do. She hated how smug he look as he looked over the parchment. She just really hated him. 

"The fate of Killian Jones, AKA Captain Jones, AKA Captain Hook, has been decided." He announced snidely. "The accused will be hung at dawn tomorrow in the main courtyard of the palace." Then the man sat and folded his hands as if he hadn't just played a role in killing another person.

Emma felt the breath leave her lungs and it wouldn't go back in. She'd been expecting the decree, preparing herself for it, but she hadn't expected to be so devastated. She liked Hook. She really liked him and she didn't want to see the noose lowered over his head, or the light leave his eyes. She couldn't imagine attending, but she felt she owed it to him to be there. 

She covered her mouth with her hand, knowing she would make a sound if she didn't. There were still villagers around and she couldn't make a scene. It wouldn't do for a princess to be distraught over the death of a single criminal. Even so, she felt her eyes water slightly. Hook didn't deserve it. He was a criminal, but he'd been kind to her. He'd treated her like a person.

Killian, Emma realized. That was his actual name. He looked up at Emma once more as he was unhooked from the floor. He was smiling up at her so confidently that she knew he didn't think he would be dying in the next day. He wanted her to believe it too. He'd survived a long time as a pirate and he was cocky, but Emma couldn't believe that he was going to live. It was too much to hope for. 

No one had ever escaped punishment under the hands of her parents except for Regina, and Emma did not believe that Hook was in the same class as her. That would mean he was as evil as the old queen. Awful as it sounded, Emma would have preferred Killian dead, than find him to be as evil as the witch. Regina had killed thousands, Killian hadn't even hurt one. 

As he was escorted out, Killian never broke eye contact with Emma once. Not until the doors closed behind him. She stared at them even after they were sealed, hoping that somehow the pirate would burst through them. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she knew it was her mother. She knew both her parents wanted to speak with her about him, but she just needed one more second.

"Emma, this is important," Snow whispered as people slowly filed out. Emma nodded but made no move to stand or turn around. Her body felt heavy. Her parents instead knelt at her feet the way they did when they wanted to get through to her. 

"Emma," snow began softly. Emma listened but did not look away from those doors. "Sweetheart, I never intended to make you miserable. We just wanted to protect you. The truth is, Regina cast a spell many years ago that would cause your death when you turned 20. She said should you ever leave the castle you would be dead to us. But I understand now. We were the ones killing you. Emma, we're so sorry for not realizing sooner." Snow's voice wobbled and Emma glanced down at her.

Her mother was kneeling with watery eyes and her father was standing, one hand on her mother's shoulder. His eyes seemed suspiciously wet too. They both looked so apologetic that Emma didn't consider doing anything but throw her arms around them. She hugged so fiercely that she thought she might hurt them. She felt like deep down inside, she wanted to. They had caused all of this. 

"We've changed all of your lessons. Starting tomorrow, you'll have archery, horse back riding, and swords practice in the courtyard." Her father breathed into her hair and Emma almost cried with them. She felt like she was trading Hook for her freedom and she wasn't sure it it was worth it yet.

\-----

No one asked Emma if she would be attending the execution, no one had needed to. She had attended a handful in the past years, and she'd only ever gone because it meant she could be outside for a short while. but this one was clearly different. There had been no scene at the hearing, but they all knew she'd been sneaking around to see Killian. They'd heard the rumors. 

The sun was just setting over the forest when Emma reached her chambers. She thanked God that there were no surprise visitors waiting for her. Emma had been terrified that Ruby would be waiting and she would have to confront her friend. She was more into ignoring feelings and hoping they went away. At least until she was able to get rid of the hole Killian's sentence had caused.

She sat at her window seat and watched the sky until tiny stars began to make their appearances. First one, then a dozen, then a million lit up the sky. It was captivating. Emma had always enjoyed watching the sky shift from day to night. And the stars had always held her attention for far longer than anything else and they allowed her to clear her mind. She sometimes wished she could learn about them, and with her new freedom, she considered it a real possibility.

But as she dreamed about her life to come, she realized the beginning of it would be punctuated with the death of a friend. She felt the tears on her cheeks before the breathlessness came. Maybe she was overreacting, she'd only spoken to Hook a few times. But she felt as though she had gotten to know him. He was a criminal, but he wasn't evil. He had good in him and he didn't deserve to die.

She felt silly sobbing on a window seat over a friend she had barely gotten to know. But then Emma thought she might be the only one who would miss him and that made her cry harder. She sobbed into a small pillow, curled up on the window seat. It was incredibly uncomfortable so once she'd calmed down slightly, she was forced to stand and remove her dress and corset with bleary eyes.

It took longer then she liked with her shaking fingers, and when her night gown was on, she didn't go back to her bed. She curled up on the window seat once more, hugging her damp pillow. When her eyes began to sting, she pulled her robe over herself like a blanket and fell into a dreamless sleep.

\-----

Emma, in her short life, had been woken a number of ways by her impatient chamber maids. She'd had cold water splashed on her face, she'd woken to screaming women down the hall, Red jumping on her bed, guards pounding on her door, and that wasn't even the half of it. But she'd never woken in the middle of the night to a man's hand covering her mouth.

Just the fact that she woke with a hand to her mouth made her inhale, preparing to scream at the top of her lungs. There were supposed to be guards outside her door who would come rushing in if need be. But then a face came into view. A familiar face with a gentle smile and blue eyes that silently begged her not to scream. She didn't even need to think twice about it.

"I'm going to move my hand now, love, please don't scream," he whispered. Emma nodded. She just wanted to know why Killian was in her bedroom in the middle of the night. He removed his hand hesitantly and Emma sat up to make sure she was still in her chambers. She was on the widow seat with her robe pooled around her waist. She yanked it on, feeling indecent and took in her visitor.

Killian sat calmly on the edge of the window seat at Emma's feet. He seemed to be in one piece. His eyes were practically glowing in the darkness. But there was something different about him. She realized what it was quickly enough. This pirate had a sword at his hip and no chains attached to him. She waited for the fear, but it never came. What did come was relief.

"Killian? What are you doing here?" She asked once it became apparent he was waiting on her.

"Ahh so I see you you've learned my real name." He teased. Emma held her breath. It was too good to be true to think that he'd escaped.

"You didn't answer my question," she mumbled. "And I can go back to H-"

"No, I like how you say Killian," he said, cutting her off with that grin of his. Emma didn't know what it was about him that made her feel like she was on fire. "Anyways, once I knew they were gonna bloody kill me, I wasn't keen on staying any longer." he answered with a soft chuckle. Emma pulled her legs in and gave him more room on the seat. He gratefully took it.

"So then why didn't you escape sooner?" she asked.

"Well I would have, but I didn't want to leave with out seeing the famous princess. Then you came back and such company is far better then escaping." He teased, but she could tell he was serious by the way he fixed those bright blue eyes on her. Emma suddenly felt nervous, alone in her room with a pirate who gave her chills, and butterflies, and other things she couldn't begin name.

"You were caught on purpose weren't you?" Emma blurted out when she remembered how to breathe. Hook threw his head back and laughed silently.

"I forget you are clever as well as beautiful." he complimented. "Yes, I arrived here with the intent to see you. But I was going to leave right away. You made me want to stay." Emma met his gaze even though she knew he could see her blush. The silence held some kind of promise that she couldn't decipher but couldn't stop from making, all the same.

"May I ask you two small favors?" Killian finally whispered, though he looked like he hated to speak. Emma only nodded.

"The first, would it be possible for me to collect on that kiss before I go?" He asked so nervously, she'd never seen him wear that face. It was nice to know that she wasn't the only one who was affected.

"What if I said no?" She whispered, leaning just a centimeter closer.

"Then I would be forced to spend the rest of my life trying to get you to change your mind." Killian whispered back with determined eyes. 

"Then I should take pity on you," Emma responded.

Emma let her eyes drop to his lips and she'd barely begun to nod before he slipped an arm around her waist, careful of his hook, and threaded the other through her hair. He pulled her flush against him and pressed their lips together in a surprisingly chaste kiss. She smiled against his lips at the feel of his facial hair against her soft skin, letting her hands rest behind his neck.

When he pulled away, she was flustered all the same. So that was it, a pirate had taken her first kiss. She had to fight not to giggle at the thought. She wanted to pull him in once more, she wanted more, but quickly realized it was unwise given the circumstances. They were both smiling softly regardless. His eyes were shinning and she couldn't tell if it was that or the kiss that was causing that warmth to emanate from her core.

"Now my second question. Will you come with me?" Emma froze. He looked so hopeful.

He was offering everything she ever wanted. An escape, a life of adventure, and maybe, just maybe, a chance at love. Hours ago Emma would have said yes in a moment, but she couldn't any more. Her parents had begun to understand her. They were going to teach her how to survive and fight on her own. She was finally going to feel like she had a family that understood her. She needed to stay.

But she didn't want to destroy that hopeful look on Killian's face.

She placed a hand on his cheek. "I wish I could, but I truly can't. My parents have just come to their senses and I want to learn to fight and be self sufficient before I go out into the world." Pain flashed across his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a cocky exterior that Killian used to very often.

"Don't fret love, before you know it, I'll be back trying to steal you away again?" he placed his hand over hers and laced their fingers together. Emma could feel the hope, she wanted him to return, she wanted that kiss to mean something. His eyes said it did. But she didn't know if she could trust a pirate. 

"Do you promise?" She finally asked. He laughed softly and pecked her on the lips once more before standing.

"I give you my word. You can always trust a pirates's word." With a wink, Killian bowed to Emma and slipped out her bedroom door. She almost hurried after him when she realized there were guards at her door, but she stopped when she heard no commotion.

Oh, he was good


	6. Think of Me

Captain Hook was a villain. He sailed the seas and took what he wanted from whomever he wanted, leaving no room to care about anyone. Until Emma. As hook stood perched at the at the bow of the Jolly Roger, he thought fondly of Emma. He missed her, though he thought it was very unlike him to miss any specific woman. She wasn't just any woman, he told himself. 

Emma was different. It wasn't even as though he knew everything about her. All she had done was visit him, give him a chance, and listen. She was kind and that could have been because she was naive, but he didn't think so. Emma just seemed to genuinely like him, and so few people did besides his crew. When he'd seen her puffy eyes that night he knew she didn't just like him, she would have missed him. 

He wanted to deserve that. She was beautiful. Her golden hair that tumbled over her shoulders and down her slender back. Those green eyes that made Hook think of the sea. The perfume that lingered even after she was long gone. That pale skin that looked as though it had never seen the light of day. Hook had been so close to showing her what it was like to be well and truly free.

He remembered the longing in her eyes as if she were in front of him. A fool could have seen that she'd wanted to escape with him. But she'd wanted to give her parents a second chance. It was just as well. Hook didn't have parents and he didn't want Emma to feel the grief that he did over it. If Hook ever had a shot in hell at having her, it wouldn't help his case to steal her away in the night anyways.

But he would have her. She was just the girl for him. He could tell. She wanted the same thing he did. Adventure. As the wind ruffled his hair, Hook couldn't help but think how much she would love it. The feel of the cool breeze, the smell of the ocean, the old beloved ship that Hook called home. He smiled at the thought of Emma on the Jolly Roger. Oh, he would see it one day, even if it killed him.

Hook turned as he began to hear cheers ring out throughout his ship. There was land ahead. Just a small green sliver, but visible. While Hook's crew loved the sea, they also loved a chance to get some ale and a chance with a woman. Intoxicated women in dank bars had always been enough for him, but after Emma, he couldn't even consider it. 

So while his crew cheered on, Hook stood silently and pressed his fingers to his lips. Emma was waiting for him out there. It had been months since he'd left, but he had faith that she was staying true to him, as he was to her. And with only a kiss to keep him true, Hook was feeling more than a little eager to see what else Emma could do.

"Full Speed Ahead!"

\-----

Emma tumbled to the ground roughly, rolling over in time to see the edge of a blade press against her throat. She'd been training with her parents for three months, and to say she'd been enjoying every second of it would have been an understatement. Her mother had been taking over her horse back and archery lessons while her father had took it upon himself to teach her how to use every blade in existence.

She stared up at her father and stubbornly refused the hand he'd offered. She could almost defeat him, but that was when he was holding back. She didn't want him to hold back anymore. She wanted him to give his all, that way she would know how competent she would actually be in the real world. Emma rolled to her feet and retrieved her sword in one move the way her father had shown her.

"You're getting better," Her father complimented her as he charged. Emma brought up her sword just in time to defend herself.

When she'd first started her classes with her father, Emma had been so weak she could barely lift her sword. Her father had been forced to put her on a work out regime to get her in shape. It turned out staying in a castle all day did nothing for a girl's muscles. It hadn't taken too long for her to catch up though. Emma just wished she could have begun learning ages ago. Each time her father smiled at her or praised her, she felt so fulfilled.

She preferred these practice sessions to those with her mother. Emma loved her mother but while her father had loosened up, her mother had become more overprotective. When they rode their horses, Snow wouldn't let Emma do anything but trot at a leisurely pace. And as if that wasn't bad enough, her mother censored her arrows too. Snow wouldn't let Emma use arrows with points so she felt like a toddler.

She loved spending time with her mother though. Snow told Emma about all of the adventures she'd had when she was younger. Emma hadn't even known that her mother had lived in the woods for years. She'd never known how her parents had met. She'd never heard how her grandparents had died. And it was amazing how many questions her mother would answer once her parents decided that it was in Emma's best interest that she know things.

With a grunt, Emma blocked another attach from her father and took a few steps back. They circled while she caught her breathe. Her father didn't even look tired but Emma was ready to curl up in bed and never wake up. Sweat was dripping down her forehead, her muscles were all screaming for a break, but she never complained about a little hard work. As she was circling the courtyard, Emma thought she caught sight of a piece of black cloth out of the corner of her eye.

Without thinking, she straightened and lowered her weapon, trying to glance around the nearest building. She could have sworn she'd seen a black coat disappear behind it. In her distraction, the king swooped in and placed the edge of his blade to her throat. Emma hardly noticed. She was still trying to decide whether or not she imagined it. She had been going a little crazy lately.

"Emma? Are you feeling well?" Her father shook her shoulder and pulled away, genuinely concerned.

"O-of coarse, I guess I've just been in the sun too long," she rationalized. The summer had been unusually long. Even with her hair in a braid, the heat was unbearable.

Her father just nodded as she handed him her weapon and fled for the cooler temperature in the castle. She felt the rush of adrenaline from fighting ebb away, only to be replaced by loneliness. Emma's new relationship with her parents was better than she would have ever imagined, but she still missed having friends or really just anyone she could talk to about personal things.

She'd been avoiding Ruby since her betrayal and it was taking it's toll on Emma. When they were in the same room, which wasn't often, Emma would excuse herself immediately. When Ruby came to her bed chamber, Emma would feign illness and have a chamber maid send her away. She felt awful for it, but Emma couldn't think of one thing to say to her old friend. 

She just wanted someone she could trust.

But that just made her think of Killian. He'd promised to return for her, but Emma couldn't see how that was possible. The next morning, after he'd escaped, she realized that he would probably never be able to return to her kingdom again. And after three months she was wondering whether she was right. He must have known how difficult it would be to escape a second time. Maybe he'd decided Emma wasn't worth coming back for.

But that thought hurt too much to linger on. She sprawled out on her bed and tried to think positive thoughts, but doubt kept slipping in between the cracks. She could have imagined the whole night. After all, there was no proof that he had come to her that night. She had been the only witness, unless her walls were going to start talking. She gazed at them but they remained silent as ever. 

From the way her parents avoided speaking about him, they must have sensed how much Emma didn't want to, Killian could have been entirely made up. Just the dreams of a young girl who wished for a life of adventure and romance. She had only seen him at night, after going to sleep. She could have imagined it all. People had always told her she had a very active imagination.

Except for the kiss. He had kissed her twice, but it was the first kiss that had stolen her breath and warmed her to her core. Emma had never kissed a man before and she was sure her imagination wasn't so good that it could imagine Killian. Not even her dreams after he left were as good as that one kiss. And the longer he was away, the more interesting they got.

She could feel her cheeks heating up at the thought of them. Emma just wanted Killian back so she could feel that way again. She wanted to feel the fire beneath her skin that he lit. Which was why she'd been so excited when she thought she'd seen his coat. She didn't want to admit she was going crazy and she really didn't want to admit how much she missed him.

She barely knew killian but she missed him like they'd been friends for years. She didn't just want to feel his lips all over her, she wanted to talk to him, have him care. After he'd proved he was such a competent escapist, Emma was sure that he could be the one person who would never sell her out to her parents. He wasn't their subject and that just made it all the more thrilling.

As she thought about him, she felt that familiar ache. Emma nuzzled her head in her pillow and tried to think of something besides her pirate. She quickly changed into a casual gown, leaving out the corset for once, and collapsed onto her bed, drifting off.

\-----

Bloody hell, she'd almost seen him! Hook was determined to make his arrival a surprise, but Emma was making it very, very difficult. It had been surprisingly easy to get into the castle, those guards were all morons. The courtyard was a bit harder. The king himself was outside sparing so there was a boatload of protection, but Hook was able to slip by. He wasn't captain for nothing.

Hook was captivated, however, when he saw who the king was with. Aside from the dozen or so guards, a young lady in very form fitting attire and a long, golden braid was sparing with him. Emma looked ravishing in men's clothing, strange as it sounded, and she looked even better with a sword in hand. Killian couldn't have pulled himself away if he tried. 

He'd been completely taken by the way she moved, blocking blows and trying to slip past her father's defenses. He was far better than her but that was to be expected. He had 200 years of handling a sword on her three months. But Hook had forgotten he was hiding in his state of awe and when Emma began circling her father, he barely made it out of her line of sight in time.

He wanted to kick himself for getting caught up in it all, but he couldn't be blamed. Emma was a vision, no matter what she was doing and anyone with a brain would agree. He was beginning to understand why her father had locked her away, even if he could never do that. With a sigh, he waited in an alcove inside the castle until Emma rushed by looking flustered. 

He followed her silently and was pleased to see there were no longer guards stationed outside of her bedchamber. That would have made it much harder to follow. He didn't want to catch her while he was changing, oh but he really did, so he waited a few minutes before slipping in after her. He was really hoping the silence meant she didn't have any company. 

Hook would never admit it, but Emma was precious when she was sleeping. With her braid coming loose and her gown hiked up her calves, she looked like she was just begging to be woken with a kiss. But she also looked peaceful and she'd been so tired she hadn't even pulled the covers over herself. So Hook draped a blanket over her still form and hunkered down in a seat behind the door and kept watch. If anyone entered they wouldn't immediately see him, and from his perch, he could watch Emma doze. It was much more interesting then it sounded.

But it didn't last. Before an hour was up, Emma's bedroom door was slammed open.

\-----

Ruby had had it with being ignored. She was a werewolf, she was being courted by the king's huntsman, she was the second best hunter in the land. She did not deserve to be ignored by anyone. Especially not her own best friend. Emma was a princess, but she was not immune to Ruby's wrath, and she was going to finally get an ear full about her disappearing act she'd been pulling.

She had just gotten back from a two week long hunting trip, and over the trip, Graham had advised her to get Emma to tell her what was wrong. And something was very wrong. Emma had been looking more depressed than usual, despite the freedom her parents were allowing her. Ruby didn't get it. Some freedom was all Emma had ever wanted. The girl should have been happy.

So after getting in touch with her natural side, she decided Graham was right. All she had stopped to do was drop off her kills in the kitchen, then she headed straight for the princess's quarters. She slammed the door open and didn't even pause when she saw her friend passed out on her bed. Ruby didn't care if the girl was asleep, she wasn't going to wait any longer for an explanation.

"Emma! Wake up this instant!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. And she had quite the pair. Emma nearly jumped a foot in the air. She sat up but her wide eyes seemed to move past Red. Behind her.

"What is it, Emma?" Red stepped forward, suddenly concerned. Emma looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"N-nothing," she stammered, fixing her gaze on Red. But Red was already turning.

She would have screamed if the hand hadn't gone over her mouth instantly. But the leather clad man was faster than her. Ruby couldn't even think of a reason why there would be one in Emma's room, but then she'd never been the creative one. Emma was the one who dreamed wild dreams. And apparently acted them out. She just hoped very much that it wasn't the same man who had escaped months ago. 

"I'm going to let go now, please don't scream or I'll be forced to knock you out," he whispered gently. Ruby didn't know what the calm voice was meant to do when the man had a hook attached to his wrist. But she nodded. She was going to interrogate Emma after all. About ignoring her, and about the man in her room. 

"You're the pirate aren't you?" Ruby asked suspiciously as she backed up onto Emma's bed. The princess was still frozen in place in shock. Hook didn't respond to Ruby. He only nudged the door closed and took a hesitant step toward Emma.

"Emma, love, are you feeling right?" He asked tenderly. But Ruby knew she had to be confused. Pirates weren't tender. She started to place herself between the two, but Emma grabbed her shoulder and nudged her out of the way. Ruby could not believe how foolish her friend was acting.

"Killian, I'm so glad you came back," she choked out before throwing herself into the man's arms.

Ruby was terrified that when he caught her she would be impaled by his hook. The pirate was careful though, and he enfolded her in his arms easily. He dipped his head so it rested in the curve of Emma's neck, and Ruby suddenly felt like she was intruding on their moment. Which was absurd. She needed to call a guard to protect Emma from the man who was...stroking her cheek softly?

"Emma, explain this," she demanded. Ruby hated to be in the dark. Especially when it concerned her best friend and a potential threat. 

Emma pulled away and turned toward Red with a smile that just screamed infatuation. But the pirate behind her held the same look. He placed his hand on her hip and rested his chin on the top of her head. If Ruby didn't know any better, she would have thought that the pirate was courting the princess. She would have thought that they were in love or something just as ludicrous. 

"I don't need to tell you anything, you would just tell my parents about it," Emma remarked darkly.

"What? Emma I haven't told your parent's a thing!" Ruby defended. She'd take each of Emma's secrets to the grave. Even the one about her visiting the prisoner...

"Why would you lie to me? Your friend?" She asked, her voice breaking. Emma's eyes were watering and Ruby's confusion wasn't going away.

"Emma, I would never lie to you," Red said as she took a few steps toward her friend.

"Then who told them I was sneaking into the dungeon? That's the reason he was sentenced to hanging," She whispered, hurt. Ruby had no idea her parents had found out and she hated when Emma adopted that broken expression. So did the pirate, because he pulled her closer when he caught sight of it.

"Emma, love, she didn't tell your father about that," he murmured reassuringly. "Your father found out on his own and sent a guard to confirm."

Emma's eyes widened in disbelief and she turned her head from her pirate to her best friend. "So you didn't tell?" She asked Ruby hopefully. As soon as Ruby shook her head, Emma was in her arms, hugging her tight and apologizing. Ruby just wished she'd known sooner. She never would have guessed that that was why Emma was upset and it would have saved a lot of ranting to Graham.

She hugged Emma back and hushed her. "It's fine, just tell me why there is a pirate in your bedroom." She suggested.

Emma pulled away blushing. "It's a long story," she warned. The pirate was back to sitting in the seat behind the door. Ruby needed some wine if she was going to make it through the whole thing. "But in short, I very much enjoy Killian's company..." Emma explained. She was looking very pink and Ruby couldn't hold in her grin. Well at least she knew her friend was interested in someone.

"Well why didn't you say so? He seemed to enjoy your company as well," Ruby teased, but Killian seemed to be immune to teasing. His grin said he very much did.

"Emma, would you prefer I come back at another time?" Killian asked standing. "It seems you have catching up to do," he grinned at the princess and Ruby had to admit he was rather attractive. Maybe it would be okay for her to let Emma have a little fun. But just for the day. She needed an explanation if she was going to bite her tongue any longer. 

"No!" Emma nearly shouted, as she grabbed onto Killian's hand to keep him in place. "Stay!" Ruby laughed quietly at her. Killian's grin widened substantially at her eagerness and she blushed. Ruby decided quickly that maybe she liked the pirate. He did make Emma smile her real smiles. And He would definitely hold her attention, unlike Baelfire.

"Then I'll take my leave. Emma and I will catch up tonight," Ruby offered as she took in the couple. They looked like they needed some alone time. Ruby had crashed their reunion. When Emma didn't protest, Ruby gave her a brief hug and glared at Killian. "I'm keeping an eye on you," she threatened him, before opening the door.

But before she left, she called one thing to Emma, over her shoulder. "Don't do anything I wouldn't."

Ruby was laughing to herself all the way down the hall. She didn't suspect Emma would do anything at all with that pirate. After all, she'd never shown any real interest in boys. When Baelfire had come calling, Emma had never spoken to him again. It was dramatic, but Emma was anything but subtle. Although, he hadn't looked anything like the man that was currently in her chambers.

And Emma had been very obvious about being attracted to the pirate. Who wouldn't be? Even Ruby had to admit that he was something delicious. And he was dangerous, so that made him even more of a treat. His slight beard made him look rough, but he was so soft with Emma, from what Ruby had witnessed, that she imagined he was really great in bed. But Emma wouldn't be able to tell about that.

She was so obviously a virgin. And even though Ruby wanted her to have her fun, she also wanted Emma to stay that way. He was a fun distraction, but eventually Emma would have to get married and it was custom that princesses stay pure for their husbands. There was no way her pirate could ever be that. Not when he lacked a title that would impress her parents. Not when he was on the run from her parents. 

He was handsome, adventurous, and sweet to her, but Emma needed a prince charming. She was going to rule some day and no one would take a queen serious when she'd married a pirate. Ruby would support her no matter what, but her parents would never allow it. And Emma would never be happy with him if he caused a falling out with her and her parents. 

Ruby suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for Emma. The girl wasn't one to have one night stands, so she wouldn't be able to enjoy the man while she had him. She really liked the pirate, and she would be crushed by the realization that they could never be together. Ruby would be worse than devastated if she couldn't have a life with Graham someday.

It was sad, but sometimes royalty and happiness didn't coincide.


	7. If I Had You

With Red gone, Emma stepped away quickly, blushing. She couldn't believe how foolishly she was behaving. Not that there was a protocol for the situation. What was a lady to do when alone in her quarters with a gentleman who was not a gentleman at all? And what was she to do when the gentleman wanted her in a dangerous way? She could see it clearly in his eyes as he gazed at her.

With a sigh, Emma took a seat on the edge of her bed. Killian sat back down in the seat beside the door patiently. It was easier to think with him far away. She was so happy he was back, it was like finally being able to breathe. He was safe and in one piece. But she was having second thoughts. After all, what good could come from them being together. A princess and a pirate. The idea was laughable.

But when Emma looked up at him, Killian grinned and her heart kicked into over drive. It was undeniable that she liked him, and she was very attracted to him. And he was grinning at her like he knew her. It almost seemed like he knew everything about her, exactly what she was thinking, and he still wanted her. But that just couldn't be possible. All anyone saw was the princess. 

"You don't know me," She rationalized out loud. Killian only raised an eyebrow.

"I don't?" He asked, fiddling with his hook.

"No, how could you?" Emma said softly, standing up, pacing.

"I believe I know you better than you think, love," he replied vaguely. When Emma paused to glance at him skeptically, he chuckled and continued. "I know you're stubborn, curious, you long to travel, you hate being lied to, You have a bit of a temper, you genuinely care about people, you're forgiving, and you believe that pirates shouldn't be hung."

Emma froze as his list went on and on. She didn't understand how he could have gleaned so much from her in such a short time. It was disturbing, but she was also flattered. He knew what she was though she'd tried not to give too much away, and he was still looking at her like that. Like he wanted to eat her. It made her want to do things to him that no princess should consider.

But she was surprised when she realized that she knew just as much about him. Hook was kind, and cunning, and charming, and the only law he followed was his own. He was no murderer, he loved the sea, he lived for adventure, he was secretly a gentleman, and he was fond of a certain princess with golden hair. She felt a small smile force its way onto her lips. 

"Did anyone ever tell you you're quite observant?" She asked finally.

"It's been thrown around," Killian mentioned as he stood. Emma would have to add impatient to that list as well. And Emma had to admit she was lacking in patience too. But she still felt the urge to run when Killian approached her like he was on the hunt. She'd knew no prince or lord could ever look so feral. "What would your father say? I'm a pirate, I should be hanging," Killian teased her. 

She felt her breath get caught in her throat as Killian approached where she sat on the edge of her bed. He leaned over her resting his hand and hook on either side of her on the bed. She had to lean back to keep from touching him. She wanted to draw it out. They weren't in any rush, and the longer his lips weren't on hers, the better she knew it would be when they finally met.

"Pirates should hang. Just not mine," she murmured. She was shocked but how positively territorial she sounded. Emma wasn't acting like a princess anymore and it felt so good. Killian brought out a side of her that dared to be something besides the obedient princess. With him, she could live a little.

"Do you know what you're getting into, love?," Killian whispered, drawing closer so their noses were a hair apart. He had a smirk and taunting eyes that made Emma lose her breathe. How could a pirate wearing eyeliner, and missing a hand, be so completely mesmerizing.

"You have to ask?" Emma breathed against his lips before grabbing his collar and pulling him onto her. She'd been thinking about those lips for months, and she was not disappointed when they met.

Emma smiled as the first thing she tasted was the sea on his lips. They were warm and salty and so very inviting. She couldn't have pulled away if she tried. Emma didn't care that they were different. She didn't care that anyone could walk in at any minute. All she cared about was Killian's stubble against her soft face and the warm feeling he was sparking deep in her belly.

She threaded her fingers through his hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She was filled with the smell, feel and taste of Killian, and Emma loved it. She felt enveloped by him and for a moment it was easy to imagine they were on his ship, sailing away from any force that would try to keep them apart. When he parted her lips with his tongue, she was delirious.

Emma fell back, pulling Killian on top of her. He rested his left arm beside her head, and his right hand skimmed her calf, stopping at her knee to wrap the leg around his hip. She vaguely felt her dress pool around her hips, but Emma could hardly bring herself to care. She slid her hands under Killian's coat and lightly ran her fingers under the hem of his shirt. Hook responded with a soft groan. Emma took it as encouragement and let her hands trail up. 

Killian slowly slid his right hand from Emma's knee up her thigh to where her skirt was pulled. She knew she should stop him, but she didn't ever want him to stop touching her. Emma was burning up from the inside out and he was the only cure. Killian was moving his lips down her neck with skill that she dared not question. She only tilted her head up to give him room as a soft moan left her lips. Killian froze at the sound, realized where his hand was heading, and pulled away.

He looked so gloriously disheveled that Emma almost didn't care that he wasn't touching her anymore. His hair was a mess, more so than usual, his cheeks were flushed, and his breathing was almost as erratic as hers. It was thrilling to know that she alone had brought forth that sort of reaction. She didn't even feel embarrassed that her skirts were around her waist though she was realizing what a foolish decision she would have made if Killian hadn't pulled away. 

"If noises like that are going to be coming out of that pretty little mouth, I'll need a moment, love," He said raggedly. Emma didn't understand until her eyes drifted down to his pants. They were quite tight and it wasn't hard to tell that Hook had a rather large problem that made Emma blush and look up at his face. She really needed to stay away from doing things in the heat of the moment.

"Oh," was all she managed. Emma's placed all her attention on tucking her legs under her skirts. 

"Purity is rather important to princesses, am I correct?" He got out once he was more composed.

"You are," she admitted, still not looking up.

"It's alright, love. I didn't come here for that," Killian whispered, tilting her chin so Emma would look at him. He looked so soft and sincere that Emma was beginning to run out of doubts.

"I know. I missed you."

"Not nearly as much as I missed you," he argued leaning their heads together. She smiled up at killian and Emma knew she probably looked insane but she could hardly bring herself to stop.

"Come here," she inclined her head towards her bed. Emma was in no way ready to give up her virginity, but she did want to be close to Killian. She wanted to feel his warmth and fit snugly into his arms. She didn't have anyone she could lie next to and just enjoy being close to. Well, maybe she did, but the only one she wanted was standing before her wearing a little too much leather.

She crawled into the center of her bed and patted the comforter beside her. Killian slid onto the bed, removed his boots and coat, and opened his arms. She fit into them perfectly. When he wrapped them around her waist, Emma rested her head on Killian's chest and sighed in content. She could feel his breath tickling the top of her head. She could hear his heart beat through his vest.

Before she knew it, the day had caught up with her and Emma was sound asleep in the arms of her pirate.

\-----

Hook watched on as Emma fell into a peaceful sleep in his arms. He felt himself smile wider than he could remember doing in years. She was so perfect, and he couldn't believe she trusted him enough to fall asleep like that. And she'd been so genuinely happy to see him. Hook had worried briefly while he was away that when he returned Emma would regret him. She would see him as a distraction she'd enjoyed for a time but was done with.

After all, she was a princess and he was just a bloody pirate. He'd done so many terrible things in his life, but when Hook looked down at Emma, he felt like maybe those things didn't matter to her. The thought warmed him to his core more effectively than Emma's smile. Well, almost as effectively. He was finding that nothing was as good as what Emma could do to him. 

Killian drifted in and out of sleep for a while. Each time he opened his eyes, Emma was still there, clinging to him in her sleep, almost like she needed him. It was the most incredible feeling he'd ever had. Better than waking up next to Milah in the morning. Better than going sleep with Milah. Hook shook the thoughts from his head. He was thinking crazy.

It was almost as if he was in lo-

"Is she asleep?" Ruby whispered as she peeked her head in the door. Hook nodded as slowly as he could. Her ear was too close to his mouth for him to want to risk speaking. She looked so peaceful, he didn't have the heart to wake her when she seemed to be happily dreaming. Was it too much to hope that she was dreaming of him?

"Her father is coming, you need to disappear." Ruby continued from the door. She bit her lip and glanced behind her back nervously.

"Thank you, I'll make myself sparse," Killian whispered, leaning away from Emma. Ruby nodded and after sending them a concerned expression, disappeared. He gently began to slide from Emma, lifting her hand that rested on his chest, but she was having none of that. She gripped his shirt tighter and buried her head in his neck.

Killian chuckled softly. How was a creature as perfect as her allowed to be in existence. He considered staying and letting her father kill him, but he wanted more days like that one. He brushed her hair behind her ear and forced himself to try and move away. Charming would murder him if he found his daughter sleeping with a pirate. Killian rather liked being alive, though staying was looking more and more appealing.

"Emma, love, I have to go," He murmured into her ear, prying her hand from his shirt.

"No," she refused, burrowing her head deeper into his neck. Her warm breathe tickled his neck. Killian stared up at the ceiling. It wasn't fair. 

"But your father is coming," Killian warned. Emma's head shot up in surprise. She rubbed at her bleary eyes, trying focus them.

"You will come back," Emma ordered groggily. God he loved her how her voice sounded after waking up. Killian wasn't a godly man but he prayed that he would get to hear that again. Many times.

"I promise," Killian assured her, placing a kiss on her brow. "But I have to go if I want to live to see tomorrow." Emma thankfully released him and Killian stood without too much temptation to stay. He tugged on his coat and boots as Emma stared up at him tiredly from her bed. He hated Charming for making him leave her.

"Come back tonight," Emma finally said. Hook nodded and strode over to the balcony. With one last glance at Emma, lying in bed watching him go, Killian lowered himself down the trellis, careful of his hook. There was only one explanation for the way it hurt more, each step he took away from Emma.

Yes, he was most definitely in love.

\-----

"We have a problem, Captain." Smee said nervously as he paced the deck. Hook stood a way off, leaning against the edge of his ship, watching the waves slap against the Jolly Roger.

"Spit it out then," he ordered.

"Well," Smee stuttered, "It would seem that the king is aware of our presence." Hook spun around shocked.

"How? I told you not to dock!" Killian near shouted. He could hardly hold his temper when his time with Emma was in jeopardy.

"We didn't Captain, but there are rumors that the king is suspicious. He has been asking around for you," Smee explained, removing his hat so he could rub his head.

Killian took to pacing while Smee stood in place, hat in his hand. The king could not know of his arrival. Charming would make him leave or kill him. Killian had only just seen Emma. They'd barely had any time together at all. He still wanted to talk to her about everything, learn everything about her. He wanted her to know everything about him, including his past.

It was silly for him to imagine a future for them, but he had. He'd gotten comfortable holding Emma as she slept and Hook wanted so much more. He doubted Emma thought like that, but he wanted to make her have those thoughts eventually. And her father would make that substantially harder. Especially when he was sure her father had significant sway over her happiness. 

Emma wouldn't be able to convince her father to let her marry a pirate unless Killian could make her fall in love with him at the very least. Hook had entertained the idea of taking her away, but he knew Emma would miss her parents and her home. While they could take trips, it wasn't a permanent solution. He needed more time if he wanted to make her happy in the long run. 

"You will have to leave with the crew," Killian decided. "Make a show of it so he thinks I've left too."

"But what will you do, Captain?" Smee asked, putting his cap back on.

"I have no bloody idea."

\-----

James sat in his throne staring at the ceiling waiting for Snow to arrive. He'd heard alarming news along the grapevine and all he wanted was for one person to tell him he was acting crazy. There was no way that Captain Hook would return to the place he was being searched for so that he could be hanged. No man would linger where he was being hunted. 

It was ridiculous.

But James couldn't get the idea from his mind. The villagers who had said they's seen him had sounded so sure. And James remembered how Emma had been crushed by the idea of Jones hanging. The pirate hadn't thrown Emma under the bus. During his mock trial, they hadn't looked at anything but each other. He hadn't thought much of it at the time, but after the escape, James was unsure.

James just felt like Hook would be back for his daughter. Pirates were a persistent bunch. He didn't know if Emma would go with him willingly and he didn't care. James just wanted his family to be safe from pirates once and for all. He tended to be overprotective and he didn't want to ruin the relationship he and Emma were building. But how could he let a pirate come in and steal his daughter. She didn't know any better. 

James stood abruptly. It wouldn't be wrong for him to just stop by Emma's quarters and make sure she was alright. Snow couldn't scold him and Emma would hardly be angry. He would just be checking in after a long day working in the sun. Any good father would do the same for their daughters. He casually strolled down the corridors towards his daughter's chambers.

He didn't expect to see Ruby. She was standing directly outside Emma's door, leaning against the wood. This didn't help James' suspicions at all. She and Emma hadn't been speaking for the past few months. It was unlikely that today was the day they coincidentally made up. The same day Killian was spotted in town. James sped up his pace trying not to look so nervous.

"Everything alright, Ruby?" He asked nonchalantly as he approached. Red nodded like she'd been expecting him.

"Yes, your highness," She said hastily.

"Of coarse," James said, narrowing his eyes. "I was just going to see Emma,"

"Good, I was just leaving," She stated, rushing past him.

She seemed more than a little off. James frowned at the encounter. Ruby had always kept things short, and anyways, she wasn't the one he wasn't the one he was worried about. But she was a red flag. He thought maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was a free spirit. She didn't handle authority well. With a sigh he opened Emma's door just a crack.

"Emma!" James called softly, pushing open the door. Emma was sitting up in her bed, looking like she'd just taken a nap. James couldn't help but smile. His daughter was perfect. He was wrong to be suspicious of her. Visiting Killian in jail had just been a lapse in judgement and he'd fixed the problem. "I just wanted to check on you," he said, cheerfully. Not at all like a suspicious parent.

"I'm okay," she murmured, rubbing her eyes. Emma had done that when she was younger too.

"Then I guess I'll just leave you to rest," James responded cheerfully.

But as James was backing out of her room, he noticed something on the floor. It was small, but he'd recognized it. The silver ring was one that Jones had worn. And it was in Emma's room. On her floor. Right there. He knew if he brought it up it would only make Emma defensive. She wouldn't end up telling him a thing. So he smiled and closed the door behind him.

He was sure Hook was around, he just need to catch the son of a bitch.


	8. What If

Hook watched the Jolly Roger sail off into the sunset from an alley close to the docks. He'd wanted to see her off from the docks, but he knew how easily he would be spotted. He felt a deep sadness, watching it leave without him. But there was a stronger sense of joy when he though of what he was gaining: The possibility of happiness with Emma. It would be worth it in the long run.

Even if Smee was the one handling Killian's ship, feeling the breeze against his face, tasting the salty mist on his lips, Hook could handle that. He knew that he would return, if only for a while. And when he did, Emma would be with him. She would be queen one day, but before that, Hook was determined to show her his life.

He knew she would love it.

The Jolly Roger sailed on until it was a speck on the horizon. Hook didn't leave until he couldn't make out his ship at all. Then he turned away from the sea and sank into the shadows. He couldn't risk being spotted.

\-----

James was very confused, and that wasn't a feeling he enjoyed. The king was used to knowing everything about everything in his kingdom and not even Snow could help. James paced the floor of his bed chambers as Snow sat on their bed patiently. She was trying to help him figure it out but they weren't making much progress.The conversation kept going in circles.

"Maybe it wasn't his ring," she repeated.

"It was. I remembered it. The chances are slim it belonged to another." He replied easily.

"Maybe he wasn't there recently." Snow tried again.

"But his ship was seen at the docks. That can be no coincidence."

"The ship has left this afternoon. He is most likely aboard," Snow concluded.

"No he wouldn't just come and go. There is a price on his head. He must have stayed. He came for something." Charming said running a hand through his hair.

"So he stayed," his wife agreed.

"But there is a price on his head. Only a fool would stay." The king contradicted himself the way he'd been doing for the last hour. But he couldn't help himself. He couldn't figure out the pirate's motives and it was driving mad. He wouldn't have any hair left at the end of the week if he continued on his path.

"So he is a fool," Snow was sounding a smidgen resigned, but Charming hardly noticed.

"But a fool couldn't have escaped our palace, a fool couldn't make our daughter lie to us," The king looked up at his wife more distressed than ever.

He was very concerned with a dangerous pirate loose in his kingdom but he was more concerned with how easily his daughter could be influenced by that pirate. Whether or not it was recent, the criminal was in her bed chambers and she told no one. He'd thought their relationship was on the mend. Why hadn't she told anyone? Unless she wanted it to happen. The king groaned and leaned against the wall tiredly.

"Darling, you'll get no where like this. Come and rest, we can figure this out in the morning." Snow gently coaxed him to the bed. Charming allowed her. Lately, it seemed his wife was the only person who could calm him. She was like a balm that soothed every part of him.

"You're right," he murmured in resignation. Then he fell back into bed, pulling Snow down with him.

He would figure everything out in the morning.

\-----

Emma had fallen back onto her bed in relief when her father left. Killian had only just made it out before the king had rushed in as if her bedroom was on fire. She couldn't imagine what had gotten him so worked up like that. She'd thought maybe he was suspicious, but there was no way. Killian was so careful, and Emma hadn't given anything away. She hoped.

Once she could no longer hear the sound of her father's footsteps in the corridors, Emma rushed across her room to her sun bathed balcony. She leaned over the edge and searched the ground below for her pirate, but he was no where in sight. The courtyard was empty except for the handful of bored guards who stood in a loose circle probably complaining about the heat, and there were no shadows in the surrounding forest. Emma bit her lip nervously and slipped back into her cool room.

Killian had promised that he would be back so she didn't know why she was worrying, but she was. He was a pirate after all. There were dozens of dangers in her kingdom and any one of them could land him dead or back in the dungeon. He could escape again, Emma knew that, but she also knew that there was no way she could have a relationship with a man who continually landed himself in jail.

She plopped back down on her bed in surprise at the thought. Did she want a relationship? With a pirate? She'd thought about it briefly before but then he'd been so distracting. Emma smiled at the memory of his lips against hers, his hand on her thigh. Killian knew what he was doing. But he was a pirate. A pirate who frequently stayed in jail cells. A pirate who her mother and father seemed to hate. A pirate who she could never be with unless she changed their minds.

But Emma wasn't even sure she wanted to be with Killian long term. She had feelings for him, but those were questionable at best. There was no guarantee that her feelings stemmed from anything but attraction. And if they did, Killian came from a different world. There was a chance that if she did enter a relationship with him, it wouldn't last once they got past skin deep. Emma was in no mood to have her heart broken or her hopes dashed.

She sighed and fell back, bouncing slightly on her mattress. But Emma didn't want to end it before it got serious. She already fancied the pirate and she could hardly send him away. Especially with the way he was making her feel. She didn't trust the feelings she had when he was around, but she had butterflies in her stomach at the though of Killian. Surely that wasn't just the lust speaking.

And if it could turn into something more, Emma wanted to try. She was the one who had wanted an adventure, she'd wanted to find love. She just needed to fight for it. All she would have to do was convince her father to have an open mind. It was a near impossible task, but she was his daughter after all. He had to take her happiness into consideration. Emma reassured herself with the fact that her parents had been making more of an effort to make her happy. It wouldn't be making much more of a leap to let her be with a wanted man. She hoped.

Emma felt herself relax, and her eyes slid closed as the sun set. She knew she had a lot to consider and even more to talk about with Killian and her parents, but she would take care of it all in the morning. Besides, nothing was for sure. She just wanted to dream.

\-----

Early the next morning, the door to her bedroom burst open and Ruby strutted in with a new gown. She was beaming in the simple, white thing. Emma actually couldn't remember the last time she had seen her friend in something so feminine. There were frills along the hem and sleeves that stopped at her elbows, a deep neckline that just showed of her assets, and bows along the bodice. Her hair was tied back with a ribbon. And she looked more uncomfortable than Emma had ever seen her.

She rubbed her eyes and tried to clear her bleary vision. Emma really needed a lock on her bedroom, because people in the castle didn't seem to be able to knock. It was really getting in the way of her sleep, and it seemed liked it would get in the way of other things when Killian returned. But she stood anyways and examined her friend. She ignored the oatmeal that sat on a tray beside her bed. She wasn't all that hungry anyways.

"You look lovely, what is the occasion?" Emma asked in surprise as she stood and circled her friend. Red had never looked better.

"Oh, well, I was thinking we could take a stroll outside, maybe go through the courtyard," Red suggested airily as she flushed pink. She clearly had her reasons.

"Of coarse, I wanted to ask you for advice any how," Emma said, trying to hide her grin. Red was not the most subtle lady.

Her friend beamed waited, rather impatiently, as Emma changed out of her dress. She couldn't possibly wear that casual thing while Ruby looked so proper. She slipped on a an equally pretty light blue gown that would suit the heat. Emma tied up her tresses with a leather thong, although a few strands came loose. As Ruby laced her up, she couldn't help but be grateful that her friend was present. Ruby could give her helpful advice for her little problem and she was sure her friend would have plenty of questions about Killian. After donning slippers, Emma lead the way outside.

"So what brought on your sudden change in attire?" Emma asked as they maneuvered the long, winding corridors. Ruby subtly tugged at her sleeves, her gown, her hair, as though she was covered in bugs.

"Well, I may have overheard Graham speaking with a friend of his and he mentioned that he'd never seen me in a gown before. I couldn't help but notice his tone," Ruby said looking away. Emma understood immediately. She placed a comforting hand on Ruby's arm.

"He loves you, no matter what you wear. But he has never seen you in a gown, so it isn't hard to see why he would be curious. You look absolutely stunning." Emma complimented her. They smiled at each other and as they stepped out into the courtyard. "So why did you wish to take a stroll along the courtyard? I was under the impression the Huntsman was away," Emma said.

She relaxed as the sun warmed her skin. It felt divine. She promised herself she would never take being able to go outside for granted. The number of guards in the courtyard had dwindled to only a few. They all nodded to the princess and her company respectfully, then returned to their conversation. They were telling stories about their children and she was grateful that they no longer stopped talking when she appeared. Her father was loosening his grip.

"He was but he returned this afternoon." Ruby stated, barely able to hold back her excited grin. Emma couldn't help but be a little jealous of her. She could be open about the man she cared for.

Emma and Ruby stopped at the north side of the courtyard, just a few yards from the front gate. A guard came forward and offered them a blanket when he noticed them lingering, so they could sit while waiting. It was unheard of for a princess to stand for so long, almost cruel. Emma sometimes hated protocol. The guard carefully arranged it in a patch of grass under a tree, then retreated once they'd thanked him. Ruby smiled widely at Emma once he was out of sight. She had always enjoyed being waited on after weeks in the forest.

"Since we've a while to wait, I'd like your advice on a matter," Emma said delicately, folding her legs under her skirt and paying too much attention to the blanket.

"Shoot," Ruby said, searching the gates for her beu.

"It would seem that I have feelings for a certain pirate and I was wondering if you could advise me on how to proceed," she continued. Emma plucked a strand of grass from the ground and shredded it. She didn't want to see the disapproval on Ruby's face.

"Would these feelings, by any chance, be love?" She asked, suddenly giving Emma her full attention.

"Well how should I know, It isn't as though I have experience with this matter. How do I know it isn't just lust, or some silly infatuation?" Emma exclaimed. She peeked up at Ruby with pleading eyes. She just wanted someone to tell her if it was normal, what she was feeling.

"Emma, you're a tad bit old for infatuations," Ruby teased. "But just because you have no experience, doesn't mean you don't know. I knew I loved Graham and he loved me right away, and I had no idea what love was before him. Now I can't imagine a life without him." She said dreamily.

Emma tried to imagine a life without Killian and it was quite easy. By her 25th birthday, she would have to be married to a prince or a lord or a duke whom she would not be in love with. He would be fat and rude and expect things of her. She would be queen but she would share a bed with a king she would grow to resent over the years. She would have to have children, she needed an heir. She would love them dearly, but they would not be enough to make her truly happy and she would never know if what she and Killian had was true love.

A faint breeze ruffled Emma's hair and brought her out of her miserable life. With a sigh she looked over at Ruby who was watching her closely. Emma had the faint idea that Ruby knew more than she herself did and it was unnerving. She cleared her throat and let her hair loose, letting the wind play with it. "It would be a terrible life." Emma said to the wind. She saw Ruby nod out of the corner of her eye.

"So the question isn't whether you love him, it's how you're going to convince you're parents of him," Ruby decided aloud, adjusting the ribbon in her hair after a particularly strong breeze. Emma nodded, choosing to ignore that bit about love. She wasn't ready to admit that. She just knew she wanted Killian.

"How will I convince them? After all, he is a wanted man," Emma conceded, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger.

"I'll think of something. Granny says I have a way with people." Ruby explained. But then she turned her body completely toward Emma and dropped her voice to a whisper. Emma could tell when Ruby wanted to gossip. 

"So let's get to more important things. Is our little pirate a satisfactory kisser?" Emma blushed and looked away. But she was glad for the change of subject. There was one more thing she had been thinking about that she wasn't sure she wanted to bring up with Red.

Leaving.

She had gotten everything she wanted. Emma had been trained to take care of herself by the best, she found a man who made her heart skip a beat, and she had her best friend back. But she was still lacking in one area. She wanted to go out into the world and have an adventure. She would return but she needed time to prove to herself that she could do anything. Then she could settle and be a happy queen for the rest of her days. And she knew with only a word Killian would take her away on his ship.

"I would imagine he is the product of very much practice," She finally admitted. Red giggled softly and leaned her head closer.

"I believe he's making up for the hand thing," Red got out before collapsing in a fit of laughter.

"Ruby!" Emma whisper shouted at her. She had absolutely no filter. Emma was about to scold her when another called her friend's name.

The huntsman stood a way off on the road just outside the gate. He must have recognized Ruby's laughter, because it couldn't have been her outfit. Ruby shot up with a grin on her face and straightened her dress. Both Graham and Ruby hurried towards each other, one ignoring Emma, the other ignoring the cart and hunters behind him. When they were a foot apart, Graham seemed to be speechless. Ruby just look nervous. She wanted him to like her outfit so badly.

"You look lovely," He finally said. And Ruby's face transformed, making room for a dazzling smile. He offered her his arm and she slipped hers through it. After looking back at Emma and winking, the happy couple strolled off into the palace. Probably to catch up. Emma couldn't help but grin. They were so obviously in love. It reminded her a little of how she felt when Killian was around but she banished the thought.

The princess spread out on the blanket and enjoyed the lovely weather until the breeze faded and the heat became uncomfortable. At which time, she folded up the blanket and took it inside. She told herself she was only heading to her bedroom to put the blanket in the linen closet, but deep down Emma knew that was an excuse. She just wanted to see if there was a particular handsome gentleman in her quarters.

There was not.

But the breakfast tray had been removed from beside her bed and replaced with lunch. Emma's stomach growled loudly once the smell hit her. There was turkey and rice and vegetables and an apple. Before half an hour had passed, the tray was empty and Emma was lying on her floor stuffed full. She had plans to practice archery with her mother, so she reluctantly pushed herself up and stumbled to her wardrobe where she had extra trousers.

\-----

Snow watched her daughter critically as she handled her bow and arrow. She'd decided that morning that Emma was advanced enough to begin using real arrows. But Snow was going to watch her like a hawk. She felt herself begin to smile when Emma lifted the bow and nocked an arrow. She pulled it taut and Snow fondly remembered when Emma hadn't been strong enough to even attempt that.

"Shoulders back," Snow called to her daughter.

Emma fixed her posture immediately and aimed for the target nailed to a tree 50 yards away. She fired. The arrow hit the outer most ring, but it stuck. Snow knew her daughter wouldn't be happy with it, but Snow was proud. She was proud that Emma was working hard. That her daughter wanted to be able to look after herself just in case. Was proud that Emma was huffing in frustration and pulling out another arrow.

"I've got the next one," Emma replied loudly.

And Snow had to admire her daughter's will. But Snow noticed something different when Emma first arrived for practice that day. Her daughter was changing somehow and Snow couldn't figure out what was causing it. The lessons were making her happier but there was something else changing too. Something deeper and bigger. Snow wanted to ask about it, but she couldn't find the words. She thought maybe it was that Emma was more present, but it was more than that.

She watched Emma closely as her daughter set loose another arrow. She stood tall, shoulders straight, hair billowing behind her. Snow thought she finally looked ready to make her own choices. Maybe that was what had changed. Her daughter was going to start making her own choices and Snow and James would have no say. She thought that very soon there would be trouble. But until then, she would enjoy the peace.

"Emma, dear, take a break," Snow insisted, taking a seat on the blanket that she'd brought with her. It was spread out on the field behind the palace that bordered the woods. Emma came reluctantly, placing her bow on the edge of the blanket.

"You're doing great," She said, placing a strand of Emma's hair behind her ear, once the girl sat down.

"Not good enough," Emma sighed. She gazed off into the tree line and Snow got the impression her daughter wanted to escape.

"So tell me something new," Snow suggested, stretching out her legs before her.

"I think I want to leave here. Just for a while. And go see things. Do you think father would let me go?" Emma asked distractedly. She was watching a little blue bird flit about.

"I think," Snow replied carefully, "that your father could be convinced to accept it." Emma looked at Snow surprised. Snow could easily see why. Emma's father was by no means an easy man and he was set in his ways. It would take convincing to get him to agree.

"Do you truley think you could arrange it?" Emma asked. Excitement was creeping into her expression. She was beginning to hope and Snow didn't want to take that from her.

"I could certainly try. But what brought on this desire?" Snow wondered aloud. Emma blushed and looked away. Snow couldn't think of a reason she would.

"I recently got a taste of freedom and I want more." Emma admitted. Snow nodded and took her hand. After 18 years of being locked inside, the lessons Emma was receiving would be very much like freedom.

"I'll do everything I can to help," Emma smiled at Snow brightly and she was sure she'd never felt closer to her daughter.

They both sat for a while longer just relaxing in the sun, but soon Emma grew restless and wanted to keep practicing. Snow gave her critiques when they were necessary but they weren't often. When Emma hit the spot three rings from the center, she told Emma to stop for the day. She wouldn't improve by trying all day long. Snow knew that from experience. Emma would have to learn for herself.

Once her daughter was out of sight, Snow felt her joy fade. She was ecstatic that Emma had confided in her, asked for her help. It was proof that their relationship was growing. But she was worried about what it would mean. Her daughter wanted to leave the safety of the castle and that would not bode well with James. He would put up a fight. He could flat out refuse and damage the relationship that they had worked so hard to build.

With a sigh, Snow stood and brushed off her trousers. She had been right, trouble was coming.

\-----

The woman strolled down the sketchy alley confidently. Her heels echoed loudly on the cobble stones. Her sleek black dress clung to her and hid her in the night. But there was nothing that she felt the need to truly hide from. It was not a friendly area that she was in but she didn't feel that her safety was at risk. Her dark attire had more to do with her preference for going unnoticed in case of situations like the one she was currently in.

She strode purposefully around the passed out men and broken glass that littered the street. It was so late into the night that not even the drunkards were out causing problems. She smiled to herself. Her planning was perfect as always. The moon illuminated the main road and the woman stepped onto it without checking for pursuers. Even if someone did notice her, she would escape easily. Her abilities were many and they were honed for her business.

She stopped at an intersection and took in her surroundings. It had been several years since she had been there. She went by memory and took several seemingly random turns. It lead her to the palace where King James and Queen Snow resided. It was also where her target lived. They would rue the day they decided to write her off as a threat. She was without magic, but they would soon learn that magic was not the only thing she excelled at.

The woman smiled once more to herself and began the trek towards the castle.


	9. Anchor

One week later  
\-------------

"Absolutely not!" James shouted, throwing up his hands. Their meeting had just ended and Snow was glad she had waited until the council was gone to spring the news on him. He would have hated for them to see him in such a temper. She should have anticipated his reaction but she had hoped that the hints she'd been dropping the last few days about Emma being self-reliant and needing space would have prepared him.

They had not.

"It would only be for a short time," Snow argued stepping down from the platform where they had both been sitting on their thrones moments ago. Her husband was already in the center of the room. He spun around at her rebuttal.

"It only takes a moment to die!" His face twisted up in pain and Snow wished she didn't have to put him through it. He'd been through so much already. But Emma deserved a chance.

"We've taught her how to defend herself, take care of herself. There is no better time for her to venture out!" Snow insisted, stepping forward. James took a few steps back, raising his arms in defense.

"She's too young, I can't lose her yet," Her husband said softly. He dropped his arms and turned around. "You have to know that when she returns, it will not be alone."

Snow stopped in her tracks at the mere suggestion. It hadn't occurred to her that eventually Emma would find a man who would love her for the rest of her days. Of coarse if she left, she would be much more likely to find him. And Emma was already in her twentieth year, so she must have considered at least briefly as well. Snow was sure that her daughter intended to find her true love.

She smiled sadly to herself. It was bound to happen eventually. As sad as it was to think about losing her daughter, Snow was not going to keep her from her destiny. She looked up at her husband and closed the distance between them. He was as scared as she was about the whole ordeal, she just hid it better. But Emma deserved to have what they had. She deserved to find a love like theirs.

"Don't you want her to have this?" Snow asked, placing a hand over her husband's heart. The anger had completely left his face. Only worry remained in the form of deep lines.

"Of coarse, everyone deserves this, but what if he can't protect her?" He placed a hand over Snow's and she felt her muscles loosen. James was not an impossible man.

"We'll have to trust him." Snow assured him. "But we have to let her go." James tensed as if he'd forgotten what they'd been talking about. She'd spoken too soon.

"I can't," He admitted after several long moments. Snow sighed and pulled away.

"Then she will leave without our blessing." Snow knew it was true the moment the words left her lips. Emma was bolder, even though she tried to hide it. She would leave when the next opportunity presented itself. And she would do it whether her parents agreed or not. This worried Snow. Her daughter was a capable young woman but terrible things could still happen to a beautiful woman traveling alone.

"She wouldn't." James stated surely.

"Yes, because she's never lied to us before," Snow said dryly, turning away from James. But not before she saw a look of horror flash across his face.

Snow thought maybe she'd crossed a line, but her husband didn't look at her. His gaze was unfocused and fixed behind her head. She assumed he was thinking of the pirate who had caused the discord. Emma trusting Hook had hurt her father more than he had let on. Snow was less affected. She was aware of what a pretty face could do. Especially to a girl who had such little exposure to handsome men.

Snow suddenly felt herself doubting bringing it up so soon. Clearly James hadn't recovered yet. He would need more time before he would trust Emma again. And Emma had been noticeably happier over the last week. Well happy was an understatement. She had been radiant. All week she'd been smiling and cheerful even when she missed a shot. Snow had figured that Emma was excited about leaving.

Snow had been so open to the idea and she was sure Emma thought Snow would convince her father. Snow wouldn't tell her daughter about the failure. But she would tell her daughter she was working on it. They would have plenty of time before Emma would decide to take matters into her own hands and sneak away. Snow was sure. At the moment, she just needed to worry about her husband. She turned to him but he was already turning away.

"I need to check on something," James said absentmindedly, rushing out.

Snow moved to follow her husband, but a guard rushed through the doors that he disappeared through. He seemed to have something pressing to tell her and Snow figured that her husband could take care of himself. Besides, the man before her was gasping from having run so far, she presumed, and he looked up at her as though he had killed her child. It was not at all helping her relax.

"Your highness, I have distressing news," he got out between breaths as he bowed.

"Out with it," she demanded not unkindly.

"The princess is gone."

-Earlier that morning.-

Killian had absolutely brilliant timing. He had appeared shortly after her lessons with her mother. Emma had just finished changing out of her training clothes and into a modest gown. She stepped out of her dressing room and into her bedroom to find him leaning against her balcony as though he belonged. The pirate could not be more out of place but Emma felt herself hoping that one day he would belong.

While she hadn't expected him at that moment, she was glad that he had appeared. Emma had been working on what she wanted to say to him all day and she didn't want to beat around the bush, she wanted to get it over with. After speaking with her mother and best friend, after sneaking around for the past week, she knew that her feelings were real and she needed to know if she could trust the pirate with her heart before it was too late.

She brushed away the thought that it was already too late. 

The last week had been almost too good to be true. She'd woken, gone to practice with her parents each day, then spent ridiculous amounts of time with Killian. Kissing, talking, convincing Ruby he wasn't so horrid. And he'd begun spending the nights with her just a few days ago. It was so amazing falling asleep in his arms and waking to his bleary grin. Emma thought she wouldn't be able to get a good night's sleep without him. But she shook the lovestruck thoughts from her mind. She had something important to get out.

Killian didn't move from the wall he was leaning against when Emma sat on her bed. His eyes slowly skimmed over her and she didn’t know whether she was supposed to feel uncomfortable or filled with warmth. It was the latter. But Emma didn’t invite him to sit, or approach him. 

"I expected a warmer welcome, love," He complained, deciding to join her. Emma kept a large distance between them and it didn't go unnoticed by Killian. The nervousness in his eyes kept her from hesitating.

"How do you feel about me, Killian? What are your intentions?" Emma asked bluntly, ripping off the bandage. She had to fight not to reach out when he flinched. She imagined not many had made the infamous Captain Hook flinch.

"Well I had intended to make this substantially more romantic, but if you insist, I shall bare my soul to you My Lady." Hook stood and knelt before her, taking her hand and folding his other arm behind his back like a gentleman. "My intentions are to ruin all other men for you, the way you have ruined all other women for me. I am going to woo you Miss Swan, so that you might feel the same way I feel about you."

Emma smiled and pressed her lips to his. She didn't know how he did it but Killian always seemed to have the perfect answer. She pulled away just before he could deepen the kiss. Pressing their foreheads together, Emma grabbed Killian's hand and intertwined their fingers. She wanted to bask in that moment for a bit, because she knew it would only get harder once she decided she wanted to go for it. 

"Would you like to know how I know you're a true pirate?" Emma asked softly.

"Tell me," Killian replied just as quietly but he was staring at their intertwined fingers.

"You have this way of charming ladies that would be unbecoming of any gentleman." She teased, relaxing. He noticed and stood, taking a seat far closer than he'd been sitting before. Emma acutely noticed how their thighs were pressed together.

"Well I promise that you shall be the last lady I ever charm." Killian vowed.

Emma watched him, trying to uncover any trace of dishonesty. He seemed so sincere. He always seemed so sincere and she couldn't understand how that was possible. He was a pirate. But that wasn't all he was. She just couldn't get her feelings to stay still. Emma believed him when he told her how he felt, but she didn't know how long he would be so sincere about his feelings for her.

Emma was starting to feel as if she didn't care though. He was sincere in his affections for her, and she felt the same way. She wanted to enjoy it, and if it didn't last, at least she got the adventure she'd always wanted. There was nothing more adventurous than developing feelings for a pirate, then running away with him on his ship. Because she did want to go away with him. The more time she spent with him, the more sure of it she was.

She knew her father would send people to find her, even though her mother would disapprove and try to talk him out of it. But she didn't care. Killian made her happy, and she knew that he would continue to do that if they left. He seemed to be that kind of man, and if he weren't a pirate, her father probably would have loved him. 

And it wasn't as though she was leaving forever. Emma intended to rule, and she would be a good ruler. She just needed some time to go off and be her own woman. Killian would be there, but she knew even with him, there were no guarantees that she would remain unscathed. Not like if she stayed in the castle. Nothing passed the gate, guards, and king, unless it was approved. And the safety net had kept her alive, but she wanted something different.

“Good,” She said. “Now I do believe that i could use a walk," Emma suggested, glancing out her balcony purposefully. 

"Emma, if you want to get me somewhere we won't be interrupted, all you have to do is say so," Killian said with a lifted eyebrow. But he stood and offered her his hand. 

"Oh I can't go out in this thing. I'm going to change into pants. You can wait outside," Emma stated as she headed for her dressing room. As she was unlacing her gown, she finally heard steps move towards the balcony. It took her no time at all to find a breezy shirt and riding pants. Then she was vaulting over the ledge and easily climbing down the trellis, the way she'd done hundreds of times. Killian stood a way off when Emma landed in the grass with a soft thump.

"You look like you're practiced at that. Should I be worried?" He asked as he waited for her to join him on the edge of the woods.

"Absolutely," Emma replied with a wicked grin. It left Killian with a small smile she adored. 

As a treat she pulled the leather strip from her hair and let her braid loose. She rarely let her hair free because of the ridiculous amount of attention it attracted but they were alone and she knew Killian would love it. It fell in thick waves down her back and she took more than a little pleasure in the way he stared. His attention was welcome any day. The second she got close, he let his hand hand wander through her golden tresses. Her eye lids drooped. It felt surprisingly good, almost like a massage.

The sun was shinning and there was a cool breeze ruffling their hair, ghosting over their skin. Emma couldn't recall a time when she was happier. Against her better judgement, Emma took Killian's hand and lead him between the trees to her clearing. Well she supposed it wasn't just her clearing. Baelfire had been going to it far longer than she had. But Emma always referred to it as her clearing and he'd never argued. 

She knew that there was always a chance Baelfire could be there, but it was so unlikely. They hadn't met in months. Emma knew she wasn't the only thing that brought him to the clearing. He worked hard and spent most of his free time locked away in his home, so when he could, he loved to sneak away and enjoy nature. It was what they had first bonded over. Emma missed him sometimes, but she knew things would never go back to the way they were.

There was simply no way he would be there.

"Where may I ask are you taking me?" Killian asked as he stumbled over yet another tree root. It seemed that his affinity for sailing left him with terrible land legs. He couldn't begin to maneuver through the forest the way Emma did and he knew it. 

"I'm going to kill you and bury the body," Emma teased, focusing on the forest floor. 

"Well I have no complaints. I'll die pretty and my last sight will be of a beautiful woman." Emma snorted at his dramatics. Then she spotted the area where the trees grew sparse and picked up her pace. 

"It's just up ahead." She promised. 

Then before they knew it, the couple stepped into a large grassy area. There were tiny blue flowers scattered through out the grass and birds could be heard chirping and going about their days. On the edge of the clearing, opposite to them, was the beginnings of a spring, that started as little more than a trickle. Emma breathed it all in and spun until she lost her balance, falling to the ground. Hook watched on holding in a laugh.

"Some gentleman," she complained, though she made no move to get up or even hide her smile. "Not even feigning concern for me."

"Emma, love, we both know you are far from a delicate flower, and I am far from a gentleman," Killian said as he took a seat beside her and twirled the end of her hair. "Though you are far more beautiful than any flower I've ever seen." Emma looked up in his blue eyes and suddenly her smile was gone. They were staring at her so intensely. She knew without a doubt he meant every word. She leaned up and softly kissed him. Just as he slipped an arm around her waist, she sprung from his arms. 

"Oh, I could hardly make it that easy for you," Emma called with a giggle. "No matter how much you compliment me." Killian gazed after her in shock, before a devilish grin appeared on his face. He stood slowly brushing himself off. 

"Are you forgetting that I am a pirate? You should be worried about what will happen when I catch you. We can't all be proper," he warned, circling her. Emma placed her hands behind her back, completely unperturbed. 

"Well I think you're all talk. Falling for a princess has made you soft." She baited, never taking his eyes off of him. Killian looked ready to pounce and Emma had to admit the look in his eyes was thrilling. 

"Aye, you may be right, but you're forgetting how driven pirates can be," Killian growled before pouncing. 

Emma had only been training with her father for three months, and Killian had a life time of muscles, so the princess didn't expect the chase to last very long. But she didn't expect it to be so short either. She'd only managed to dodge Killian twice before he tackled her to the ground. Her disappointment was helped when she realized how closely he was hovering above her. She would deal with the twigs in her hair later. 

"Hi," Emma whispered. Hook looked down at her with such bright eyes that she was speechless. 

"Hello," he replied letting their foreheads meet.

They shared a number of lazy kisses before Killian rolled off of her. They laid side by side facing each other, Killian twirling her hair, Emma taking in every detail of the man beside her. She didn't know why, but with him, she felt like every moment was precious and Emma want to waste a second. In case this was a passing fancy, though she was thinking more and more that it wasn't, Emma wanted to remember all of it. 

So she memorized the way Killian's hair was perfectly tousled. She took in his strong jaw, covered in a fuzz that she loved to feel when she kissed him. His eyes were a bluer than the sky, and twice as beautiful. His smile was so genuine when it appeared. She loved the way his vest dipped low, revealing a slice of his chest. And Emma couldn't wait until she could start memorizing all of the parts of him that his clothing covered.

"I believe it's your turn to tell me a story," Killian suggested, still fascinated by her hair. Emma obliged. There were so many stories she could tell him, but most of them were uninteresting. Why would he be interested in what she'd gone through when none of it could compare to his life?

"When I was younger, maybe in my sixth or seventh year, I started to feel like I was suffocating in that castle. Or that's how Ruby put it. So after my lessons, I decided to go explore without telling anyone. At first I was happy wandering the halls I wasn't supposed to go in, but they all looked the same and I got bored. So I went up in the dungeon because I'd never been in that tower before. 

I don't quite remember how I did it, but I got locked in the gate behind me and was stuck. Except I hadn't cared. I sat down on the bench and took a nap because I knew eventually someone would come find me. I was the princess after all. Sure enough, I woke up an hour later, to my father yelling at a guard to hurry up and open the gate. He was so worried when he finally got me out, but the next day, I was exploring again." Emma smiled at the memory. It was soon after that her father began putting guards at her door. 

"Tell me more," Killian said the second she finished. He didn't miss a beat and it warmed her better than the sun.

Emma let out a soft laugh and began telling Killian everything that came to mind. She told him about how she and Ruby first met. They'd both been 5 and trying to sneak desert from the kitchen. She told him how much time she used to spend with her parents. She briefly mentioned Baelfire, though she didn't mention the clearing. He was already frowning at the thought of another suitor. 

Then Killian told her about growing up on the ship. How his crew was his family, especially after his father left. He told her how he'd leaned how to swim, and he'd teach Emma one day. He described what it was like to watch the sky change from day to night while lying on the deck. Emma enjoyed that the most. She couldn't wait until she got to see it for herself. And she definitely would, someday very soon. 

Then they talked about everything in between. Emma didn't even suggest leaving until both of their stomachs started growling. 

\-----

Baelfire had gotten off the farm early that day. He had a while before his father was expecting him home, so he decided to go for a walk. And maybe stop by the clearing to see if Emma was there. He'd been stopping by a lot lately for that. She hadn't been there yet since he'd tried to take their relationship to the next level. But he didn't regret it. He couldn't hide his feelings from her. And he believed that one day she would come around. 

When he got to the clearing, he slowed his steps. There was someone there. He felt excitement build. Maybe Emma was there, waiting for him, ready to accept him. He caught sight of brown boots, then riding pants, then a loose shirt, then Emma's face. She was lying on her back, hair spread around her like an angel. He couldn't look away. She'd never let her hair down around him before. 

But just as he was about to make his presence known, he spotted a second person. It was a man, about their age, and he was lying on his stomach beside her, playing with her hair. He was allowed to touch it? He was wearing a ridiculous amount of black leather and Baelfire was sure Emma wouldn't be interested in a man like that. He had to be a relative, the boy reasoned. 

But then the man leaned over and placed a slow kiss on Emma's lips. 

He couldn't figure out which feeling was stronger. Baelfire was angry. She had brought that man to their clearing. She was kissing him in their clearing and she was enjoying it from what he could see. But that bleed into jealousy. She was kissing that man instead of him. She was letting him lie close to her and play with her hair. What did he have that Baelfire didn't? Better skill with eyeliner? 

He stepped back and punched a tree. He scraped his knuckle but couldn't bring himself to care. How could she do that to him?

\-----

Emma and Killian laughed as they made there way through the forest. He pressed her against the nearest tree, kissing her fiercely. Emma laughed and pulled away before turning on him and doing the same. They chased each other the whole way back, laughing, kissing, holding hands. Emma couldn't believe herself. She was acting like she was in love, but she couldn't stop. Killian just did that to her. 

When they got back to her balcony, he insisted she go first. Emma climbed the trellis quickly, a ridiculous smile plastered on her face. She'd probably just had the best day of her life. But when her feet landed safely on her balcony, she heard a clearing throat behind her. Emma turned slowly. Her parents and a half a dozen guards were standing in her bedroom staring at her. 

She slipped her hand behind her back and over the edge of the balcony, motioning for Killian to stay, or stop, or run. She didn't know what. All she knew was that her parents would murder her if they found out where she had been, and who she'd been with. To her knowledge, they didn't even know he'd returned. She sent up a prayer that they didn't find out until she left with him. 

"Mom! Dad!" Emma said loudly, just in case Killian hadn't gotten the hint. "What are you doing here? With all of these guards...." She asked, feeling her anxiety grow. She couldn't think of a single reason why they would all be in her room with angry expressions. Unless it had to do with Killian. 

"Thank God, Emma we thought you'd been kidnapped! Where were you?" Snow asked as she rushed at Emma and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. 

"I'm sorry to have made you worry, I just wanted to go for a walk in the forest." Emma wheezed. Snow seemed to believe her. Her mother waved a hand at the guards and there was obvious relief on her face when she pulled away. But her father still looked angry. His forehead was crinkled and his arms were crossed. 

"Why didn't you tell us you were going?" He asked stiffly. Snow hurried to his side and rested a hand on his arm, but it didn't calm him like it usually did. Emma was in trouble.

"I just needed alone time. I didn't think I would be gone so long." Emma explained, inching closer to her father. "I'm sorry Dad, it won't happen again." His face started to crumble, but he composed himself just as quickly as he wavered. 

With a nod, he dragged Snow out of her quarters. Emma listened nervously. She faintly heard her father station guards at her door and that was when she knew it was over. He was suspicious and she was never leaving her room again. Once she head all of their footsteps recede, she hurried to her balcony. Killian sat with his back against the castle wall. He looked up just as she was wondering how to get his attention. 

He must have seen the worry on her face, because he jumped to his feet and immediately began climbing the trellis.

\-----

Snow sat completely at ease on her throne as her husband paced. She was finding herself in the position more and more recently.She wished James would talk already so they could decide what to do about their daughter. They both knew she was lying to them. It was obvious. But James was convinced that she was sneaking around with that pirate, and Snow just wasn't sure. 

"Let's just lock her down." James stated, pausing and looking up at his wife. He looked so sure, all Snow could do was sigh.

"We can't do that. We've only just begun to build a relationship with Emma." Snow countered.

"But even if she isn't sneaking out with Jones, she's still sneaking out. " James argued, beginning to pace once more. 

"And? We've trained her to take care of herself. Why can't we let her be?" Snow asked, standing and approaching her frantic husband. She knew there was no way she could calm him, but she never stopped trying. 

"She's too young to know about all of the dangers in the world. She isn't ready," James said resolutely. 

"Honey, you're over reacting," Snow tried to reason.

"No, I'm not. She's my only daughter and I'm protecting her. She has no idea what the world holds and I refuse to lose her to it. Case closed." James stormed out and Snow knew that nothing good could come of it. 

Her daughter had snuck away for an afternoon to get a break. They had begun training her and giving her more liberties, but she'd still snuck away. If James tightened his grip on her once more and tried to control Emma, Snow was sure it wouldn't end well. Their daughter would rebel or do something foolish to get herself hurt. Snow had the feeling that she was the only one who saw it coming. 

She just hoped she could change her husband's mind before he forced their daughter to respond drastically.


	10. Of Love And Theft

Ruby opened the nearest door and backed into the room, hoping there wasn't anything on the floor to trip her. She couldn't exactly look with her lips firmly attached to Graham's. She figured it would be worth it to trip over something as long as he never stopped touching her. Besides, she knew he would always catch her when she falls.

He closed the door and they were in darkness. She could feel that it was a small room and counted it as a personal victory. The last thing she'd wanted was to stumble into an occupied one. Then they would have to blush, explain themselves and hurry away. And Ruby couldn't wait through all of that. She'd been waiting all day and she wanted him then.

The only sound was their heavy breathing as he pushed her against a wall and slid his hands up her stomach. "Some one could walk in," he muttered against her throat. His voice was doing strange things to her breathing. She didn't try to hide how breathless she was.

"Then we'd better hurry," Ruby warned him, sliding his coat off of his shoulders. Why was he wearing so much clothing?

It was as she was frantically pulling off her own blouse that she heard the noise. It sounded as though people were shouting. But it was far off. She froze, and so did Graham when he noticed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but she quickly slammed her hand over his pretty little lips. She hoped the look she was giving him would be enough for him to take the hint.

She pressed her ear against the wall and realized who exactly she was spying. Snow and Charming. They argued so sparsely that everyone assumed they never argued at all, but it was getting loud in the throne room. She was tempted to ignore it and get back to the man beside her, but it made her nervous when they mentioned Jones. She was sure that was the name of Emma's pirate.

She still wasn't sure about the man, but she didn't want Emma to be locked in her room until they managed to marry her off. The girl deserved happiness too, even if it was harder to attain because of her status. And from what she'd told Ruby in the courtyard days ago, the pirate made her happy. And Ruby would support Emma as long as she wanted to keep the scoundrel around.

Once the argument was over, Ruby hurriedly fixed herself and pulled her blouse back on. She needed to go talk to Emma before her parents, her father, did something drastic. Graham looked on in confusion as she undid all of the work he'd done. She would definitely have to make it up to him later. She was very good at that.

"I have to go, Emma needs to know something important, but we'll continue this later," she promised, placing a short kiss on his lips and sprinting from the linen closet they'd been hiding in.

\-----

Emma plopped down on her bed, waiting for Killian to make it up the trellis. She could not believe her father had started sending guards to check up on her once more. Her father hadn't done that in months. Which meant he was suspicious. If he didn't already know about Killian, he suspected it, and that did not instill anything short of fear in Emma.

She couldn't lose him after everything. Maybe before he'd been something that she could get over before he'd come back. Eventually she would have forced her self to forget the pirate that she'd only known a few days. But that was no longer the case. She was attached, very attached, and she refused to live the life that she knew she would have without him. She felt her eyes tear up. She'd at least thought that they would have more time.

Killian landed in her bedroom with a thump that made her look up in surprise. He was staring at her with open shock. He'd never seen her cry. Then there was the worry. Then he was sitting beside her, wiping her cheek with his thumb as the the tears fell. Which only made her cry harder, because why did he have to be so perfect? Then he only looked more concerned.

"Emma, what happened?" He asked looking a little frantic.

"My father," Emma murmured, "I think he knows." She thought they'd been careful. God, she was so naive. Her parents knew everything that went on in the castle. She'd been lucky to hide him for so long. He let his hand drop in surprise, but he recovered fairly quickly.

"Emma, love, I don't care if he knows," Killian said softly. "All I care about is you." Emma looked up at him and smiled. Of coarse he cared. He was still sitting beside her. If he would have run, like a sane man, then she would have doubted his affections.

"He'll have you hung," Emma responded bitterly. But Killian didn't seem the least bit worried about that. It made her think of how confident he'd looked during his trial. He thought himself invincible.

"I'd rather be hung than live a life without you." Killian said firmly. "Emma, I love you. And I know that's rash thing to say so soon, but I do, and I want to be with you for a very long time, but that can't happen unless your parents approve."

Emma stared in awe at the pirate sitting beside her who claimed to love her. There was no way though. His eyes begged her to believe him but they'd only known each other for a week or two. How could he fall in love with her so quickly? He proven that he knew her, but wasn't there more to love than just that? He had to know how impossible their life together would be. She looked down at her hands, curled in her lap.

Her father would run him through with a sword if Killian appeared. She didn't even want to think about what he would do if the man confessed he was in love with the princess. He would ask how Killian knew he loved her, and they would have to confess that they'd been sneaking around. Then her father would murder him and lock Emma up for the rest of her life.

But Emma couldn't accept that. It wasn't a future she would allow herself to have. She wasn't going to watch Killian die for her, and she wouldn't make him climb down her balcony and never return. She just wanted to be happy. And she was smart enough to know that in that moment, she needed him to be happy. Because maybe, she loved him too.

Emma met his eyes. They looked so worried she felt terrible for taking so long to deliberate. She wasn't very good at telling people how she felt. She never had been. She was saved, interrupted, by a frantic girl bursting into her quarters. Emma desperately needed a lock. But she pushed away her frustration when she took in Ruby. Her shirt was inside out, her hair was a mess, and she was breathing heavily like she'd sprinted across the castle.

"Emma," she gasped, "Your parents know about him, they intend to lock you in here."

"Thank you, Ruby, but I'm afraid we already knew," Emma said sheepishly. Ruby tossed her head back and made a very unlady like sound.

"Fine, try not to cause too much more trouble. Your father is on the verge of insanity." Ruby advised before hurrying out. "If you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to." Then they were alone.

Emma turned to Killian who was back to looking at her with that concerned face. "He's going to lock you up?" He asked with a wince?

"I love you," Emma blurted out before she could convince herself otherwise. "Let's leave." She stood, pulling a hesitant Killian with her.

"Emma, love, you know I want to, but we need to think this through," He said softly. He almost seemed like he was expecting anger.

"I have! I love you, and not just because you feel the same, or that my father is going temporarily insane. I genuinely want to be with you. I wanted to wait until I was properly trained to leave, well I am now. The timing could not be more perfect." Emma urge him. The more she thought about it, the more it sounded like the perfect idea. Her parents would be upset that she'd left, but when she returned, she could assure them that she would never leave again.

"Are you positive?" Killian asked. The beginnings of hope were visible in his face. All she could do was nod excitedly before he pressed his lips against hers.

The force of his kiss pushed them both back until they were up against the wall. Emma kissed him back as enthusiastically as she could. It wasn't that hard. He was everything she wanted and he could give her what she wanted. When he parted her lips and their hands started to wander, she knew she couldn't live without the feeling he gave her. She felt so alive.

Emma had endured years of monotonous castle life that had blurred together in shades of grey. Killian was color. He brought her out of a rut, and she knew with him, she would never fall in it again. He could actually be her true love. Emma laughed happily into Killian's mouth and he pulled away with the brightest smile she'd seen on him yet. It never occurred to Emma that Killian would want to show her his world so badly. He'd been holding back for her benefit, but he didn't have to anymore, and he looked liberated.

"Emma you are going to adore it, there isn't a feeling like it in the world." He said excitedly pulling her towards the balcony. Emma let him drag her. They both held the same giddy joy. They were going to do it.

Then their stomachs growled.

"We can get a meal first," Killian said without missing a beat. "Have you ever been to a pub?" Emma shook her head. "Oh you are missing out," Killian said as he began to climb over the balcony.

"You pack, I'll be waiting in the clearing." Killian was practically bouncing with excitement. He was just about to lower himself when he jumped back into Emma's room, placing one more kiss on her lips, then climbing down the trellis.

Emma stood perfectly still for all of 10 seconds. She was in complete shock that she was finally doing it. She was going on her own adventure. Then she was bustling around searching for everything she would need. Her travel bag was the first thing she found. She'd never used it before. She packed all of her training clothes, then fastened her sword at her hip. A comb, and a few miscellaneous female things, were thrown in.

She wrote a quick note to Ruby and left it folded on her bed. Emma was going to miss Ruby the most. She just hoped Ruby would be the first to come and check on her. But Emma also set a second note beside it, addressed to her mother and father. They would just have to understand that there was no way around her leaving. They had just sped up the process a bit.

Then Emma saw the necklace on her bedside table.

It was a simple thing. A silver chain with a swan as a charm. She'd been obsessed with them as a child. She'd only ever seen them in picture books, but she'd brought them up in almost every conversation she had. Her father had gotten it for her on her seventh birthday. She used to love it, she wore it constantly until she'd grown old enough to resent how her parents kept her lock up.

She stopped wearing it to spite her father, but Emma couldn't bear the thought of leaving it behind. She loved her father, regardless of the way he acted. She knew he just felt the need to protect her and she wanted to take something of him with her. It only took a moment to slip it over her head. The small charm resting in the center of her chest. It was oddly comforting and familiar.

With a wider grin then she thought possible, Emma rushed to the balcony and dropped her pack down to Killian, who caught it easily. In no time she was beside him hurrying into the woods. It would be a long walk, going all the way around, but it was safer then taking the main road. And with her pirate holding her hand, Emma didn't even feel nervous.

\-----

It was only minutes after she'd left Emma that Ruby realized she'd forgotten something. She had to tell Emma that her father would be placing guards in the forest outside her window, and her pirate would need to be more careful about coming and going. Though from what she'd heard, the man had escaped his cell, and the castle, without making any sort of commotion, so he could probably handle it.

But she would tell Emma anyways.

She hurried back to her friends room and almost barged right in. But he was in there, so there was a chance Emma was having a little fun at the moment. She knocked, probably too loudly, and waited. No response. Maybe she'd sent him away and gone to sleep. It had been a long day. So Ruby opened her door and peeked in. It was empty. She checked Emma's dressing room, but that was empty too.

Where had she gone? She wouldn't have snuck out again with her pirate. Not after she was in so much trouble. Emma was smart enough to know her parents would go mental when they found out she was gone. And if she had left, surely she would have told Ruby, her best friend. The girl plopped down on the bed in frustration. Emma couldn't have just left.

Emma had talked about how bad she'd wanted to leave, but Ruby had never thought she would. She should have expected it after the way Emma's parents freaked out. Ruby heard a crinkle and found two folded up pieces of parchment as she shifted. One had her name on it. Ruby almost tore it up and left. Emma had gone and all she had left her friend was a short note.

Red opened it despite being beyond furious. She wanted an explanation and she was going to get one. Then she was going to pack her things, give the second note to her parents, and sniff out the princess. Emma was not going to abandon her station so easily. She was a princess and she needed to stay in her kingdom. She couldn't just run off and become a pirate. Red wanted her to be happy, but Emma couldn't just leave forever.

 _Dear_ _Ruby,_

_I know I must be a terrible friend for leaving without telling you, but you need to trust me. I only neglected to tell you because I don't  want you to have to lie to my parents. They can't punish you if you didn't know right? Or maybe it was because they pushed me into this and I'm just so excited to finally have my chance, I didn't want to wait any longer._

_Please don't follow me, I know you could if you tried, but I'm asking you as a friend to trust my judgement. I want to do this on my own and my parents can't drag me home like a child this time. I'm a grown woman, and I need to prove to myself that I'm competent. I know you don't trust Killian, but I do, so I'd also appreciate it if you don't tell my parents he's the one who took me away. They're smart, they'll figure it out on their own._

_I love you, and I'll see you soon._

_-Emma_

Ruby stared in shock once she finished the letter. Emma had actually done it. She'd packed her bags and run away with a pirate. They were probably already on his ship, sailing into the sunset. If she was thinking straight, Ruby would have grabbed the second letter, rushed to the throne room, and told Emma's parents everything she knew. They probably would have been able to stop their daughter before she got away. 

But that would have just made Emma miserable. Her parents would locker her up, and never allow her any room to breathe ever again. Ruby couldn't do that to her. Besides, Emma said she would be back soon. So maybe she didn't intend to leave her duties as a princess. Emma had always wanted to rule so there was the large chance she would be back in no time and ready to assume her role.

Ruby stood, not needing to think about it any longer. She fixed Emma's bed, and set the letter to her parents back down on it. Her own letter was tucked away safely in her pocket. After checking the hallway for any witnesses, Ruby hurried to her own quarters. She had to wait a while longer before she could 'discover' that Emma was missing. Then she would play the part of the worried friend. She just hoped that stupid pirate was as reliable as Emma said he was.

\-----

It was well past midnight when Snow slipped from her husbands arms and put on a warm robe. Her slippers were waiting for her by the door. The halls were silent, and she tried to keep it that way as she headed for Emma's quarters. Her husband was going to take drastic measures to keep their daughter safe, and she felt obliged to warn Emma, and apologize for not being able to do more. The only good Snow had done was convince James that dogs were a little too much.

There were no guards by Emma's door and Snow was pleasantly surprised. She'd thought her husband would have worked faster. Maybe he was rethinking things. Emma's room was pitch black. If Snow hadn't had the layout memorized she might have hurt herself. She lit the candle beside Emma's bed, but when she turned to nudge her daughter awake, the bed was empty.

Snow should have been very angry when she realized that her daughter was gone, but she wasn't. She was just sad. She had known this would happen, but she thought she would have more time. Emma was still so young. With a sigh, she stood. She needed to alert the guards and her husband. They would need to figure out a plan of action. Snow knew the worst thing they could do was drag Emma back, but she also knew that was the only plan her husband would have.

Just before she blew out the candle, she saw the note on the bed. Snow knew it was likely just a scrap of parchment with nothing of importance on it, but she scrambled for it all the same. Her daughter was responsible surely she left a note to explain herself. Snow felt her nerves loosen when she read that it was in fact for her and James. At least her daughter had thought to say goodbye.

 

_Dear mother and father,_

_I hope that doesn't appear as cordial as it looks to me. I just want you to know that this is for both of you. I love you so much and I know that all you do is to protect me, but the time has come for me to have some freedom. You both know I've always wished for an adventure of my own, I've never made it much of a secret. Well I believe now is the perfect time._

_I know you must be unbelievably angry, father, but I can't keep living like I'm a prisoner in my home. You've both taught me so much in the past months and I appreciate it, but now I need to use it. I'm going to come back, this won't be forever. Someday I want to be a queen that you can both be proud of. I want to be fair and honest. But first I'm going to see my kingdom and other kingdoms._

_And last, but certainly not least, I found someone who I think I might be very much in love with. He isn't a prince or a duke, but he's more than enough for me. He's honest, and brave, and smart, and he treats me like a princess and an equal. I think it might be true love, but it may be too soon to tell. I know you both wouldn't approve, but when I return, I'd like to think you would give him a chance._

_Love, Emma_

Snow stared in shock. It was all so much more than she could handle. Emma had left in the night, and didn't intend to come back for a good while. And she had found a man who she thought she loved? When had that happened? She had never even been allowed to leave the castle, how could she have met someone who she thought could be her true love. It was too much.

Snow reread the letter a dozen times before a second emotion began to creep up on her. Happiness. She was happy for her daughter despite it all. Emma was finally going to learn about the world first hand. And even though Snow was hurt Emma had never talked to her about the man she was referring to, she was happy her daughter finally got to experience love. 

Emma was going to come back smarter, happier, and with a suitor. Snow was beginning to lose sight of the down sides. Sure their daughter was gone, but they had taught her everything they knew. She would be perfectly safe. And she had someone to look out for her. She would be back in no time. And when it was her time to take the throne, she would be an incredible queen. 

Snow took her time heading back to her quarters, just in case Emma wasn't far enough away. 

\-----

The woman stood at the gates of the castle, just out of sight of the guards. It was far too late for her to request an audience with the king and queen, she just felt the urge to see it. Some times she just wanted to see where she would be living very soon. In the morning her plan would be set into motion. The king and queen would feel the pain that she had felt when they stripped her of her magic and locked her away.

With a grin, she turned and began the trek back to her lodgings for the night. She'd tucked away her usual attire and adopted a look that just screamed peasant. She wasn't a fan of it, but she knew no one would recognize her. No one except for the king and queen. She'd donned a pale blue dress, and let her hair fall down in waves down her back. Two flower hair pins held it out of her face. She'd even worn plain slippers instead of her usual heels. It was definitely different.

She just hoped she wouldn't have to smile at every one like an idiot for much longer.


	11. Falling Away

Earlier that same day  
\------------------

Emma stuffed all of her hair under a cap Killian brought from his ship, a few strands refusing to stay in. He'd taken her bag aboard as well, but she'd been forced to wait for him far off in the trees. He hadn't wanted her to see the ship yet. Apparently that would have ruined the full affect. She didn't mind all that much though, because Emma was still wearing that stupid grin. 

She wasn't a fan of the cap though. Her hair would have given her away as the princess in an instant, but she suddenly felt the urge to let it loose. It had always been braided, but she was free, and her hair deserved to be too. Once they were on the ship, she swore to herself that she was never going to tie her hair up again. Not until the day she returned home to assume her duties. Besides, she knew how much Killian liked it down. 

Each step they took away from the castle, Emma felt lighter and more sure everything would work out fine. Killian seemed rather giddy too. He had been over the moon that she'd never been to a pub before. He wanted her to experience all of her firsts with him. Emma couldn't help but agree. Killian made everything more enjoyable. Even the walk through the busy town streets.

There were more people than she'd ever seen before all hurrying in this direction or that one. Almost everyone was smiling. There were children playing a game she didn't recognize on the sidewalk, but it was obvious how much they were enjoying themselves. And she could hear cheers from the pub nearly three streets down. All of the shops were open, and Emma could finally see Ruby enjoyed so much. There were so many clothing shops. 

The pub was closer to the docks, and Emma could just barely see the shimmering of water between buildings. But then Killian was opening the creaky door for her.

Emma had dreamed of going to countless places, and a pub was one of them. But she'd only ever really wanted to go because she wanted the experience. She'd never imagined she would enjoy it. She'd imagined they were all dim, crowded, loud, and smelling of booze. And the one she stepped into was all of those. But it also had laughter, and music, and a warm hand on the small of her back. How could she not enjoy it?

The looks they received upon entering weren't lost upon her. Killian clearly had a reputation and every one in the pub seemed to be aware of it. Women stared with heavy lids, and men kept their distance. Emma made a note to ask Killian what he'd done to garner that sort of attention, later. She didn't want to think about what someone had to do to instill that kind of fear in the masses, and she was reminded how few details she knew about his past.

Then Killian led her to a table in a barely lit back corner and she shoved that from her mind. They sat close together thighs touching underneath the table. She didn't look at him, too busy taking in her hectic surrounding, but she could feel his eyes on her. It was invigorating and she couldn't hold in her smile. She was in a pub with a pirate who seemed to be crazy about her. Already her life was looking up. She felt a twinge of sadness that it came at the expense of disobeying her parents, but Emma refused to linger on the feeling. 

A very well endowed woman approached them with a full tray, leaving to mugs on the table, and a wink for Hook. Emma chose to ignore the small flirtation. She could be mature. Hook took a healthy gulp of his beer, rum, she didn't have a clue, then motioned for her to do the same. "Try it love, just go slow. I would hate to have to carry you all the way back to the ship," he teased. Emma flushed slightly. She had never had anything but small sips of wine. She was probably a light weight.

Tentatively, Emma took a sip of the beer. It was a different taste, rougher than what she was used to, but she liked it. Killian smiled brightly when she took a particularly large swallow and ordered them food. By the time she'd finished her glass, she felt relaxed and flushed despite having eaten. Killian didn't even look phased after his third, and Emma had to wonder how he'd built up such a tolerance.

Killian draped an arm over her shoulder and Emma leaned into him. They talked and ate and drank and she never felt more at ease and content. Emma had spent so long trying to be something she wasn't. It was a relief to be in the presence of someone who didn't expect a thing. The only thing Killian ever seemed to want was to be close to her. And as strange as that seemed, Emma was getting used to the idea that someone loved her, that she possibly reciprocated the feeling. 

But had she made the right call. For the first time Emma felt herself doubt what she was doing. She'd left the only home she'd ever known, her parents, her friends, and she'd gone without a single goodbye. The repercussions would be enormous when she returned. But then Killian laid a hand on her thigh and smiled, motioning towards the door. "I do believe it would be bad form to keep you here much longer when the Jolly Roger is right outside," he said close to her ear. Emma fought not to sigh.

He was looking at her with those excited eyes that practically sparkled. How could something wrong look and feel so right? Just like that her doubts vanished along with his warm breath over her skin. She'd had no choice. She would have given up anything to be with Killian just for a short while. Besides, what was the point of living if you didn't take risks. And he was the biggest risk of all. "I can't say I don't agree with you Captain," Emma managed, pulling her glance away from those captivating eyes in time to see a large burly man approaching them.

"If it isn't Hook! Didn't count on seeing you again, mate," he shouted as he drew nearer. He seemed like he'd had far more drinks than was wise. Killian stiffened, but stood. 

"Aye, it's a welcome surprise, John." He said, shaking the man's hand. Emma stood slowly and watched as Killian faked a smile. He was probably a great liar when it came to strangers, but to Emma he already seemed like an open book. John leered at her as she took her spot beside her pirate, and she didn't miss how Hook took notice. They way he stepped closer, laid an arm on her waist. It felt surprisingly good to be spoken for, though Emma could handle herself. 

"Who's this lass? Is she busy tonight?" He asked with a wink. Emma could not understand why Killian's face darkened for an instant. But the expression didn't last. He leaned for ward and whispered something in John's ear, before paying the bar maid and ushering Emma out. 

"What was that?" Emma asked, watching his face closely once they were outside. The streets were less filled and the sun was beginning it's slow descent across the sky. She hadn't realized how long they'd been in the pub. Killian was leading them down a street that had a slight downward direction, and Emma could only assume it lead to the docks. She felt her excitement build at the prospect of getting on the ship. 

But she felt the fear that her parents would be there waiting for her, ready to drag her back to the castle kicking and screaming. She had to leave the notes, it was necessary, but because she'd left them, she knew she was in danger of having her adventure cut short before it could begin. Her father would surely know that Killian was the one who had taken her away. And her mother would probably encourage him to come after her. 

They shouldn't have taken so long in the pub. Emma knew it but she couldn't bring herself to feel bad about it. It had been a whole different world in there where she wasn't a princess and they could be together without trials. She'd finally felt normal. And until they were sailing into the horizon, she wouldn't feel that way again. The threat of her father was looming to near. She was pulled from her anxious thoughts by Killian's hand taking hers. They fit together so nicely and he was so warm, she wondered how she'd gone so long without knowing the feeling. 

"Oh he was implying improper things, it isn't very good form," Killian said lightly though she could see he was still upset about it. 

"Well then you may have to fight him for my honor," She replied with false sincerity. Her serious face lasted until he raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Gladly, but if you don't mind, can we do it another time, love? If we wait any longer my crew won't be able to walk, let alone sail." He explained with pleading eyes. Emma grinned and squeezed his hand.

"I do think you'll have to make it up to me then," she said, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Killian tracked the motion with his eyes. 

"If you want to get closer to me, all you have to do is ask," Killian teased, stepping closer. Emma glared at him but it didn't last. Not when he was looking at her with those mischievous eyes.

"If I'm not mistaken, you should be the one asking to get closer to me," She said with a suggestive look before walking ahead of him. "Are you coming?" 

\-----

Snow was beginning to get genuinely worried about her husband. His rages were nothing for her. He would never lay a hand on her and usually she could calm him and get him thinking rationally, but she didn't know how to deal with the man before her. The king was standing on the balcony of their bedroom and staring off into the distance. The sky was black, stars luminescent. In his hand was a crumpled letter that Snow had just given him. 

On the letter was Emma's goodbye. 

He hadn't spoken to her since she handed it to him. She just sat on the foot of her bed and watched the tense muscles in his back. She desperately wanted to reach out and comfort him but she somehow sensed that wasn't what he needed. He was trying to work out how it had happened. If he could have prevented it. If it was his fault. Unfortunately, her husband had a bit of a hero complex and he was taking it hard.

Finally he turned and leaned his back against the rail. He looked at Snow with infinitely sad eyes and she took it as her cue to throw herself in his arms. His arms wrapped around her and he buried his nose in her neck. The action was as much a comfort to her as it was to him. She was handling it better, but she'd lost a daughter too and she needed her husband. She just hoped he stayed calm about it all. 

"We are going to go to bed, and then in the morning, I will saddle up and find her." He murmured. Snow couldn't hold back a sigh as she pulled back. 

"No you aren't. She doesn't want to be found. You can't force her to come home, she'll resent you for the rest of her life. And she said she would come back." Snow reasoned, folding her arms against her chest. 

"She'll come back if something doesn't kill her first. I can't let that happen." James said, mimicking her. The crumpled envelope fell to the floor but they ignored it. 

"I know this hurts, but we have to let her go," Snow reached for his hand, but he avoided it walked around her, stepping on the letter in the process. 

"Snow, I know you're making sense, but I just can't." He glanced back once before walking into his closet to change for bed. Snow knew there was no way to convince him to change his mind, so she picked up the envelope and smoothed out the edges gently. For some reason she wanted to hold onto it. Maybe she was just being sentimental but it seemed wrong to throw it away. It was her daughter's first real rebellion recorded. 

She folded it slowly and slipped it into the hidden compartment of her jewelry box. There it would be safe until she found somewhere permanent for it. When her husband came out, exhausted expression and in his night shirt and briefs, she changed as well, then slipped in beside him. She rested her head on his chest and felt her lids get heavy. They fought, but they loved each other. And she knew from the way he held her tightly that he would need her there while he stayed awake all night planning.

\-----

The Jolly roger was bigger than Emma had imagined. And more colorful. There were blue and yellow stripes on the wood and there were people shuffling around the large deck. The little light made it seem like a ship straight out of a fairy tale. Ropes were hanging everywhere and she thought she might get caught in them by accident if she got to close. It swayed with the water in a comforting way and the sails were not black with skulls on them the way she'd read they were in the books. 

But her favorite thing was the way Killian looked at it. He gazed up at that ship like it was his child and she couldn't imagine how much he had been through on it. She hoped he loved her half as much. Maybe after they'd sailed together, he would look at her like that. Emma smiled nearly as brightly as he was when the thought occurred to her. She would have liked nothing more than to be a pirate he could be proud of. If only for a little while.

Killian placed a hand on the small of her back and lead her to the plank that connected the ship and dock. "Ladies first," he whispered through a grin. 

The boards creaked under her weight which was nerve wrecking because she knew she wasn't very heavy. But she stepped onto the ship despite it and thought that if they could hold a crew of pirates, she would be nothing. She was slightly wobbly at first, but she got used to the motion quickly. Emma heard Killian following her, but she wasn't paying any attention to him. She was staring at the ocean. From the deck she could see past the other ships. The sun was almost completely submerged beneath the horizon, and the sky was a turning purple. She'd never seen anything so beautiful. 

"Listen up you filthy drunks," Killian shouted from the center of the deck. Emma jumped at his rough voice. She'd never heard it before, and she kind of liked it. She did not like how all of the crew had frozen in place. She and edged closer as they stared. "We have a guest on our ship this fine evening. Miss..." Killian trailed off and looked down at Emma expectantly. Without thinking too much, she blurted out, "Swan, Miss Swan." It wouldn't do any good for the crew to know she was the princess.

Killian smiled approvingly after glancing briefly at her necklace. "Miss Swan. I'm warning you now if any harm or insult should befall our guest, it will be your own neck on the line. Now off we go, we've places to be and things to do." Killian grinned at his crew and after a round of cheers, they were bustling around, pulling ropes and moving things. Emma was almost toppled over a couple of times, but she was able to right herself. 

"They always get so bloody anxious when things change," Killian complained, turning to Emma. "So, it would appear that I am needed at the wheel." 

Killian gestured to a round, jolly face man who was standing slightly behind Emma. It seemed he was too nervous to speak to her after Killian's threat. Emma hadn't thought it was necessary to make such a big show, but it was nice to know he was so serious about her safety. She could take care of herself though. As much as she loved how he cared, she wasn't something that need protecting. Her parents had done that all of her life and it hadn't worked too well for them.

"Smee will be showing you to the captain's quarters," he continued. "You can leave your things there, get settled, and change if you'd like." He explained with a sly grin. "You can join me when you're ready." He squeezed her hand, then disappeared in the crowd. Emma watched him go then turned to Smee feeling lost. At least he looked as nervous as she felt. 

"Um, right this way Miss Swan," he said taking off his cap, then thinking better and putting it back on. He lead her through a door and down a dimly lit staircase. 

"So how long have you sailed with Captain Hook?" Emma asked taking in the narrow hall. 

"Most of his life, I'm his second." Smee explained, stopping in front of an unmarked door. 

"Well, thank you," Emma muttered, hurrying inside quickly and shutting the door behind her. 

She was in a decent sized room. There were shelves filled with knick knacks and things covering two walls. Emma bypassed those and took in the nets hanging and the single lit lantern. The bed wasn't huge, but Emma figured there was no harm in having to sleep close together. Above the bed were three tilted windows that let in a small amount of light. The drawers that the bed seemed to rest on were all stuffed to full capacity and hanging open. 

The trunk at the foot of the bed stole her attention when she noticed her bag on the floor beside it. She lifted the lid to find all of her things neatly put away. She very much hoped Killian had done that because she hated to think men she didn't know handled her underclothes. Emma closed the trunk, blushing slightly, and turned to leave the room. She just wanted to explore the ship, she could change later. Though she didn't know why he seemed so amused by the idea.

But that was when she noticed the square table shoved in the back corner. There were two chairs tucked into it and draped over one was a swathe of black leather. It looked like something that would belong to Killian but it seemed way to small. Emma's interest was instantly peaked. Emma hesitantly lifted the garment and unfolded it, holding it up to get a good look. She quickly realized what her pirate had meant.

\-----

The evil queen had encountered a number of trials in her life, but entering the castle under the cover of night had not been one of them. She had been scared that she was going to have to cause a commotion to get to the king and queen, but it had been no trouble at all. She'd merely worn black, learned the guard's schedules, and known exactly where she was going. Their bedroom had been locked, so she'd had to pick it, but inside, both the king and queen were sleeping soundly. 

She was tempted to kill them. She could have done it easily. Slit their throats with the blade in her thigh strap and be done with it, but that would have been too easy. She wanted the royal couple to suffer for a very long time. So she sidled up to the bed, and in a flash, pulled Snow white up and pressed a blade to her throat. The woman woke instantly, and her short cry woke her husband just as quickly. They were sickeningly in tune it seemed. 

Charming sat up, pulling a blade from under the bed but he didn't move. He knew that she could end it in a second if he did. "How are you here?" He asked, whispered, shocked. 

"You two have this little tendency to under estimate me," Regina replied calmly. 

"What do you want?" Snow gasped. Regina had to give her credit, she didn't look the least bit afraid. Her husband was a different story. 

"I just want to know where the princess is. I tried to pay her a visit, but her chambers are empty." The evil queen explained. The Charmings shared a look. 

"We aren't telling you anything," The brave, _brave_ king said. She really wanted to put him out of his misery, he was so _good_ , but Regina had self control. She released Snow and took a few steps back. 

"Fine, I didn't expect an answer. I'll just find her myself." She said with a heavy sigh. She'd really been hoping the princess was in her room, but her being gone complicated things. She couldn't kill a princess she didn't have. Besides, where would a princess at her age go. She disappeared down the hall as the king rushed to his wife's side. The guards would be searching for her in a few minutes, but by then, she was long gone. 

\-----

Killian leaned on the wheel, watching the area around the door that lead to his quarters. He was anxiously awaiting the return of Emma, curious as to whether or not she was wearing it. He had left the outfit on the table but there was always the chance that she didn't notice it, or she didn't like it. But he knew her, he knew she wouldn't be able to resist. She wanted an adventure, to be a pirate, it came with a certain dress code. 

He wouldn't have cared if she stayed in her regular clothes. He thought she looked stunning in what ever she wore, but he'd always been curious about what Emma would look like dressed in leather. He grinned to himself. Hook really hoped she wore it. And the longer she took, the more sure he was that she was putting it on. She wasn't used to clothes like that. It would probably be a while longer until she emerged. 

But almost as though she'd been summoned, he saw a leather clad princess emerge from below deck. He damn near left the wheel when he saw her, but she looked much better walking towards him. She had a wide brimmed hat with a red feather that he had no idea he owned, though he was glad she found it. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, but a few tendrils were loose. The black vest left her arms and a rather large part of her chest exposed, he couldn't complain. And the pants were like a second skin on her. The black boots and scabbard at her waist made her look perfect. 

It took Killian a few moments to catch his breath. He'd never imagined that Emma would take to piracy so well, or that she would look so fantastic doing it. He had to admit, she looked even better than Milah had when she'd come aboard with him. And he didn't know what to say. She was leaning against the rail, hip cocked and eyebrow raised. There were no words to describe her that would do her justice. 

"I've struck the Captain Hook speechless? Can I take that to believe I look satisfactory?" Emma asked, hiding a smirk. Killian groaned. The she devil knew what she was doing. 

"I think it's safe to say you surpassed satisfactory some time ago," he finally got out, approaching Emma. Leather certainly did suit her...."In fact, I think you should go change. That probably isn't suitable," Killian rambled, realizing how many men were on his ship. He had a feeling a few of his crew members would be walking the plank very soon. 

"I disagree. I think this is perfect." Emma said surely, locking eyes with Killian as he wrapped a finger around a lock of her hair. He let his fingers trail down her neck and rest at the collar of her vest. He did not miss the way her breath hitched slightly.

"Smee!" Killian called. The short man was immediately at their side, but Killian didn't take his eyes from Emma's. "Miss Swan and I will be retiring for the night. Stay on course." Emma raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

"Yes sir, Captain," he said in his usual skittish way. Without a word, Emma strolled back to his cabin and he most definitely did not stare at her backside as she went.


	12. No Air

"So that was...unexpected," Emma bit out between deep breaths. Killian chuckled beside her, and she felt his breath ghost over her skin. 

"Really love, with an outfit like that, you should have expected as much," he teased, playing with a loose strand of her hair. 

Emma let her hand draw patterns over Killian's lower stomach as her breathing finally slowed down. It had hurt at first. And it had been a little uncomfortable. In all honesty, he had looked so big, Emma hadn't thought it would fit. She'd almost backed down. But Killian had taken the whole thing so slow, after they'd torn each other's clothes off. He'd been almost reverent. 

He'd asked her if she was sure she wanted to do it and told her he could wait. That was what had made her sure she wanted him to be her first. Even if they went their separate ways, Emma would never regret giving that to him. The way he'd tried to make it good for her. And the way he wanted to cuddle. She had never pegged him as a cuddler. But his arm was wrapped around her waist like he never wanted to let go, and her head just fit so perfectly on his chest.

Emma had expected to feel different after being deflowered, but she felt the same. Well that was a lie, she felt happier. She felt more whole, knowing she'd offered that part of herself to Killian and he'd known how much it meant. She was a princess after all. Everyone expected her to be pure, untouched. A virgin. Well she'd crossed that bridge and there was no going back. 

"Emma, having second thoughts?" Killian asked, breaking through her thoughts. She tilted her head up at him and frowned. He looked so worried. As if she could ever regret being with him. 

Emma leaned over him and kissed his wrinkled brow. "Never." The smile he responded with was almost blinding.

Emma fell asleep in his arms, knowing she would be sore in the morning and not caring in the least.

\-----

It was the next morning when the king decided he would leave on his journey. Regina's appearance had unsettled him and his wife, and neither had been able to go back to sleep. They had stayed up all night having the castle searched, then berating the on duty guards. The evil queen didn't have magic and she still got in. And the fact that she was searching for Emma was enough reason for James to speed up his trip. 

James stood at the gates of the castle, reigns clutched tightly in his hand. His horse stood calmly beside him and his half a dozen guards. He hadn't wanted to bring any at all but Snow had sworn to tie him up and lock him away if he didn't. Originally she had wanted to come as well, but someone had to look after the kingdom while he was away, a fact that had taken her hours to accept. And there was no way he was going to let anyone but himself take on the task of finding Emma. 

He knew she didn't want to be found. She just wanted to be free for a while, and he understood the desire because he'd had it once as well. But she was his daughter and he couldn't get over the over whelming need to protect her from any and everything. It was no good that she had left with a pirate, but it was even worse that the queen was looking for her. He was glad she hadn't been home the night before, but now they knew that Regina was out of prison. They were the only ones who could protect her, not some leather clad vagrant.

Ruby arrived as he was mounting his horse. She was wearing her usual hunting clothes and red hood, though she had the huntsman in tow. He kept to himself more often than not and that was surprising in itself. James hadn't told Ruby about his leaving, and he hadn't invited her along so he didn't understand why she was coming. Unless Snow had told her about last night. The girl was impulsive, but she loved Emma like a sister and it was admirable. 

"Good morning your highness, we'll be joining you if that's alright," Ruby said, though she gave him a look that said she didn't care what he had to say on the matter. He could have ordered her back inside, but she could be useful. She had quite the nose. 

"By all means," he said, waving her towards their extra horse. Both she and the huntsman mounted it. James didn't comment on the man's presence. He didn't care. He just wanted to get to Emma before Regina. 

Without another word, they took off, out the gates and towards the docks.

\-----

Snow stood before the tall window in the throne room. She watched sadly as the king and his soldiers rode off. Once upon a time, she would have been at the head of that group. She loved her life, her family, but sometimes she felt a little tied down too. She couldn't blame Emma for doing what she did, not when Snow had had a day dream or two about the same thing. Not that she would ever act on it. She was queen after all. 

Honestly Snow was a little jealous of Emma at the moment. Her daughter was just beginning an adventure of her own. She was doing and seeing everything for the first time. She was even falling in love for the first time. There wasn't a feeling in the world that could compare. And Snow could remember how amazing it felt to be young and alive and free. To have no responsibilities or obligations.

With a sigh, she threw herself down on her throne. She had meetings to attend and documents to see, but she knew she was only going to worry all day. Something felt wrong. Regina had told them she wanted Emma, but why? The only answer she could come up with was that she intended to kill Emma. But the thought made Snow feel sick. Regina obviously felt she hadn't tortured them enough. 

But she knew her husband would never let that happen. James was awfully stubborn, and he would never let Regina lay a hand on their daughter. The thought gave her a small amount of comfort. Regina had a strong will, but it was nothing compared to what she and her husband felt for their daughter. They would both sacrifice anything for her.

True love did conquer all. 

\-----

When Emma woke, she could feel a soreness deep in her bones. She felt a smile fall onto her lips when she remembered how that had happened. She suddenly remembered Killian's lips trailing down her stomach, his fingers digging into her hips. She pushed away the memory and stretched her achy limbs. She wanted to explore at least a little before she ended up dragging the pirate down for round two. 

It took her a moment to realize that she was alone in bed. The warmth she felt wasn't coming from another body, but from the window above the bed. With a sigh, she opened her eyes and took in the cabin with light coming through. It looked about the same, although there was one difference. Breakfast sat on the table beside a vase with a single rose. Emma could only assume it was for her.

She stood leaving the sheets on the bed and began searching for something to wear. She settled on her brown riding pants, boots, and a loose blouse. She thought maybe wearing her pirate garb would be tempting fate. And after eating and deciding to keep her hair down, Emma made her way on deck. She was frozen . 

Emma had been aboard briefly the night before, but it hadn't compared at all to the morning. There was a delicious breeze that ruffled her hair and carried the smell of salt water to her nose. The sun was shinning against the water, making it sparkle. And the best part, Killian standing at the helm, enjoying it just as much as she was.

"Ah so she can still stand on two legs?" Killian teased once Emma was in earshot. She couldn't tell if it was a reference to being on a ship for the first time, or what had happened last night. Either way, she slapped his shoulder.

"I would be more careful if I was you Captain. Those are dangerous waters," Emma warned with a smile. 

"Noted. Now where shall we go, Princess?" he asked, pulling Emma's back to his chest. Emma couldn't think of an answer. Partly because she had no idea and partly because he was breathing on her neck which was more distracting than it seemed.

"Where do you think?" She countered, leaning back against him. From the helm she could see his crew either working at a task or leaning against a barrel of some sort drinking what she assumed was rum. 

"I could hardly decide. I've been everywhere." Killian finally said. 

"But I've been nowhere," Emma argued, tilting back her head to look at him. Wasn't he supposed to be the big, well traveled pirate.

Killian looked down at her and licked his lip. "There is a place, that you might enjoy," he said unsure.

"Tell me about it," she said, looking out at the horizon. It could lead anywhere.

"Wonderland. I've never had the pleasure to explore it, only been once, but that's all the more reason to go with you." Killian explained. 

"What's it like?" She asked.

"Well I heard," he began excitedly. Emma looked up at him, sharing his enthusiasm. "There are mushrooms the size of trees, and nothing is as it seems. Cats can disappear, and there's a red queen fascinated with chopping off heads. Animals can talk and half of the people there are mad, but who can blame them when they live in such a loony place. And the best part of all, New seas to sail the Jolly Roger." Killian babbled excitedly, and Emma could barely wrap her head around it. 

She'd barely seen any of her own world. How was she going to even imagine a place where everything was the opposite? But even so, she could see it in her mind and it was marvelous. She felt her excitement build. "How do we get there?" She finally asked, turning around in his arms to face him. 

"Ahh, that would be the tricky bit," Killian admitted, rubbing his lip with his hand. She should stop looking at those. "You see there's only one man who can get us there, and he isn't in the habit of taking passengers." He looked almost sheepish. Emma had to bite back a laugh. She wasn't going to let such a trivial thing get in her way. 

"I can convince him," she said sure. Maybe Emma had been a spoiled, being a princess, but she was sure she could convince a man to ferry them across. 

"I'm sure you can, love," Killian said with a smile that would have been condescending if he wasn't looking at her like she was his world. She ignored that last bit and smothered her grin. 

"I can," she scowled, and crossed her arms. Life was no fun without a little arguing, after all. 

"Emma, you're not as convincing as you think," Killian teased. 

"I convinced you to kidnap a princess from her heavily guarded tower," Emma argued. 

"I convinced you to leave home and travel the seas with a dangerous pirate," Killian countered with a smug grin.

"Dangerous? You couldn't hurt a fly," Emma taunted. The way he narrowed his eyes sent a shiver down her spine. 

"You should mind your tongue, lass," Killian advised, stepping closer. 

"Or what?"

\-----

Emma pressed her palm to Killian's naked chest and felt his erratic heart beat. It was a wonder that she had done that to him. It was still a wonder that she affected him so drastically. Especially when she was fully aware how much experience he had in the area. But she shoved the thought away. She was the one lying beside him, trying to remember who had started it. 

"At this rate, I ought to abandon the notion of clothing," Killian muttered, running a hand up and down Emma's spine. 

"It could be arranged," Emma said. She shivered and inched closer. Not that they could get any closer. She was almost on top of him, their legs intertwined and bare skin pressed together. 

"Absolutely not! I'm the only one who gets to see you," Killian growled, flipping them over. 

He let the blanket fall to the side, and Emma made no move to cover herself as he hovered above her. Maybe it had been the fact that she had grown up being told she was beautiful by everyone she met, but Killian's gaze didn't make her the least bit self conscious. The way his eyes seemed to memorize her face then move down her throat, her breasts, her cinched waist, past her hips. It made her vibrate with need. 

"Killian, as much as I would love to stay here all day, I think it would be in everyone's best interest to set a course. Or at least tell Smee." Emma reminded him. 

As much as Emma wanted to explore every inch of his body, find out how to drive him mad, she also wanted to see Wonderland. It sounded absolutely incredible. And she knew if she didn't remind him, her pirate would spend all day and night mapping out her body with his lips. Killian sighed as if he'd heard her thoughts and set himself fall beside her. 

"It would be wise, wouldn't it?" He asked, sitting up. Emma admired his backside as he searched for his pants. 

"Yes, I believe so..." Emma mumbled. She sat up as well, stretching and glancing around for her own clothes. 

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" Killian asked skeptically as Emma reached for her blouse. He'd only put on his pants, and was halfway to the door. "I'll only be a moment. Then we'll pick up where we left off." He smiled doggedly, and Emma couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"You do realize I'm incredibly sore," Emma stated. Her training had not prepared her for Killian Jones. 

"Not nearly sore enough, love." With a wink, he was gone. Emma considered getting dressed and meeting him on deck, but she knew he would only drag her back down. Who was she kidding, he wouldn't have to drag her. 

With a happy sigh, she fell back into bed.

\-----

It was the late afternoon, a few hours before dark, when the king decided he wanted to set up camp. James hadn't wanted to stop at all, but his body wasn't on the same page. He hadn't gotten any sleep the night before and if he wanted to find Emma, he needed rest. He just needed the bare minimum and he would survive. 

At the docks and in the pubs there had been no helpful witnesses. One woman had claimed to have seen Jones and a blond woman, but she hadn't a clue where they were headed. So James had decided to ride through the forest to the next village, and the next one, until they found someone who knew something.

Ruby had proven useless, despite the king's hopes. She had tracked Emma's scent to the docks, but then she lost it. Once Emma had boarded that ship, it had become impossible to track her by scent. Which was more than a little frustrating, because James knew there had to be a better way than going around knocking on doors.

While James started a fire, the Huntsman and a few guards went hunting. Ruby stayed behind and took a seat beside James. He knew she loved the hunt, so he also knew the exact reason she had decided to stay behind with him. She wanted to try and convince him to go back. Well if his wife couldn't, than he knew she would have no luck.

"We don't have to keep going," she said offhandedly, poking at the fire. James rolled his eyes and leaned back. 

"Yes, we most certainly do," he said in a tone that he hoped would end the conversation. Unfortunately, she wasn't so easy to intimidate. 

"He'll take care of her," she added, still not looking up. How was he going to glare at her if she wouldn't look at him. 

"Ah yes, because pirates are known for their trustworthiness and honor," he bit back. Ruby raised an eyebrow at him. So maybe he was acting a little like a child. 

"He cares for her," she argued, pulling her cloak tightly around her. James scoffed. When had a pirate ever loved anything besides the sea and his rum.

"He kidnapped her!" James said angrily. He stood and crossed his arms. So maybe that was a stretch but he had gotten into her head and convinced her to go.

"She went of her own free will. He commit no crime," Ruby said to his back. Or he assumed. He had turned away and was facing the quickly darkening forest that surrounded them.

"He is a wanted criminal," he spat out. That man had wronged dozens of people, at least. Even if Emma had chosen him, he would never be good enough for her. 

"Only by you. He could easily be pardoned," Ruby said gently. He heard the leaves crunch beside him before a small hand landed on his bicep. 

"That isn't the issue. She isn't safe and I need to bring her home," James said, changing the subject. The truth was, he could never see himself pardoning that pirate. 

"She's in no more danger than the average person," Ruby countered, frustration leaking into her voice. 

"But she isn't an average person! She's a princess and she needs to be protected," James pulled away and turned towards Ruby. She looked as disapproving as Snow had been. Why couldn't anyone see his point of view? He knew he wasn't crazy. There were people out there who specifically wanted to harm his daughter. It wasn't his fault that he didn't trust a pirate with her care. 

"You trained her to take care of herself. She's with a dangerous, as you put it, pirate who is in love with her. She couldn't be more protected! And if she could hear you now she would be furious!" Ruby scolded him, throwing her hands in the air and stalking back to the log they were sitting on. She dropped down on it and put her head in her hands. 

"I just can't help it," James said softly once Ruby looked less murderous. "I just need to know that she's okay. Especially with Regina free and searching for her." he took a seat beside her.

"Regina?" Ruby's head snapped up in an instant. "She's back? Why didn't you tell us?" For the first time since they left the castle, James could see worry in her eyes. It didn't make him feel better at all. 

"Yes, which is why I've been so hell bent on finding my daughter." That was a lie. Even if the evil queen was still locked away, James would be out searching for Emma. "I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want you to worry. And I didn't want the news to spread. The last think I need is widespread panic while Snow is managing alone." James explained. That was at least true. 

He knew his leaving was hard on his wife, and the last thing he wanted was to make it worse. It had hurt him to leave her, but he knew it had hurt her worse to be left behind. There had been a time when she'd lived for adventure, and he knew that she still craved it at times the way he did. He just hoped finding Emma wouldn't take long. 

"You should have told us sooner, I would have tried harder today if i'd known," Ruby admitted sheepishly. James frowned at the implications.

"So you would have been able to catch her scent?" Could they go back?

"Oh no," she said with a dry chuckle. "But I could have asked more people in town, given better descriptions." 

"Well I suppose it's too late to go back now," James said glumly. So Ruby had initially come to slow down the party. He was glad he'd told her the truth then.

"Yes, but I'll be behind you every step of the way," Ruby assured him, placing a hand on his arm. She smiled at him warmly. It was a small comfort, but a comfort none the less.

"Thank you, I appreciate it," James said gratefully. 

Shortly after, the rest of their party arrived with their game. Ruby rushed to the Huntsman's side and welcomed him with a bright smile and a chaste kiss. James felt the need to look away. For their privacy and because it made him miss Snow more. Ruby prepared the hares they had captured, even though half of them had offered to help, and they ate in relative silence. 

Everyone was fast asleep by the time the moon had made an appearance. 

\-----

Ruby slowly opened her eyes. The only light was coming from the dying embers of the fire. She was supposed to be asleep, but how could she with all that she had learned. She had intended to slow down the king when they had left. But her plans had changed. Now that she knew the evil queen was a factor, she needed to do things a little differently. 

So once she was sure everyone had fallen deeply asleep, she crept out of her bundle and tiptoed to where Graham was sleeping. He had chosen to support her in her endeavor to slow the king, despite the negative effects it could have on his position. She just hoped he would also support her new plan. He was patient with her, but how much could a man take?

Just before her hand made contact with his shoulder, she stopped. She wasn't so bold as to share a room with him when they hadn't even married. Well not yet. So she'd never seen him asleep. The faint light didn't allow her much, but she could make out his smooth features, and the way his usually tense shoulder were at ease. She couldn't wait until she got to wake up to that every day.

She knew she was the cause of some of his tension. Ruby was what most would call impulsive and blunt. But she also knew that she was what made him smile more often than not. She was just amazed it had taken her so long to realize he was what she needed. He calmed her like nothing else, and she couldn't even begin to understand how she had gotten so lucky. 

"Graham?" Ruby whispered, shaking the man's shoulder slightly. His eyes didn't shoot open, he didn't shout, and he didn't flail like most would when woken in the middle of the night, in the forest. But his lids lifted slowly lifted and he assessed the situation. It was one of the things she loved about him. "There's been a change of plans." The man sighed, but stood. 

"Then lets talk where we won't have any eavesdroppers," he suggested, heading into the thick foliage. 

Ruby followed close behind him. They only stopped when they could no longer make out the orange glow of the mostly extinguished fire. Neither of them could ever get lost in the forest. Graham leaned his back against the nearest tree and opened his arms. Ruby slipped easily into them, resting her chin in the center of his chest. He wasn't the least bit affectionate in public, but he was different when they were alone.

"So what is this new plan, and what made you change your mind?" Graham asked her softly, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

"Charming and I were talking while you were hunting. I couldn't get him to change his mind, but he did tell me something new," Ruby explained. "Regina is searching for Emma. We can't wait for him and his men to find her, they're going too slow. We have to go and warn Emma ourselves. Regina doesn't have magic anymore, so I'm sure she and her pirate can handle it after that, but we can't let Regina surprise them." Graham didn't look so convinced. 

"Are you sure that's the best course of action? The king is going to be furious when he wakes and we are gone?" He rationalized. 

"Yes, she's my best friend and I'm not letting her go uninformed. I'll take any punishment the king gives me," Red said confidently. But then she added in a softer voice,"I'll understand if you stay."

"We've been over this. I go where you go." Graham whispered. He cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. 

For a moment, it felt like any other night. She and Graham often snuck out in the night to enjoy each other and the woods. Sometimes they would hunt, sometimes they would lie on a blanket and just listen to the forest. But they were always had moments where nothing existed but the two of them. That was one of those moments. Ruby just wished they lasted longer. 

"We should get our things and move out. We'll need to leave as soon as possible." Graham added, not moving. It was Ruby that moved away first and began the trek back to their camp site.

It took only minutes to gather their things, then they disappeared like ghosts.

\-----

Killian watched her take it all in with a small smile. They were stretched out on his deck, looking up at the stars, just how he'd hoped they would. It had taken some effort to clear his crew, but it had been worth it. And there was nothing more beautiful than an awestruck Emma. She had never seen the sky like that and he was more than happy to be the one to show her. 

He took a swig of rum from his bottle and placed it out of Emma's line of sight. He'd tried to keep it away from her, but she had been insistent. Plus Killian had a real problem saying no to her. She hardly drank anything before he could tell that she was drunk. Clearly, the king and queen hadn't let her near anything strong in recent years. The woman couldn't hold her liquor.

"Can I ask you something?" Killian asked after a short while. 

"Be kind. I'll likely tell you anything now that you've gotten me drunk," Emma said in a slightly higher voice.

"A lesser man would take advantage,"Killian teased. 

"Ahh, then I'm fortunate you are such a gentleman," Emma said before dissolving into giggles. He really loved her laugh. She didn't use it nearly enough. 

"I think you put a rather large amount of faith in me," Killian raised an eyebrow, turning on his side turning on his side to face her. 

"Am I wrong to?" She turned her head and met his gaze.

"That is yet to be seen," Killian said, unable to look away. He wanted to freeze the moment and relive it over and over. Emma with wide, glazed eyes, smiling and laughing. Her cheeks flushed, hair a mess. It was perfect. She was perfect. 

"Didn't you have a question for me, Captain?" Emma finally asked, looking back up at the sky. Killian watched a bit longer before he pulled his thoughts together. 

"Aye, I wanted to know if there was anyone before me. Perhaps a bit immature of me to ask, but I was curious. I swear I will try to contain my jealo-"

"No," Emma cut him off. She wore this easy grin as she continued. "There were so many suitors. And I do mean dozens. Plus one boy who thought he'd been the one, but I never found a gentleman who appealed to me. Not the way you do," she said, winking at him. Even drunk she was a minx. 

"So what you're saying, is I'm the only man you've ever been with, and the first to steal a kiss?" Killian asked more than a little shocked. He had known about the first one. He'd been so hesitant to deflower her. But to think that he had also taken her first kiss, it was almost too much to hope for.

"Killian Jones, you and I both know you didn't steal a thing. In hindsight, I may have been unwisely willing." Emma giggled, and turned on her side to face him. "You may be a pirate, but that isn't who you are. It doesn't have to define you or restrict you. You can be so much more. You are so much more. I've seen it, you should let every one else in on the secret." Emma suddenly seemed oddly sober. Killian didn't know what to say. 

He was a pirate, that was all he'd ever been, and all he'd ever planned to be. He'd always known that there was no other way of life for him. That he would die at sea or with a noose around his neck. But Emma, for some ungodly reason, thought he could be more, and he wanted to prove her right more than anything. He'd already planned to give up his ship upon their return, but she strengthened his resolve. 

"Emma, love, for a girl who spent a life time in a tower, you are very wise," he complimented, placing a hand on her cheek. Then her sobriety left as quickly as it appeared and Emma was grinning like a fool again. 

"I think we need more rum," She insisted, sitting up. Killian rushed to his feet and helped her because he knew there was no way she would make it to their cabin on her own. But he did allow himself a small chuckle in the act. The last thing she needed was more rum. 

"I think what you need is sleep. You are going to feel awful in the morning." Killian said, leading her in the right direction. She couldn't quite stay on her feet, so he scooped her up in his arms. Emma just laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt her relax as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

"Very well, you could always give me something else," she suggested, placing lazy kisses on his throat. Killian laughed at the implication. She didn't have a chance. 

"The moment you lie down in bed, I can guarantee you the only thing you'll want is sleep." Killian carefully descended, trying not to hit Emma's feet. 

"Would you like to make a wager?" Emma asked as they entered their cabin. Killian bit back a smile as he nodded. He had to admit, she wore her rum well. 

"Aye, but you won't be awake long enough to set the terms," Killian joked, laying Emma down on the bed. She tried to glare, but it was replaced by a smile when he took off her boots for her. He also helped her out of her pants, though Emma seemed to think that was an advance. He turned away for 30 seconds to remove his own coat, vest, and pants, only to find his princess fast asleep.

He would feel victorious if he thought she would remember any of it in the morning. Oh well. At least he got to watch her sleep for a few minutes. He was exhausted too, but he couldn't pass up the chance. Sleeping Emma was quickly becoming one of his favorite sides of the woman. Though he didn't think that really counted. 

But he didn't care. The way she took up the whole bed, or how she snored softly. It was all unbelievably endearing. And the best part was Emma didn't know she did any of those things. She had no clue she hogged the covers. And Killian would probably never tell her that she reached for him instinctively if he moved away from her. That would have ruined the fun of it. 

So after a few minutes of enjoying the view, Killian softly crawled into bed beside Emma. She didn't wake, but she did automatically wrap herself around him. Like they had been sleeping together for years. The thought left him with a yearning he had never felt before. But Killian pushed it away. He just wanted to enjoy his time with Emma while he still had her. 

He knew better than anyone how quickly things could go sour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait, guys. I know I've been awful. I have two other stories that I'm officially working on and I've been swamped lately. Plus I had a dash of writers block. But hopefully I'll be better about updates now. I made it a long one, hope that helps. And I considered smut, but I've decided to make you wait for it. Love you! 
> 
> p.s please don't hate me, here's a hug >^.^)>


	13. Tell Me I'm A Wreck

It was such an unassuming cottage that Emma had a hard time believing that it had the power to send her either home, or to a brand new world. Really she had never seen a home that looked as ordinary as that one. But on the long, uneventful, trek through the woods, Killian had insisted that they were heading to the right place. She felt inclined to trust him, though that didn't come easy for her.

"So are you going to knock?" Emma finally asked after standing outside the cottage for quite some time. Killian was staring pensively at it and she didn't understand the hesitation. The man in there had something they wanted, they needed to go in there and get it.

"We have to handle this delicately. He can scare easily," He explained. Stepping back into the woods. "And we didn't part on what anyone would call good terms," he added uneasily. Killian leaned against a tree and pulled out his flask. Before he took a drink he waved it towards the cottage, "Go on then lass."

Emma trusted him, and she knew he would never intentionally put her in harms way. But the whole situation made her nervous, and she had a pretty good sense about those things. Regardless, she nodded and took slow steps toward the home. Adventures weren't going to be all sunshine and roses.

Before her fist hit the wood of the door, it swung open and a young girl with blond pigtails burst out. She was swinging a basket in her arms and nearly collided with Emma. Her gaze suddenly turned suspicious. "Pappa, I think there's someone here for you," the girl called, never taking her eyes off of Emma. The effect was a little unsettling.

A moment later, a man with unruly dark hair took his place behind her, resting his hands on the girl's shoulders. He regarded her, if possible, with more suspicion than the young girl had. "Grace, why don't you start looking for mushrooms, I'll join you in a moment," he said, leaning down slightly.

Grace turned around in a flash and grabbed her father's arm, or Emma assumed he was her father. "No, please don't leave. Please. I'm happy here. Don't do it," She begged, sounding on the verge of tears.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Just do this for me, okay?" He said softly. Grace hugged him tightly, then slowly stepped around Emma and headed for the woods just behind their cottage.

"What do you want?" He asked, and his voice was so cold so suddenly, that Emma was surprised it had come from the man who'd been speaking moment ago.

"I'm Emma, I came from far away to ask of your services," she said hopefully. "Well, my friend and I." The man glanced behind her suspiciously but didn't budge from his place at the door.

"If you know what it is I can do, then you must also know that I no longer provide those services," he replied through gritted teeth. Emma thought maybe Killian had been under exaggerating how difficult it would be to convince this man. He seemed set.

"I can pay you handsomely," Emma offered. But he only rolled his eyes at her.

"We don't need your money. Believe it or not, everyone cannot be bought. If I take you and your traveling companion, then I must go as well, and the risk of getting trapped while you go home is too great. I won't risk leaving my daughter." He explained, pulling down his vest.

"Well you could bring her along..." Emma suggested, but the thought trailed off at the horrified look on his face.

"I wouldn't take her to any of the lands beyond this one. Do I look mad? Each holds it's own dangers, greater than those here. You clearly don't understand what you're asking for." He crossed his arms and glanced behind her. For some reason Emma felt like she'd been chastised and she hated the thought of someone else thinking they were so much smarter than she was. She wasn't a child anymore.

"I know exactly what I'm asking for. I want a chance to see more after spending years locked away. This is my chance to experience something new, and if you don't take us, how else will I get to wonderland?" Emma ranted, imitating him and blowing some of the hair out of her face. The man raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Wonderland is where you want to go?" Emma nodded. "Oh well then that's hardly any trouble at all. You just have to track the white rabbit down and have him take you," He said like it was the easiest thing in the world.Maybe he was crazy.

"And how in the world would I go about that?" Emma asked, huffing. Her parents had always told her it wasn't very lady like, but she wasn't really trying to maintain her image as a princess at the moment.

"Well I could hardly be expected to know," he said with an eye roll and a frown. "I have a portal."

"Couldn't you just, lend it to me?" Emma asked, shifting under his judgmental gaze. "Or I could buy it from you?"

The man leaned heavily against the door and looked away from Emma. He seemed to deflate as he considered it and Emma felt the need to back away. He obviously wanted to be anywhere but there, having that conversation with a girl he'd never met before. And the longer they spoke, the longer his daughter was hiding in the woods terrified her father was going to leave her.

Emma was clearly overstepping boundaries and she was asking too much. She could see that. She glanced back to where Killian was hiding just out of sight. He wouldn't have asked her to to this if he'd known how much it would cost this man. She sighed, turning back to him and opened her mouth to apologize for bothering him.

"Fine, take it," he said first. He ran his hands through his hair roughly before looking up at her with wide eyes. "Maybe then they'll stop coming. It will be your problem." He muttered before disappearing into the house. Emma watched on in wonder. He was just going to give them the key to the world, like it was a burden to unload.

"Here, just take it and go. Please don't come back," He insisted, reappearing and holding out an oddly shaped box to Emma. He wouldn't meet her eye as he held it out. Emma hesitantly took it from his hand.

The door shut in her face the minute he released it.

\-----

They stared at the box as it sat on a log in the middle of the forest. Well not the middle, they'd stopped a short distance from the shore where Killian's ship awaited. She stood just a few feet away, examining the box. Killian, on the other hand, was pacing several feet away, thumb rubbing his lip. It was just a guess, but he seemed nervous.

"Something's wrong. He shouldn't have just handed it over. He's been safe guarding it for years," Killian rationalized never once pausing.

"He seemed on edge. Maybe he'd just been tired of the attention a portal garnered. Maybe he just wanted to keep his daughter safe." Emma explained, twisting the corner of her blouse. Killian froze.

"He has a daughter?" Killian peeked over at her seeming mildly horrified. "That would do it then."

"Yes, why does that matter?" Emma asked suspiciously, stepping towards her pirate. Killian took a step back then must have thought better of it and stopped. It was reassuring to know Emma had the power to make him happy and intimidate him.

"Just keep in mind that I was a different man," Killian muttered, before sliding down the trunk of a tree and plopping onto the ground. "Blinded by grief."

"You can tell me any thing," she told him, hoping he couldn't sense how nervous he was making her. She knew Killian wasn't exactly Jimney Cricket, but she loved him for who he was. Emma sat beside him and took his hand in hers. She didn't miss the way his grip tightened.

"It was just after the woman I loved, Mila, was killed. I was just so angry and heartbroken and I wasn't thinking straight. I thought if I could just get to another land, find another powerful one, that I could enlist them to help me enact my revenge. I found the Mad Hatter first, and he took me to Wonderland. I'd known about a woman he was courting, but I hadn't cared to know more than that. He'd merely been a pawn to me," Killian explained, avoiding Emma's gaze.

She knew why he was doing it. He didn't want her to see the ugly part of him. The ruthless man that had been consumed by the thought of revenge and been prepared to do anything to fulfil it. But Emma knew that she loved the man he used to be just as much as the man before her. Killian wouldn't have been the same if he hadn't made his own mistakes. "It's okay, you can tell me."

He didn't meet her gaze as he continued.

"When we arrived in wonderland, it wasn't long before we were captured by the red queen. She took him captive and kept the hat, but she offered me a way out. She told me if I acted as her errand boy, she would refrain from killing me. Even help me enact my revenge. So I took it, no questions asked. And I left Jefferson to rot in wonderland for years before he finally escaped, while I had been free within months. Apparently he'd had a daughter waiting for him. All I had was a whole lot of dead loved ones." Killian kept his gaze fixed on the horizon as he finished.

Emma didn't know what to say. She could completely understand why the Mad Hatter, it felt wrong to call him that, would hate Killian. He'd been selfish to leave the man behind after bringing him in the zfirst place. But it wasn't as bad as it could have been. And Killian was so obviously remorseful for what he'd done.

"It's alright," she finally said, slipping a hand behind his neck so she could reposition the pirate's gaze.

"Emma, you are far beyond what I deserve," he finally whispered as their foreheads met.

"That is for me to decide," Emma responded, hoping she sounded like she was scolding him. She was. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and if he felt the same, that meant they deserved each other.

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I argued with a lady," he joked, falling back into his old self. There was still unease in his eyes, but Emma tried not to linger on it. He'd just shared a bad part of himself and he was probably still feeling the affects.

"A gentleman also shouldn't keep a lady waiting. How exactly are we going to use that?" Emma asked, playing along and nodding towards the case that sat untouched on the tree stump. They probably should have been more careful. It was valuable.

"Now all we need is some magic, love."

\----

Regina watched from a few trees away, a new plan formulating as she took in those love struck fools. She couldn't say whether she was more disgusted with the girl or her pirate. She was young and naive, the result of a ridiculously sheltered life, but clearly she knew all about what he'd done. And yet there she was smiling, crawling into his lap, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

And that damn pirate. He'd spent hundreds of years in Neverland before coming back and trying his hand at love once again. He was far too old to be staring at her like she was the center of his world. Running his hands through her hair and pulling her closer. They were acting like they were children.

Then to top it all off, he was protecting her. Regina had gone and waited too long, because Emma had the protection of a pirate who she was no match for. With magic she could have wiped the floor with him, but without it, she could only hope to get to Emma using the element of surprise. Which brought her back to her plan.

They were glued together, and while Regina loathed to watch them, she had to pick the perfect moment. When she was sure they were both adequately distracted, she crept forward and snatched the hat from where it sat. She didn't have the magic to use it any more, but she wasn't going to let Emma use it and get out of her reach.

She dashed back into the woods, looking back only to confirm that they were still locked together. They really were so foolish, thinking that they could protect each other from her wrath. With a grin, she strolled through the forest hatbox in hand and began planning out phase 2 of her plan. She just hoped they made it a little more of a challenge to find them next time.

\-----

Ruby took a deep breath. She could smell her faintly. But more than that, she could smell leather and rum and salt. She'd spent her whole life around Emma and she could barely pick up the girl's scent. All she could smell was that damn pirate. And even that wasn't very helpful. The three things that made up the bulk of his scent were surprisingly common, and she went off on tangents more often than she liked.

She was just thankful that Graham was still going along with it all. It had been a week and he hadn't begun to lose patience with her. He just followed at a steady pace, never questioning the dead ends or sudden changes in direction, always contributing his own hunting skills. She realized how easy it would be to just spend the rest of her life with that man.

She sighed loudly as her nose lead her to yet another pub. They weren't close enough to the ocean for it to be a likely option, but they needed to check it out regardless. She wasn't going to risk missing Emma just because some drunk had fondled her rear last time she'd stepped into one of those hell holes.

"I've got this one," Graham insisted from beside her. He was probably thinking about the same thing. The last thing he probably wanted was to stall the search so she could beat up another guy.

"Alright, I'll try to see if I can catch a scent. Meet me in the main courtyard?" She asked, even though it wasn't really a question. That was where they always met when they had to split up.

Graham nodded, then pulled her in placing a chase kiss on her lips. It was nothing, just a peck, but Ruby was still fighting a smile when he pulled away and strode towards pub. It amazed her that those small gestures were a natural thing for him. Like they'd been doing it for years instead of months. She allowed herself a small grin and faded back into the woods.

\-----

James hadn't slept more than a few hours each night since Ruby and the Huntsman had abandoned them in the night. He'd wanted to keep moving, going at his impossible pace, but his guards, who James suspected Snow had bribed, forced him to stop early after a week of running himself ragged. So against his will, they stopped at sunset and James grabbed bow and arrows to hunt.

But how could he take even a moments rest when his daughter was out in the unknown. He tried to sleep but his body wouldn't stay still, his eyes wouldn't keep shut. Then he would jump right back on his horse, leaving his guards scrambling to catch up. He knew he needed rest to stay alert, but he couldn't bring himself to care about logic, there was just finding Emma.

As he crept through the barely lit forest, searching for any movement, James felt his mind drift to what Emma was doing at that very moment. Was she in danger? Did she miss her parents? Or was she so thrilled to be off exploring with that crooked pirate that he and Snow never even crossed her mind?

The last possibility was almost too painful for him to consider. He couldn't bring himself to believe that being with that man had meant more to her than living at the castle with her parents. James had of coarse chosen Snow over all of his family time and time again, but they had been different. It had been a different time, and theirs had been, and still was, true love.

He couldn't believe, as far as his imagination stretched, that the pirate, Killian Jones, really loved his daughter. It just wasn't possible. He'd literally devoted his life to hard living on the ocean, drinking and having his way with whatever women crossed his path. Emma was innocent, and royal, and she didn't know anything about the outside world.

And she didn't know anything about that man.

He could take advantage of her. It made James' grip tighten on his bow. He'd taught Emma how to defend herself, but could she defend herself against a worldly pirate who'd been fighting much longer than her and in much more dire situations. He almost couldn't breathe. If Emma wasn't returned to him exactly as she'd left, there would be hell to pay. Well, for Jones, there would be hell to pay regardless.

James smiled grimly and continued his hunt.

\-----

It had been a full week and Snow hadn't heard a word from her husband's search party or her daughter. She hadn't been expecting them to send news so soon, but she'd been hoping. Without any good news, she was forced to assume the worst. That her husband was somewhere losing his mind trying to find Emma, and that her daughter was in Regina's clutches.

With those awful thoughts in mind, she'd decided she had no choice but to strike a deal. Snow had sent a summoning to Rumplestiltskin, hoping he would be able to help her send warning to her daughter. If nothing else, Snow could tell Emma to prepare herself, or hide away with Killian, or come home where she could be protected.

Snow wouldn't even have minded if Emma brought her pirate home with her. She was fairly certain Emma intended to bring the man back anyways. And when she did, Snow knew her daughter was going to need someone on her side. All James would want to see was Killian's head on a plate. As much as Snow wanted to stand by her husband, she wouldn't allow him to put their daughter through that.

"Hello deary," a voice greeted from a just behind Snow's shoulder. She jumped and spun around to find Rumplestitskin sprawled over her throne. He waved his fingers daintily at her and grinned. Snow offered him a half hearted smile, but even with his improved morals, he still unsettled her.

"Hello Rumplestitskin. I assume your presence means you're willing to help me?" Snow asked, stepping closer.

"That's the plan, but I'm afraid this deal will have to be a bit....unorthodox," he said with a giggle, jumping from the throne. "You are a queen, but at the moment, you have nothing that I want. All I ask is that you do me a favor when I call."

Snow took several steps back as he advanced. "I cannot promise that. I have a kingdom to put first. Surely th-"

"Oh no, I can promise that my request will have no negative effects on the kingdom. Should it, our contract will be void. I am a man of my word," he explained, twiddling his fingers.

"Then it's a deal," Snow said without hesitation.

"Glad we could come to an agreement."

Rumplestiltskin pulled a small vial from his pocket and extended it to the queen. "Pour it on the bird, and it will find her."

Snow plucked the vial from his hands. She knew all magic came at a price. She knew it never ended well, getting mixed up in all of it. But how could she not when the safety of her daughter was a stake? She couldn't. So she shoved down all of the doubt she was feeling and smiled at the grinning man before her. At the very least, she could take comfort with the fact that he'd become much less questionable since Belle had arrived at the scene.

That woman had worked the real magic.

"Well if that would be all," he interrupted her thoughts with a flourish of his hands. "I'll be on my way. Best of luck, deary."

Then he was gone.

Snow wasted no time in writing Emma a letter that explained the threat Regina posed and also how much she loved her. Then she tied the note onto a dove that rested on her window ledge. Before it could fly off, she poured the potion onto the bird. Her white feathers shimmered slightly before she flew off into the sky.

Snow couldn't help but feel like that hadn't been enough.

\-----

"No it was you!"

"I'm sorry love, but it was all you."

"Excuse me?"

"Lass, how could I ever be expected to concentrate when you were crawling into my lap?" KIllian asked with a high eyebrow and a small smile.

"Well I'm no more perceptive when you're kissing my neck," Emma defended, crossing her arms. She was taking this all a bit more seriously than Killian, it seemed. But then, he was sure they could easily find another way to Wonderland. Or their adventure could be finding out who in the hell had stolen their portal.

"But you were looking at me with those big eyes." Killian moved aside to allow Emma to board his ship first. She brushed past him without hesitating.

"But you were slipping your fingers under my blouse," Emma argued, giving him a look that said she'd won. Because she so had. Killian sighed from behind her and she allowed herself a smile.

"Very well, love. You win. The dastardly pirate is once again at fault," Killian complained. Emma turned around just in time to watch him stumble back onto the railing of his ship and mime chest pains. What a drama queen. Emma didn't bite. "You aren't going to kiss it all better, are you?" He finally asked, peeking through one eye.

"I think we have more pressing matters at hand." Emma quirked her hip. "Such as, who took the hat, and why."

"Or we could enjoy this small moment," Killian tried hopefully. "Or not. I suppose you're right."

Killian sighed but straightened and lead the way to his quarters, past a Smee who was looking rather flustered. "Ahh, Captain?" He called, after Killian had gotten half way across the deck.

"Yes Smee? You can walk with me, you know." Both he and Emma hurried after him.

"One of the crew members spotted a man who goes by the name Huntsman. He was asking a lot of questions about you and Miss Swan." He snatched his hat from his head and began kneading it between his fingers. Killian turned, giving his full attention to Smee.

"The Huntsman? Are you sure?" Emma asked, perking up. That meant that it was likely Red was nearby. They were catching up. Then they really needed to get moving.

"Yes, quite."

"Then that settles it," Emma said cheerfully, clapping her hands. "We need to get moving yesterday. If the Huntsman is searching, than so is Red, and she'll be able to catch my scent from a mile away."

"You heard the lady. Set the course for open waters, Smee." Killian ordered. Then he turned to Emma. "catch your scent?"

For a moment, Emma was actually taken aback by how many holes remained in Killian's knowledge of life, and vice versa. "Rubys a werewolf. Surprise!" Emma cheered awkwardly.

Killian nodded like he was planning on being rational. "Right then. What are the chances she's going to rip me apart for stealing her best friend?"

"I think you were growing on her just before you kidnapped me, so It could go either way."

"I do believe my life is worth a tad bit more than 'I think.' Wouldn't you agree?"

"I'm not too sure, I think I need more time to deliberate," Emma teased as Killian pulled her into his arms.

"Well I do need to go speak with Smee about our next destination, but after that, all of my efforts will go into changing your mind."

"And where is our next destination?" Emma asked, all teasing leaking from her demeanor.

With the portal gone, what other options did they have to get to Wonderland? They could always attempt to track down the white rabbit, but what chances did they really have? Or they could attempt to track down who ever had gone and stolen their hat. But Emma didn't have a clue who would have taken it. It couldn't have been the Mad Hatter. He'd seemed so relieved to be rid of it.

"I don't know, you choose. It is your adventure."

Emma opened her mouth but she just didn't know. How could she decide when she had virtually no experience when it came to these things. Besides, he was Captain. He was being incredibly sweet and considerate by asking but Emma had never really had a choice about anything. She didn't really know how to deal with big decisions.

A dove landed on the railing beside them, and Emma was midway through a breakdown, so she hardly noticed it. Until it began calling loudly. Emma glared at it. Couldn't it see she was trying to make a potentially life altering decision? But then she noticed something: There was a small piece of paper wrapped around the bird's ankle. To her knowledge, that wasn't an act of nature.

Emma stepped out of killian's arms and approached the bird slowly. It seemed completely unperturbed by the prospect of her coming closer. She was occupied cleaning her feathers anyways. She gently tugged the piece of parchment from the bird's leg, a string coming loose. The bird seemed unperturbed.

"Emma, what is that?" Killian asked, coming close behind her, but Emma didn't respond. She was unfolding the parchment as quickly as she could without ripping it.

 

_Dear Emma, I sincerely hope that you are off in some other land sailing the high seas and enjoying your freedom. And I suppose it would make me happy to know that you are with your pirate and happy as well. But there are more pressing matters to address. Your father began a search party to find you and Ruby joined. Before you get frustrated with him, he's only doing it for your safety. And I'm quite sure that Ruby only joined his party to keep him from killing your pirate when they do find you._

_Unfortunately, I think that captain has a way of alluding those who seek him out, and I doubt they will find you in time to warn you. Regina is free. Though she lacks magic, she is no less dangerous. She is searching for you and I know her intentions are not benign. So I beg you to either take precautions or come home where we can keep you safe. We truly only mean well._

_But ultimately, this is your decision. We've been controlling every aspect of your life for so long that I'm quite sure when it comes time for you to rule, you'll be completely overwhelmed. I want you to excel, so this is your chance. Show us you can take care of yourself, whether it's at home or farther than either of us has ever been._

_With all of my love, Mom_

 

Emma hadn't realized that the tears were on her face until Killian raised a gloved hand and gently wiped them away. She silently passed him the letter, but he just folded it back up and tucked it into a pocket in his vest. Either he'd read over her shoulder or he would read it later. It didn't matter, she was just glad he was there to catch her when she launched herself into his arms. 

She had been careful not to think of anything from home, but in that moment, she missed her parents more than anything in the world. She knew her father had had nothing to do with the letter, and yet she missed him as much as their mother. And for a moment, just a tiny one, she'd wanted to run back home and just let her mother and father wrap her up. Protect her. 

She knew she couldn't though. She needed to grow up and figure out how to be self sufficient. She could do it. And Regina could hardly be a threat to her without magic when she'd had training with her father for months. She could take care of herself. And when she needed someone to lean on, Killian was there for her no matter what. 

"I'd very much like to meet her," Killian murmured into her hair. "But maybe next time it will be when I'm not in chains," he added. Emma giggled softly and pulled away. 

"Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that," she explained wiping her eyes. Killian kept a hand on her waist. His own silent support that she loved. 

"You never have to apologize to me, love. I understand." She couldn't imagine how she'd been so lucky to 

"Right. Well at least now I know where we're going," Emma said with false cheer. 


	14. Wanted

"Fantastic. If he doesn't behead me, she'll rip me limb from limb," Killian said bitterly. Emma merely shook her head.

"My father will do no such thing while I'm present, and Ruby wouldn't either. But we need to get rid of them, and the only way to do so is to show them I'm fine." Emma intertwined their fingers and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

"I'm not so sure, love. I believe your father will want to kill me regardless of your state," Killian told her hair.

"Well we need to try. If Regina is searching for me, I won't have them hurt in the cross hairs." Emma pulled away slightly to look up at Killian. She wanted him to see how sure she was. It was the right thing to do.

"But what makes you so sure they'll simply go. Emma, they love you. They want to protect you." Killian released her hand in favor of stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. That was a definite concern. But she'd already thought of how to handle that.

"I'm going to threaten them. If they don't stop following me, I'll never come home." Killian's hand froze.

"Emma, you can't be serious. That's cruel." Emma blinked in surprise. She certainly hadn't thought so. It would hurt them, but at least they would still be alive at dawn.

"No, it's necessary. I want to keep my loved ones safe and I will," she said, crossing her arms. She wouldn't budge on it.

"And what about me? Are you going to steal away in the night and leave me as well?" Killian asked, pulling away. Emma saw the hurt flash across his blue eyes and rushed forward. God, she was such a fool. Of course he would assume she would do the same to him.

"No! Killian, I don't want you to get hurt either, I'm just selfish. I'm scared I can't face her without you," Emma called, grabbing his arm. Her voice trailed off slightly but she knew Killian had heard every word.

He immediately relaxed, drawing her back in and putting Emma's mind at ease. "Then you are very lucky you will never have to," he murmured. Emma rested her head against his chest, amazed that his walls could come down so easily for her. She still felt awful for making him think that there was a single place she would rather be than by his side.

"I love you." Emma whispered into his chest. She loved how true it was. How easy it had become to be honest.

"I know."

They stood like that for some time, just holding each other. Emma breathed in the scent of him and relished in his warmth. She drew her comfort from his strong arms and steady heartbeat. And she sincerely hoped she could be the same for him. That when ever he needed her, she would be there for him.

Already she knew she'd been a help earlier that day in the forest. Emma was glad for it. She wanted nothing more than to make Killian realize that he was a good man. He deserved a good, full life. She didn't think he was quite there, but she would keep at it until he did. She would be around for a while, after all.

Suddenly, a thought popped into her head.

"So what about that hat business?" Emma asked, pulling away just enough to look up.

"It could have very well been the Hatter toying with us," Killian suggested. Emma wasn't so sure.

"No, I'm certain he wanted to be rid of it. It could have been Regina." Emma insisted. "She's searching for me, and she has no magic so it makes sense that she would watch from a far for a bit. And by stealing the hat, she would be making sure we couldn't go somewhere she couldn't follow. Who else would steal from me?" Emma thought aloud, pulling away completely and beginning to pace. I made perfect sense.

"Well, love, you haven't exactly been you. And you forget your travel companion hasn't exactly spent the last 200 years making friends." Killian said sheepishly. Emma stopped and met his gaze. He could have been right. Maybe the letter had unsettled her more than she'd thought. She'd never had to deal with such a threat before. It could be getting to her.

But she couldn't go home. Her mother had been right. Emma needed to start making decisions for herself.

"You could be right. Maybe I'm giving Regina too much credit. I've just heard such malicious things." Emma thought back to all of the stories her parents had told her. The whispers among guards. Years ago the woman had been a force.

"I wouldn't worry, I believe you can hold your own. And if not, you have a devilishly handsome pirate by your side." Killian gestured to himself and grinned up at her. Emma had to fight not to match it. How was it that he could melt away all of her troubles so easily?

"Well just in case, I should begin practicing again. Will you spar with me?" Emma asked, knowing he wouldn't say no.

"Only if you think you can keep up. I must warn you, I've more experience than that father of yours, and I'm far less out of practice." Killian crossed his arms in a fairly cocky stance. Emma laughed and patted him on the arm.

"I'm sure. Now set the course for the shore. We've got to meet up with our search party."

\-----

It was a trick, it had to be.

She'd stared in disbelief for an embarrassingly long time before running back to the courtyard and retrieving Graham. She hadn't been sure what to tell him, so she simply brought him back to the docks and pointed at the offending ship. He saw it too, which meant she hadn't been hallucinating.

The Jolly Roger was in fact docked in the harbor.

After searching for over a week without the king, they'd found the pirate's ship. But it had been so easy to avoid them for so long, why was he just there all of a sudden? It had to be a trap. Except Emma would never let him hurt them. So what the hell was going on? They didn't have to wonder for too long.

"Um, excuse me? Are you Ruby and the Huntsman?" A squat, round man was standing before them, kneading his hat between his fingers.

"Who's asking?" Graham stepped forward, blocking her, but Ruby was having none of that.

"Yes, we are," she said around him, stepping forward. The man glanced between them nervously.

"Well, the Captain is waiting for you," he explained, motioning towards the jolly roger.

"I'll go," Graham offered. While Ruby wasn't okay with that plan, she was interrupted before she could express it.

"With all do respect, he requests the presence of both of you." Ruby grinned.

"Lead the way...."

"Mr. Smee. First mate at your service," he said somewhat proudly before tugging his hat back on and leading the way to the jolly roger.

Graham kept his hand on the small of her back as they boarded the ship. It was spotless and empty as they made their way across the deck and down a set of stairs into what looked like a small office. There was a large desk, bookshelves built into the walls, and small window that let in a good amount of light.

Captain Hook was sitting behind the large desk. But he wasn't looking at them. His eyes were glued to the woman who was sitting on the edge of his desk, laughing at something he'd said. Ruby had known of course that it was Emma, but seeing her so happy in such an odd place took her by surprise.

She'd never once in her life seen Emma looking so thrilled. She was radiant. And even though it could have been from seeing her friend, Ruby thought it probably had more to do with the pirate. Ruby was suddenly unbelievably glad she hadn't rushed to tell Emma's parents that she was gone. Being away from the castle with that man had seemed to do her worlds of good. And he had clearly been taking care of her.

They were both unaware of their guests until Mr. Smee cleared his throat. Both of their heads snapped up.

"Ruby!" Emma called, jumping from the desk and launching herself into her friends arms. Ruby wrapped her up her arms. She had missed her best friend so much more than she'd let on.

"Good to see you again, Emma," Graham said from behind them. She could feel her nod at him, but neither of them let go.

"Love, I think we're missing someone," Jones interrupted. Emma's head did pop up then.

"Where's my father? Wasn't he traveling with you?" Emma questioned them. She turned back to to Jones and Ruby could see the worry working it's way into her. "Is he alright?" She took a step back, closer to him, and she could already see Jones jumping to the same conclusions.

"No, he's perfectly fine. We left him behind," Ruby jumped in, grabbing Emma's hand.

"Why would you leave him alone? He's going to be furious with the both of you." Emma scolded Ruby then turned on Graham. "And why would you agree to that? You're supposed to keep her from getting into trouble." Graham scoffed, so unlike him.

"I can hardly keep her from doing something once she's set her mind to it," he defended. Killian laughed and stood, coming to stand behind Emma. His hand rested on the small of her back. Emma relaxed only slightly.

"I've encountered the same problem," Killian teased her. Emma turned a glare on him and his smile vanished in record time.

"Quiet you, or I'll..." Emma trailed off, unable to think of a threat. Ruby bit back a grin as she searched for something viable to say. Thank God Killian came to her rescue or she could have been there all day.

"I'll be sleeping on the deck?" He offered, giving her a half hearted smile. Emma softened and nodded her head.

"Yes, you will be." They shared a short moment before Emma focused right back on Ruby. "And what about you? Are you going to explain yourself?" Damn, she'd thought she could get away with that.

"It's just that he his guard were moving so slowly, and when he got here, his priority would have been killing your pirate, not protecting you. So we came to warn you. Regina is free and coming for you." Ruby explained, but they didn't have the worried expressions she'd expected. They looked no less at ease than a moment ago.

"Aye, we received word, though I'm grateful for the thought of my well being," Killian said with a lopsided grin.

"That's actually why we were waiting for you. We wanted to tell you to," Emma continued. She bit her lip and hesitated. "I want you to stop following me. If Regina finds me, we'll take care of it, but I don't want anyone I love, getting caught in the cross hairs. I wouldn't be able to live with myself." Ruby actually felt her jaw drop.

"Are you crazy? I'm not going anywhere. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you. Besides, Graham and I can't go back without you or we'll probably be thrown in jail," Ruby exaggerated. Snow wouldn't do it. Emma scoffed and crossed her arms. Killian moved up his hands, rubbing her arms.

"Love, you can't say you didn't see this coming. I'm just glad your father and an assortment of guards weren't here to throw a sword into the mix." Relief was clear on his face.

"Yes, well since we aren't going anywhere anytime soon, where will we be sleeping?" Ruby said, clapping her hands together excitedly.

She'd never been on a ship before so that was exciting. She forced herself to focus on that and not the fact that she might be sharing a room, alone, with Graham for the first time. They had of course had hunting trips and late night trysts, but never something so normal. It was nerve wrecking.

"Well I would imagine you wouldn't want to sleep with my men below deck in their quarters," Killian said, sending a look over her head to Graham "I'll have them set something up in here."

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Graham replied, placing a hand on her hip. Ruby was momentarily surprised by the action. He so rarely touched her in front of others.

"So we're just accepting that they'll be traveling with us? Just like that?" Emma interrupted, obviously frustrated. She glanced up at Jones, but this time he didn't fold under her glare.

"Emma love, what am I to do? She could quite literally rip my head off," he argued.

"I like him," Ruby added. "He seems to know what he's talking about." Emma just rolled her eyes.

"Please, his ego is already far too big," Emma begged, leaning back into him.

"She's just jealous she isn't as devilishly handsome as me."

Ruby grinned at the both of them and felt herself relax completely. She'd had her doubts about everything over the past week or so, but everything had worked out for the best. Emma was happy with someone she clearly loved, her father wasn't in any place to threaten either of them, and Ruby could protect them from Regina.

There was still the tiny matter of when Emma would be coming home, but she didn't want to ruin the pleasant mood. She knew that if Emma would have been unhappy on the sea, it would have been easier. But she was happy, and Ruby knew her pirate would not be welcomed into castle life.

But they would talk about that later.

\-----

Snow leaned against the stained glass window and watched stared out at the warped forest and sky. She'd just sent the note, and she knew it would take a while to reach Emma, but her mind was jumping to the worst possible conclusions. It wasn't good for her psyche and people were beginning to notice how frazzled she'd gotten.

The longer her husband and daughter were away, the more anxious she got. Castle business was tiring and boring. She couldn't stay focused, even when it was as important as failing irrigation systems. All she wanted to do was abandon her post and go after find her family her self. After all, women were the only ones who ever got things done.

It was then that she saw the dot. It appeared from several miles away and slowly grew into a dove, her dove. She was sure of it. But she knew it could very well still have a note attached to it's foot, which would mean that Emma had not gotten her message and was still in grave danger. She threw open the window and the bird rested on the sil.

Snow's heart stuttered as she spotted the piece of parchment. But it was much smaller. It could have worn away from all of the flying. Or Emma could have sent a reply. Quickly, she slipped the parchment from the bird's foot and opened it. The dove was gone in a moment, but Snow was already reading the short response.

_I love you._

Snow didn't exactly need a signature to know it was from her daughter. And it was clear in everything she'd failed to write that she would not be returning home despite the danger. Of coarse she wanted her daughter home safe and sound, but she couldn't help but be a little proud of her. She wasn't letting a little danger slow her down. Snow used to be just the same. 

Snow folded the note and slipped it into her bodice. She would get some tea then tend to some important matters. Maybe her peace of mind would last long enough for her to actually get some sleep. There was still her husband to worry about, but eventually he would come to his senses and come home. 

She just hoped he returned before Emma and Jones. 

\-----

Ruby and Graham had just settled in for the night when the nausea hit.

Sure, she'd been nervous about being curled up with Graham on the little Cot that Jones, _Killian_ , had set up. But once Graham had pulled her close, any nervousness she'd had vanished. It was just Graham. So when her stomach lurched just a few moments later, it wasn't because of him, but because of the sudden movement of the ship. 

They both sat up with a jolt as the cot skidded a few inches to the left. Certainly that wasn't normal. "Maybe we should go check with the Captain," Graham suggested. She whole heartedly agreed. "But you should change first," he added. Ruby glanced down at herself and thought maybe that was for the best as well. 

"Right."

As graham pulled on a shirt and she wrapped her red cloak around her night gown, the ship began to sway with vigor. They carefully made there way into the small hallway and found the Captain's quarters devoid of both Killian and Emma. That couldn't be good. Ruby lead the way on deck and was immediately assualted by buckets of water. 

Rain was pounding down on everything, making it difficult to see, but Ruby could make out the most of it. The entire crew was on deck, scrambling about looking a little frantic. Some were pulling on ropes, one was climbing the mast, another was trying to stand up on the slippery wood. And that didn't even count how many people were yelling to be heard over others. It was a wonder she heard Emma over the onslaught. 

"But how did it come on so fast?!" She shouted. She was standing beside Killian at the mast, both completely drenched, and him straining to keep the ship from getting tossed about to badly. 

"Sometimes they just come out of no where!" He answered, turning to her briefly.

From behind her, Ruby felt graham pull her hood over her head. It wasn't much, but it blocked out some of the rain, and she felt a swell of affection for him. Some thought he was heartless because he preferred the company of animals to people, but she could see the real him. One of the most thoughtful people she'd ever met. He place a hand on the small of her back to urge her forward, and she was pulled from her fond thoughts. 

The pair rushed towards the Emma and Killian. The ship was incredibly unsteady, and they had to hold onto the railing as the approached. He seemed more relieved then Ruby would have expected to see them. "Oh thank heavens, would you please take this bloody woman below deck!" He called out. Ruby started. 

"Excuse me?" Emma crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, but he didn't even look. 

"Aye, you heard me. It isn't safe, and if i'm going to focus, I need you safe," he said. Ruby stepped forward, not needing to hear more. Killian was an upstanding gent and all, but Emma was her priority. 

"Emma, come with us. He'll be fine up here." But Emma was having none of that. She stepped away before Ruby could grab her arm. Well she'd definitely gotten more outspoken. Ruby was hardly equipped to drag her friend down stairs while a storm was raging. With her luck they'd both go tumbling over board. 

"Absolutely not! I won't leave you here alone!" Killian muttered something under his breath then shouted back at her. 

"Love, just do this one thing, please! I promise I'll be just fine, I've done this before!" 

While Emma was deliberating, Ruby grabbed her friend and pulled her away. Killian nodded to her in thanks then called for Mr. Smee at the top of his lungs. Among all of the commotion, she could see that little red hat bobbing towards the Captain as the made their way back. Graham kept a steady grip on them both and they held the railing in case they lost their footing on the slippery, rolling deck. 

But that wasn't what caused it. A behemoth man lugging two barrels rushed past them, jostling all three of them and sending them against the rail of the ship. Ruby watched in slow motion as Graham lost his grip and Emma slipped over the edge, falling into the dark waters and disappearing instantly. 

Ruby watched wide eyed as her friend failed to resurface. She turned frantically to call to Killian. There had to be something he could do. But he'd seen it and was already running towards them, securing a rope around his midsection. The other end seemed to be tied to a sturdy beam. Suddenly Graham was yanking her out of the way as Killian jumped over the rail and dived into the ocean. 

Ruby couldn't hear anything. Her whole world revolved around that small patch of water as Killian dove, then came back up. Then dove again and again until she was sure he wouldn't be able to move any more. That water had to be freezing and not even the exertion seemed like enough to negate that. 

He wouldn't find her. 

As Graham pulled her tightly to him, she felt a deeper pain than ever before. It was worse than never having known her parents. Worse than when she'd still thought she couldn't be a human and a wolf. Emma was her best friend, her partner in crime, like a sister to her. And she was gone in a second like she'd never existed at all. 

She vaguely heard Smee giving orders to pull him up, but Ruby couldn't see anything anymore. Whether it was the tears or the rain, her vision was too blurry to make out anything more than a black figure flopping back onto the deck. In a moment he was on his feet and shouting at anyone within distance to let him go back in. 

If she'd had any reason to doubt his love before, it had been wiped away. Killian was absolutely mad to go back in, but all Ruby could think about was that fact that Emma was well and truly gone. No matter what he did, he wouldn't have been able to change that. And she knew he knew it too. But Emma wouldn't have wanted him to go down trying. 

So without thinking too hard about it, Ruby pulled away from Graham, eliciting a confused, almost hurt, face. It occurred to her that he might have been thinking about what it was like to be Killian in that moment. He needed the comfort as much as she did. She felt a twinge, but ignored it. She needed to handle their Captain first. 

Ruby scanned the floor, finding a loose board and hefting it up. Just as Killian was turning to dive back into the open waters, Ruby swung at him, and the man dropped. Graham called her name, but it was too late. Killian was out like a light. At the very least, he wouldn't try to kill himself until morning. 

The problem with not thinking things through, however, was that there were repercussions for most of those stupid actions. Like being thrown into the brig by an angry crew who's captain you just tried to kill. Well you hadn't tried to kill him, but it looked much more suspicious to them. 

"I told you one of these days you would get yourself into real trouble," Graham muttered as he dropped onto a metal bench that was suspended on the wall. Ruby sat beside him trying to as optimistic about the whole ordeal as possible. 

"Maybe he won't be too angry when he wakes up," she hoped allowed. 

But that just made her think about how the first thing on his mind would be Emma. His loss. Which made her think about Emma. Which made her eyes water. And disappointed in her or not, Graham pulled her into his arms and tried his very best to comfort her, even though they both knew it just wasn't going to happen. 

That night, Ruby cried herself to sleep in the arms of Graham, wondering what it would all mean for the pirate upstairs who would never have that luxury again. 

\-----

When Killian woke, it was to the sun shining in his eyes. As amazing as the sun felt on his bare skin, he knew something was wrong. It didn't take long for the events of the previous night to flash before his eyes. Emma. It could have been a dream, he told himself, but she wasn't beside him on his bed. And his clothing sat in a soggy pile beside the bed.

Oh God, Emma. 

Killian hunched over, suddenly finding it hard to breath, his eyes watering. She couldn't be gone, she just- she couldn't. And she didn't feel gone. But he'd watched them make their way across the deck, watched her tumble overboard. Searched beneath the freezing, pitch black waters and come up with nothing.

It was like Milah all over again. Watching with no control as the woman he loved was snatched from his grasp. Only this was so much worse. It was Emma. Sweet, beautiful, perfect Emma. And he would never see her, or touch her, or kiss her again. His next thought was like a blade slicing him in half. 

He would never prove to her that he could be more.

She was the only one who had ever pushed him to try and now she was gone. He didn't even know what to do with himself. There was the obvious pull to do what he'd always done: Survive. But he didn't want to go back to that life. Forever sailing the seas, taking what he wanted when he wanted. It would be a meaningless life after what he'd lost. 

Or could just stay in bed forever. Every move he made was a move that Emma never would. Because of him. It was his fault. He should have sent her down sooner, or taken her down himself, or found her when she went under. People didn't just disappear, she had to have been somewhere in that murky water.

Then there was the idea of just ending it all and sending himself over the plank. He didn't really see any purpose to his life. Without her, anything he'd ever wanted, ever would want, couldn't mean much. And it was silly, he knew, to place everything in one person, but he'd done it. And he'd lost.

Killian forced himself to stand, move, because sitting in bed whining wouldn't help him decide anything. He would give it a day, he thought as he pulled on a clean pair of pants and a loose shirt, wiped his eyes. Then he would decide whether or not he wanted to tie that blasted noose around his neck.

But as he climbed on deck, it occurred to him that someone was missing. Well two someones. He had half a mind not to care after Ruby hit him upside the head with a plank of wood, he still felt the bump, but he figured she was just trying to stop him from drowning himself. It was a noble cause even if he didn't believe in it. 

"Mr. Smee!" He called. The man appeared instantly as always. 

"It's good to see you're feeling better, Captain. The Jolly Roger retained some damage, but we-" Killian cut him off before he could keep on. His head was throbbing and the sun was unbearably bright, as if mocking him for what he'd lost. 

"Where are our two guests?"

"Well, locked in the brig, Captain. The girl was trying to start a mutiny," he explained. Yes, he supposed it would have looked like that to everyone else. Killian bit back a sigh. He would have to take them back. 

And just like that the perfect plan had formed in his head. 

He would take the Huntsman and Ruby back to their kingdom and demand an audience with the queen. He would deliver the news because that suddenly felt like the right thing to do. He didn't want anyone who didn't love Emma the way they did to have to say those words to the Snow White and watch her realize she'd just lost her daughter. 

Then he would be hung. 

It all worked out perfectly. He deserved it after all. It was his fault that Emma wasn't safe and sound at that very moment, and there was nothing he would ever be able to do to make that up to her parents or to himself. He deserved to hung for murder, and if Charming had any say in it, he certainly would.

"Bring them to me," Killian ordered. Mr. Smee meant to argue, but thought better of it. Killian was not to be trifled with after the last twenty four hours he'd been through. 

Ruby and the Huntsman looked fine, if not a little rumpled. Her cheeks were tear stained and his had bags under them. He wondered if he looked the same. Probably. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was moving. He needed to keep moving or his resolve might fail him. He'd chosen his path. 

As awful as he knew it would be to look the queen in the eye and tell her the truth, it would be worth it to finally be free of his hell. Over 200 hundred years and he had nary a thing to show for it. If that wasn't a hint that his time had come, he didn't know what was. Surviving had served him well in the past, but it was finally over. 

"Are you both ready to go home?" He kept his expression carefully blank. It seemed Graham had similar practice because Ruby was the only one who seemed surprised by his act. Ruby opened her mouth to say something, eyebrows drawn together, but Graham placed a hand on her shoulder that clearly stopped her. Killian felt a twinge of envy at the gesture. 

"Yes, we are," Ruby said with false cheer. Obviously false. She was no actor. "Where will you be going?" Now that Emma's gone. Killian tried to ignore the implication.

"With you, lass. I'd like to be the one to tell the queen." Ruby stepped forward in alarm. 

"You can't be serious. She'll Lock you up until Charming gets back to tie the noose." 

"So be it. It isn't as though I wouldn't deserve it," Killian said resolutely. There would be no swaying him. He would be with Emma soon. That thought gave him no comfort as soon after he was surprised by a blow to the face. Red Riding Hood had a mean right hook. Killian could do nothing but stare and touch his cheek. Had that actually just happened?

"You absolutely do not! Emma would be furious if she knew what you were doing!" Ruby yelled, but Graham was already grabbing her and pulling her away.

"I think we just need a minute to c-"

"Don't you dare say calm down," Ruby warned him. Graham let her go immediately as if he'd been burned. He clearly knew what she was capable of when she got angry. "She would never let you do this if she was here. You need to think this through," Ruby advised him earnestly. He had thought it through though. 

"You don't think I've run all of the scenarios out in my head? That's all I've been doing since I woke up and this is the only one that makes any bloody sense. And I know Emma wouldn't let me do this if she was here, but she isn't. Want to know why? Because of me. I couldn't save her. So now I'm going to go tell one of the only people who loved her more than me, that she isn't here anymore, because I wasn't good enough."

"And truthfully, I hope she hates me for it. I hope she doesn't even wait for the return of her husband. I hope the queen sends me to the gallows because I'm a pirate and I'm not meant to have a happy ending. It's been proven time and time again, and I'm done fighting it. For once, I'm going to take responsibility for what I've done and maybe I'll be lucky enough to die before I cause anyone else's death!" 

Killian might have been breathing a little bit heavier, and maybe the whole rant had been over kill, but he felt a hell of a lot better getting it off his chest. Or at least, he felt less sad. That was quickly getting replaced by anger. At himself for making such God awful decisions, and the world dealing him such a sorry deck.

"Then there's no convincing you otherwise?" Ruby asked one final time. He didn't need to answer, he could see it in her disappointed eyes. 

Well, that was just one more person he'd let down. 


	15. Dust to Dust

Two Weeks Later  
\----------------

"Release him!" Snow ordered, standing. 

The guards flinched but neither followed her order. They kept firm grips on both of Killian's arms. He could see her beginning to get beyond angry, and he wondered why she was going through all of the trouble after what he'd done. Her mind would probably be changed when he told her what had happened to her only daughter. 

"But the king bade us not to release him under any circumstances." The man to his left repeated once again. 

"Well by my order, that man is now under my protection, so release him." Killian watched as she stared down at the guards from her throne and wondered how they'd had the courage to say no to her once. He felt a twinge as he realized how much Emma must have gotten from her mother. Surely her stubbornness. 

The guards finally released him, and with a wave of Snow's hand, they were dismissed. She watched them impatiently as they exited the throne room, and didn't relax until the doors had shut behind them. The woman sagged against her seat, letting a hand fall over her face. Killian wasn't too sure what he was supposed to do. It probably wouldn't have been best to just blurt it out. 

"Killian, correct?" She finally asked, after he'd begun to wonder if he was supposed to escort himself to the brig. 

"Yes, your majesty." A hint of a smile peeked out from beneath her hand. She looked up at Killian, resting her chin on her hand. 

"I think we're beyond those formalities, seeing as you ran away with my daughter." 

"I'm sorry about that," Killian tried, wondering why they hadn't let Ruby and Graham in with them. They'd all strode into the castle together, but it all of the confusion they must have gotten separated.

"No you aren't," she said, standing and coming closer to inspect the man. "From Emma's response, I had assumed that she wouldn't be returning." It wasn't the golden question so he didn't offer up the statement that was making it hard for him to breath. 

"We didn't intend to."

"Then why have you come here of all places, and where is my daughter?" 

Killian let his gaze drop to the floor but it didn't stay stay there. He wouldn't look at his feet while he told her. Killian lifted his gaze, and was surprised by the lack of suspicion in the queen's eyes. She didn't think Emma was anywhere in harms way. Or any ill fate had befallen her. Because Emma had told them he would protect her. 

That made it so much worse. He could see in his mind her anger. How she would look at him not as her guest, but as the man who had murdered her daughter. She was becoming worried as he hesitated, he could see it, so he forced his lips to move before he could change his mind. She deserved the truth. 

"Emma," he began, unable to bear the sound of her name on his lips. "She did not come with me because I came bearing terrible news. I'm so sorry, your majesty. I tried to be better for her, I wanted to be a man she could someday be proud of, but I failed her. I failed her in every sense of the word."

He watched the fear crawl into her eyes. It slowly took hold of her until she was stepping closer than was wise. He was an unbound pirate after all. But she didn't seem to mind. She was staring at him like she was on the verge of something. "Killian, what are you saying?" 

"Emma was lost at sea." 

He truly hadn't meant to whisper it. He'd meant to sound confident and sure, so she wouldn't insist it was a mistake. He'd lost so many people, each a unique pain. But Emma's loss had been the worst, and he didn't want to relive that. To have to say, out loud, that Emma would never come back. Already he felt the tears gathering in his eyes, out of pain and sympathy for her.

The queen reacted slowly and in stages. First was the blinking. Like she was confused. Then as she turned away, he could see her hands fly to her mouth as her shoulders began to shake. Killian suddenly felt more connected with her than he'd ever felt with anyone. He knew her pain mirrored his own, and yet, he hadn't a clue how to comfort her. 

It had never occurred to him that he was always alone in his grief. He had absolutely no idea how to comfort someone. Let alone someone who was probably disgusted by even the sight of him. But when Snow turned back around, hands pressed over her mouth, there was nothing but indescribable pain in her eyes. And tears yet to be shed. 

To his astonishment, she threw her arms around the man. He hadn't been entirely sure how to react to the queen of the realm holding onto him and sobbing into his shoulder. So he pretended it was Emma and held her, though he was sure that eventually she would come to her senses and send him to the brig. 

She didn't. 

The queen cried into him as he patted her hair. She clung to him tightly. And Killian found himself gaining comfort in the embrace. There was someone who loved Emma even more than he did, and she was grieving with him of all people. It brought him to tears. When Snow pulled away, they were both red eyed and blurry. 

"Thank you for coming to tell me," she whispered, grabbing his free hand and squeezing it. Then she pulled away to wipe her eyes. Killian was in awe that she felt the need to thank him for anything after what he'd done. 

"But aren't you furious with me? After everything I've done, I should be hung." In her defense, the queen tried to smile. But it was a pitiful thing.

"You didn't do anything Killian. Emma wanted to leave, so she did. If anything, I'm glad she got to find love before..." The queen choked up and turned away. 

Killian tried to understand her view but he just couldn't. Was love really worth an early grave? He thought so. He would have chosen Emma every time if he'd known it would drive him to death. But he was hardly anything. If Emma were given a choice, he was sure she would have opted to have never met him. She had family, friends, and a kingdom to worry about. 

But he was hardly going to argue with a grieving queen. 

"How?" She didn't meet his eye as she slowly made her way back to her throne. When he sat, he saw that her eyes had taken on a hazy quality. She wasn't looking at him, but through him.

"We'd just received your letter." Killian began, staring up at the dazed queen. He wasn't even sure she was listening, but he suddenly found that he wanted to tell her about it. Tell someone at least, because it still didn't feel real. "We'd docked with the intention of letting Emma's search party find us, but only Ruby and Graham stumbled upon the ship. They insisted on staying with us regardless of the coming danger. But that night a storm came out of the blue. Normally, I'd have seen her coming, but-" Killian cut off. It was completely his fault. God, he'd been so fucking stupid, so distracted he didn't see the storm. Hundreds of years at sea and he hadn't seen it coming. 

"Go on," the queen murmured, still not meeting her gaze. 

"She was right behind me as we rushed on deck. There was water everywhere, my crew were all trying desperately to keep The Jolly Roger afloat. I told her to go back below deck where she would be safe. She refused because she's Emma, and began launching completely rational questions at me even though we were in the middle of a serious situation. Then Ruby and Graham came up and I was able to convince them to take her. But then I blinked and she was gone." Killian's throat closed up as he relived it. She'd been right there, then gone. In less than a second, his reason for living had disappeared. 

"I tried find her. I dove in, but it was pitch black and she didn't surface. My crew pulled me up too soon. Maybe if I'd had a little more time I could have gotten to her. Maybe if-" Snow stood abruptly and waved a hand, silencing his near mental breakdown. 

"The guards will escort you to Emma's bedchambers. I need to be alone." Snow barely looked at his as she glided out of the room. "Thank you for telling me," she murmured at the doors. 

"I loved her," Killian said surely. It was the only thing he was sure about, and for some reason it seemed important that she know that.

The queen nodded and disappeared behind the doors.

Killian stood in the center of the empty throne room. His lungs weren't working quite right, and it was a bit difficult to see, and he had not idea why he was still alive. Or why in the world he would be sleeping in Emma's bedroom and not the dungeon.

A moment later, two men appeared, flanking him. They glared down at him, shoving him forward. Through the doors and down endless corridors they went as Killian tried to plan out his next move. He'd planned to be dead. Wanted that. But as long as Snow was in charge, that didn't seem likely. He would have to wait for the king to arrive. 

With a sigh, Killian blinked away the morbid thought. They'd stopped outside of her bedroom. The guards took position beside the door. It was odd, but he couldn't help but think he'd never been guarded before. He'd certainly never been considered that valuable to anyone. But then, they probably just wanted to make sure he didn't run. 

He took in the creme colored rugs and walls. The enormous canopy bed. The balcony. The doors that lead to her closet. And it had never hurt so badly than it did in that moment. He didn't belong in that beautiful room, and he shouldn't have been the one to return to it. 

Especially when everything looked as though she had just left. The bed was unkept, there was a gown pooled on the floor in the dressing room, and her balcony doors stood wide open, curtains billowing in the breeze. It looked like at any moment she would bound in and demand his attention. 

Killian knew if he was smart he would leave. Staying where she ate, and slept, and lived was a bad idea. Like rubbing salt water in the wound. But he couldn't stop his feet from moving towards her dressing room. Her clothes hung neatly aside from the single gown on the carpet. He let his fingers trail over the silken materials, bringing one to his his nose.

God, it still smelled like her. 

Killian let his eyes fall shut and pretended for a moment that she was there beside him, enveloping him in her perfume. The tears didn't come until he was stretched out on her bed, breathing in the scent that had been left on her pillows.

\-----

"Where's Killian? You didn't believe he was at fault, did you?" Ruby asked nervously as she burst through the door. Snow noted the girl's eyes were as puffy as she knew her own must have looked. But she needed to focus on what was important, not....that. With a deep breath, Snow stood from her bed and tightened her nightgown around herself. 

"Ruby, I need you to do something for me," Snow began, but she was interrupted by Ruby, who stormed over looking more confident and a little teary eyed. 

"That's not fair. He could have disappeared. Or lied to us. He knew coming here was surely a death sentence. And I know he truly loved Emma. You didn't see him when he went over. It was heartbreaking. And Emma would be furious!" Ruby ranted. Snow was surprised at Ruby, jumping to Killian's defense. When had she gotten so attached?

"No harm will come to Killian," Snow assured her, gently guiding Ruby to her bed and urging the girl to sit. "I am surprised by how adamantly you argued on his behalf though," Snow pointed out as she joined her. 

"Emma would just be so disappointed if something happened to him," Ruby said, voice wavering. 

"Oh, I know sweety," Snow said softly, pulling the girl into her arms. She fully intended to accept Killian the way they hadn't before. He'd loved her too, after all, and the best way to grieve was with others. And she had so many things to ask him. Like every detail of their time away. And she had so much to tell him. But that would come later. 

"I need you and Graham to bring James home." Snow pulled away so she could look into Ruby's red eyes. "He needs to know before we can announce it." Ruby's lips quivered, but she nodded. 

The women huddled together for a few minutes longer, seeking comfort in each other, before Ruby took her leave. She needed to gather her beau and her things if she was to leave by dawn. The king had to be brought home as soon as possible and they knew it. Once the queen was alone, the weight of the world seemed to crash onto her shoulders. 

She collapsed onto her bed and let out a choked sob. She cried for her daughter who had only been a baby. Who hadn't gotten to marry, or have children, or be a great ruler. She cried for the man down the hall who she was certain was doing the same. Felt the same harrowing loss. And she cried for her husband, who was hundreds of miles away and knew nothing of the loss. She envied his ignorance and cried harder. 

\-----

Regina laughed to herself as the man scurried off as fast as he could. People would do anything to protect their pathetic families. Love made them weak. But that wasn't what she wanted to think about. She was more concerned with what the palace guard had told her. He'd been eavesdropping on the queen for her and had picked up a delicious little nugget. Princess Emma was Dead. 

The news was like a balm for her soul. Snow White was probably lying in her bed feeling the same pain Regina felt years ago when Daniel had been taken from her. She cackled as she strolled down the dark streets. She was finally getting everything she'd ever wanted. Sure, she hadn't been able to deal the blow, but it was a coincidence. The curse she'd placed on Emma had simply been a promise of Regina's return, but fate had done it for her. 

There was one curious thing.

She had no idea why the guard had insisted that Captain Hook, the one who had delivered the news, was staying. She'd heard of him, and if there was one thing she'd heard often, it was that he survived, and he was a villain. There was no way he would stay in the palace of the king and queen whose daughter he'd killed. So what had been his angle?

Maybe he was trying to make a grab at the throne. That was the only conclusion she could come to. But she wasn't going to let that happen. She would give the precious Charmings their time to grieve, and she would plan. She just needed a way to get rid of them all without her magic. She hadn't been able to do it with her powers so it would take a special idea. 

With a smile, she shrugged to herself. There was no hurry.

\-----

The next morning, the sun rose on a palace filled with people who hadn't slept a moment. The queen, Killian, Ruby, and Graham gathered in the courtyard as the sun peaked above the forest. Four guards stood by, on edge, as they hadn't been told a thing of recent events. Ruby and Graham mounted their horses after a short goodbye, and rode off. Killian and Snow trailed back into the castle silently. 

No one saw the small, yellow ship sailing off into the horizon. Likely, none of them ever would again.


	16. Ghost

Two Weeks Ago  
\-----------------

She coughed, feeling the water move in her lungs. She forced her body upright as she hacked it all up. Then she could breathe again, but her throat felt like it had been shred to pieces. She swallowed thickly and lifted her head, eyes wandering. She was on a beach. The sun was high in the sky, blinding her. She realized she didn't recognize it, she realized, as she pushed herself to her feet. She wobbled slightly and had to grab a nearby boulder to hold herself up. 

As she was leaning on it, a breeze brushed past her and she shivered. Her tattered dress was torn and ragged, barely covering enough to be decent. She searched for something to cover herself with, but there was nothing on the barren beach. Nothing on the sand that is. There was, however, a girl submerged in the water a few feet away, flicking her fin idly in the water.

Yes, her fin. 

She gasped and scurried backward hurriedly, falling on her butt in the sand as the girl looked at her. "Oh, you're awake!" The odd, fish girl said excitedly, clapping her hands. 

"Who are you?" The blonde asked, surprised at how scratchy her voice sounded. She knew it didn't usually sound like that. Did it always tremble like that? 

"Oh gosh, where are my manners? I'm Ariel. I saved you." She said bashfully, swimming closer. 

"S-saved me from what?" She asked wearily. If she pretended that the tail wasn't there, Ariel seemed like a nice, normal girl. She definitely got points for rescue.

"Drowning. You were going deeper and your ship was already too far off to catch and I know I'm not supposed to go around saving girls, but I couldn't help it." Ariel babbled, as she drew nearer, stepping out of the water to her own two feet. She didn't remember being on any ship, or falling off for that matter. But she was distracted by Ariel. 

The young blonde blinked in shock. Ariel was wearing a long green and blue skirt. Had she mistaken that for a fish tail? No, she'd definitely seen the tail. But then how had the girl done that. And she was standing, offering her a hand like nothing odd had happened at all. "How did you do that?" 

"Oh!" Ariel looked down at her feet in surprise and wiggled her toes in a way that she would have thought was cute if she wasn't so confused. "Right, I just assume that everyone is as used to that as I am. I have this bracelet," she pointed to it. It was a lovely bejeweled thing,"that lets me trade my fins for legs whenever I go on land. I don't mean to brag or anything but Ursula gave it to me." 

She just stared at the mermaid in awe as she pulled herself to her feet. Ariel retracted her hand with a slight frown. "Who's Ursula?" She asked, pretty sure that was the least important question to be asked but it was all she could wrap her head around. "And where are we?"

Ariel grabbed the strap of her small satchel absent mindedly. "Well Ursula is the Goddess of the Sea. But that doesn't matter. What matters is getting you back home. We're on the edge of the enchanted forest but there are many kingdoms in this land. Where are you from? And what's your name?" 

The girl brushed herself off and thought back to the last thing she could remember....nothing. She didn't remember a ship, or a place, or even her name. "Oh, God," she muttered, holding her head and squeezing her eyes shut. That couldn't be possible. She had to be someone, everyone was someone. 

"Oh, don't worry! We'll get you back to your family in no time," Ariel assured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

"No, no, no," she whispered, feeling tears gather in her eyes. "You won't. I don't remember a thing. I don't know if I have a family or where they would even be. I can't recall my name or what my birthday is or anything. Oh God." she felt pressure behind her eyes that surely meant any second she would dissolve into tears and never recover. She was nobody. 

"That's okay," Ariel said a bit unsurely. "You just need a little time to remember, is all." She wished she could believe her new friend, her only friend, but it was horrifying, not having a single memory in her head, hard as she tried. "First things first, we're going to have to give you a name. What would you like to be called?"

She couldn't think of a single thing. Her mind was completely blank. She didn't know what her name could have possibly been before she lost her memory. If she ever had any. But Ariel was right, she did need to be called by something. "How about Eva," she suggested. It didn't sound quite right to her ears but it was close enough. And it helped a little. Having a name helped her breath a little easier. And Ariel was going to help her find her home. She had nothing to worry about.

"That's perfect." Ariel grinned widely and took her hand, Eva's hand. "We can start by asking around and seeing if anyone knows you. I know the prince, Eric, and he's great with faces." She said the last part more than a little dreamily, and Eva could guess what was going on there. But as Ariel began to tug her towards the woods, she felt herself resisting. 

"Could we just stay a while?" She asked without thinking. 

It was just a glint of the sun against the water that had caught her eye, but as she stared at the clear blue ocean, something called to her. The water was so peaceful as it rose up against the sand then rushed back. It was crazy seeing as she nearly drowned, but all she wanted to do was get closer, maybe take a swim. She felt it in her core, the sea would lead her home. 

So they sat in the sand and watched the sea.

\-----

Meeting Eric had been interesting. As Eva and Ariel strolled into the palace, no one stopped them. The guards, men, and women smiled or greeted her as though she was one of them. It was odd, because Eva had a vague idea of royalty, stuffy, strict, grim, and Ariel was none of those things. But she was enlightened as soon as they entered the grand ball room where a tall, dark haired man in a naval uniform was staring out one of the great windows at the ocean. 

"Eric!" Ariel called, throwing herself into his arms. The man turned quickly and caught her like they'd done it a million times. Eva watched as they stared at each other like nothing else in the world existed. She couldn't help but feel a whole in her heart. She knew there was something she was missing but she couldn't put her finger on it.

It was only a moment later when Eric noticed her and pulled away. "And who is this? A friend from home?" He asked suggestively. 

Ariel bit back a laugh, shaking her head. "No, this is Eva. She's a bit away from home and I was wondering if she could stay here until she's sorted out," Ariel explained nervously. Eva watched them just as anxiously, remembering how indecently she was dressed. And asking a prince for help? She was no one. She didn't deserve it. She could take care of herself. But Eric didn't seem to agree with the sentiment. 

"Of coarse she can stay with us. I'll arrange for a guest room to opened and some gowns to be set aside." Ariel squealed and jumped up and down clapping. 

"Oh, this will be such fun!"

"Are you sure I wouldn't be a burden?" Eva interrupted, stepping closer to the excited pair. "I have no idea if I'll ever remember my home is or who I am." 

"Don't say that! We want to help. If we don't who will?" Ariel asked, crossing her arms. "Now lets go get you cleaned up." She grabbed Eva's arm and began pulling her down the hall. "We'll see you at dinner Eric," she called behind her. 

Eva let the girl drag her, unable to fight her. She didn't have a thing to wear, no family or place to go, and she felt awful. She could let them entertain her for the one night if they insisted. She could clean herself up, rest, eat, and get out of their hair. Eva was certain of one thing, no matter who she was, she didn't want to be taken care of or coddled. 

Ariel lead her down a dozen winding halls that each looked identical to the last. She couldn't imagine living in such a massive, confusing place. From the outside, the castle on the hill had seemed enormous, but it was even larger from the inside. Eventually, they came to a large, oak door that lead into a bathing room. Eva's eyes must have grown the size of saucers at the size of it all. 

Against one wall was a line of intricate stained glass windows. They reached from the floor to the ceiling and overlooked the ocean. Light poured through, bringing her attention to the porcelain tub that sat in the center of the room. It was hand painted with tiny nautical detail. Fish and shells and coral. It was absolutely beautiful. 

"The maids should be bringing in the warm water any minute. If you want I can help you with what's left of your dress, and brush out your hair," Ariel offered. She moved to the vanity that sat in one corner and motioned for Eva to sit a the stool before it. 

She was, probably, a grown woman. She didn't need anyone brushing her hair for her, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to argue because she was alone and scared and she felt like a little girl. "Thank you," Eva murmured, taking the seat. Ariel picked up a teal comb and began gently running it through her ends, then working her way up. The way she did it made Eva think that someone else had done that for her once. Maybe a mother. But the uncertainty hurt more than she could bear at the moment. 

As Ariel worked her way through Eva's hair, she stared hard at her reflection. Her blonde tangles were slowly becoming smooth waves that fell to her waist. Her eyes were large, blue things that looked a little watery. Her skin had a slightly pink tinge to it, probably from the sun. And mostly, she looked sad. Eva couldn't help but wonder whether she'd always looked that way. 

Was she going to recover her memory and find that she had no family or loved ones? Did she live in a dank hovel where she was treated poorly day in and day out? Sure, there was a chance she had a happy home somewhere, but what if she didn't? Maybe it would be better if she stayed with Ariel for a while longer. Maybe her new friend could help her start over. 

"Eva, you have to stand if you plan to get these things off. They've already brought the water." Eva blinked. 

The bath was steaming and her hair was wavy and shiny. "Of coarse."

She stood and slipped out of the rest of her dress, too worried about her lack of memories to care for modesty. Turns out enough of it had been destroyed that she hadn't needed Ariel's help at all. The fabric pooled at her feet as her friend took her seat. Eva dipped a toe into the hot water and groaned, before sliding in completely. The tub was far too large for her, but it was delightful none the less. And she could feel the tension practically oozing from her body. 

"So I suppose you're wondering about Eric and I," Ariel ventured, as Eva's eyes slid closed. 

"It had crossed my mind," she replied slowly, gently swishing her fingers through the water. 

"Yes well, we're in love!" She whispered it excitedly like the secret was just her own. Eva couldn't help but smile. For whatever reason, she knew that was wonderful. 

"I'm very happy for you," Eva said truthfully, glancing over at the beaming girl.

"Thank you. There is the trouble of my father, but he's always been a bit cranky," she joked, twirling a piece of her hair. 

"How did you meet?"

"Well it all started about six months ago. I had been swimming close to the shore looking for treasures when I spotted Eric. He was just walking along the beach, appreciating the view. It was nothing abnormal, humans did that sort of thing all the time. But there was something different about him. So I watched him each time he visited. Soon I was fixated on him. I would spy on him at all hours, listen in to learn about him."

"Then a fortnight ago, there was a ball. I prayed to Ursula that she might let me attend so I could finally meet my prince. She appeared to me and granted me this bracelet, that lets me walk on land. I attended the ball, met Eric, and we spent the entire evening together. It was love at first sight, and he was so understanding when I told him what, who, I truly was. We've been inseparable since." Ariel explained, stars in her eyes. 

Eva had to admit it was a sweet story. She wished them the best. "It must be true love," she said without thinking. She couldn't remember where she had heard that. She didn't want to linger on that, she thought, putting it from her mind. Eva stood and grabbed the soap, preparing to scrub herself down. 

"It seems we've both experienced that," Ariel teased, motioning towards the purple marks that had caused Eva to freeze.

There were four bruises that looked suspiciously like smudges on her right hip. She scrubbed at them furiously but they only hurt. Like bruises. Like fingerprint sized bruises that implied she'd definitely experienced love in her short life. Eva covered them with her hands hurriedly and tried to convince herself that they'd come from something else. She wasn't wearing a ring, there was no possible way she had a lover out in the world. 

"Not to say that that is a bad thing," Ariel said, rushing to her side. "It just means that someone misses you."

"Or that I was a common whore." Eva hadn't meant to sound so bitter about it, but it was a possibility. She could have no family, no home, and the least respectable station in life possible. 

"No, this means that someone cares for you. Deeply." Ariel insisted, taking the soap from Eva's fingers and procuring a towel. "Now let's get you into a proper gown for dinner."

There would be no arguing that matter, but the damage was done. Eva would not be searching for her memories. 

When the swan necklace was discovered among her clothes, Eva put it in a small box beside her bed and forced herself to forget about it.

\-----  
One week ago  
\-----

His lips pulled away from hers, gently trailing down her throat, sucking, nibbling, then moving on. He paused his journey at her breasts. Took one in his mouth, toyed with her until her fingers were fisted in the sheets, then moved onto the next. He ran a trail down her belly, slowly, his fingers stroking her all the while. He stopped short and she held her breath. 

He wasn't touching her anymore. Just his hand on her hip, holding her down, but she wanted him so badly. He'd been teasing her for so long that all she could think about was all of him inside of her. They were both damp with sweat but she was burning up. She was wound so tightly she knew it wouldn't take much to send her over the edge. And she could tell from his wicked grin that he knew it. 

"Tell me what you want, love."

\-----

Eva shot up in bed, gasping and holding a hand to her chest. Hurriedly, she jumped out of bed and pulled her night gown up to her stomach. There on her hips, where the bruises had been only days ago, there was only unblemished, pale skin. Eva couldn't tell if she was disappointed or relieved. There was no longer proof of her sordid hobbies, but she couldn't help but feel like she'd lost something. 

And the dreams she had been having weren't exactly helping. Every night it was the same thing, she thought with a sigh as she pulled on a robe. The man who's features she couldn't make out, would be doing absolutely filthy things to her and she begged him for it. Then she woke up a hot mess filled with remorse and confusion. She didn't know who he was but he was making it substantially harder to not want her memories back. 

There was a good chance she had just been a paid woman, that the dalliance had meant nothing. Or that she loved him and he hadn't felt the same way. So there was no point in dredging up those painful memories. It was much better for everyone if she just moved on. She resolved to do so as she tied her robe shut and strolled towards the library. 

Eva toyed with the end of her braid idly. She hadn't let her hair loose since that first night. Her hair was always loose in the dreams. And too many people stared, she didn't like it. But the gowns were not optional. Eric wanted to treat Ariel's new friend well and Ariel wanted Eva to feel like a princess. So she was sitting in the library reading a book in a nightgown that was far too nice for her. 

But aside from the overdone clothing and the mysterious dreams, Eva had been very much enjoying her time in the castle with Ariel. The girl was always so happy to see Eva and make her happy. It was nice. And Eric was charming, and intelligent, and sweet. And all of the chamber maids and servants and guards were kind. Eva would be sad to go, but she would have to go eventually. 

It was clear to her that she needed to be her own woman. She couldn't rely on others to take care of her. And she wanted to catch up for lost time. If she wasn't going to get her memories back, not that she was trying all that hard, she needed to make up for all of the years she lost. That meant doing new things, seeing the world. Not staying locked up in a castle where she was comfortable.

"Evaaa!!!!!" Eva looked up at the library doors just as Ariel burst through, tears in her eyes. 

They had grown close over the last week. Ariel had told Eva everything about her and Eric, the trouble with her father not accepting him, and everything in between. In return, Eva had told her about her own feelings and not wanting to find her family, much to Ariel's dismay. The girl was adamant on the fact that Emma had a husband or beau. But if she did, wouldn't Eva remember him? But aside from that, they'd grown close. So Eva shot to her feet at the sight of the girl in tears. 

"What's happened?" She asked fearing the worst as Ariel pulled her into a suffocating hug.

"Eric proposed!" She nearly screamed into Eva's. They pulled apart and Eva found that they were tears of joy. And on her finger sat an ornate ring. 

"It's beautiful! I'm so happy for the both of you, you deserve it." Ariel pulled her into another hug and the girls squealed in excitement, though Eva had to admit she wasn't much a squealer. 

"Oh will you please help me plan it? I know you wanted to leave, but could you stay just until the ceremony?" 

Eva looked at those huge eyes and couldn't have said no if she tried. Ariel was her best friend, her only friend. Eva wouldn't have missed it for the world. "Of coarse I'll stay and help."

Ariel grinned and kissed Eva on the cheek smartly. "Wonderful! I have to go tell Father, but then I'll be back and we can begin planning," she explained excitedly, hurrying out the door. 

When she was gone, Eva was surprised to find that she didn't like how quite it had gotten. So maybe she was secretly a little glad that the wedding was postponing her departure. She just needed a little more time before she ventured off into the world. She was after all just a young woman. She needed to prepare adequately so she didn't end up tipping off of a ship again. 

With a small grin, she headed to her bedchambers to change into a proper gown. Very soon the sun would be rising, and shes suspected Ariel would return soon after that with more than a few ideas about her perfect wedding. And she did. The mermaid flooded her with every idea she could think of for the next week until Eva thought maybe she might dream of flowers instead of that mysterious man. 

That was not the case.

\-----  
Present  
\-----

Somewhere far off, a pirate and a queen were making the slow trek back towards their castle where they would mourn the loss of their loved one. But in another, entirely different castle, the opposite feeling was in the air. Prince Eric was to be married and the entire castle was alive with the news, working to put on the celebration of the century.


	17. Til I Forget About You

As the sunlight spilled through stained glass windows into the grand dinning room, Killian glanced up from the oatmeal before him. He'd barely eaten in weeks and he hadn't been eager to change that. Snow seemed to be feeling the same. Their eyes met and she attempted a smile, maybe wanting to lift the mood, but he couldn't manage to return it. How pitiful he'd become. 

"Join me for tea." Snow offered in that sweet way that made it clear it wasn't optional. Killian had always vowed he would be loyal to no king or queen, but Snow made him want to reconsider. There was just something genuinely good about her. Emma had that in her. 

"I would be honored," he said, standing and pulling out the queen's chair. She graced him with a nod before leading him into a much smaller sitting room. There were two chairs beside each other, a small table, and a tea set placed carefully a top it. A maid stood by the door but Snow dismissed her with a wave. She dropped into her seat rather ungracefully, in a way that reminded him painfully of a relaxed Emma, and poured them both cups. He took his seat silently and accepted his cup, though he did not drink. 

"Lately, it seems like tea is the only thing I can hold down," she said conversationally, like they were talking about the weather. Killian had to smile.

"I can understand," he replied, placing his cup on the table. "Although I'm more partial to rum."

"I'm so surprised," Snow teased him, taking a sip. "I do hope you didn't introduce Emma to that habit. We kept her far from liquor."

And it was in that moment that Killian had what some might call an epiphany. Killian realized that before him sat a woman who knew everything about Emma that he didn't. He suddenly felt like a fool for not realizing it sooner. Ruby and Graham's departure gave him an opportunity to spend time with the woman who had known Emma best, and find comfort in that in a way he had not considered.

Greater than anything else was his sudden desire to ask Snow everything, and tell her everything. Yes, it hurt to talk about her, but the only way to feel better was to hurt together. And Killian knew that what hurt the most, the good memories, also made him feel closer to her. He didn't have many, but he knew Snow had to have endless perfect memories of Emma growing in the castle. He wanted to know them all by heart, wanted to tell her stories of his own, then he could greet the king with no regrets. 

Without hesitating, Killian pulled a flask from his jacket and took a swig. He tilted the rum towards Snow. She looked up from her tea wearily but accepted the flask and took a healthy swig. Killian smiled softly at her wince, so much like her daughter. He slipped it back into his pocket. "Tell me about her. Before me," he added, sliding his gaze to the queen. She did not hesitate, though he thought maybe her hands shook slightly as she placed her tea cup back onto the table.

"When Emma was younger, she'd been obsessed with swans. She'd never seen one but an old friend of ours had shown her his drawings from his journeys and she had fixated on the birds immediately. So for her seventh birthday, before she and her father were always at odds, James gave her this necklace with a tiny silver swan. She loved it obviously and the first thing she did after putting it on was run around the castle pretending she could fly, and calling herself the Swan Princess. She did it for weeks." Snow sighed softly and blinked rapidly. Killian could see it in his mind, clear as day. I tiny, blonde princess running through corridors with her arms spread wide. 

"That was quite the feat, keeping her hidden away for so long," Killian said more to himself. So Emma had always been a free spirit. 

"Not one I'm particularly proud of. We were too careful." Snow smiled tightly and reached for her cup. 

"Yes well, caring too much is hardly the worst blunder a parent ever made." Snow nodded softly and cleared her throat. 

"What about your time away? I can stow my curiosity no longer."

Killian began with one of his favorites. "The second night after we'd snuck away, we stretched out on the Jolly Roger's deck and watched the sun set and the stars come out. When all of the stars were finally visible, she was in such awe, that I couldn't believe I'd been able to do that for her. And it was so simple. I don't think I'd ever seen her appear so untouched by the rest of the world." Killian smiled softly at the memory. She had also had far too much rum, but he hadn't thought that fact was necessary. 

"She did love the stars," Snow said, voice breaking. Before he knew it she was crying. Then he was tearing up. They hardly lasted another minute before neither of them could speak. 

\-----

Eva stared at the mountain of parchment that sat before them and wondered how she and Ariel would ever get through it all. Who knew sending out wedding invitations would be such a trial? And with just them two, since Eric had other business to attend to, she was sure it would take weeks to sign it all and send it out. She said as much, but Ariel had unwavering optimism about it all. 

"Nonsense. It isn't that much. We'll be done in no time," She said cheerfully, grabbing the first envelope and getting started. 

Eva hesitated and watched her friend. Ever since Eric had proposed to her, there seemed to be a light inside of her that nothing could extinguish. Being engaged, in love, suited her, and not for the first time, Eva thought that maybe she was missing out on something. A tiny voice in her head said maybe there was someone out there who made her light up, but she shoved it down and grabbed an envelope of her own.

She mimicked Ariel, slipping the card into the envelope, licking the strip, and writing the name of the guest on the outside. Then she dumped it into the sadly small pile before repeating. It was mindless work and she and Ariel hardly talked. Their tongues were so dry after a while that they had to save their spit. So instead she found her mind wandering to what she would do after the wedding. 

Eva knew once the ceremony was over, she really couldn't stay any longer. She imagined what she would do, where she would go. She felt inclined to explore the enchanted forest, but the sea truly called to her. What Eva longed for was to board a ship and sail away to some unknown place, maybe another realm. Somewhere she could have an adventure. Images raced across her mind, fighting ogres, gazing up at the stars, meeting rugged strangers.

So captivated was she by her dreams, that Eva hardly took notice as she scribbled another pair of names onto another blank envelope and tossed it into the pile. Though if she had been paying attention, she probably wouldn't have recognized Snow White's and Prince Charming's names anyways. She certainly wouldn't have noticed the +1 they had been granted, intended for a certain blonde haired princess. 

\-----

It was several hours and countless stories later when Snow told him something he hadn't been expecting in the least. They were both puffy eyed and frankly, a little drunk when she turned towards the pirate and fixed him with the most serious expression she could muster. It was actually quite serious. She was the queen, after all.

"I've thought about it, and I believe I've found why I fail to blame you for Emma." Snow said pensively. "It was because we chased her away. Years of smothering her. And Regina. She cursed Emma when she was just a baby. Recently we thought she'd been more philosophical about the whole ordeal, but I suppose we were wrong. I'm just grateful she got to leave here before..." Snow cut off, looking down at her folded hands. 

Killian's mind, thankfully, wasn't too far gone. He hadn't been truly drunk in years. And his mind raced at the implication. She was saying that there was a tiny chance he wasn't completely to blame for what happened to Emma. She was saying that someone far worse than him had caused it. Killian had been fighting against impossible odds, magic. And while he'd never bested the Dark One, Regina no longer had magic. If he chose to do so, he could have his revenge. And the longer he thought about it, the more he realized that there was no other way. He couldn't live with himself if he failed to avenge Emma. 

Suddenly a plan was formulating in his mind. He would stay a bit longer. Killian was fond of Snow and he wanted to ease her pain. He also enjoyed talking with her about Emma more than he thought he would. But before the king returned, he would have to leave. He would seek out Regina, put an end to her the way the Charmings never had, and return. He could say his goodbyes and the king would end it for him. Killian nodded to himself at the thought. It was perfect. That way his life could mean something. He could do some real good after near two hundred years of causing others pain. 

Snow launched into another story about when Emma had wanted to learn how to swim after reading about it. She'd thrown a fit and insisted, but her father had deemed it too dangerous and thus out of the question. She'd been so insistent though, that she had tried to fill the pots in the kitchen to swim in them, but they hadn't been big enough for a 9 year old Emma. 

Killian shoved his plans for the future to the furthest corner of his mind and smiled at the image. Surely there hadn't been a moment in her life when Emma hadn't been so stubborn. He laughed softly and when they fell silent, he recalled of one his own tales: Emma trying to steer his ship and failing so miserably that Smee came to see what the commotion was. 

So like that it went for well into the afternoon until Snow had to excuse herself for business. She was the queen after all, she had a kingdom to run. Killian left soon after her and retreated to Emma's bedroom. His new favorite place. He slid the double doors open and leaned on the edge of the balcony. As much as it hurt to look out at the forest and remember her, Killian knew there was no avoiding Emma's memory. He simply entertained the thought that she was out there somewhere thinking of him. 

\-----

The sun was just beginning to slip beneath the waves when Eva and Ariel finished sealing the last invitations. As Ariel tossed the last envelope onto the pile, they glanced at each other with such relief that they burst into laughter. It had taken an entire day to finish and they hadn't even sent them out yet. It was absurd.

"So maybe I'd spoken a little too soon," Ariel admit through giggles. Eva had to agree.

"I suggest we recruit guards for our next project," She suggested, calming down. 

"That would be wise, seeing as Eric finally set the date. The wedding is to take place in two weeks!" Ariel nearly shouted. Of course Eva already knew. It was printed on each card. But she smiled broadly for her friend's sake. She had a right to be ridiculously excited. 

"Have preparations begun for your gown?" Eva asked, standing. Her friend followed suit and they strolled toward the throne room arm in arm. Eric always got her evenings. 

"Oh yes! The seamstress began early this morning."

"And the cake?"

"Eric is insistent on rum cake so I'm allowing the one concession," Ariel explained. Eva felt a tug of recognition at that but ignored it. 

"And have you decided on the flowers?"

"Well I'm leaning towards calla lilies, but Eic isn't sold just yet."

And on it went, Eva asking silly questions about the wedding and Ariel excitedly answering each and every one. This continued until they reached a pair of enormous double doors, and there they parted ways. Emma began towards her bed chambers and Ariel entered the throne room to ask Eric how his day had been and no doubt update him on the wedding. 

Eva ignored the empty feeling in her chest at the thought of them and slipped into a night gown. It was going to be an early morning, and if she planned on getting any sleep, she would need to retire just as early. She would no doubt dream about the mysterious man who drove her crazy, then it would be off to the library until she could drift off once more. 

Eva fell asleep as the last of the stars popped into the night sky. 

\-----

Killian stared up at the stars as they appeared one by one. As the last tiny light came into existence, he forced himself to look away and close the balcony doors behind him. It was silly to imagine Emma was looking up at the same stars and he needed to stop himself. The last thing he needed was some sort of false hope. No, he already had a plan and it didn't involve happy endings. 

With a sigh, he sat down on the edge of Emma's bed and slid off his boots. The pants and vest followed until it was all neatly folded on the chest at the foot of her bed and he stood in nothing but his drawers. Killian removed his hook and placed on the bedside table, trying not to think about the last time he'd done it. He slipped beneath the cool covers and stared up at the canopy. 

Just like he had every night before, he buried his head in her pillow and tried to find a trace of Emma's scent. There was nothing but his own. Killian clung to his despair and focused on his plan. Soon everything would be right again. He could never bring Emma back, but at least they would be together again. At least he could do that much. 

He fell asleep with her name on his lips.


	18. Toy Soldiers

"What are you doing here? Come to slow me down some more?" James asked bitterly. He dismounted from his horse and strode towards Ruby and Graham, who stood beside their horses just a few feet down the path. He'd long since made it through the woods and found himself on long bare paths that lead to almost uninhabited villages in the farthest corner of the enchanted forest. This was where Graham and Ruby had found him after only a few days.

"We came to bring you home. Something's happened and Snow needs you," Ruby said unsurely. It Put James on edge. Something was wrong. She was shuffling her feet, Graham was avoiding his gaze.

"What happened? Is Snow alright?" He stepped closer. James didn't exactly want to give up on finding Emma and her pirate, but if Snow was in trouble he would have to put his search on hold.

"Snow is perfectly fine, you just need to come home," she insisted.

"I'm not moving an inch until you tell me what's happened." James crossed his arms and stood his ground. He wouldn't be tricked by Ruby again.

"I can tell him," Graha offered softly, touching Ruby's shoulder, but the girl shook him off.

"Thank you, but I should do it." She approached James, her face conveying just how distressing the news was. "It's Emma. She's gone."

"Of course she is. That's why I'm out here looking for her," he said obviously. Had she fallen and hit her head?

"No, she's _gone_ ," Ruby said with meaning. It only took James moments to understand, and a second for his world to fall apart. _No. It wasn't possible._

"I don't believe you. It can't be." James said in denial. It just couldn't be true. His daughter was perfectly fine, if not in danger of piracy. 

"I'm so sorry," Ruby continued on, placing a hand on his arm. But James simply shook her off and took a step back, arms raised in defense. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"Stop talking about her like she's dead. She isn't. Why are you saying this?" James begged her with his eyes to say it was just a hunch. That she wasn't sure. Any kind of hope. 

"We got word she was lost at sea. He tried to rescue her bu-" James practically growled at the realization. She was trying to defend the pirate. He'd killed her, it was his fault, and she was defending him. 

"Don't!" he cut her off, turning and mounting his horse. "That man killed her, and once I've returned home, I plan to make him pay." Killian Jones would pay for all of his sins. For all of the people he had hurt. For Emma. For making Snow bear the burden alone. Suddenly all he needed was to get home to his wife. Beneath his hatred and rage, was his bottomless sorrow, and his need to be with the woman who understood him most.

"But James, he-"

"I've heard enough Ruby. Accompany me or don't, either way you wont sway me." He would be with Snow, they needed each other. Then he would seek out Killian Jones and end him for taking away his baby girl. 

With that, James urged his horse forward, towards home, at full speed.

\-----

"Five days until the wedding!"

Eva woke with a start to the phrase being shouted into her ear. She sat up in her chair and found Ariel already dressed and bouncing on her toes. Eva tried to smile up at her friend but it was far too early and that had been anything but a pleasant wake up call. "Come on, wake up! There's so much to do!"

Eva reluctantly stood, stretching out the kinks that the chair had put in her back. "And what, pray tell, are we doing today?" She asked around a yawn. Ariel seemed all too eager to fill her in as she led the girl to her bed chambers. Eva was forever grateful that Ariel never commented on her odd sleeping habits.

"We are to help prepare for the coming guests. They will begin arriving in these coming days and we need to open up rooms for those who arrive early." Ariel said it all like it would be the most exciting task in the world. Eva wished her excitement was contagious. But she plastered on a smile, changed into her most plain gown, and followed the girl to the west wing where the guests would be staying.

It was busy work. First they would open windows, then they would dust off the furniture. Then flowers were placed about. Next, they made the bed with sheets, blankets, and pillows that were brought in by maids. Finally, they swept and mopped the floors. Ariel seemed to be a natural at the work, but Eva had never done anything like it a day in her life and it showed. It took a dozen rooms for her to get the hang of it.

The work also allowed to relax, more than she had in a while. She finally felt a little useful, like she was earning her keep. It was fulfilling, and Ariel made it fun. They had a pillow fight after Eva tossed one at Ariel when she wasn't looking and it nabbed her in the head. Eva teased Ariel about how quickly she could make beds, since she would surely be ruining her own on her wedding night. Ariel blushed at that one but did not deny it.

Eva was briefly hit by a longing for what her friend had, and she brushed her fingers against her hips as she had taken to doing when she thought no one was looking. Her bruises had faded but she knew exactly where they had been. If she concentrated, she could feel those fingers pressing into her skin, and it was no longer a bad thing.

Since the very first night after Ariel had saved her, Eva had been having those dreams. Surely if it had been a simple dalliance, they wouldn't have persisted so. Maybe there was someone out there who would look at her the way Eric looked at Ariel. She was sure it wouldn't hurt to at least look for him. Especially if there was a chance that he was looking for her. And she could hardly bring herself to care if she hadn't married first, as long as someone loved her.

"Eva? Are you listening to me?" Ariel asked, dropping her fork and placing a hand on Eva's shoulder. She jumped, pulled from her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking about...." Eva trailed off, unable to think of an excuse. She wasn't sure if she should tell Ariel about her change of heart.

"You were thinking about after the wedding, weren't you? You always get this far off look when you do," she said, not unkindly. Suddenly, their lunch was forgotten, all of the attention on Eva.

"I was, but it isn't as though I'm dying to get away! I love it here," Eva defended. The last thing she wanted was to offend Ariel.

"I know, don't worry. I am curious though. What do you plan to do?" Eva hesitated. She and Ariel had never talked about it before, but she looked so sincere and interested...

"I was thinking about looking for the man who left the bruises," Eva said softly, looking down at her quail. "I've been dreaming about him, I think." It sounded odd out loud, and a little embarrassing, but Ariel only smiled broadly.

"That's wonderful! How can I help?" She asked excitedly. Eva looked up at her in shock. Of course Ariel would help her.

"I honestly have no idea. I don't even know how I would recognize him," Eva explained, allowing herself to really think about it. "It isn't as though I know his name, or what he looks like."

"But I thought you were dreaming of him," Ariel said, face falling. Eva could feel her own doing the same.

"I do, but I can never make out his face, or where we are. I just think it has to be him because I can tell it's the same man every time and his hand is always there." Eva gestured to her right hip. Ariel's face took on a sly expression.

"So you've been having explicit dreams and you haven't been telling me about them?" Ariel asked teasingly.

"There isn't much to tell," Eva said with a blush, hoping her friend wouldn't make her go into detail.

"Well fine, keep all of the fun to yourself," she said, sticking out her tongue. "Just know that I have a plan, regardless of mystery man's secret identity."

"What? How? I don't know anything about him."

"But he knows about you, and so do other people, I'm sure. Eva, there's going to be guests from kingdoms across the land and farther at my wedding. We just have to make sure we introduce you to everyone. Someone will recognize you, and that will lead to him. Trust me." Ariel grinned triumphantly.

Eva thought it was a bit of a stretch, but she didn't have many options at that point. "Alright, we can try your plan."

\-----

Killian woke feeling like shit. Again. The last week had been absolute hell on him and he was sure he knew why. He'd found a way to gain closure and now Emma was haunting him. For a week, every time he slept, he dreamed of her sinking beneath the waves, pleading for his help, but he was never quick enough to get to her. And if it wasn't that, it was Emma, lying beneath him, begging for more.

It was driving him mad. He wasn't sure how he was going to get revenge if he couldn't get a minute of shut eye. It was beginning to affect him and people were noticing. There were bags under his eyes, he was losing weight. Guards and maids alike would walk a wide path around him in corridors. Well, it was a wider path than before. Even Snow had commented.

Early that morning, he met her in the garden for breakfast. She didn't try to hide her disappointment at the sight of him. "Have you tried drinking tea before bed? I couldn't get a wink of sleep before, but now, after a cup of tea, I can get a few hours," she began as he took a seat across from her on the blanket. She'd picked a lovely spot. It was a patch of green in an ocean of roses, and calla lilies, and daffodils and flowers he couldn't begin to name.

"I'll manage," he said gruffly, squinting in the harsh sun light. He had to admit, it had been a while since anyone had fussed over him, longer even before Emma, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. He just wasn't sure how to respond.

"Even now," Snow said, gazing at him in a soft way that made him regret his tone instantly, "I'm still a mother. And worrying is what mothers do best. It would put me at ease, if only a little, were you to take better care of yourself."

Killian met her gaze and nodded. He made a point of eating a bit of toast that sat on the carefully arranged plates, and drinking all of his tea. Were it not for Snow White, Killian would not have lasted as long as he had. He was sure of that. And he owed her the world for all that she had done for him. So if he could help her at all, he would do it.

"Thank you." Snow smiled and glanced down at her own cup. "I wonder if you know this, but Emma left us a letter when she ran away with you. In it, she described you as brave, honest, intelligent. Such odd characteristics for a pirate. But I believe she just saw the truth before anyone else. You are a good man Killian."

He looked down at his hands and sighed. Lately, he'd taken to wearing a prosthetic and gloves. He's known about the letters, but had never asked about their contents. Those were between Emma and her loved ones. And even though he had wondered about what she'd written, he'd never imagined that she'd have said anything like that about him.

It was like tearing open a wound that had almost scarred over. He felt the pain more keenly then he had in days. Emma had always seen the best in him, even when it hadn't been true. He could have been brave and honest and intelligent with her by his side, but without her, he knew he fell short. He could never be anything more than what he was in that moment: a revenge seeking pirate.

"And you were a great mother." Snow scoffed and put her tea down.

"I ruined her life."

"I have to disagree there, lass. You raised her to be the incredible woman she was, and she loved you for it until the day she died."

The d- word hung in the air between them Killian hadn't meant to use it, it slipped out. Neither one of them had said it yet, and having hear it out loud, it made everything feel so final. An awkward silence descended on them as they absorbed all that had been said. Both the queen and the pirate had been so absorbed in their own miseries that neither of them heard the group approaching until they had stepped into the garden.

The entrance was to Killian's back, so Snow saw them first. Her head snapped up and Killian could tell from the look in her eyes that he had stayed too long. He was certain Charming had returned. And the thought was only confirmed by the tears in her eyes as she threw herself at the person behind him. Killian thanked what ever god that his head was still attached to his shoulders as he stood and turned.

Charming was clinging to his wife, red eyed and weary, whispering unintelligible things into her ear. Ruby and Graham stood just a few feet behind them looking rather worried. Killian deduced that he hadn't been noticed yet, and decided it would be better for his health if he made himself scarce. That was his intention, at least, as he made his way around the couple, towards the doors leading to the castle.

Halfway there, they pulled apart, and the King's eyes somehow landed directly on him.

There were layers to it, Killian thought as he froze in place. First, was the complete and utter disbelief. It was almost comical, the look on his face. Then there was the fury. It consumed his features until he was sure there was nothing left of James besides his rage. That was when Snow realized that she no longer held her husband's attention and all hell broke loose.

Killian backtracked quickly until his back hit a huge rose bush, and James advanced on him like a lion would his prey. Ruby was fighting against the hold that Graham had on her, though he couldn't imagine what she intended to do if she got free, and why she would risk anything for him. And Snow was watching her husband with a look of horror that blindsided Killian. Did he really mean that much?

"James don't you dare lay a hand on our son!" Snow shouted, making everyone freeze. He was only feet from Killian as he turned back to his wife with a look of utter confusion. An expression Killian was sure he wore as well. What the hell was she playing at.

"They were married." She lied. Everyone smartly kept their mouths shut as Snow continued. "He's our son. Our last link to her. So don't you dare lay a hand on him."

Killian, and every one else, watched as James seemed to process this. He flexed his fists, moving his gaze between the pirate and his wife, seemingly unsure how to respond. "It's true," Ruby chimed in. "I was there. And you know Emma would hate you if you hurt him." Graham glared down at her as she spoke, but there was no reigning in Ruby.

"Fine, then banishment will suffice." Charming's decree was final. There was nothing anyone could do about it. And really, Killian ought to have been thanking him. He needed to get on his revenge mission, but Snow had him so distracted. He should have been gone already.

"You will command no such thing," Snow decreed. "He is the closest person I have to my daughter, and he is the only one who was here to comfort me."

"Are you blaming me for not being here when he delivered the news?!?"

"Of course not! But the fact is that he did deliver the news, and he was here for me, and that is not something that can be so easily forgotten," Snow shouted, advancing on her husband. Killian took the opportunity to back away from the fight that wasn't his. He joined Ruby and Graham, the three too shocked to look away.

"I'm so sorry I was trying to rescue our daughter from something like this! Is it my fault too that I was too late?"

"It's all of our faults!" Snow argued, but then she lowered her voice a few octaves, stepping closer to her husband. "We are all to blame for what's happened, but now I just need to keep breathing. That's all. And having him here, that makes it a little easier."

James took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "James, everyday since you left, I have longed for nothing but my husband. Now more anything, I want you to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay. Yes, Killian helps, but you could too if you let go of your anger." Snow stepped forward and ran her hands along his arms. It had suddenly become an intimate thing, but Killian couldn't pulled his eyes away.

"But then what will I have left?" He asked, face crumbling.

"You'll have me. That's going to have to be enough," Snow said softly, cupping his face gently.

James swallowed her up in his arms and the three finally made their departure. The king and queen needed to grieve for their lost child, and they did not need an audience for that. They were silent as they made their way down the corridors. Killian wasn't exactly sure where they were going until he looked up and they were in the kitchen.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna need something strong," Ruby said, beginning to root through pantries.

\-----

The letter came later that night when James and Snow had retired to their bed chamber after catching up and grieving together. Snow was lying in the arms of her husband, feeling more at ease than she had in weeks. It had been a couple of months since she'd seen James and though Killian had been a comfort recently, he wasn't her true love.

A guard knocked on their door and snow received him in her nightgown and robe. "A letter arrived addressed to you, your Majesties."

"Thank you," she murmured, taking the stiff card from the man. As he retreated, Snow pulled the card from the envelope and joined James in bed.

"What is it?" He asked, looking over her shoulder as she snuggled into his side. It seemed to be a wedding invitation.

"Ariel and Eric are getting married!" Snow sat up excitedly and showed him the card. "I helped her meet him a year or so ago."

"I think I remember. You went to Eric's returning ball and I stayed behind because Emma was sick."

"The wedding is in one weeks time and Prince Eric's castle is on the other side of the enchanted forest. If we want to make it on time, we'll have to leave tomorrow." Snow deduced aloud. It seemed odd to go to such a festive event during such a dark time, but Ariel was a dear friend.

"Are you sure that's for the best? I can't guarantee I'll be much of a party guest." James wore the same broken expression she usually had.

"I know, but we should go. If only to wish her well," she insisted.

"Very well. We'll leave tomorrow." But just as he spoke, Snow read the fine print.

They would have a plus one, obviously intended for Emma.

Snow sucked in a deep breath and placed the card on her bedside table. "Maybe Killian can join us." She suggested. James squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

"I understand you've developed some level of affection for the man, but I refuse to forgive him for the part he played," James explained through gritted teeth. Well that answered that.

"I understand. We'll just have to agree to disagree where he's concerned."

"Deal. Now can we get some shut eye? I haven't slept in days," James suggested.

"Deal," Snow said, snuggling closer.


	19. Little Do You Know

"Ow!" Eva cried, grasping at the boning of her corset. She was pretty sure she was going to pass out at any moment. There was almost no air passing into her lungs and she was genuinely worried for her well being. But Ariel was unyielding on the subject, and would not allow Eva to get out of one for the wedding.

"You'll want to look your best, trust me," Ariel repeated for the millionth time. Eva rolled her eyes as Ariel stepped back. She placed her hands on her tiny waist and easily deduced it was not worth it. 

"I won't miss these at all," Eva muttered spitefully. She wondered how flammable it was. 

"Oh hush, you'll look amazing," Ariel said excitedly, hands clasped together. Eva watched silently, catching her breath, as Ariel grabbed her gown and brought it over. "Arms up," she ordered. Eva obeyed, sliding the dress over her head. Silk brushed softly over her skin. They turned to face the mirror as Ariel disappeared behind her once more.

Ariel tightened the ties and the dress took form. It was absolutely beautiful. The gown was a deep blue that made her eyes glow. There were thin gold vines that crept down her skirt, forming flowers near the hem line. Small buttons adorned the bodice and lead to a sweetheart neckline that displayed her bust. It was too much, she didn't know where to look. 

"This is too much," Eva said suddenly, turning to her friend. They couldn't possibly give her something so lovely. Ariel didn't humor her for a minute. 

"No, it's just enough. You look lovely, but not as show stopping as the bride," Ariel said, placing a soft hand on one of the many rollers in her hair. Eva had thought she'd looked a bit like an alien when the girl had arrived that morning. 

"Fine, but you wont lay a finger on my hair," Eva decided, taking in her own locks. They fell in soft waves down her back. That was far too casual. She french braided her hair quickly, surprised she knew how. It hung over her shoulder. Perfect.

Ariel pursed her lips but said nothing on it. "Well the wedding is only 5 hours away, time to put on my gown. Will you help me get into it? The maids wanted to, but I would prefer you..." she trailed off nervously. Eva rolled her eyes and grabbed her friend's arm. 

"Of course, how else are we going to gossip?" She asked, leading them out of her bedchambers and into the hall. 

The castle had descended into complete madness. Large men were grunting with effort as they carried stacks of chairs. Maids were bustling by with flowers, dishware, and strips of silk. Somewhere in the distance Eva could hear yelling and a faint banging. The aroma of cooking roast wafted up from the kitchen and filled every crevice of the palace. 

As they weaved their way through the endless stream of servants and guards, Ariel seemed especially star struck. She'd been walking on air for weeks, but it seemed that the reality hadn't hit her until that morning. "Do you think all of the guests have arrived?" Ariel asked absent mindedly as she took in the hustle and bustle. 

"No doubt." Eva reassured her. 

She'd seen ships docking at the harbor from her window, and she knew for a fact guests had been arriving for days. As excited as she knew Ariel was, however, Eva felt trepidation at the thought of meeting any of them. Any one of those guests could know who she had been before. Or none of them could know a thing about her. It was nerve wreaking. But it wasn't her day, it was Ariel's. So she shoved down her anxiety and steered Ariel towards her bedroom. 

"Oh thank Ursula," Ariel muttered as they stepped inside. "It's still here." Eva laughed as she hurried straight to her dress and softly touched the material like it might break. 

"It's perfect."

"Yes! Now help me into it!" Ariel said excitedly, slipping off her robe. Eva turned and picked the corset up off the bed as Ariel pulled on her under clothes. Then she began lacing up her friend, taking more than a little pleasure in tightening the awful contraption. At least they would both be uncomfortable. 

"Okay," she gasped, "tight enough." Ariel shot her a wavering smile as they looked at the gown. "It should fit, right?" 

"Stop worrying, everything is going to be perfect. All you need to think about is the wedding night," Eva ordered good naturedly, grabbing the gown and motioning for Ariel to lift her arms. 

"But I'm worried about that too," Ariel said, nervously, completely missing the signal.

"Why?" Eva lifted the arms of the bride to be and slid the dress over her head.

"We haven't spent the night together...." Ariel murmured, looking at the floor and turning redder than Eva had ever seen her. It was news to her. Ariel had always seemed so knowledgeable about such things. She'd just assumed. 

"Don't worry about that. It'll be magical," Eva reassured her as she laced the gown. Ariel refused to look up, playing with her fingers. 

"But what if I'm no good?" Eva scoffed at the thought. Eric looked at Ariel like she was the moon and stars. It wasn't possible that she could let him down.

"He loves you, you love him. It's going to be perfect." Eva leaned over her shoulder and tilted up Ariel's chin so she could look in the mirror. "You're going to blow his mind."

Eva watched Ariel's eyes travel over the gown, and she felt that they were both awe struck. Ariel's shoulders were bare, showing off her long neck. The satin hugged her body tightly, then, just below her rear, it flared out in tulle that was almost reminiscent of a mermaid's tail. A thin bejeweled belt rested on her waist to add a little sparkle. It was gorgeous. 

"Thank you, you're a great friend," Ariel said, tearing up. Suddenly, Eva had no idea what to do. How did one deal with a tearful bride to be. 

"No, no, don't cry," Eva said, jumping between her friend and her mirror. "It's okay, umm, should I get Eric?" Ariel's eyes almost immediately cleared and her hand shot out to grab hold of Eva's sleeve. 

"No, you can't! The groom can't see the bride on their wedding day!"

\-----

Snow and Charming pulled up to the palace just an hour before the wedding. Snow watched on in excitement as maids carted bouquets with wildflowers every color of the rainbow, white chairs, and piles of ribbon in every direction. There was a steady buzz that came from every person in the castle gossiping or shouting orders.

She knew in her heart that what they needed was a little bit of celebration between all of their mourning. But while Snow saw the wedding as a short relief from her pain, James seemed to be completely against it, only agreeing to their trip because of the guilt he felt for having left his wife to mourn their daughter's death alone.

It probably helped that Killian had come along. Honestly, the entire way the two men had been pouting like children and she couldn't take it any longer. She would have thought that given their similar dispositions, they'd have gotten along far better. But no, they sat on opposite sides of the carriage, eyes fixed out their respective windows, only deigning to speak when absolutely necessary. 

"Snow, if we're to get seats, we might want to get a move on," James suggested. 

Snow blinked and her husband was standing at the carriage door, offering a hand. He looked almost pained at all of the noise, the people, but that was one way they were different. While he wished to squirrel away his pain and deal with it on his own terms, she wanted company. He hated ever minute of it but he was doing it for her and she loved him all the more for it. 

Killian followed behind her, keeping Snow in between the two men as they stepped away from their carriage. In the last week, something in him had changed. Killian had been quiet, and less open with her. She wondered if he was handling his grief differently or if something was very wrong. It unsettled her, and as much as she wanted to help him, she knew she would get no where with her husband present. Which he was at all times due to his unending lack of trust where Killian was concerned. 

The coachman snapped the reigns and it pulled away. No one seemed to notice their arrival so Snow lead the way, following small signs that pointed towards the ceremony. They guided the trio through the enormous iron gates of the palace into the main courtyard. Streamers and flowers covered the walls and benches before them, trailing in the soft breeze. 

More signs lead them down a corridor. This one was quieter, only a few guests walked before them, speculating about where the bride had come from. Snow smothered a smile. A red carpet lay beneath their feet, steering them to a single, gilded door. It was propped own by two barrels, each covered in pink ribbon. On top of them, two signs that said, "Welcome!" in a curling script. 

The doors lead outside, most probably behind the palace, she deduced. There were dozens of rows of white chairs, each with big ribbons attached to the backs. Bouquets of wildflowers stung on the end of each row. The red carpet continued out and down the aisle, stopping at a white gazebo that stood tall before the chairs. It was draped in tiny pink flowers, vines reaching all the way to the top. And just behind the gazebo, was the edge of the cliff they say on, allowing the most glorious view of the ocean. 

Snow snuck a glance at Killian, who almost looked like he was smiling. Almost. 

They stepped outside, immediately overwhelmed by lavishly dressed guests, all vying for a good seat. They were talking to old friends, smiling, laughing. It was a little more than Snow had bargained for. Thankfully, Killian came to their rescue. "Maybe we could find our seats..." he suggested, pointing vaguely towards the far back row. They wouldn't be able to see a thing, but she hardly cared. The look of relief on James' face had her thinking he wouldn't either. 

The trio retreated to the back corner, waiting eagerly for the music to begin. 

\-----

"I can't do this! There are a hundred plus guests out there who are going to see me fall to the floor after I trip in these heels, and my cousin Daphne will cackle her stupid head off. Eric is probably being glared down by my father. What if he changes his mind? There is a world of difference between us. Who are we to get a happy ever after?" Ariel babbled, picking at her bouquet and trying not to touch her carefully braided and arranged hair. She took a deep breath to continue, there was just so much wrong, but thank Ursula, Eva interrupted her. 

"Don't you dare do this, you need to take a deep breath and calm down," she ordered, game face on. Ariel took what she knew was a weak one. Was it just her or was there less air? "This is going to go perfectly because you love each other and you're going to live happily ever after. One of us had better, right?" Eva tucked a strand behind Ariel's ear and plucked a piece of fuzz from her dress. 

Eva was taking care of her. Everything was going to go fine. Ariel took a slightly less shallow breath and nodded. Eric loved her, she'd practiced walking in those infernal shoes, nothing would go wrong. And Eva was right, "You're right," she murmured, evening out her breathing. 

"I know I am," Eva said surely. 

"Not about you though. As soon as Eric and I are married, I'm going to introduce you to every one in that room, and I'll be damned if we don't find your true love," Ariel told her. She was not going to let Eva put herself down. They were both going to be happy and their kids were gonna be best friends. It was then that she managed a smile and Eva matched it tentatively. 

"Whatever you say." She answered while fixing her own, smaller bouquet. "But first, lets get you down the aisle." 

"I agree," said a gruff voice from behind her. Ariel recognized it immediately. Her father took her arm gently, beard trimmed, tanned, tailored coat. The calming affect was instant. 

Ariel nodded once more, pushed her shoulders back, and they turned towards the door. Her father placed the veil over her face after placing a soft kiss on her cheek. His beard tickled her cheek just like when she was a child. He took her arm once more and the procession before her straightened out. Eva squeezed her shoulder in a show of support before taking her place. Beside them, an elderly woman began playing the organ, and the wedding march began.

First Daphne, then Eva, then the flower girl, dropping petals to the ground softly behind her. Then it felt as if the world was holding it's breath. Ariel and her father stepped outside. She gripped her father's arm for life as the began the slow trek down the aisle. But as she glanced up, her eyes landed directly on the gazebo where her husband-to-be stood waiting for her. 

Eric stood in his military garb, smiling so widely at her that it nearly brought her to tears. She didn't worry about tripping, or all of the guests whose eyes were glued to her. All she could see was Eric, watery eyed, smiling, his hand extended. Before she knew it, Ariel had made it to the steps of the gazebo. Ariel watched wide eyed and as her father lifted up her veil and kissed her once more on both cheeks. 

"Take care of her," he said softly to Eric as they shook hands. 

He gave away his daughter and stepped down before anyone could see his eyes. Eric took Ariel's hands and lead her up the three small steps to where the minister stood. She didn't hear the words the man said. All she could do was stare up at Eric. He was her anchor. He was holding her still in their own little bubble. She was finally going to start her life with her true love.

\-----

Killian was trying to be nice. He was. Snow was in just as much pain as he was. She didn't deserve to deal with him being petulant on top of it all. But damn it he didn't want to be at a damned wedding, he wanted to hold Regina's heart in his hand as the life drained out of her eyes. But he couldn't very well tell that to Snow, not when he knew she would look at him with wide disappointed eyes. 

And the king wasn't making it that much easier for him. All the man did was glare, and push past, and instigate. Killian was fine if the man hated him, he expected as much, would have been surprised if he'd inspired any other feelings, but why couldn't he hate silently. At least for Snow, who was so obviously looking to them for comfort. The thought made him think of the morning one week ago that had delayed his plan. 

"Good morning Killian, you seem rather chipper," Snow commented as they crossed paths that morning. He had been run into her on the way back to his, Emma's bedchambers. He was all packed and had been planning to sneak out that morning to begin his search for Regina. 

"Aye, I thought I might try it out," he lied. His good mood was singularly to do with avenging Emma. 

"Well then I might have the perfect thing for you," Snow said with a false cheer he'd seen since day one. "You see, we were invited to a wedding, and James and I, mostly I, would love it if you would come with us. We have a plus one."

And she had that look in her eye. That shiny look that told him this was about Emma. Clearly it had been meant for her. And Killian wanted to say no. He wanted to tell her that he couldn't go on pretending he was anything but the villain of the story. But he knew turning her down would only hurt her, and one thing he'd learned over the weeks was that he could not hurt Snow White. She was a woman who had lost too much, and he refused to take any more.

"I would be honored," Killian said, matching her false cheer perfectly. And the genuine smile she rewarded him with was almost worth it. 

Almost, because only hours later he was trapped in a carriage with one Prince Charming. 

With a sigh, Killian shook the memory from his mind. He couldn't see a blasted thing. Dozens of heads sat between him and the wedding procession. He saw a glimpse of gold, some white satin, the minister's shiny bald head. But he couldn't even see the bride. There was really no point in his being there. But that wasn't what caused his misery. 

Listening to the wedding march, seeing that dazed look on the prince's face, it was like a knife in his gut. Surely Killian had never wanted anything so large, but he'd always known, from day one, that he would make Emma his bride. He'd pictured her in a white gown, walking towards him with that secret smile. He wanted it so badly the very image stole his breath. But instead, he was sitting in a crowd watching two others claim that joy. He just couldn't do it. Not ever. 

He stood abruptly, whispering something about a lavatory to Snow, and slipped back into the palace. At the very least he could distract himself from the sudden images racing through his mind. All of the things they would never do. Even after he killed Regina, he would never see Emma in that veil. She would never carry his child. They wouldn't get the life he'd thought they deserved. 

Searching for anything to distract him, Killian quickened his pace, glancing into rooms as he passed them until he came across one that made him stop. It was an enormous library. Shelves upon shelves of books, small tables piled with them, and in a corner beside a window, a reading chair that looked more welcoming than anything he'd seen in weeks. 

Killian knew in an instant that Emma would have loved that place. He stepped inside, heading straight for the chair and picked up the book that had been placed on the arm rest, open to a page someone had probably marked intentionally. He smiled at the title: Peter Pan. Killian knew he ought to have gotten back to the wedding, but suddenly all he wanted to do was sit and read, so he did. 

\-----

Eva watched from the sidelines as Eric leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Ariel's lips. When he pulled away, they were both wearing the most starstruck expressions. She was unbelievably happy for the couple. They had their other halves. But she couldn't help but wonder if her other half was out there too. If he was realms away or only a week's journey. 

She wanted to find the man who had been haunting her dreams, she did, but what if she searched her whole life and never found a clue? Or worse, what if she did find him, and he was everything she ever wanted? What if he looked at her the way Eric was looking at Ariel? And what if after all of that, she lost him? Eva couldn't imagine the pain of it. 

It was that very thought, the horror of it, that had her slipping into the palace through a servant entrance as Eric and Ariel made their way back down the aisle. She knew very soon Ariel would remember her promise and begin her rounds with Eva at her side, waiting for a hint of recognition from a guest. But Eva was unsure. Who's to say she even wanted to find the people in her old life? 

Especially if it only brought her pain. 

She just needed to think about it, figure out if she really wanted her memories back. She had to make a list of pros and cons, and she knew exactly were to do it. She rushed down corridors, stopping at the fifth door on the right. Her library, well it wasn't her's, but it wasn't empty like she'd expected. And neither was the chair, which was most definitely hers. Who sat in other people's libraries, in other people's chairs, reading other people's books, when there was a perfectly good wedding going on just down the hall. 

Eva cleared her throat loudly, arms crossed. The man in the black vest who had been entirely lost in the book, Eva's book, looked up at the noise and froze. Eva knew he had been trespassing and completely in the wrong, but he looked more shocked than she had expected. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. Pale, wide eyed, mouth agape. 

And yet, she felt as shocked as him. Even as he was, the man was beautiful. His eyes were bluer than the sky, his hair dark and combed to the side. He looked to be in the early stages of growing a beard. And he was missing a hand. It should have shocked her, that discovery, but she felt no alarm. All she really felt was the irritation rapidly being replaced by the desire to be close to him. 

"That can't be," he muttered, slowly standing. "You aren't real."

"I most certainly am," Eva affirmed, trying to sound as annoyed as she had been only moments ago. Who was this man? How dare he come and steal her breath. 

"Emma?" He asked.

And just like that Eva didn't need to try to be annoyed. He knew her. Not Eva, but the person she was before she was Eva. And she hadn't made her decision yet. She didn't know whether she wanted her old life. She didn't know if she was ready to begin trying to regain that part of herself. And what if she did choose to pick up where she left off?

She didn't know who that man was but he was looking at her with hope in his eyes. Hope that she could very well dash if she wasn't who he remembered. She couldn't do that to him. To who ever else had known Emma. She needed to get away, it was suddenly getting harder to breath and Eva was remembering how tight her corset really was. 

So she did the only logical thing. She turned around and ran. 

\-----

Killian had just gotten to the part about the evil pirate, fitting, when someone cleared their throat. It took himself a moment to look up from the page, but when he did, he froze. Before him stood a vision. A beautiful girl with golden hair, and blue eyes, and a scowl that fit her face all too well. It couldn't be. There was simply no way. He had to be imagining it all because there was no way Emma was standing before him in that ballgown looking like he'd killed her cat. 

"That can't be," he muttered, slowly standing. "You aren't real."

He had to tell himself so because that little spark within him, the part of him that had hope, he would die if he let it live only to be wrong. He couldn't lose Emma again. Hell, he was barely handling losing her the first time, and he was sure he wouldn't last much longer. He just needed sleep. All of his dreams about her were making him hallucinate. That was all. 

"I most certainly am," Emma said, scowling deeper if that was even possible. 

And Killian could not believe his fucking ears, because there was no way that was Emma. But he hadn't heard her voice that clearly since the day he'd lost her. It was the one thing he hadn't been able to replicate perfectly in his imagination to his complete and utter frustration. But she was talking just like she was Emma, and real, and standing right in front of him. And even though she seemed to not recognize him at all, he felt that small pinprick of hope flair up. 

"Emma?"

It seemed to happen in slow motion. First she stiffened. Her eyes grew a little wider, and her hands gripped her arms tighter. She seemed to be considering something in her head. And then without another word, Emma fled from the library as fast as she could in heels and a gown. Killian watched her go in shock, unsure of what had just happened. 

Then he did the only logical thing. He ran after her.


	20. Tear In My Heart

As all of the guests flooded into the ballroom behind the newlyweds, Snow and James trailed behind. She had begun worrying where Killian had run off to, and if it had really been the best idea, bringing him along. But he was a grown man, she told herself, he didn't need to be fretted over. He could take care of himself. All the same her eyes searched for him. 

The ballroom was glorious. It had windows that reached from the floor to the ceiling, offering a beautiful view of the ocean below, and the sky, now tinged with orange as the sun made it's descent. Tables were set up against the windows, allowing of a more than suitable dance floor in the center of the room. This was where Ariel and Eric were partaking in their first dance. 

Snow and James found their table easily, being near to the door, and took their seats. At their table, 5, sat three older, balding men who spoke only to each other about the state of affairs in the kingdom. There were two young ladies who were giggling about some secret. And finally a lovely couple with a child who were, thank goodness, familiar to them. 

Snow and James had met Aurora and Phillip years before on their travels and she'd had no idea they would be in attendance. She also had no idea they'd had a bouncing baby boy, who smiled at everything and was named after his father. And as much as James was cursing the whole event, he did come alive just a bit at the sight of his old friend. 

"Where is Emma? I was sure she would be in attendance?" Aurora asked after the pleasantries were exchanged. She glanced around the ballroom innocently. James stiffened beside her and Snow almost considered lying. Was she really ready to begin spreading the new? And at a wedding?

"Emma...passed away," Snow said hesitantly, holding her hands under the table so no one would see how they shook. It was for the best, saying it out loud.

"Oh no, what happened?" Aurora asked in shock, holding the sleeping baby in her arms just a little tighter. 

"I'd rather not..." Snow trailed off and hoped they would understand. The very last thing she wanted to do was relay the tale. It would only bring her to tears once again and this was supposed to be a happy day. 

"Of course, we understand," Phillip answered for her. There was a heavy silence that followed, making it very difficult for Snow to pretend she was happy. 

"Would you like to dance?" Her last resort. Perhaps it would distract her. James nodded tersely and they glided onto the dance floor, arm in arm. 

"We could slip out, return home early," he suggested softly as the music began. They took a step away from each other, as did all of the other pairs, then a step together. She couldn't do that, not without wishing Ariel well. And for some reason that sounded like defeat to her ears. 

"No, we would have to find Killian first anyways." James grimaced. Hands up, turn left, then right. 

"He could find his way back by himself. Might even enjoy the alone time." Snow's lip quirked up slightly. Would her husband ever learn to like the man?

"But he would doubtless miss your company," she teased. Kneel, turn, spin. 

"Oh no doubt. I have such a sunny disposition when he's around," James said with a laugh. 

And for a moment, it was okay. They were both smiling, and they could simply focus on the dance where they were a just a piece of the bigger picture. The music was lovely and everyone was happy. Snow actually enjoyed herself. But soon the music slowed to a stop and the dancers stilled. The clapped for the orchestra and the couple slowly made it back to their table. Until they were stopped halfway there by the woman of the evening. 

"Congratulations!" Snow said, pulling the girl into a tight hug. 

"You're going to be very happy together," James added congenially. 

As the pulled apart, Ariel seemed ready to cry. "Oh don't worry, I've been on the verge of tears all night," she said at the sight of her friend's worry. Snow relaxed then. She remembered her own wedding. She'd been a mess the whole morning, inconsolable until she saw James standing at the end of that aisle. 

"So have you been enjoying yourselves? Where is Emma? I've been so excited to meet her." And just like that any peace drained from her body. Of course everyone would ask about their daughter. 

"She's passed," James said for her, hand on her shoulder. 

Ariel's eyes grew, and seemed ever closer to spilling over. She took hold of Snow's hands tightly. "When did it happen? I received no news."

"It was recent. I didn't want to send new just yet. Besides, I would have hated to ruin your night," Snow said softly, trying to smile. It wasn't quite working. 

"Oh Snow, I'm so sorry." She pulled the older woman into a hug and Snow would have been lying if she said a few tears hadn't come loose.

"Thank you," she said softly, pulling away. Snow fixed her skirts distractedly and tried not to sniffle. 

"I'd heard that someone saw you walking in with another man. Is that true then?" Ariel changed the subject, bless her, and Snow nodded. Ariel's eyes seemed to scan the room briefly then return. 

"Someone who was close to Emma. He's been staying with us for a bit," she explained. She could practically feel James rolling his eyes behind her but she ignored him. 

"Well I'm glad he came." Ariel's eyes went over the room once more. 

"We are too," Snow said with enough sincerity for the both of them. "Are you looking for someone?"

"Just a friend, she's disappeared, but I'm sure she'll turn up though." Ariel glanced around once more then smoothed her hands down her dress. "Well it's almost time for Eric and I to cut the cake," she explained getting that dreamy expression. "Thank you so much for coming, you as well James."

They nodded as she hurried towards her husband, both seeming to sag in relief. "Perhaps we could sneak out, just for a moment," James suggested. Snow couldn't nod her head fast enough. She'd spoken to enough old friends for the night. It might have been silly of her, but Snow had thought that the wedding would be a distraction. She hadn't anticipated questions. 

"I think that would be for the best." As they turned to the massive double doors leading out of the ballroom, a young woman hurried through them yelling at the top of her lungs, bringing the whole event to a screeching halt. 

\-----

Eva's heartbeat quickened at the sound of boot heels on the stone floor. He was following her. Who was she to that man for him to be chasing her down hallways? No, she didn't want to know. It didn't matter. She wasn't ready yet. She just needed time to think because there was this gorgeous man chasing her and she was scared of how badly she wanted to stop and let him catch her. 

"Emma, wait!" He called once again. He sounded like he was gaining on her. Of course he was. She was wearing heels and a ball gown. 

"I'm not Emma!" She called back. She couldn't be. What if she let him down? Surely she was different than the woman she couldn't even remember. The sound of his boots stopped for a second and she thought maybe he'd given up. But then they began again with renewed vigor. 

"Then there's no harm in speaking to me for one sodding minute," he shouted back, gaining on her. Eva bit her lip as she took in her surroundings. The ballroom was only a few doors down. Maybe she could lose him in the crowd of guests. 

"No! Leave me alone!" She screamed as she tore into the ballroom. 

Her declaration echoed loudly in the suddenly silent room. Eva stumbled and caught herself as she realized every eye was on her. The music and chatter stopped instantly. Worse than letting down the people in her old life was letting down the people in her new life. She could see the growing confusion on Ariel's face and felt like she'd gone and ruined her best friends wedding. 

It was a sudden and unrelenting shame that followed that realization. Eva felt her face grow hot as she turned away from them and sprinted down the hall, away from the crowd, away from her pursuer. She needed air, she needed to get away. But before she'd even gotten down the hall, she heard the distinct sound of more footsteps following. Why couldn't anyone just listen to her. 

Taking a sharp left then a right, Eva found herself at a dead end, nothing but a broom closet. Back pressed against the wall, he approached first, breathing heavy. "Don't come any closer," she demanded, holding out a hand as if that could help anything. He stopped in his place, holding up his own in surrender. 

"I just want to talk."

"So talk," Eva said, crossing her arms. Maybe if she heard him out, he would go away. It was possible...maybe. He rolled his eyes and mimicked her. 

"I honestly don't know where to start," he admit after a moment. The man dropped his arms and ran a hand through his hair. He looked away, fixed her with a stare. She didn't know what to do. He was definitely something. But she held her ground. 

"Well you can start by telling me who you were calling, because it wasn't me," she claimed haughtily. He scoffed.

"If it wasn't you, you wouldn't have run," and Eva couldn't find the flaw in that logic so she ignored it like any woman would. "And I called you Emma, because that's who you are, love." Then he looked at her with those big puppy dog eyes that almost made her melt.

"My name is Eva and I've never seen you before in my life," Eva claimed, looking away. Something she clearly shouldn't have done because suddenly he was smiling. 

"That's fine, my apologies, but could you tell me where you were a month ago? Two?" He asked, taking a step closed. Eva took one back, bumping into the closet. It's okay, she told herself, he was far past an arm length away. 

"It's none of your business," she said indignantly. So what if she also had no clue. He didn't need to know that. But he knew she was hiding something, she could tell from that glint in his eye. 

"You've got a point lass, except you were with me. And then you were gone. So how are you here?" It was difficult for Eva to understand the mixture of feelings that were sweeping across his face, disappearing, being replace. There was hope, and confusion, and suspicion, but mostly hope. She wondered how it would look devastated. 

"I've been here for months, visiting a friend, that's all," she lied, trying not to focus on his shuffling forward. 

"Your name is Emma, you live in the enchanted forest, we're in love," he insisted. He seemed to have been almost pleading with her. But love, that was too much to hope for. It wasn't possible. He could have been lying. Or maybe she'd lied to him in her past life. Or perhaps he was telling the truth, was the man from her dreams. But she couldn't take that chance. 

"Eva is this man bothering you?" Ariel interrupted, appearing behind the man, a pale couple following behind her. Eva instantly relaxed at the sight of her friend. She didn't appear to be mad about the wedding. Only worried. 

"Yes, he is," Eva said without hesitation. "I want him to go away." Even though he looked betrayed, and she instantly felt the need to remedy it, she said nothing more, and Ariel didn't ask. Her friend simply stepped between them forming a barrier that Eva was incredibly grateful for. 

"I'm not going anywhere, not until Emma tells me what the bloody hell is going on?" The man stepped forward once more, ignoring the girl between them. "Have you been here the entire time? Why didn't you write? Send word? Come home? How could you let us believe you were dead?" He broke off on the last word, his face contorting into a sort of pain she knew she'd never felt. A pain she'd apparently caused. 

Ariel glanced between the two trying to figure it out, but Eva offered no explanation. She was at a loss as well. It had never occurred to her she was hurting people by staying hidden. But who was to say that telling them she had no memory wouldn't hurt them more? The man before her looked like he would crumble under any more bad news. Not to mention the couple who had yet to approach or speak a word. 

"Emma?" Ariel asked softly. "That's your real name?" Eva didn't know how to respond so she nodded. He seemed damn sure. "Did you know this whole time? Have you been lying to me about everything?" Ariel took a step away from her in shock, but Eva couldn't let her believe that. Ariel was her only true friend, the only one who knew her instead of Emma. 

"No!" She nearly shouted, grabbing hold of Ariel's arm. "I swear I've never lied to you. That's the name he keeps calling me by." Ariel turned from betrayed to determined in an instant, and turned on the man.

"And who are you to be so sure?" The man took a step back in surprise but didn't hesitate to answer.

"Her true love. I go by Killian Jones." Ariel didn't convinced and she loved her friend for it. 

"Do you have any proof?" She asked. Killian glanced back at the couple with a small smile. 

"I believe her parents could confirm."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is super short but I just liked how it ended and I thought this left a good place for the next chapter to pick up. Hope you enjoy!


	21. You Ought To Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is dedicated to the episode tonight, lets for some fluff! Also, I know I've been updating a lot, I'll try to keep it up! I love you guys, thank you so much for reading and commenting, it breathes life into me. I hope you enjoy!

The room was fairly bare. Nothing adorning the walls, no windows, and it was moderately sized. There were two couches upholstered in a hideous maroon and one dark blue love seat. A small table sat in the middle of the furnishings, five cups of untouched tea sat on it. Eva, or was she Emma, took note of all of these things as she clasped her hands tightly together in her lap.

Ariel sat beside her, thank goodness, because Eva felt she was the only one on her side. She felt awful that her friend had left the celebration, her celebration, to help Eva work out her own messed up life. When Ariel placed a hand over hers, the relief won out and Eva forced herself to stop thinking about the wedding dress Ariel hadn't even had time to take off. 

"Eva, maybe you should tell them now," Ariel suggested softly. Eva knew she would have to eventually. She could only put it off for so long. 

Her parents sat across from her on the other couch, close together, holding hands. They were looking at her so hesitantly like if they allowed themselves to feel too much happiness at once, it wouldn't last. It just made her feel sick to her stomach for putting them through that kind of pain. She owed it to them to go back home, but she couldn't handle it if her own parents rejected her because she was different. 

And that man. The one who was clutching at the arm rests of his chair like he had to physically restrain himself. He was looking at her with expectant eyes, tracking her every movement. Could he really be who he'd claimed? He had to be if her parents said so. But was he the man from her dreams? Would he love her the same? There was just so much at risk. 

"I woke up on the beach weeks ago, Ariel had saved me from drowning. I had no memory of anything before that, and so she took me in, helped me. I named myself, became my own person, became a different person I'm sure. I understand that to all of you, I'm Emma. But to me, I'm Eva, and I don't want to change. I don't want to let you down either. I just want to be me, figure things out on my own. I don't know if I can do that if you're all trying to get me to go back to who I used to be." Eva trained her gaze on her hands so she wouldn't see their disappointment.

"Honey, we don't expect anything from you, we just want you to come home. We love you no matter what," her mother said softy. But how could she believe that? She had nothing in her memory saying it was true. 

"But what if I'm nothing like you remember? What if I'm nothing like your daughter?" She asked, more vehemently than she'd meant to, looking up at the couple. Her parents, in their defense, did not flinch, but leaned forward.

"Then we'll love the new you all the same. You're our daughter, Eva." Maybe it was her soothing voice, or the way her mother used her chosen name, but she wanted to believe them. More than anything she wanted to feel a little bit of that unconditional love. But what about Mr. Killian Jones. 

"You think you'll still love me after all of this? That I would love you again?" She asked less angrily. He smiled at the questions. It was a little one, but it was there. And it was confusing. Where did he get off?

"Aye, I will love you until my last breath. I'm certain you would love me all the same if you gave me a chance. I'm not so bad once you get to know me, love." Then he took on a serious air. "I've dreamed of every night since you left me. How could that be anything but true love?" But that was hardly conclusive. It didn't mean he was the man from her dreams. 

Even so, Ariel and Eva stiffened, gazes meeting. "It was likely him then," she murmured. Eva simply shrugged. So they'd both been having dreams. It was a simple coincidence. That and some flowery words were hardly enough to convince her she was meant to be with him. Whose to say she had time for love. Eva needed to focus on herself. 

"What were they about?" Ariel asked out of the blue. Eva's gaze snapped to her friend. What was she doing? They hadn't agreed on any of that. Her parents were in the room. What if he said something inappropriate. Killian seemed surprised by the question and studiously looked at his hands as he answered. 

"Mostly I dreamed about our time together." Eva told herself she was imagining the tinge to his cheeks. There was no way they had been having the same dreams. 

"Interesting." Ariel shot Eva an 'I told you so look' which she whole heartedly ignored. She had to think about more important things than the love of a man she couldn't remember. She just wished he would stop burning a hole through her skin with his eyes. Look away, she commanded in her head. Obviously he did not obey. With a sigh, she fiddled with her braid. 

"So will you come home?" Her father asked it as neutrally as he was probably able. They didn't want to force her, she appreciated that.

And when she thought a bout it, she could think of no real reason not to return home. The only one she could draw up was fear. And Eva refused to bow down to fear. Sure, there was a chance they would reject the new her, but there was also the chance they would welcome her with open arms and how could she pass that up. There was really no choice to make. 

"Of course I will,"

\-----

"You'll write wont you?" Ariel asked unsure. Eva rolled her eyes and pulled her friend into a hug. 

"You know I will," she told her. 

"You'd better. And don't forget this." When they pulled apart, Ariel handed her a small box that she recognized immediately. It held a necklace that Eva wasn't sure she wanted, but was happy to have regardless. Maybe someday she would be happy for her friend's foresight. They shared a knowing smile and Ariel stepped back into the arms of her new husband. Eva was glad that at least she was leaving her friend in good hands. 

Her parents had already stepped into the carriage, and Killian stood by the door, waiting for her. They'd stayed the night, all of them exhausted and feeling differently. But Eva hadn't slept a wink. All night she'd been dreaming of what her childhood home would look like, what it would feel like to be a princess, and now that it was finally happening, she wanted to cling tightly to Ariel and never let go. 

"Em-Eva, we should get going love," Killian suggested from his place. He'd been cautious, and respectful, and the perfect gentleman, but Eva was certain there was a part of him that he was hiding. Even though she told herself she didn't have time for him, she wanted to make time, and she really wanted to know what he was like when her mother and father weren't watching. 

One more smile at Ariel, both of them blinking away tears. Then she nodded, because of course he was right. She climbed into the carriage, ignoring his hand, and took a seat across from her parents. He slid in beside her shortly after, careful to keep a respectable distance between them. It was a nice gesture. One her father took note of every few minutes after they'd left the palace behind. 

"So do you have any questions?" her mother asked in a ridiculously happy way. She was like the sun, Eva couldn't look too long. She glanced back out her window as the trees slipped by. They'd been doing that for a while, a heavy silence wrapped around them. 

"I can't honestly think of a thing at the moment," Eva admitted bashfully. She'd been hoping to focus on the future, not on the past.

"Oh, there has to be something," her mother murmured, staring off into space. Suddenly she snapped her fingers and looked up. "Don't you want to know how you and Killian met?" Eva had to admit, at the mention of it she was a little curious, but what good could it really do?

"Oddly enough," Killian began without her answer, grin on his face as he turned towards her, "you sought me out. Visited me while I was wasting away in the brig." Eva couldn't stop her brow from furrowing. 

"I fell in love with a criminal?" She couldn't believe it. He had to be teasing her. There was no way she'd gone to the dungeon of her own free will and consorted with a criminal.

"Trust me I feel the same way," her father muttered. Eva fought a grin but Killian seemed unperturbed by it. 

"I think it was my devilish good looks," he continued as if her father hadn't spoken at all. Her mother smiled softly out the window. He shot her a cocky grin before doing the same. 

What the hell was going on?

\-----

Killian watched as Charming lead his daughter into the woods under the pretense of stretching their legs. He was sure the man just wanted a moment alone with her, they all did, and he didn't fault him for it. Killian himself was glad to have a moment alone with Snow. She'd become his closest confident of late and he was surprised to find he missed their talks. 

Snow stepped back into the carriage once Emma and her husband were completely out of sight, and Killian followed. He closed the carriage door behind him and sat across from her. Snow looked tired, absolutely exhausted, but she looked happier than he'd ever seen. It was amazing the change that had overtaken her.

"How are you holding up, lass?" Killian leaned back, placing his boots on the seat beside her. It gave him absolutely no pleasure at all knowing the king would be sitting there in only moments. 

"My daughter is alive," she said softly, grinning so wide her face looked ready to split in half. 

"Aye, she is," Killian said smiling himself. He felt only a fraction of her joy, he knew. And yet, even if she never grew to love him like she had, his happiness would never diminish, knowing she was alive and well. He would fight like hell for her first though. 

"I just can't believe it. I mean I'd completely abandoned all hope, I was attempting to come to terms with my loss, and then there she was. Even without her memories, my baby's alive," Snow began tearing up at that. Killian moved to the seat beside her and placed an arm around her shoulder instinctively, rubbing her arm. It was odd how naturally comforting her came to him over time. Killian had begun thinking of Snow as a mother figure, and he protected his own.

"And well," he added. Snow nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. 

"I'm just so happy and relieved, but I feel like I have to tone it down. I don't want to overwhelm her, I know she doesn't feel the same way." Killian chuckled. He could definitely understand that. 

"I know the feeling. Just give it time and you'll be at it again like cats and dogs," he teased. Snow looked up at him with pursed lips. 

"We'll have to set you up in a guest room, you know." Killian frowned at the realization that he would no longer be sleeping in her chambers. Pity, he'd grown so used to them. Maybe he could convince Eva to let him stay...

"Why bother? It isn't as though she's very fond of me. I'd wager she'd have me sleeping her her closet," Killian joked. Although it was a very real possibility. And he wouldn't have minded if it meant being close to her. Snow pulled away completely, shock written across her face. 

"So you've given up?" Killian almost snorted at the notion. If only it was that simple. He would never be able to quit Emma, Eva, nor would he want to. 

"Of course not. I have a motto, a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. And I intend to put up one hell of a fight for Emma. Eva. Whatever name she'll have me call her." Snow nodded in approval and once again rested her head on his shoulder. 

"I'm glad."

"It's only good form, after all."

\-----

"I can keep first watch," Killian offered, settling down on a tree trunk. They'd all set up rolls around the dying fire, the horses tied up, carriage on the side of the road. Killian took note of Eva struggling to read by the last light of the fire. She was still stubborn. 

"No, I've got it," Charming offered good naturedly. Except everything had an ulterior motive with him and Killian knew it well. 

"Mate, you haven't slept a full night in weeks, sparing last nights. I'll manage." Killian wasn't just interested in helping out. He also wanted to watch Emma without her father's disapproving eyes. Even looking at her felt like a sin with the king present. 

"No offense mate, but I've got it," Charming insisted. So the man was on to him. Fine. He could play happy camper. 

"Suit yourself. Though you could do with some extra beauty sleep, Charming," Killian jabbed, easily dodging the branch that was lobbed at his head. Not all that charming, huh. 

\-----

"So that's home? It's...nice," Eva said, peeking out the window as they approached the castle. 

"You never were one for the ostentatious," Killian noted aloud. Eva scowled at him, dropping the curtain. 

"Then why was i interested in you?" 

Charming didn't even try to hold in his laughter. 

\-----

"This was your room," Snow said, opening the door to Eva's chambers. 

Eva took it all in as she stepped inside. It was so...much. An enormous canopy bed. A balcony that overlooked the forest. A closet filled with beautiful gowns, none of which she was in any hurry to try on. Though she was curious about the trousers and blouses that took up residence in one corner. Those she could work with. 

"Do you like it? We haven't changed a thing since you left," her mother added. Eva's eyes landed on a hook which sat on her bedside table. 

"Ah yes, I'm sure I loved this," she noted dryly, picking it up. Then that infuriating man, pirate, criminal, slipped past her mother and into her chambers, relinquishing her of the hazard. 

"Believe it or not, you did," Killian joked, god she hoped he was joking. She was just thankful he'd said it low enough that her father hadn't heard.

Eva wasn't exactly sure what the dynamics of her family were, but she was slowly getting a clue. Her father was the quiet one. He hated Killian Jones, well he wasn't quiet about that, and he was very serious about protecting her. Her mother was more affectionate and considerate of her feelings. Also, she seemed to actually like Jones, though Eva couldn't imagine why. 

He was a smart ass, cocky, a criminal, and not at all gorgeous from head to toe. His eyes did not make her lose her train of thought, and she most certainly did not think about what if would feel like if he touched her. It was bad enough her dreams hadn't stopped, the last thing she needed was to add daydreaming to it.

"We'll just leave you to get settled and reacquainted," her mother offered, giving her a hopeful smile and ushering the men out of her room. Not before she caught Killian sending her one more mischievous grin before the door closed. 

Eva huffed and crossed her arms. First things first, she needed to get out of her traveling gown. It was warm and uncomfortable, and she had her eye on those trousers. The tie took a few tries to loosen, but eventually she'd slipped out of it and into the pants. Then she went for a loose fitting blouse, and her boots followed. Eva felt substantially better once she'd changed. 

Next, she went about examining her bedroom. It was all very princessy and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She placed the small box containing her necklace on her bedside table where a hook once sat and tossed her bag into her closet, not bothering to unpack. She could do it later. What drew her attention was her balcony. 

Eva stepped out onto it and leaned on the edge. The forest seemed to stretch on forever in every direction. It was such a lovely view, she couldn't help but wonder what it was like on foot. There hadn't been much exploring to be done on the beach, but that forest held endless possibilities. And surely her parents wouldn't miss her if she stepped out for just a while. It was still early in the day. 

She bit her lip, peeking over the edge. To her left, the trellis seemed to go all the way too the ground. Almost without thought, Eva climbed over the balcony ledge, grabbed hold of the foliage, and climbed down with ease. It was almost as if she'd done it a million times before. Her hands and feet easily found holds and before she knew it, she was on the ground. 

Eva mentally patted herself on her back. Even without memories, she could do things. She was capable. Without looking back, Eva pushed her braid back over her shoulder and plunged into the woods. It was much darker than she'd expected, but that didn't scare her. The trees seemed familiar, friendly. They welcomed her into their home and almost seemed to create a path. 

Eva followed it readily, and soon she was stepping into a clearing. The sun was shining and the grass was green as she'd ever seen. There were tiny blue flowers scattered about and she could faintly hear birds in the distance. On the edge of the field, opposite to her, was the beginnings of a spring, that started as little more than a trickle, then slowly grew and disappeared into the woods. 

It was beautiful.

Eva laughed at the wonder of it all. She lifted her arms up high above her head and spun until she tumbled to the ground giggling. When she opened her eyes, she was met with an impossible bright blue sky and a scattering of tiny fluffy clouds. Eva thought maybe her home wasn't so bad if she had that one little escape. Somewhere she could hide from cautious parents and rugged pirates. 

With a sigh, she let her eyes slide shut and her muscles relax.

\-----

"You are truly a vision, but I'm afraid I have to disturb you, love." 

Eva popped up instantly, turning her head to find Killian kneeling at her side. What was he doing there? He was supposed to be somewhere in the castle distracting himself. He shouldn't have even noticed she was gone. The sun was still high in the sky so it hadn't been long. And how had he found her?

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Eva asked, scooting farther from the intruder. Killian ignored her and plopped down onto the ground beside her. 

"Your mother was worried. She sent me to come find you. It was simple enough, you showed me this place, once upon a time," he explained wistfully, hands rested on his drawn up knees. So it hadn't been her place, it had been theirs. She didn't know how she felt about that so she ignored it. 

"A bit overprotective aren't they?" Eva crossed her own legs, discreetly taking in his profile. Killian laughed, leaning forward. 

"You don't know the half of it," he said with a grin, "But I suppose it's warranted given they almost lost you once." Eva nodded, realizing she could ask him what she knew her parents would never speak of. 

"How did it happen?" She leaned towards him, noticing how he stiffened. Killian turned toward her, suddenly serious. 

"You don't want to hear about that. It's dark stuff." Eva hoped her look said it all. Killian grimaced and nodded. "Very well, I suppose it was my doing. We'd run away together. You were dead set on an adventure, and I'd wanted to show you the allure of the sea. All was well until several weeks into our journey." Killian swallowed and glared at his hands. Eva was suddenly overtaken by the urge to grab one, comfort him, but she could see where the story was going. "I was so distracted, I didn't see the storm coming. When it hit, you were too stubborn to go below deck, then before you could get to safety, you disappeared over the rail." Well that was...expected. 

"I guess I wasn't the strongest swimmer, huh?" Killian looked at her with utter disbelief. So too soon for jokes, check. 

"You don't hate me?" Eva smiled a little one. She did kind of hate him, but not for an accident that almost killed her. Mostly because he haunted her dreams and made her want things that she wasn't sure were good for her. 

"No, consider yourself forgiven," Eva pardoned him. Killian swallowed thickly and looked away. 

"Thank you, you have no idea how much that means."

"Probably about as much as your honesty means to me," Eva replied standing. "They've been tip toeing around me like I'm made of glass since we left the wedding. This is refreshing." Sure, Killian wasn't the worst person ever, but he was still a criminal, and he didn't love her. He loved Emma, she reminded herself. She was not going to get hurt by him. 

"See? I'm not so bad once you get to know me, love." Killian smiled at her charmingly as he stood and brushed himself off. "Now how about we see to those pesky parents."

Eva smiled and nodded. She was beginning to see how she might have fallen in love with that man.

\-----

"Now James, I think we should proceed carefully," Snow warned from her throne. 

"What do you mean proceed with caution? Our daughter has been home not even a day and she's already missing!" James began pacing and Snow had to bite back a grin. 

"Well at least we know she hasn't changed," she teased. The look James shot her spot of his lack of amusement and Snow sighed. He was going to drive himself crazy. "She isn't missing, she's just looking around, and besides, Killian is off looking for her. They'll be back in no time." James threw his hands up in the air and turned away. 

"Oh well as long as Killian is coming to the rescue," he responded sarcastically. 

"James just think. She's no fan of his at the moment. If you really want him out of your life, then think about this. Hating Killian Jones, and smothering...Eva, will only drive them together again. If you really disapprove of them, then do the opposite of what you did last time they met. It may have a different effect." 

Snow of course didn't believe a word of it. She knew her daughter and Killian had shared something real, something that couldn't be erased by the will of a father. But her words had the intended affect. James turned back towards her with an almost enlightened look on his face. "You're absolutely right."

"I know I am. Now come relax for a minute. I just want to be together and happy that my daughter is back." 

"Yes dear."

\-----

"So we're best friends?"

"Yes," Ruby said. She'd been very understanding about the whole no memory thing, and Eva appreciated that. She would need friends to guard her against parents and friendly fiends. 

"How long have we known each other?" Eva asked, examining the girl who was so comfortably stationed on her bed. Ruby seemed nice, and she'd been so excited to see Eva, and she had been telling the her the truth. Eva even asked about her tumble off of that ship to confirm the pirate's words. 

"Since we were kids. We're partners in crime," she joked. Maybe. Eva kind of hoped she wasn't. It sounded nice having a friend to cause trouble with over the years. Then to her horror, Ruby asked, "Where's Killian, I wanted to ask him if he saw Grah-"

"You're friends with him too?" Eva inturrupted her, throwing herself face first onto her bed beside her supposed friend. How had he won them over?

"You...arent?" Ruby asked in confusion. At least it sounded like confusion. Eva sat up and shook her head. 

"I mean, he was a criminal, he practically kidnapped me. He doesn't seem like the best influence." Ruby looked oddly unsure. 

"Well, he was a criminal and when I first met him, I didn't have a clue what you were thinking. But once I got to know him, and once I saw how different you were when the two of you were together, I realized there's no one better for you. You used to light up like a Christmas tree when he showed up. And when you ran away together, it was because you were dying to go with him, Eva." Ruby looked almost repentant for siding against her. Well, at least she was telling the truth. It was just highly unpleasant truths. 

"But he's a pirate," Eva argued. From what she'd gathered, she was a princess. It could never work. 

"Not any more, hon. He kind of turned it around for you." Ruby shrugged a shoulder as if that was a thing people did. Was it?

"But he doesn't love me, he loves the old me. Emma." And as much as it sucked to say out loud, it was true. She was a differ-

"What?" Ruby managed before bursting into laughter. Eva stared on in shock. What was so funny? "You think...you're...different?" She managed between giggles. Eva hadn't even questioned that. 

"Yes, of course." Ruby gasped for breath and pulled herself together, but her grin remained. 

"Oh come on. Whether you want to be called Emma or Eva, you're the same girl you always have been. You've been home a day and you've already abandoned your gown, snuck out from beneath your parent's noses, and consorted with a has been pirate. You're more you than you've ever been," Ruby explained, taking Eva's hands. "And I'm so glad, because I've missed you like crazy."

She pulled Eva into a hug, and she hugged her friend back. Clearly Ruby was her friend, and she was looking out for Eva, but could she be telling the truth? Was she really the same as the day she'd fallen from over board. Was it that simple? Could she just act as she was and expect every other part of her life to just fall into place?

Eva hugged her friend closer, thinking maybe she didn't have to be so stubborn. There was a huge chance Ruby was right about everything, but if Eva was going to do anything about it, like have a normal conversation with her parents, or maybe accept a certain pirate, she was going to need support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!


	22. Breathe Again

Eva knocked on the open door softly, peeking in. "Can we talk?"

Her parent's both looked up from their work in surprise. Eva hadn't exactly been seeking them out in the two days since they'd returned. But that morning she'd woken with new purpose. She was going to take Ruby's advice and be herself. Eva, Emma, they were the same, and she deserved as much happiness as Emma had gotten.

Her parents sat in their bedroom. Her mother, reading a book in bed, beneath the covers. Her father, at his desk writing something with quick, sloppy strokes. But as she appeared, they both abandoned their work and turned towards her. Eva hesitantly moved forward and took a seat at the foot of their bed, her father moving to sit beside her mother.

"What is it?" Snow, her mom, asked concerned. Her book was tossed aside and Eva thought that was a kind of nice feeling.

"I just wanted to apologize for running off. I must have scared you after everything that's happened," she explained. Her mother shot her father a meaningful look.

"It's okay sweetheart, we know we need to loosen up. We're trying," her mom said, taking her hand.

"We want you to keep your freedom, so we were actually wondering if you wanted to take up your classes again. Before you left you were learning to fight, ride horse back, and shoot. We can begin again if you'd like," her dad offered. Eva drew a blank.

She'd been learning all of that? Living with Ariel had been interesting, but castle life had been a bore. And the girl had been so taken with wedding preparations, Eva had assumed her life would be similar once her parents claimed her. She hadn't even thought about it, she'd just figured it would always be planning the next party and taking care of affairs once she married and took the throne. But they were offering something she hadn't even known she'd wanted.

"Yes!" She said with a laugh. "I would love that!" Her parents matched her smile, and for a moment Eva felt like she couldn't be any happier.

"I'm glad. We can start tomorrow. Now I have to go deliver a letter, but I'll be back in a bit," her father said. He kissed her mother on the temple, seemed like he wanted to do the same for Eva, but refrained. She considered getting up and hugging him but the whole thing suddenly seemed awkward, so she just watched as he grabbed a piece of parchment from his desk and hurried out.

"I wanted to ask you something," Eva said the moment he was gone. She knew it was a question better left for when she and her mother were alone. Her father was more than a bit biased.

"Anything," she answered, catching on to Eva's mood quickly.

"Killian. Do you think he's a good man? Honestly." Her mother looked taken back by the question.

"Honestly, I think that's something you should find out for yourself," she answered slowly. "But I can help." Her mother tossed the covers aside and turned toward her nightstand where her jewelry box sat. She opened it, then a small hidden compartment. What it revealed was a carefully folded piece of parchment with deep creases. She'd referred to it often, Eva assumed.

"You wrote this for us the day you left with him. Maybe your own words will clear it up," her mother said, offering her the paper. Eva hesitantly took it. Was seeking advice from Emma wise? But that thought didn't last because her curiosity quickly won out. She carefully unfolded it and read, feeling her mother's unsure gaze.

_Dear mother and father,_

_I hope that doesn't appear as cordial as it looks to me. I just want you to know that this is for both of you. I love you so much and I know that all you do is to protect me, but the time has come for me to have some freedom. You both know I've always wished for an adventure of my own, I've never made it much of a secret. Well I believe now is the perfect time._

_I know you must be unbelievably angry, father, but I can't keep living like I'm a prisoner in my home. You've both taught me so much in the past months and I appreciate it, but now I need to use it. I'm going to come back, this won't be forever. Someday I want to be a queen that you can both be proud of. I want to be fair and honest. But first I'm going to see my kingdom and other kingdoms._

_And last, but certainly not least, I found someone who I think I might be very much in love with. He isn't a prince or a duke, but he's more than enough for me. He's honest, and brave, and smart, and he treats me like a princess and an equal. I think it might be true love, but it may be too soon to tell. I know you both wouldn't approve, but when I return, I'd like to think you would give him a chance._

_Love, Emma_

Eva stared down at the letter long after she'd finished reading. "You're sure I was talking about him?" She asked without looking up, or even thinking about it. Her mother gently tilted her chin up, sporting the calmest expression that Eva had seen since she'd arrived back home.

"I know for a fact you were talking about Killian Jones." Eva nodded. 

"Do you mind if I hold onto this for a while?" She asked, suddenly wanting to read it a million times over. 

"Of course, take it," her mother said softly. 

Eva stood to go, she needed to be alone with her thoughts for a little while, but first she leaned forward and placed a kiss on her mothers cheek. "Thank you," she murmured to her mother who had made her feel more welcome and at home than anyone. Then she fled before she saw the radiant smile that appeared on Snow's face. 

\------

Eva retreated to her bedroom to think for a moment. Everyone but her father seemed to think so well of the man, but the only thing that mattered was what she thought of him. He'd been nothing but pleasant to her since the moment she'd arrived, barring some innuendos. And he hadn't done anything dastardly in months to her knowledge. 

The most damning evidence of all, Emma's letter. She honestly believed in Killian. Before she'd even run away with him she'd been smitten. Obviously he'd done something to earn that kind of affection. So really, there was no reason for her to hold back. Except for some reason she wanted definitive proof of his honor before she risked anything on him. 

Eva had to admit to herself, it was probably the dreams. They were constant and intense, and they made her feel like she didn't have a choice in whether or not she chose him. And no matter how respectably her family Ruby and her mother spoke of him, all she could think of was those dreams. How respectable could he really be if he'd done those things to a princess? One he certainly was not married to. 

Eva sighed loudly and grabbed the letter. As much as she told herself it wasn't smart, she needed to talk to the man in question and get some answers. The guest room he was staying in was on the complete other side of the palace. Probably her father's doing. And yet, the entire walk to his bed chambers, she couldn't talk herself out of visiting. He just attracted her, like a moth to a flame. She needed answers before she could let him keep doing that to her. 

Before she knew it, she was standing before his door. Nothing was going to happen, they were just going to talk, so she didn't know why she was so nervous. Steeling herself, Eva knocked loudly, then waited. It took a worrisome amount of time for the door to open. Enough time for Eva to consider leaving. But eventually it did open. 

"Eva?" Killian seemed like he hadn't meant to be so shocked. But he was, because she'd done nothing but pretend to hate him since they'd met. Then the most horrifying thought occurred to her. Had he given up on her? She was too much of a challenge so he'd decided to let it go? But a moment later he was grinning and opening the door wider, banishing her insecurities. "Would you like to come in?"

"Yes, I think it's time we talk," Eva said, stepping past him. She ignored the giant bed in favor of one of the two chairs sitting beneath a window. Killian took a moment to follow, but sat in the opposite. She forced herself not to stare at him. 

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked seriously. She almost missed his lewd jokes. 

"I wanted to ask you why Emma would describe you as honest, brave, and smart," Eva explained cutting right to the point. She showed Killian the letter in question and watched him grin as he read it. He closed his eyes for a moment before placing it on the table between them. 

"I never would have thought I deserved to be described as any of those by you," he emphasized, "but I can tell you my own guess as to why you would write that. Would you like to here it?" Killian asked after a moment. Eva hadn't expected him to refer to her and Emma as the same person but she kind of liked it. Especially when he looked at her like that. 

She nodded. 

"Honest, I would imagine, because when we met, your parents were sheltering you. They would tell you nothing of the real world or their pasts. I told you everything you asked of me, and I never once lied to you. Brave? That one could perhaps be because I returned for you, and stayed by your side, though your father was hell bent on finding me and having me hanged.

And smart, that one could have been a few things. Getting out of the castle undetected the night of my execution, leaving for a while so you could repair your relationship with your parents. But I think it was mostly because I could always see you for who you are. Even now, I see you Eva." Killian leaned forward, almost as if he wanted to touch her. But Eva couldn't bring herself to give him the permission he sought out.

He was honest, she could tell. He'd told her the truth since the moment she'd arrived. Brave? He was still living in the castle of a man who very much wanted him dead. The only thing stopping her father was her, and she wasn't exactly advocating on his behalf. Smart? He knew exactly what to say to make her question everything.

"There's one other thing," Eva said, clearing her throat. Killian blinked and leaned back. 

"Anything." She believed him. 

"Tell me how we met." Killian grinned widely. It worried her. 

"I thought you had no interest in that story?" He teased, eyes alight. 

"If you don't want to tell m-" Eva began to stand but Killian flew forward, gently grasping her wrist. She tried to ignore how she liked the touch.

"No, I'll tell you," he interrupted. He was so easy it was almost sad. Eva allowed herself a small grin as she sat back down. 

"Thank you." Killian nodded and took a moment to collect his thoughts. He probably wanted to paint himself in the best light, she thought. 

"I'd been in the brig for a slew of crimes, thieving, pirating, and more. You'd been completely fed up with your parents for hiding everything from you so you were curious, you came to see the prisoner in hopes he would tell you things. I-"

"I'm sorry, I snuck away to the dungeon to see a criminal because I was what...curious?" Killian laughed at her shock. 

"Don't give me that look, lass. You're a stubborn creature and you were determined to find out about the real world. So you came to me in the night, and I told you stories. All kinds of adventures I'd been on. And you even bargained with me for the story of my childhood. How I became the fearsome and devilishly handsome Captain Hook. Then y-"

"Wait, what did I give you for it?" Eva asked suspiciously. Killian hesitated, then offered her a sheepish grin. 

"A kiss." Eva was up in an instant. She knew he'd taken advantage of her. Lying, conniving, thieving, pira-.

"Now hold up lass, you offered it up. I didn't ask for anything," he said, tugging her back into her seat. "You wanted to kiss me." Eva narrowed her eyes at him. That sounded far fetched. 

"You expect me to believe I saw a pirate behind bars and wanted to kiss him?" She asked taking a seat. Killian laughed and took his own, running a hand through his hair. 

"I didn't believe it at the time either. It had seemed like too much to hope for, but you offered for something I would have given for free." Eva nodded reluctantly. 

"Fine. Go on." Killian nodded and continued his ridiculous story. 

"Anyways, your father caught us soon enough and I was put on trial the next day. They sentenced me to hang and you were so upset, I didn't understand it at all. I still don't. You barely knew me, and yet you cared. So that night I escaped and visited you before leaving. I offered to take you with me, sail the seven seas and all that because freedom was all you'd ever wanted, but your parents were just beginning to loosen up. They were going to teach you how to take care of yourself and you wanted that more than anything. So you kissed me willingly," he emphasized, "twice, and I left. But you made me promise that I would return, and I did." 

Eva stared him down. His blue eyes, his mussed up hair, the way he was leaning towards her trying to figure out whether or not she believed him. She did, he couldn't lie to her, she just knew it. And she knew she would have been able to tell if he had. And as ridiculous as the whole story was, she could kind of understand how she fell for the man. 

"Thank you for telling me," she said softly, standing. Eva picked up the letter from the table and slipped it into her pocket. She definitely wanted to keep it. 

"You're leaving already?" Killian stood, not even trying to hide his disappointment. When he looked at her like that she didn't want to. "You don't have to." Eva considered it for a moment. What would happen if she stayed. She was sure she wasn't ready for that just yet, but she suddenly realized it was the perfect opportunity to ask one more question that had been chipping away at her, that she could never ask with her parents present. 

"I really do, but first, one last question. These dreams I've been having, they're of the two of us, together. The night you left bruises on my hips," she said, unconsciously touching the spot. Killian's gaze followed the movement. "Where were we, and when?"

"That was on my ship, the night before the storm," Killian said thickly. "The others have stopped, but I'm still having that same one as well." That was officially more than Eva could handle. With a nod, she turned and quickly fled his room. Killian made to follow but he didn't make it out his door. 

Eva could handle a lot, his stories weren't so far fetched that she thought him a liar. But she couldn't handle the fact that they had been having the same dreams. That was just too much. What did it even mean? For him it was understandable. He missed her. But why was she still dreaming about him? She didn't even remember him. 

But she wanted to. A quickly growing part of her wanted so badly to remember everything he'd spoken of. She wanted see his face as she offered a kiss. She wanted to feel it on her lips as he escaped into the night. She wanted to know that story, of his life before Captain Hook. But she needed to pace herself because she was overwhelmed. 

Eva locked herself in her bedroom for the rest of the evening and tried to keep her thoughts from driving her crazy. So maybe Killian was a decent man, maybe he was a man who made her simultaneously nervous and excited. Maybe what she wanted was him in every sense of the word. And yes her dreams scared her. That she could feel so strongly and be so affected by a man she barely knew was terrifying. 

But maybe that was what made it fun.

\-----

She was in a small room. There were shelves lining the walls, filled with odd little nick knacks. Clothes were strewn everywhere. The moon was shinning though a small window above her head. And the room was swaying slightly, though she didn't notice it when she wasn't paying attention. Eva was definitely not paying attention. 

She was lying back on some pillows, staring down at Killian, running a hand through his wrecked hair. They were both completely naked. Killian was stretched out on his side, his head level with her waist. Eva felt the most overwhelming sense of peace and happiness as she looked down at him, carding her fingers through his hair. 

"I'm sorry love, I think I might have left bruises," Killian murmured, running his fingers softly over her hip where they could both see the beginnings of them. He leaned over her and pressed a soft kiss to the spot. 

"It's alright. I would be lying if I said I'd noticed," Eva joked though it wasn't her speaking. Killian smiled half heartedly though she could still see that he felt remorse. "Would you like to make it up to me?" she asked without control. Killian squinted. 

"How could I?" Eva but not Eva almost laughed at the look of despair on his face, but she smothered it. 

"I think a life time of servitude might suffice," she suggested. Killian grinned slowly, placing one more kiss on her hip, then pulling himself up to place a slow hungry one on her lips. 

"You've got yourself a deal, Miss Swan. But don't go trying to get rid of me," he threatened jokingly. Eva but not Eva pulled him in for another kiss. 

"Never."

\-----

Eva shot up in bed, breathing hard, sun shining down on her. What the hell had that been? For the first time in as long as she could remember she hadn't had the dream. But what had that been? It almost felt like a memory. Surely she couldn't have imagined that scene out of thin air. But why was she suddenly remembering the night before she'd drowned?

The only thing she'd done the night before that had been different, had been to visit Killian and decide to give him a chance. So was he the key to getting her memories back? The thought was so incredible, she couldn't believe it was possible. She'd long since given up hope of retrieving them. Emma was gone forever. But was she?

Eva jumped out of bed quickly, banishing the thoughts from her head. She needed to get ready for her sparing session with her father. She would think about her possible memory and it's implications later. Maybe afterwards, she could ask Killian what had transpired that night. If his recounting was the same, then she would worry, but there was no need at the moment. 

With a sigh, she abandoned her night gown and changed into her riding pants and blouse. Oatmeal sat on her bedside table, but she couldn't bear the thought of eating. Her stomach was in knots over odd dreams, and exciting new skills. She would eat after ward. Eva nodded to herself and left her room, following the corridors and stairs to the courtyard where her father was waiting, two swords in hand. 

"Good morning Eva. Are you ready?" He offered her a blade and she eagerly took it. 

"As I'll ever be, I suppose," She said with a smile. Her father matched it eagerly and took up his blade.

"Great, now first, I want to see how you stand. Maybe your muscle memory will pull though and you'll still know the correct stance," he said. Eva lifted the blade that was heavier than it looked and stood how it was most comfortable for her. Her father nodded. 

"Good, now le-" he began but he was quickly interrupted by Eva's mother and Killian joining them.

"James, I was thinking it would be good for Eva to spar with Killian. I'm sure you wouldn't mind watching her slash at him," her mother suggested. Killian smiled at her confidently. Honestly, Eva thought that was a great idea. What better way to work out her issues than try to kill the source of them? Well, maim. Her father seemed to consider it for a moment then shrugged.

"One scratch and you're dead," he threatened before handing the blade over to the pirate. 

"You seem to forget I've been at this far longer than you, Charming," Killian joked, and Eva raised an eyebrow in confusion. How was that even possible? But she didn't have time to think about that, because he was turning towards her blade at the ready. 

"Good form love. Now, I'm going to come at you, just do whatever comes naturally, and try not to run me through," he explained. Eva nodded, and he wasted no time rushing forward, swinging straight at her. 

Eva blocked him just barely and stumbled taking a few steps back. "Good," he mumbled. He swung again, she ducked, came around, went for him, but he blocked, shoved. He some how knocked away her blade and tripped her in one swift move that had Eva staring up at him in shock from the ground. His blade rested just below her chin. What just happened?

"If you go down, try and use the momentum to get you back up," Killian suggested, pulling away his blade and offering a hand. Eva took it and ignored how nicely it felt in hers as he pulled her to his feet. He was looking at her with those big blues as he pulled his hand back and she couldn't look away. Until her father stormed over. 

"What the hell are you doing? That was her first go in over a month. Ever heard of going easy?" Her father lectured, looking on the verge of a punch. Eva was pretty sure her mother's presence was the only thing stopping him. And yet, Killian didn't look the least bit afraid. 

"She doesn't need us to go easy on her. She needs us to teach her." He crossed his arms stubbornly. "I want Eva safe as much as you do, and she isn't going to be safe until she's as good as me. This is the best way."

"You think you're that great?" James challenged. Eva suddenly saw where it was going and took a step back towards her mother who didn't seem worried at all. Only slightly annoyed. She rolled her eyes at Eva as if to say, boys will be boys. 

"No. I know I'm great. Maybe the best," Killian suggested, mischievous grin already in place. 

"I know my memory isn't the best, but aren't you supposed to be teaching me?" Eva asked, trying to lighten the mood. Killian turned towards her with a grin, while her father laughed awkwardly and moved away. The tension disappeared. 

"Right, you two get to it, and Eva, don't be afraid to really go for it," he joked, or maybe he wasn't. But he retreated inside while mother stayed to watch. Feeling lighter, Eva picked up her sword and turned towards Killian. 

"Are you sure this is fair? I seem to have the advantage given your shortcomings," Eva teased, looking pointedly at his missing hand. Killian smirked at her as she approached. 

"You'll soon find that I have no shortcomings." Eva rolled her eyes. She could imagine what he was talking about. 

"I think you're all talk," She provoked. Maybe that wasn't so smart, considering how much more skilled he obviously was.

""It would be my pleasure to disillusion you," Killian said, just before he lunged.

\-----

Eva fell to the ground for the hundredth time. She was too tired to even consider getting up, so she rolled onto her back, letting her sword fall from her fingers. She vaguely heard the sound of Killian approaching, looming over her. She didn't care. He could stare at her like a creep all he wanted but she was never moving again.

"Are we done for the afternoon then?"

"Mmmmm," Eva mumbled. Killian didn't move. 

"I suppose I might have pushed a tad bit too hard," he mused. Then he leaned down, grabbing her hand. "Okay, up you go," he ordered, pulling her up. Eva resisted, a limp doll.

"Nooo, leave me here to die." Killian scoffed. 

"Not likely," he muttered. "But if you don't want to move, I'll be forced to carry you." Eva's eyes flew open, narrowing.

"You wouldn't dare." Eva stared him down but he seemed serious. That seemed like a bit much.

"It isn't as though I haven't done it before. And honestly I've carried barrels heavier than you, lass." Killian began to lean down once more, and Eva shot up, muscles screaming in protest.

"Fine! Fine! I'll walk, just no carrying," she demanded. Eva sways slightly, but righted herself. She quickly brushed off the dirt from her pants and began towards the castle, feeling soreness in places she hadn't known existed. 

"I'll escort you back." Killian offered after jogging to catch up with her. "Wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I didn't." Eva smiled at him. She had to admit, he really did try. And now that they were finally alone she could ask him.

"Would a gentleman also answer a sensitive question for me...?" Eva asked, folding her hands pointedly looking at the floor as she walked. 

"I have before," he said with grin. Eva nodded nervously. 

"Can you tell me what exactly happened the night before everything..." Eva couldn't even look at him. What if the stories matched up? Would she get all of her memories back eventually, or would that one have been a special case? Killian stopped in the middle of the corridor, halting her with him. 

"Why that night?" He crossed his arms, holding his ground. 

"It's just important to me, I want to know." Eva met his gaze but immediately realized her mistake. He knew her. He knew when she was lying. The way her hand twitched to tug at her braided hair. 

"I'll tell you everything when you tell me the truth, love." Eva bit back a groan. He wasn't changing his mind. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, letting him in on the secret. She was fairly certain he would find out eventually. 

"I had a dream, that may or may not have been a memory," she said cautiously. To his credit, Killian did a decent job of covering up his hope. Eva felt her stomach drop. What if it was simply a dream and she had to watch his hope crumble? No, she wouldn't think about that. They would find out soon enough. 

"And you need me to tell you which it was. Very well, but this is probably best said behind closed doors," Kilian said after a moment. He bit back a grin and grabbed her arm, practically dragging her down the corridor towards her room.  

"You know, I am capable of finding my bedroom without assistance," Eva pointed out, tugging her arm from his grasp. Killian slowed slightly to her pace and glanced at her sheepishly. 

"My apologies, I got excited. I'll love you regardless, but some memories can't be recreated. It would be a shame if only I remembered so many of our firsts." Killian almost looked remorseful for having said it out loud, but Eva couldn't fault him. She wanted to remember everything, why wouldn't he want the same.

"I understand completely." Eva grinned at him and before they knew it, they were at her chambers. 

She felt awkward opening her door and inviting him in. She'd never had a man in her bedroom before. Or at least she'd didn't remember ever having had one, so she wasn't exactly sure what the protocol was. Thankfully, Killian seemed to know, as always. He took the seat at the door and Eva sat at the foot of her bed, thighs sighing in relief. It was still a bit awkward. 

"So that night...we'd just...well you recall what we'd been up to." Killian began awkwardly. For some one with such a talent for innuendos, he seemed almost embarrassed. Because she didn't remember? 

"The footnotes would be adequate," she offered, attempting to ease his discomfort. It didn't seem to help terribly. 

"Afterwards, I was apologizing, for the bruises. I kissed the spot on your hip. I'd felt so awful for causing them in the first place. Then you suggested a lifetime of servitude would suffice as reparation," Killian looked up at her with the most repentant expression. "I'm sorry I let you down."

But Eva wasn't paying attention to him any longer. As much as she knew he needed her, she couldn't breath. It was like her dream. There was no way she could have made that up without knowing. Without remembering. It was impossible. How? Why of all of her memories, was that the one to survive? What made it so special?

She'd loved Killian, but had she loved him so much that she'd held on to that one fragment of happiness through it all? How was that even possible? And why not other happy memories? Surely that couldn't have been her only one. Eva just couldn't wrap her head around it. Because maybe that meant there was a way to get them back. 

"Eva? Are you alright?" Kilian was beside her stroking her cheek, looking at her with those wide, concerned eyes. But for some reason Eva couldn't focus. Her mind felt cloudy. 

"It was a memory," she murmured. She felt like she suddenly had no control over her body. Not painful, just strange. But Killian was smiling, she wanted to be as happy about it as he was. 

"That's wonderful! Maybe it means you can retrieve the others! But why aren't you thrilled, love? Is there something else?" His concern was back full force, but Eva couldn't reassure him. Her mouth wouldn't. His was moving but she could barely hear him. It was like she was under water, everything muted and blurry. It seemed like a struggle to even keep her body upright.

Then it all went black.


	23. In My Veins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in honor of the Season 4 finale! SO much happened, I hope this chapter will take your minds off it. Enjoy!

"What do you mean she just passed out?!?!?" 

The king seemed about ready to throw a punch Killian's way, but he could hardly bring himself to care. Eva was lying on her bed, where he'd moved her gently, unconscious. He couldn't look away from her from where he stood at the foot of her bed. The king stood on her side, glaring at Killian like he'd done it. Charming had probably already concocted exactly how it had occurred in his head. 

Snow sat on the bed holding a moist cloth to Eva's forehead. He didn't know how she could be so calm about the whole ordeal. Killian was wound tighter than Smee during a storm. Every time he blinked, he saw her slumping over in his mind. The far away look in her eyes just before they slid shut. He clenched his jaw tightly. Charming wasn't helping. 

"Oh relax James. Her chamber maid told me she skipped breakfast. Once she wakes she can eat and she'll be good as new," Snow reassured them. She was obviously the one to go to in a time of crisis. 

"He could have had something to do with this." The king pointed an accusatory finger at Killian but the pirate simply rolled his eyes. There was no way Snow would believe that. 

"I ruled out foul play some time ago," she said dryly. Charming scowled but said nothing. 

They fell into silence, all eyes fixed on the sleeping princess. While normally Killian would have loved a chance to watch Eva sleep, this time it only unsettled him. Passed out Eva looked nothing like he remembered. Her hair was still braided, unlike the loose tresses he remembered. She lay flat and still on her back, not spread out on her stomach taking up all of the space. Even her face looked more troubled than it ought to have been during sleep. 

Killian wondered if the only difference between the old and the new was that one of them didn't have him. If Eva accepted him, would she return to letting down her hair, and taking his side of the bed, and smiling in her sleep? God, he certainly hoped so. That would only prove that she was better off with him in her life.

Eva groaned softly and shifted In bed, pouring them all at attention. Despite already being as close as the bed's end board would allow him, Killian found himself leaning forward. Eva's eyes fluttered, another groan, a hand slowly moving to run down her face. Then without warning, she shot up, scrambling back against the head board and searching the room frantically for something they couldn't see. The towel fell to the floor, unnoticed.

"Eva, its okay, its just us honey." Eva seemed to focus in on her mother and relax fractionally.

"What happened?" Her father asked as he took a seat on her other side. Killian knew where he wasn't needed. She was fine and her parents were handling it. As he was about to sneak away, Eva's eyes landed on him. They were so filled with fear and pain that he froze before he could take a step.

"It was that night. I was fine one second, then the next, I was plunged into ice cold water. It was like pins and needles pressing into every inch of my skin. And it was so dark. I couldn't tell which way was up, and the water was pulling me every way. Then it was in my mouth, pushing down my thoat. I-" Eva cut off, covering her mouth with a hand. 

Killian tried to think of something to say to comfort her but he could think of nothing. He himself thought he needed some comfort. It had never occurred to him that in regaining her memories, Eva would also remember drowning. It wasn't worth it. All he wanted to do was erase every hurt she'd ever felt. 

"Can we have a minute please?" Eva asked thickly. Killian knew she wanted him to leave but he couldn't move. Couldn't leave her after that. All he wanted to do was hold her, protect her. She was so pale, shaking. 

"Killian?" Snow had such a look of horror on her face he couldn't say no. He nodded to her, the pale king, and stepped back. But Eva was looking at him like she was still drowning. 

"Actually i was hoping for a moment with Killian," she said softly, turning her gaze to her parents. 

Snow looked at them unsure, but stood and signaled her husband. James scrunched his eye brows. "You can't be serious." James said standing. Killian's eyes were glued to Eva. She was barely holding it together. 

"Please daddy," Eva pleaded. 

"Are you certain?" Eva nodded without hesitation. Something in the king's posture changed Immediately. Probably resignation.

"We'll be in our chambers if you need us. And you need to eat something soon." Then her parents reluctantly stepped out.

Eva seemed to cave in on herself the moment her door shut, falling forward. She sobbed loudly into her hands, pulling her knees up. Killian stood frozen in place for a moment. They weren't what they used to be. Was it his place? She had asked for him. And he'd never seen her so broken. What else was he to do? 

It didn't take more than a moment to decide that he couldn't watch her like that and do nothing. He rushed to her side, slid into her bed and pulled Eva into his arms. She hesitated, but it was only a second before Eva was wrapped herself around him sobbing into Killian's shoulder. He held her gently, stroking her hair and hoping it helped, his being there. 

"Its okay," he murmured into her hair even though he knew very well that nothing was okay. Not when she was in pain. It almost made him want to leave her side, seek out Regina and make her pay. "It's okay now."

"Im sorry," She choked out between sobs. "I didn't want them to see," she gasped for air. "It's just," Gasp, "It hurts," Gasp, "It hurts so badly." Eva clung tighter to him, struggling to breath. He felt each shaky breath acutely as it rushed across his neck.

"It's just fine. We're here, I'm here. You don't have to think about that nastiness," Killian murmured. 

"I can feel it," she whimpered. "The cold, how scared I was. I was so sure I was going to die. That I wouldn't get to tell you I love you one more time," Eva explained, pulling away. Tears were caught in her eye lashes, eyes red and puffy. Her cheeks were wet. "I love you," she said seriously. So much so that he didn't know how to respond. Eva had been denying him ever since she'd returned. It wasn't possible. He couldn't let himself hope. 

"You're emotions are just high. It's alright, love." Killian smiled gently, hoping she couldn't tell how much he wished it was true. Eva offered a wobble smile in response, cupping his face softly. 

"No, I truly mean it. You have been nothing short of the man of my dreams since the moment I met you. And when I thought I was dying, I woke, only wanting you. Killian, I don't know who you used to be and I don't care. I just know that you're the man who has earned my trust twice now, and I love you." And despite her tear stained appearance, she seemed sincere, clear. 

Killian didn't know what to say. He was at a loss. He'd been prepared to fight for Eva just as he had for Emma. But he'd never in his wildest dreams thought that she would come back to him so soon. Yes, she'd seemed to have been warming up to him that morning, but how was he to know where that would lead. And now she was sitting before him staring at him with wide worried eyes, stroking his cheeks. As if he would say anything except-

"I love you too."

He didn't know who leaned forward first, only that he'd forgotten how perfectly their lips fit together.

\-----

"I've done everything differently and it's changed nothing." James spoke the moment Eva's bedroom door closed. "She's choosing him once again." Snow sighed softly as she began down the hall. She was glad to be right but that was over shadowed by worry for Eva. She needed to take better care of herself.

"You know she could have done worse," Snow said offhandedly as her husband reluctantly followed. She could sense how badly he wanted to stay and press his ear to the door. 

"What's worse than a kidnapping pirate with no manners?" Snow had to grin at that. Her husband could be so blind sometimes. 

"He's not a pirate any longer. You know he didn't kidnap her. And while his manners aren't the best, they're existent." James scowled. 

"Barely."

"You might try giving him a chance. A real one. He is our son in-law." Snow laughed on the inside at the genius of it. 

"Hah, I still don't believe that. How unfortunate Eva has no memory to confirm that little tid bit," James responded, crossing his arms. "But it would seem that at this point I have no choice in the matter." Snow almost stopped in her place. Had she won? After all that time had he finally given in?

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" James offered her a reluctant smile. 

"Maybe Killian and I can spend some time together. I can get to know him and decide whether or not to have him assassinated in his sleep," James joked. Joked because he knew Snow would never let him. 

"Wonderful! That just leaves one more thing. Who was right?" She turned to her husband expectantly. James didn't even hesitate, though his pain was clear. 

"You were right, Snow."

\-----

She absolutely could not believe it. 

Regina had been so sure that Emma had been dead. She'd threatened that man's children. That always produced the truth. So what the hell had happened? Why would the princess disappear for weeks, lead everyone to believe she was dead, then return as though nothing had happened. There was something she had to be missing. 

Clearly the guard had lied. Emma must have gone on a trip of some sort. Her parents hadn't even announced her passing to the kingdom, so Regina had been going soley on what a man had told her. How could she have been so stupid? She couldn't afford to make any mistakes in her line of work. She would just have to return to their kingdom and take care of the princess herself. 

But how to do it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S I'm sorry its so brief


	24. Afire Love

Eva's eyes fluttered open as she pulled away. Except her name wasn't Eva, it was most definitely Emma. And as she stared at the man who was looking at her like she'd hung the moon and stars, Emma remembered everything. She remembered her home, and leaving it, and being truly happy at sea. And she remembered Killian Jones. 

"Eva?" He was confused, she could see it on her face. And worried. Emma smiled, shook her head. 

"I prefer Emma." Killian furrowed his brow. Did the little head tilt thing that she thought was so adorable. 

"Why would you pr-" But Emma cut him off before he could continue. Clearly he didn't think she would be getting her memories back. 

"I am Emma," she said meaningfully. Killian looked at her. Really looked. She watched the realization slowly come to him. 

"You mean...?"

"I remember everything," she answered for him. 

Suddenly she was crying for an entirely different reason. Because she remembered being Eva too. She remembered that he'd thought she was dead. That he'd come home and helped her mother even though he'd been in pain himself. That she'd denied him at every turn. And after all of that, he still looked happier than she'd seen him in weeks. 

And finally, they were together. 

Emma laughed through her tears. She was finally home, her parents were treating her like an adult, she had Killian, and she couldn't imagine it getting any better. Maybe some memories would never fade completely, like that of her drowning, but she would survive. She had people who loved her to help her through it. 

"Welcome back, Swan," Killian finally answered, kissing away her tears. "I'm never letting go of you again."

She thought maybe he wasn't joking from the way his arms tightened around her, but then, she didn't really mind if he wasn't.

\-----

After tearing herself away before she and Killian did something regrettable in her bedroom that most certainly did not lock, Emma began the search for her parents. It didn't last all that long considering they'd told her where they would be. She gripped her necklace, one she would never remove again, so tightly that it dug into the palm of her hand. There was no reason to be nervous. It was just her parents, she told herself. 

"Mom? Dad?" Emma called as she knocked on the heavy door. Her father opened it instantly, not even bothering to hold back his worry. 

"Is everything alright? Did Killian do something?" He narrowed his eyes and searched behind Emma, but she was just surprised her father was calling him by his first name. When had that happened? And when had he begun looking less murderous at the mention of her ex-pirate? Her lover? Her suitor? She wasn't exactly sure what she was supposed to call him now that they were together again and home. 

"Yes, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk." Her father nodded and opened the door wider. Emma slipped through as he closed it behind them. There were pieces of parchment strewn across the floor, and three plates. Two with half finished roast, the third covered. 

"We were going to bring you a plate at your father's insistence," her mom said from her spot on the floor, rolling her eyes. Emma smiled at the knowledge that her father would never change. His overprotective instincts were ridiculous. And appreciated. 

"That sounds delicious. I wanted to talk anyways." Emma took a seat beside her mother, picking up the covered plate and peeling off the foil. The smell had her salivating instantly. "What are you two up to?"

"We are trying to stem the rumors that the princess is dead. It's quite difficult given how long you were away," her father explained, taking a seat across from them on the stone floor. She pretended not to notice the tightness in his features. She'd hurt them too. She should have been more careful. She didn't regret leaving, but maybe she should have listened when Killian told her to stay below deck. Emma grimaced, taking a bit of the meat on her plate and groaning quietly. She was starving. 

"Don't worry, we have it handled. What did you want to talk about?" Her parents both looked up, giving her their undivided attention. 

"I just, I was thinking about when you gave this to me," Emma said to her father, fingering her swan necklace. "I loved it so much. Didn't take it off for years. Not until we had that one argument. I honestly can't tell you what it was even about. I'm just so sorry I let it tear us apart. I'm sorry I turned my back on you. I love you both so much" she admitted, looking up at her parents as she fought tears. Emma had never seen her parents look so hesitant as they did in that moment. 

"You remember?" Her mother's voice wobbled slightly, seeming to speak for him. They looked almost scared to imagine it. 

"Every last bit."

"Oh Emma!" Her mother cried, lurching forward and pulling the princess into her arms. 

"I can't believe it. How did this happen?" Her father suddenly there as well, arms wrapped around them both. Emma didn't know what to do besides hug them back as tightly as she could. She didn't know how it was possible but she had missed them so much. And she felt the most overwhelming guilt for putting them through the loss of a child. She would never leave them on bad terms again. 

But she couldn't linger on that bad feeling. Her parents were stroking her hair and she was pretty sure her mother was crying, and they were together. Emma had never realized how instrumental her parents were to her happiness. But she couldn't imaging ever feeling so light and happy without them in her life. It was amazing.

"I don't know," Emma responded breathlessly. "We kissed, Killian and me. Then suddenly I could remember everything." Emma thought for a moment that she should take it back, but her father needed to come to terms with the reality of it. Now more than ever, Killian was an anchor in Emma's life, and she couldn't see herself ever being as happy with anyone as she was with him. 

"Oh that couldn't be it Emma. True love's kiss can break any curse, but it isn't a cure," her mother said softly, stoking her cheek. 

"I don't care what it was. I'm just glad you're back." Emma looked at her father in surprise. No back handed comment about the underhanded pirate? No dirty looks, or insistence that it couldn't be true love?

"Me too." Emma was surprised at how her own voice wobbled, but no one seemed to notice or care.

\-----

Killian stepped out into the garden and looked up at the full moon hovering in the sky. He vaguely wondered if Ruby was howling to it, but pushed the thought away. That wasn't what he was there for. Killian tightened his jacket against the slight chill. He maneuvered through endless thinning bushes, until he found who he was looking for. 

"Thank you for meeting me," Charming said from form his spot on a small stone bench. Killian took a seat beside him and smiled. He could see the grassy spot where he'd sat last time he'd visited the gardens. It was a lifetime ago, surely.

"Last time we were here I believe you intended to kill me," Killian stated. He wasn't upset over it. He understood the king more than the man probably thought. Which was why he was sure the king hadn't changed his opinion of Killian. There was a very real probability that James had lured him away to kill him and hide the body. But as he glanced at the man, he looked at peace. More calm than Killian had ever seen him.

"And this time I intend to hear you out. Tell me, why should I should allow you to court Emma?"

Killian's heart stopped for a moment. What? It had to be a trick. He would pretend to hear Killian out, then reject him completely or have him offed while there were no witnesses. There was no way in hell that King James was seriously allowing him to plead his case. Not after everything that had happened. What had Emma and her parents talked about? 

"Killian, there are half a dozen places I would rather be right now. Would you hurry it up?" Killian jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. It was actually happening. He was being given a real chance. 

"I love her," he began. But then he was suddenly at a loss for words. Killian had imagined the scenario a million different times, and yet his mind went completely blank as Charming stared at him. It occurred to him that he couldn't exactly tell the king that he had the best station or the most money. He had no land or family. 

"You love her?"

"Aye." Charming stood abruptly and walked a few paces before turning back, arms crossed. He looked like he was in pain. That made two.

"I'm putting a lot of faith in you. Faith I'm not entirely sure isn't misplaced. I'm going to need a little more than that." Killian laughed lowly, smiling. What could he say? She could do better. Someone less dangerous, crude, and disliked. 

But Emma had faith in him, she had since day one. She saw through everything to the man he could be, that he was with her. Killian couldn't let her down at the last moment, not when her father was giving him a fighting chance. Say what they would about him, but Killian was a fighter, and he would fight until the day Emma ordered him away.

"My ship, my crew, they were the only home I've ever known and I turned them away without a single glance back. I have never once regret that decision, and I would do it again in a heartbeat, even after everything that has transpired. Emma is my home now." James seemed unconvinced by his his confession, but the man dropped his arms with a sigh. 

"Fine. Do as you please. I very well can't do anything about it." The resignation was clear as he took a seat beside Killian once more. Killian was sure that it would be for the best if he hid his absolute amazement. The man who had been hellbent on killing him for months was allowing him to be with his daughter. He hardly wanted to push his luck.

"Thank you," Kilian said after a moment."I won't disappoint you," 

"You'd better not, or there won't be a force in this land that could stop me from acting." Killian swallowed thickly and nodded. He had no doubt the king was entirely serious. But he was glad for that. It was someone else who could hold him accountable. He'd never had that before and now there were three people promising it. 

"I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow morning," James said, clapping Killian on the shoulder and standing. 

Killian watched him go as a wide grin took over his face. It was actually, finally happening. He almost couldn't believe it. He laughed out loud at the shock of it all. James had given his approval. All Killian wanted to do was run to Emma and share the news. But unfortunately, there was something more important that he had to take care of first. 

With a sigh, he stood and began the trek back to the castle. He wished he could see Emma first, but his mood was hardly dampened. The task at hand and what it would lead to was almost as exciting. He needed to get in contact with Smee and his ship would have to be brought back into harbor. If he wanted to be back before dawn, he would have to hurry and send word.

\-----

"It's been a while, dearie. What brings you into this stretch of woods?" Rumplestiltskin didn't even turn around as Regina walked through his doors. 

She hadn't been to visit him in 20 or so years and yet, not much had changed. Except that the place seemed to be a bit cleaner than it ever had been before. Belle was doing wonders for him then. She just hoped his new house cleaner was changing too much. She still needed his help, and Regina was far from the good guy.

"I need a favor." Rumple turned away from the giant glass windows that overlooked the forest, meeting Regina with a smirk. 

"And why on earth would I assist you with anything?" It was Regina's turn to smirk as she took a seat at one of the two chair that sat at both ends of the ridiculously long table. Honestly, everything with the man was so overdone. Tacky carpets, way too many knick knacks, a completely impractical dining room table. 

"Because I didn't tell the Charmings about your involvement in the curse." His grin slowly disappeared. In the blink of an eye, he was before her. 

"And what makes you think I won't just kill you now?" He asked in a tight voice. Regina was actually fairly proud of her current plan. And it had only required a tiny bit of threatening. 

"If I don't return by nightfall, neither will Belle. Where is she? Visiting her father?" If it were possible, the color would have drained from his skin. "But by all means, make the gamble," Regina offered. Rumplestiltskin turned away for a moment. She knew she'd won. It was obvious. 

"Very well, dearie. What is it you want?" When he faced her once again, his grin was back. But she could see the cracks. 

"Well, I did some snooping. I'd been planning to kill that whole retched family in one swoop when I heard something interesting. The princess is in love with a pirate. The very same one who's hand you took off." Regina saw the interest flicker across Rumple's eyes. He would have no problem playing his part.

"Continue."

"Well it occurred to me that I was overlooking an even better form of revenge. I couldn't stop the Charmings from being happy, but it would certainly taint that happiness if they knew I'd ruined their daughter's chance at true love. And Emma, well why kill her when I can watch her live a life away from the man she loves. Maybe I wont get their kingdom, but there are others out there. As long as I can live knowing they're all miserable."

"So you want me to kill him?" Rumple asked with a giggle. He tapped his fingers together as a smile formed. Regina shrugged. 

"After everything is done, I honestly don't care what you do to Jones. But first, I need you to do something else for me...."

\-----

"So you know where the Jolly Roger is docked? Are you certain, because this is of grave importance." 

The woman nodded, leaning against the stone wall of the alley. Killian wasn't sure if he believed her, but he didn't exactly have a choice. He needed to get a hold of Smee and she was his only lead. Reluctantly, he pulled a slip of paper from his vest, and offered it to her. It was vague enough that he didn't worry. Just an order to return as soon as possible. 

"So you can get this to the Captain quickly?"

"Not a problem," she said. The woman pushed herself forward, snagging the note and slipping it into her corset. "I will require some form of payment."

"No doubt," Killian responded to her smile with one of his own. He pulled a small pouch from his pocket and placed it in her tiny hand. "This should be sufficient for the task." The woman shook it slightly and nodded. The pouch jingled. He was sure she would have taken something else in payment but he hadn't fancied that method in some time.

"Very well. Consider it done." 

She disappeared down the alley. Killian smiled to himself, a job well done. Soon Smee would dock and call for him. Then everything else would fall into place. For the first time in a long time everything was working out just as he hoped. Killian could actually see a future for himself where everything wouldn't just be alright, it would be perfect.


	25. Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long it's been. I just moved and we only got internet in my new house yesterday. To make it up to you guys, I'm posting two chapters, and the next one is a special one. Enjoy!

Killian woke at dawn, a habit he'd formed long ago, and stretched slowly, careful not to fall off the side of the bed. Killian looked down at Emma with bleary eyes. Just a smudge of gold before he blinked and focused. Emma's mouth was slightly open. Her hair fanned out behind her, a few strands falling over her nose. Her arm was tossed over his stomach, but the rest of her was taking up all of the bed. 

Killian knew he had to go, but he couldn't help but be a little selfish. He wanted to watch her for just a moment longer, despite the risk. Relish in the slice of happiness he'd been given. With a small smile, he gently brushed her hair from her face. She was so beautiful it sometimes took his breath away. And the morning light coming in, it did magical things to her. 

The way the sunshine caressed her skin, she seemed almost as if she was made of it. And for the first time in some time, Killian was reminded of his time in Neverland. Of mermaids who shimmered like gold then disappeared in the murky depths. How they spun silken melodies in voices sent down from the heavens, making Killian forget he'd ever felt any thing but that perfect bliss. 

But with mermaids also came fear. Fear of razor teeth, quick as lightning. Fear of jagged cliffs previously unnoticed. They were dangerous things, and though Emma's teeth were perfectly straight, Killian thought Emma was more of a mermaid than a swan by leaps and bounds. Though who's to say they were mutually exclusive?

She was an enchanting creature who could wipe his worries away with only a glance. And she struck fear into his heart like he had never known at the thought of losing her. Killian smiled at himself in amazement. He'd left the sea, but he hadn't left danger behind entirely. He supposed he would always crave a little danger in his life, once a pirate, always a pirate.

One more glance, then Killian reluctantly eased himself out of bed. He lifted the blanket slowly, feeling the chilled air raise goosebumps on his skin as it was exposed. Then he slid her arm onto the bed softly. As she always did when he was leaving, despite his greatest efforts, Emma woke. Emma waking made it harder to leave, but Killian would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the fact that she felt his absence. First it was a shift in his direction, then slowly opening eyes.

"Already?" She mumbled lowly, frowning up at him. 

"Aye, I'm afraid so." Killian slid from her grip and stood. The floor was freezing. 

It was getting cooler, fall was descending upon them. But that hadn't stopped them from shedding all of their clothing the night before. Sure, they'd been forced to procure a few extra blankets and curl up together, but it had been worthwhile. Killian wished more than anything he didn't have to go. But still better not to push his luck.

"Fine, but you're definitely better than this pillow," Emma said, pulling a pillow into her arms and lying on top of it. The blanket slid down her back and Killian hesitated. Was death by furious king really so bad?

"You're a cruel one," Killian muttered, turning away. Even turned away, he knew she was grinning ear to ear. Killian was the same. Aye, she was definitely a mermaid. He found his pants, under her bed, and tugged them on, his boots following. The sun was already beginning to peek out over the trees outside Emma's window. He needed to go. Killian couldn't find his jacket so he settled for just his shirt and vest.

Maybe it was a sign that he needed to begin dressing the part, he thought as he picked his hook up from her nightstand. He was no longer the fearsome Captain Hook. Killian had chosen Emma. Maybe it was time to put it all behind him. Killian attached his hook. He would put it somewhere safe, but he didn't think he would ever be able to get rid of it. It was such a huge part of his past. Of who he was. 

That would be like forgetting Milah, forgetting the hell that followed. Killian loved Emma with all of his heart, but once upon a time he'd loved Milah too. And she'd taught him things about love, and family that he'd never known before her. Regardless of how it had all ended, he was grateful that he had known Milah. She'd been his first love, and he was sure that without her, he would have never met Emma. Or he would have been so god awful Emma would have fled from him on sight. 

"You love me." Emma yawned loudly and burrowed under the covers, letting her eyes fall shut. He really did.

"I do. I'll see you at breakfast, Swan." Killian pressed a small kiss to her forehead and slipped out the door. 

The corridors were empty and silent. He knew that someone would be coming to wake Emma soon. Her parents had decided that they would now be taking breakfast together. He hoped they would be at least slightly more cheerful than his breakfasts with Snow. They had been somber affairs that Killian had no desire to repeat. 

He shook the thought away as he headed for his own chamber. Killian also had no desire to revisit his time without Emma. All he felt was shame at the memories. Shame that he'd lost her in the first place, that he'd succumbed to revenge once again, even though he'd failed miserably the first time. And most of all, he was ashamed of the fact that she'd been alive the entire time and he hadn't found her. He'd promised to take care of her and he couldn't even bring her home. 

Well, he would just have to spend the rest of his life making up for it. 

\-----

When Emma woke the second time, it was to a knocking at her door. She groaned and buried her face in her pillow, wondering if they would go away if she didn't answer. It wasn't likely, but she couldn't bring herself to move. The blankets were so warm wrapped around her, and the pillow still smelled of the leather and soap that Killian used.

"Emma! You promised your mother you would be at breakfast. Open up this instant!"

Emma shot up in bed, cheeks red. She had agreed to that. Her family was undergoing a bit if a change at the moment and so far, they seemed to be mostly good. She wasn't going to ruin her winning streak. With a sigh, she dropped the pillow in her arms and slipped from bed, wincing at the feel of the cold floor on her toes. 

"You're right, as always," Emma called, rolling her eyes at the admission before Ruby could see her. She opened the extremely unlocked door and eyed her friend. "Since when do you wait outside?" Ruby raised an eyebrow at her and slipped past the princess. 

"Since you began living under the same roof as your beloved," Ruby teased, batting her eyelashes. Emma laughed as she shut the door. She had a point. 

"I wouldn't worry. Killian is very careful."

"Oh I bet he is," Ruby said with a knowing smile as she stepped into Emma's closet. "How do you find anything in here? It's a mess."

Emma waited in her bedroom, removing her nightgown. "I never go in there for anything proper, so I don't."

"Clearly." Ruby scoffed, coming out of her closet with a pile of clothing. She wouldn't be joining them for breakfast, but she'd agreed to help Emma get dressed so she wouldn't have to endure the stiff company of one of her chamber maids and a stiff dress.

Her chamber maids were normally just fine, but recently she'd noticed a change. Maids walked a bit of a wider circle around her, mostly the older ones. They gave her disapproving looks, though they were careful not to act overtly offensive. She was still a princess. A princess who was smart enough to deduce that they did not approve of her choices when it came to suitors.

"How is Graham?" Emma asked, on the business of suitors. 

Ruby rolled her eyes as she slid the chemise over Emma's head and adjusted it. "He has it in his mind that we should get married." Emma started and turned her head back at her friend in shock. Ruby was acting like it would be the worst thing in the world to marry a man she loved. 

"Why don't you sound excited? Was his proposal bad?" It was the only thing she could think of. Ruby slipped on her corset and began pulling the ties gently at first. 

"No," she said slowly. "That was the most tolerable part of the whole thing. We went into the woods with a party to hunt and to let my wolf out for a bit. The others had returned but he waited for me. And when I changed back, there he was with this ring, telling me he would always love both parts of me. That I was the only woman for him. It was so unbearably romantic I felt bad saying no." 

Ruby pulled especially tight. Emma flinched. "Sorry," she mumbled. 

"Red, why did you say no?" But she didn't respond. 

Emma leaned forward, grabbing her bed post as Ruby set to work on tightening the corset to an acceptable width. She was ruthless as any chambermaid just like Emma knew she would be. By the time her friend tied the last knot, her ribs were sore, her chest was tight, and something was stabbing her hip, but she could still breathe. Emma turned to find her friend biting her lip. 

"I do want to marry him. Eventually. But things are so perfect now. Everything has settled down and we're so happy, I just don't want to ruin it. And I definitely don't want children yet but he'll expect that of me once I'm his wife. It's just too much." Ruby turned Emma back around and slipped her gown over her head. 

Emma couldn't believe it. Ruby was scared. She'd never been scared once in all of the years that Emma had known her, yet here she was, biting her lip, treading carefully. "He's taking it all well. Waiting patiently for me to change my mind as he's so sure I will," Ruby added. 

Emma wasn't surprised. Graham was a good man and he would eventually bring Red around. They loved each other, naturally that meant that the next step would be marriage. But just in case, Emma offered her own little bit of help as Ruby began tying her gown.

"He loves you as you are. He doesn't expect you to become someone different simply because you have a ring. The only thing that will change after you are married is that you two will be completely dedicated to each other." Emma explained. She could hear the sigh that followed. 

"Logically, I know that. I just can't help my worries." Then Ruby laughed suddenly and loudly, making Emma jump. "Oh god, did you ever think you would hear me say that." Emma joined her after a moment, realizing she hadn't. In fact, she would have bet money that Ruby would never say those words. Ruby was still tense, but now they were both smiling. 

Her friend braided her hair, as Emma always wore it around her. Then Ruby removed it at her request. Emma was slowly meshing Killian into her world, and he made her want to leave it down. Though Ruby did place a tiny braid in there somewhere. She fixed her swan necklace so it lay in the center of her chest and slipped on her boots. 

Her dress was a nicer gown, a deep green with white ruffles on the ends of her elbow length sleeves and her low neckline, and brass buttons trailing down the front bodice and skirts. It was quite a bit for breakfast but Emma wanted to make her mother and father happy. She was fairly certain they'd bought the gown for her on some birthday of another. 

"You're looking more and more like a princess everyday," Ruby said from her seat on Emma's bed. She hadn't noticed her friend had sat down. There was a look in her eyes that was new to Emma. It was a good new, not the scary kind. 

"I feel more like one." And it was true. She finally felt like she could handle anything. Especially with Killian by her side. After everything they'd been through, nothing could get in their way.

"Well, I can guess why. And I never thought it would happen, but the gossip is that even your father has warmed up to Killian. All you have left to do is get your prince." Ruby winked and stood to pinch Emma's cheeks like they had when they were younger. "Go knock him dead."

\-----

As Emma spread jam on her slice of toast, her mother and father discussed crops. It was time to harvest and they were discussing how they thought the kingdom would fare this coming winter. Emma was interested and she knew these things would be important to her soon but for some reason she couldn't focus. It had to be because someone was late. 

Emma took a bite out of her toast. Pirate. 

"My apologies for the tardiness. I was out for a walk this morning and the weather stopped me."

Speak of the devil. Emma turned, as her place at the table left her back to the door, to greet him. Her hello froze on her lips. Perhaps she had gotten so used to it that it's absence was startling, but Emma wasn't sure how she felt about the fact that Killian's hook was gone. Instead a hand with a black glove was in its place. He'd worn it to Ariel's wedding if memory served her. 

"What do you mean? The weather is lovely." Emma turned away from her quickly approaching beau to her father. Did his tone lack a certain malice that it always had with Killian? Was Ruby right? When had that happened?

"You look breathtaking as always, love." Killian placed a kiss to her cheek and took a seat beside her. Why did her father look so calm? No tirade about public affection?

"Thank you..." It could be a dream.

"It won't stay that way, I'm certain. Hell will be raining down by mid afternoon." Emma had to fight a smile as Killian slipped his right hand into hers under the table. It was warm and calloused.

"What makes you so sure?" Her father asked, leaning forward slightly. Emma was officially positive that she was dreaming. Her father and Killian we're sitting at the breakfast table getting along. He was stroking her hand with his thumb. Emma and her mother met gazes and smiled at each other. 

"Some things are obvious, like the animals hiding. Other things are more subtle, like the change in the air that you learn to sense after years at sea. I couldn't describe it if tried," he added the last part with an almost sheepish grin. Emma took another bite of her toast so she wouldn't kiss him. "It seems to be a big one."

Her father nodded. "Good to know."

"I'll send word. Certain measures will have to be taken." Snow stood. Killian and her father moved to stand as well, but she waved them down. Sometimes protocol was too much for her mother. She kissed her husband and Emma, and patted Killian on his shoulder. Then she took her leave. 

"I don't think she could be more pleased if she tried," her father said, leaning back in his chair. 

"I think you may be right about that, mate," Killian replied stealing Emma's toast and popping the last bit of it into his mouth. She folded her hands in her lap at the loss of his. What the hell was going on?

"What the hell is going on?" Killian raised an eyebrow at her, trying to smother a grin, and her father stared with blatant shock. Oops, did she say that out loud? "I just meant to say, that, um, you two seem to be thick as thieves?" Emma amended, checking to see if her father would let it slip. He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. 

"I recently decided it would be in my best interest to give Jones here a chance," her father said in a much lighter tone than his voice usually had when talking about him. Emma had to give credit to her mother, she was clearly a miracle worker. She didn't know how the woman had done it but she was so grateful. Emma couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face. 

"While I'm glad we're on better terms, I must say it ruins some of the appeal, having your father's approval," Killian joked. Emma could not disagree more. 

"I can't imagine. My father hated Snow, and I was nothing but relieved when that was taken care of," her father responded. He chuckled as he thought back on it and Emma contemplated whether or not she was living in an alternate universe. Was it too much to hope for it to stay so pleasant?

"Aye, Snow mentioned it. Made me glad I was away the last few hundred years." Emma was beginning to think Killian spoke with her parents more frequently than she did."Though I knew a boy who would rival even her." 

"A boy?" Her father leaned forward in interest. Emma did not, though she was no less interested. Killian had hadn't gotten to half of his stories with her.

"A lad by the name of peter pan..."

Emma and the king listened as Killian told them about Pan. Apparently he was a nasty little fellow with far too much power, who employed Killian during his less than honorable days. Emma didn't worry about that. She was just shocked that a child could be so cruel. Kidnapping children, killing and manipulating people. How had Killian ever escaped?

\-----

Ruby left Emma’s room with a slightly lighter heart, secretly glad Emma regained her memories. Ruby was fine with Eva, but as much as she hated to admit it, those years of memories were important. They bonded the friends in an unbreakable way. which made her advice great, but impossible to take. It was just such a huge leap of faith to say yes. Even to a man as perfect as Graham. 

She had spent a lifetime dealing with men who thought they could tell her what she could and couldn’t do. Graham was the first man to ask her what she wanted to do. And listen. What if marriage changed that? It was unlikely, but possible. She'd never met a man like him aside from the king, and Kilian she supposed. What did that mean?

With a sigh, she entered her own chamber. It was substantially smaller than Emma’s but it did the trick. A decent sized bed, a dresser, and a trunk at the foot of her bed that held everything she owned save for the clothes on her back. There was a small window looking out into the forest, and the little light shone on the awful beige that covered the walls and carpet.

But Ruby ignored all of that and zeroed in on the man who was lying on her bed, feet hanging off of the end. He was flipping a knife in the air, catching it with his hand, then tossing it back up again. When he realized she’d returned, Graham sat up, slipping the knife back into his boot in a seamless motion that he'd performed hundreds of times before. 

“Will you marry me?” Graham asked for the hundredth time, since the first. 

He’d been doing that too. Asking over and over thinking he would wear her down. It bothered her that he wouldn't simply take her answer and drop it, but she knew he was pestering her out of love. And a slight lack of people skills. Ruby simply ignored him and slipped off the slip she’d worn to Emma’s room. It was nothing he'd never seen before, and she didn't give her nudity a second thought. Regardless of how everything turned out, she knew it wouldn't spell the end for them.

She knelt beside her trunk and shuffled her belongings aside, a hunting knife, her spare boots, the stuffed bear her grandmother gave her, and found a dress suitable for going out. She wouldn't be hunting and it was probably better to save her breeches for when they were needed. “Tie me up?”

There was the squeak then thump of Graham getting off of her bed, then she listened as he slowly approached. Graham slowly, and gently, tied the laces of her gown, tucking the knot in. She loved how he did it the best, because the chamber maids always tied it too tight. He knew exactly when to stop. She felt his hands slowly fall down, until they rested on her hips. Ruby leaned into the comforting weight of them, pressing her back against him. Why couldn't it always be so calm?

“Why not?” he breathed into her neck just as she relaxed. Ruby sighed, pulling away. Why couldn’t he leave well enough alone? They could be so happy if he would just drop the idiotic idea of marriage. “Don’t you love me?”

“Of course I do!” Ruby spun around to face Graham in shock. How could he think that? But she could tell by the look on his face that he’d been considering it. She considered saying yes if only to swipe that dejected look from his face. But she'd always looked out for herself. She needed to put her happiness first. 

“Do you never want to marry?” 

“Perhaps one day,” Ruby replied unsure. She did want to get married one day, have children, but it would be some time. She just didn’t want Graham to get his hopes up. 

“But not today,” he said slowly, stepping back and falling onto her bed. He rested his chin in his hands and stared off to the side. 

“But I love you. And when I picture myself being married, it’s always to you. I’m just not ready yet,” Ruby explained taking a seat beside him and stroking his cheek. She really wasn’t. It couldn’t be normal to be so terrified at the thought of marriage. Graham leaned into her palm. 

“I’m sorry for pushing. I’ll try to understand.”

Ruby knew that all he wanted was to get married and she couldn’t describe how appreciative she was that he was going to put that dream on hold for her. He was already approaching his thirtieth year, and she knew there were other girls in the palace who would consent to marriage in an instant. But he wanted to wait for her. His eyes met hers with such sincerity that she had to wonder how she’d gotten so lucky. 

“Thank you,” Ruby said with a grin, surging forward and placing a kiss on his lips. 

She felt Graham smile beneath her lips, any doubts she’d had about the man disappeared. He was the one for her. And one day, he would pull the ring from his pocket where she knew it was still safely tucked away, and he would propose. 

Next time he asked, she knew she would say yes. 

\-----

"Take a walk with me, my lady?" Killian asked teasingly. Emma glanced at her father who nodded and stood himself. She was sure he had his own business to attend to, although she had to admit that this acceptance was still coming as a surprise to her. Killian and Emma stood as well, sighing in relief as she stood, and she took his arm he offered. It still squeezed painfully, but it was easier to breathe while standing. 

"I'll have her back before the weather turns," he offered, before leading Emma out of the massive dining room. 

The moment they were out of her father's line of sight, Killian's grin became nearly face splitting. "Did you see that?" he whispered loudly, quickening his pace. Emma laughed, nearly jogging to keep up. She was not hugely capable with the corset but she tried. 

"Yes, I did. What in the world did you do with my father?" Killian glanced down the hall surreptitiously and pulled Emma into the nearest linen closet. Emma allowed him to drag her in and shut the door behind them quietly. She could feel the excitement pouring off of him in waves. She couldn't remember the last time he'd been like that. 

"I have no idea, but I never expected all of that. It's almost as if he approves of me," Killian said laughing. He ran a hand through his hair in absolute shock. 

Emma always knew that it would make things easier, her father's approval, but she'd never thought that Killian would be so overjoyed at the prospect. He was practically glowing. She wished her father could see the affect he had on the man. It reminded Emma of how he'd grown up, living with a man who could hardly be considered a father. Maybe they could share hers. 

With a grin she pulled his face down and pressed a small kiss to his lips. "I think he most definitely approves," she assured him. Anything to keep that radiant smile on his face. It made her heart throb pleasantly. 

"Honestly love, I'm feeling up for some sparring." He turned his excited eyes on her and she melted. He could have anything he wanted when he looked at her like that. And she would love to get out of her bone crushing dress. She could already feel the pressure loosening in her mind.. 

"I would love to as long as you help me out of this monstrosity," Emma complained slipping her hand into his and leading the way out of the closet. 

"I'll be sad to see it go," Killian twirled her as they walked, almost tipping her over, but he steadied her easily. "But I'm sure there are...benefits to your plan." He winked suggestively. Emma shoved his shoulder, but didn't release his hand. His little comments had grown on her. 

"I'm sure there are," she replied just as suggestively. 

If they walked just a little faster, no one was the wiser.


	26. Rise From The Ashes

-Many years ago in a far away land-

"So you don't want to play anymore." Pan circled him, not revealing a thing.

"Aye, time to shove off, find new waters. The pirates life." 

Hook kept his own stoic expression in tact. Pan was not the man to let into your thoughts. Once he knew a man's intentions, it was all over. Pan already knew what Hook wanted more than anything else, so he was hoping for mercy. He'd come across many a fearsome foe, but not a soul scared him the way Peter Pan did. 

"Don't lie to me. Really, I thought we were closer than that." Pan stopped in front of him, sticking him with one of those smirks that made him want to impale the lad on his hook. But he didn't move a muscle. Pan could destroy him in a moment and Hook knew it. 

"If you know what I want, then you know I can't do it while I'm here. Release me from your service. From the Island." Hook didn't want to sound like he was begging, but he was. He would never be able to crush the crocodile's heart in his fist if he was tethered to pan. 

"What do you think boys? Should we let our little pirate sail off into the sunset?"

Hook half turned from Pan and looked at the camp that rested behind him. In the clearing, the dozens of boys who circled the fire began a chorus of boos that rivaled anything he'd heard before. Hook let out a breath and lost any hope he'd had. Pan would never release him. He wouldn't get his revenge, but worse, he would be working under that beast for eternity. 

"You heard them. There's really nothing I can do." 

Hook nodded to the boy, Pan was a stickler for respect when it came to the pirate, and began towards the jungle. He knew, logically, that there was no way off of the island unless Pan allowed it, but maybe he could escape. He had a ship, all he needed was a portal. Or maybe Tink could get her hands on some magic. He was sure he could convince her to aid him. They'd been on friendlier terms lately. 

"Unless you want to make a deal." Killian froze. 

He'd seen people come and go over the years. Not many, but some. Pan offered his help, he struck deals, and they never, never ended well. But he needed to get off the bloody island. It was killing him. Pan, the lost boys, his resentful crew. It was all piling up and he couldn't stay and longer no matter the cost. 

"I'm listening." The grin pan gave him sent chills down his spine.

"Okay, here's the bargain. You can leave for a year, call it a paid vacation. But mark my words. If you don't return when the year is spent, I'll come for you. And I will bring you back where you belong. Deal?" 

Hook knew it would be the worst deal he'd ever heard. He would leave the island, maybe he would kill the crocodile, maybe he wouldn't. But he would become accustomed to that freedom once again, and he knew he would never be able to go back to Pan after that. He knew what Neverland held and it was a fate worse than being on the run for several lifetimes. 

"You have yourself a deal, mate." 

"I thought I might," Peter pan said with that sleazy grin. Hook ignored it and forced his own false grin, extending his hand. 

They shook on it then Hook turned away, diving into the jungle. He slashed at the shrubbery with his hook and sword, paving a way towards the ocean. He knew which way it was, always, and it called to him like a siren in the night. He tried to follow that urge and think of nothing else, just let his muscles lead him, but he couldn't shake the feeling. 

It weighed heavy on his shoulders, the bargain he'd made. But he told himself that was something to worry about in a years time. Instead he focused on the relief he felt in every step he took, carrying him farther from Pan. He knew there would be troubles ahead, maybe worse than the ones in his past, but Killian allowed himself a moment of happiness, and he smiled a real smile for the first time in years. 

\-----

Killian Jones boarded The Jolly Roger and sailed far from Neverland with the help of Pan. He pretended that he wasn't counting the months as he searched for the Dark One. And eventually found him in the Enchanted forest. When the year passed, he braced himself for his return. He of course did not return of his free will, but waited for Pan to drag him back. 

It never happened. 

One year passed. Then two. Peter pan and his lost boys never appeared. Eventually Killian forced himself to forget all about it. He threw all of his energy into killing the Dark One, who was under the protection of the king and queen of the land. But after several beatings and failed attempts, he heard a tale of interest in a tavern. A princess who shone brighter than the sun. 

And at his lowest point, Killian Jones thought, what the hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to andypandy.
> 
> Your comment made me want to add this in.


	27. Bad Intentions

It was the next morning when Killian recieved the note. He'd been with Emma before sneaking out at dawn once again and returning to his own bed chambers. He'd been thinking about how wonderful it had been to stay with her when they were at sea, lying in bed all day long, when he reached his door.

A young lad, looking shaggier than most in the palace, sat at his door dozing. In his hand was a folded piece of parchment. Killian didn't dare let himself hope what it was. It had only been two days. But still he nudged the boy's boot with unrestrained excitement. He jumped to his feet, bleary eyed, and began patting himself down and apparently taking stock.

"Killian Jones?"

"That's me." The instant relief on the boy's face was clear. Killian almost felt bad for having been gone. The boy had likely been there all night.

"I've got a message for you, sir."

"Give it then, and see yourself to the kitchen. They'll give you something for your trouble." Killian held out his hand expectantly, but he didn't have to wait long. The boy perked up immediately at the mention of a sweet bun, and turned over the note before hurrying down the hall.

Killian looked down at the folded pieced of parchment excitedly as he entered his chambers and closed the door behind him. He almost didn't want to open it. What if it wasn't what he was hoping for? It could be a simple request from anyone in the palace. It would be silly to think that Smee could respond so quickly. He broke out in a sweat as he unfolded it.

_The Jolly Roger will be docked when the_

_sun is at it's highest point._

_-S_

Killian let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding as the note slipped though his fingers. He couldn't believe it. Smee would be docked by midday. How had he managed? Had he been stationed near by, hoping Killian would give up on Emma and return to his one true love, the sea? He didn't know, he just wanted to race out to meet it. everything was happening just as he'd planned. Quicker, really. 

Killian tore off his clothing and searched his trunk for something slightly less conspicuous. He quickly realized he had nothing of the sort. He'd spent years being nothing but conspicuous. He would have to remedy that situation soon, but for the time being, he settled for his black leather ensemble. Killian did leave his leather jacket behind. It was overkill lately. 

Once he was dressed, Killian had to physically restrain himself from sprinting down the halls. People already had the tendency to look at him strangely, better to not give them more reason. But how could he restrain his excitement? Just thinking of what was to come made his heart race, palms sweat, and breathing turn shallow.

He was going to ask Emma to marry him. 

Just the thought sent a jolt through him. As he slipped past the castle guards, he wondered how early he would arrive at the docks. It was a while before midday, but it was a ways walk to town. Maybe if he was lucky, he would arrive as his ship was docking. Smee would think him insane, but Killian would breeze right past him and the crew to his quarters. 

He hadn't opened the drawer on the right in ages, not since Milah, but he knew that there was still a tiny box hidden there. The ring his mother had worn was nestled safely inside. He'd wanted to ask Milah, despite her husband, but time had not been on his side. And now he thought there would be no one better in the land to wear that ring than Emma.

There was that tiny niggling fear in the back of his mind that she might reject him, but he ignored that thought. Or at least he tried to. Emma had already chosen him twice, she'd fought for him and accepted every part of him. They loved each other. Then next step was naturally to spend the rest of their lives together. And Killian thought about it constantly. 

He thought about waking up next to her every morning, and Ariel's wedding, what Emma would look like as she walked down the aisle. How her father would entrust him with her. He thought about slipping that ring on her finger, and how Emma would look with a swollen belly. And when it was late at night, he wondered what their children would look like. If they would have his hair or her eyes. 

But what if she wasn't ready for it? Not all women aspired to marriage. And there was always a chance that a free spirit like Emma didn't want that for some time. They didn't often talk about their future, they'd just gotten back to enjoying the present. Maybe she wanted to travel more. Or perhaps she just wanted to enjoy the place they were at. 

Killian rubbed ran a hand through his hair as he walked. The doubts were beginning to take hold and he wasn't so sure about it anymore. She could easily turn him down and then where would that leave them? Would it create a new awkwardness? Would they be able to go back to the way they'd been if he took that leap and she wasn't ready?

But he could feel it in his gut that it was time. Killian had survival instincts that had never failed him. And his instincts were telling him that he should go for it. He'd always taken risks, fought for what he wanted. Why would it be any different with Emma? He was alive, in love, and happy. Taking risks had clearly worked so far. It would be stupid to stop. 

With new resolve, Killian forced away all of his thoughts and focused on the dusty road before him. It was well after midday when he reached the town. He probably should have grabbed one at the stables as he left the castle, but he'd been so excited. He would think better of it next time. When he reached the docks, he was sweaty and his boots dirty. 

He'd worried Smee would leave, or maybe that he'd meant the wrong day, but there was the Jolly Roger, bobbing softly with the waves were it was dock. Killian nearly ran to his ship. Seeing her there gave him a new burst of energy, despite having missed breakfast and lunch. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his old home. He didn't need the Jolly Roger in his life, but he really wanted her. Maybe he could renegotiate with Smee.

The moment his foot touched the deck, which he noticed was spotless, he felt an ease that he hadn't known he'd been missing. It was like slipping into a pair of pants that were so worn that they fit like nothing else. The level of comfort was obscene. Emma gave him a similar comfort. The way they fit together made it seem like they'd been made out of one piece. He could easily live the rest of his life in her arms. But she didn't share his past the way that the Jolly Roger did. 

Smee came above deck, presumably at the sound of Killian's steps, and removed his hat. "Captain! Welcome aboard. You were away far longer than we expected, but I knew you would return so I kept close." Killian almost felt bad for what he would have to do to poor Smee.

"I'm just popping in to get a few things, Smee." Killian clapped a surprised Smee on the shoulder as he walked past him and below deck.

He listened to Smee stutter nervously then fall into step behind him. Old habits died hard, he supposed. Smee lingered in the door way of his quarters as Killian went straight for his desk. The key that rested in the old, rusted chest on one of his many shelves, fit perfectly into the key hole in the third drawer down. Inside, a number of things.

There was a tiny portrait the size of his hand, sporting his mother and father. It was before he'd even been a thought in their minds. His mother was beautiful, long auburn hair and eyes as blue as his. She was smiling so warmly it made his heart ache with a want he'd never been able to name. He father stood at her side, arms around her and stern as Killian remembered. And yet, he looked happier there. Killian wondered if that was true, or if that artist had simply softened him for his own reasons. He just wished he could have gotten a taste of that happiness as they stood on the deck, breeze blowing. 

Killian shook the thoughts from his head, moving past the portrait, Milah's scarf, his first sextant, and his father's flask to the small black box buried beneath it all. He snatched it up, leaving the rest behind, and shutting the drawer with his shin. He would be back for the rest one day, but not that day. The box was what held him. 

Checking to make sure it was still inside, Killian was not disappointed. The ring was just as he remembered. It was a silver, thin ring. One it, rested a piece of sea glass that swirled green and blue. It almost looked like wire was wrapped over the stone, but he knew that was also silver in the intricate swirls. It was nothing out of the world, but it meant a lot to Killian. His father had made it for his mother the first day they'd met, and held onto it until the day he proposed. 

It just seemed so appropriate that he give it to Emma. He knew she would love it. And in the off chance she didn't, he would have no problem finding something that better suited her tastes. But he really hoped she loved it. With a shakey breath, Killian snapped the small box shut and slipped it into his breast pocket. It was a reassuring weight against his heart. 

"From the looks of it, you won't be returning again," Smee said, knowing very well what was in the box. Anxious as he was, there was a reason the man was Killian's first mate, and he would miss him. 

"Aye, it may be some time before I wish to return to the Jolly Roger. But I will return. She's my home and I wont be givin' her up so easy," Killian winked at Smee, brushing past the man. 

"I wouldn't expect anything less. You'll always be our captain." Killian was touched by the sentiment. But he knew it also had a lot to do with the fact that Smee just couldn't lead. He didn't have the bite that was necessary for a crew of drunken, rowdy men. 

"Where is the crew?" He asked as they climbed back on deck. It was oddly empty and from the letter, he'd expected a crowd. 

"The moment we docked they made for the taverns. I've had them at sea since you left and they were getting antsy." Killian nodded, leaning against the rail and looking out at the water. It was calling to him, but there was a stronger call in the other directions that he couldn't ignore if he tried. 

"Better that way, I suppose. This was to be a quick trip."

Smee joined him and they had a moment of companionable silence. He was good that way and Killian appreciated that. He would miss his friend when he returned to the palace. He was happy there with Emma, but he lacked friends, and he was sure there were few with much in common with him. There weren't many of commoners or pirates at the palace.

But that was beside the point. The only thing that mattered in that moment was returning to the palace and asking Emma to spend the rest of her life with him. The only question remaining was how he would ask her. Oh, and how her parents would react when he finally built up the courage to formally ask for their blessings. 

\-----

"What brings you here during our business hours, Killian?" Snow stepped down from her throne and greeted him with a warm hug. Killian liked to think that his mother would have hugged him something like that. James nodded but did not stand. He could have waited to speak to them later in the afternoon, but he honestly didn't have the patience, so he'd rushed straight to the throne room where they received complaints and comments from their people. 

"I wanted to bring a matter to light," Killian said, nervously rubbing behind his ear. Snow nodded and returned to her seat as he stepped forward. Dozens waited outside in a line, hoping to be heard, but in the throne room it was maddeningly silent. Emma's parents were staring at him expectantly. 

"Go on then," she encouraged, making Killian's mouth no less dry. They were the final hurdle. The last task to accomplish before he could call her his. And they were by far the most terrifying. With one word, his future could be decided for him.

"I would like your blessing to marry Emma." The silence that followed was deafening. Then the king leapt to his feet, turning to Snow. Killian most definitely did not start at the motion. 

"I knew it!" he shouted. "I knew you were bluffing." Snow fought a smile and stood as well, placing a hand on his arm. 

"Fine, you're right," she conceded. James had never looked so smug. But honestly Killian couldn't care less about whatever argument he'd won. He just wanted his answer. 

"Yes I am." James returned to his throne with a grin like a Cheshire cat. Clearly that didn't happen for him often. 

"Sweetheart, I think he wants his answer," Snow reminded him with a knowing smile. She turned it on Killian and nodded. "I give my blessing." But that still left her husband who looked like he'd momentarily forgotten Killian stood before them. That didn't help the tightness in his chest. 

"Yes, yes, but our answer isn't the one you should worry about. It's Emma's."

And the relief that he felt for that short moment instantly disappeared once again. Her parents had consented and that was incredible, but he still needed a yes from her. The woman who held his beating heart in her tiny hands. He'd already decided there was nothing to worry about, but the what if lingered.

"Thank you, this means the world," Killian responded, hoping he wasn't entirely transparent. It did mean the world to him, but his mind was already occupied with other Emma related things.

"Well I'm glad it's you. I've seen dozens of pompous nobles pass though these halls and not one has been half as endearing," Snow said, coming forward and wrapping him in another tight hug. Killian hugged her back, glad she was happy about the news. 

"Best of luck," James wished him. Killian nodded over Snow's shoulder. James' approval, while more of a shock, was just as fulfilling. 

"Oh he hardly needs luck." Snow said, pulling away. "Do you have a ring?" She clasped her hands together in such excitement that Killian was sure she wouldn't have let him leave without showing her. He pulled the box from his pocket and presented it. 

"It isn't much, but it was my mother's." Snow's eyes widened slightly as she peeked inside. 

"Its perfect. She'll love it." He thought so too. "But you'll have to wait a bit. She's out riding with Ruby. I'd take the opportunity to sit down and eat something. You look pale," Snow mothered as she handed back the box. He felt pale, if that was possible. 

"I'd be more worried if he didn't look pale," James interrupted, standing. "But we all know you'll worry either way, so why don't we have a break and take lunch in the garden. Killian can tell us how he plans to ask." At the suggestion, Snow's face lit up once more. 

"I knew there was a reason I married you," she teased, grabbing Killian's arm. 

"Off we go then."

\-----

"So how are you and Graham doing?" Emma asked as she dismounted Buttercup. Ruby did the same and they led their mares to the stream to drink. 

Ruby had popped into her room that morning suggesting going riding. That wasn't odd, though her good mood was. She'd been distraught the last time Emma had spoken to her, so clearly something had changed. But she wouldn't so much as mention the man's name until they were far from the castle. She deflected each inquiry. 

"We're great!" She finally admitted, as she led her own nervous mare to water. Horses were never at ease around her. Emma grinned at the news. 

"So you're engaged?" She asked excitedly. Ruby wasn't wearing a ring. Maybe Graham didn't have one yet. 

"No, we talked and Graham was so understanding. We're going to wait until I'm ready," Ruby said uncharacteristically nervous. She peeked up at Emma but her grin remained. Ruby knew what she wanted and she didn't bend. Emma admired that. 

"I'm glad. Really. I just want you to be happy." Emma squeezed her hand reassuringly. And just like that Ruby was back, confidence and all. 

"I am. And honestly, I think its made us stronger. We can talk about anything now." Emma nodded along, mind wandering. 

Would Killian ever propose to her? Surely eventually he would want to. But when would he do it? They were so new that it was sill to think about marriage, she knew, but she couldn't help fantasizing about it as they sat in the sun warmed grass. What the ring would look like, and how he would do it, and what she would be wearing. 

And would she say yes? He was her everything, but she was still young. There was a chance the feeling wouldn't last. And did she really want to turn their relationship so serious so soon? Once they were married, would he want to immediately have children like Red had thought, because Emma didn't think she was ready to be a mother. And yet, she felt she was leaning towards yes. 

She found herself thinking about the wedding. She'd always dreaded the thought of a royal wedding, but now she realized maybe she had a choice. She'd chosen Killian, so it was within reason that she could have a small wedding, unlike the royals in the past. It would be an intimate affair with just friends and family.

They would exchange rings, then the after party would last for hours. They would dance, and drink and invite everyone. Whether Killian could or couldn't dance, Emma knew they would still enjoy themselves. And when all of the festivities were over, they would slip away to their own suite for their wedding night. Emma and Killian had made love many times, but she knew then, it would be extra special.

And then she would spend the rest of her life waking up next to the man of her dreams.

"I can't wait to get married," Emma admitted, glancing over at Ruby, who was lying in the grass beside her. Their horses were a short distance away grazing. She couldn't bring herself to worry about that. They wouldn't stray far. 

"Me either. I'm going to be the most beautiful maid of honor ever." Ruby winked, meeting her gaze. "I had better be the maid of honor." There was no doubt about that.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Emma assured her. 

"Well I wouldn't worry about that just yet. Killian's the reckless sort, but would he really propose after only a few months?" Emma sat up, tugging on her braid and loosening it. She didn't think he would. 

"No, I don't think he would," she murmured.

But suddenly she realized that that wasn't entirely true. Killian was a risk taker, and an adventurer. He wasn't a noble or a prince, he had passion. He was exactly the type of man who would propose after only a few months. And he had been out all day without a word of his whereabouts. That was more suspicious than anything. She'd gotten used to knowing where he would beat any given time. 

The nervousness in her gut grew and suddenly all Emma wanted was to return home. She didn't think he would propose the moment her feet touched the stone, she just wanted to be near him.....in case she proposed. She was being silly. That wasn't going to happen and there was no reason to get her hopes up. And she definitely wasn't going to confide that particular thought in Ruby, so better to forget it. 

Except the thought had weaseled it's way into her brain and for the rest of the afternoon, all she could think of was her pirate down on one knee. 

\-----

Emma didn't know what she was expecting when she returned home, but as she walked into her bed chambers, she hadn't been expecting nothing. But that was what she got. Everything was as it had been and nothing was out of place. Aside from one of Killian's rings that still sat on her bedside table where he'd forgotten it that morning, there was no trace of him. 

With a sigh, she sat down at the end of her bed and began unlacing her riding boots. She really had gone and gotten her hopes up. There was no way Killian Jones was going to propose. She slipped them off, then her pants, then her blouse, strolling into her closet to find something decent. She had plans with her father to spar the following morning so she saved her last clean sparing outfit and slipped on a simple dark blue gown, forgoing a chemise and corset and leaving her hair down.

She fell back onto her bed, wondering where killian was. Regardless of her expectations, he had been gone all day, and that was odd. She didn't want to be completely dependent on the man, as he clearly wasn't on her, but she missed him. It was while she was wondering whether or not she should seek him out, that she heard the soft rap on her door. 

Emma popped up. was it wrong to hope it was him? She rushed to the door, pulling it wide open. There was no one there. Her hopes fell. Surely no one had knocked on her door as a prank. She glanced down the hallway in both directions. Nothing. But there was something on the floor, she noticed. A dark blue ribbon, almost the shade of her dress, lay at her door. 

She lifted the soft ribbon from the floor following it with her eyes. It lead down the hall. Brow furrowing, Emma began rolling the ribbon as she followed it down the corridor. Why in the world would someone leave something so lovely just lying around, she thought. As she turned the corner, she found that the ribbon continued then turned down another hallway. 

This was all very suspicious and Emma deduced rather quickly that it had something to do with Killian. Probably one of those romantic gestures he was so good at. And she suspected she knew exactly where the ribbon was leading. It was nearly impossible to imagine how anyone could have feared such a kind-hearted man

It was many more twists and turns, down corridors that were oddly empty, when she finally stopped before the massive door. In her hands was a large roll of ribbon she'd collected so far. The ribbon's end disappeared under it like she expected. Emma's suspicion of Killian was renewed. Was this just a romantic gesture or something more?

The door no longer creaked as she pulled it open. Torches were lit all along the walls, leading her down the shadowy staircase. She could barely see the ribbon as it lead her to the second door, but she hardly needed it. Her heart sped up, anticipating what would be on the other side. She was most definitely not expecting anything crazy. Holding her breath, Emma pushed it open.

The dungeon was the same as when she'd last seen it. Dank, dim, and holding a pirate in the cell, hunched over in his seat. Emma froze for a moment in shock. The image took her back to a few short months ago when he'd sat there in earnest. But the cell door was wide open. He was fine, just attempting a silly, romantic meeting. Killian's head snapped up at the realization that she'd arrived and he grinned widely.

"Killian, what are you doing in here?" Emma searched for a clue but there was none. He was just....relaxing in a prison cell. 

"Well I'd prepared this long, eloquent speech," Killian began, standing. "But I'm sure your mother and father will be bursting in any moment." 

Emma watched him approach, not allowing herself to think it. It wasn't possible he was going to do what she was imagining. Except Killian was kneeling before her on the stone floor, pulling a small box from his coat pocket. He revealed the most beautiful ring, silver based with a small blue and green stone in the center. It reminded her of his eyes and the ocean. 

Suddenly she couldn't breathe because what was he thinking? They couldn't get married. They were of age but they'd know each other for such little time. And her parents had only just warmed to him. And...And...well i just wasn't very practical. They loved each other, but how could he know he was ready to spend the rest of his life with her?

"You are my north star, leading me ever home. An enchantress, easing my troubles with just the sound of your voice. I can't imagine life without you, so I won't. Emma, will you marry me?" Killian asked, making her heart flutter exactly as it had in her daydreams. 

He gazed up at her and all of her fears seemed to melt away. This man was the only one for her. She would never meet another who could look at her that way and stir such a feeling of love within her breast. She very much wanted to become Emma Jones. "I could imagine a life without you," she said, watching his hopeful gaze falter. Perhaps not the best choice of words. "But it would not be half as wonderful as the one I can have with you. Of course I'll marry you."

Quickly, as if she might change her mind, he slipped the ring onto her finger. She heard the box hit the floor as he wrapped her up in his arms. "Gods, I love you," he whispered into her hair. Emma blinked away the tears that were pooling in her eyes. She'd never cried joyful tears before. 

"I love you more," she teased pulling away to kiss him. The way she would for the rest of her life, she thought with a giggle. It was actually happening. She was engaged. 

"I think you may be wrong, but we've got years to debate that." Killian stroked a stray tear from her cheek, grin as wide as her own. 

They embraced once more as the door flew open. Emma's parents rushed in, and Snow zeroed in on the ring immediately. "I knew she would say yes!" Her father rolled his eyes and shrugged. 

"Someone had to play devil's advocate." He walked over and patted Killian on the back. "Well, congratulations. Word of advice, remember that she's always right, or this will probably become your new bedroom," her father suggested. 

Snow crossed her arms petulantly. "That was one time, James. Honestly, he's never going to let it go." Emma bit back a laugh. She remembered that particular argument. But her  
mother didn't stay sour. She quickly turned back to Emma, grabbing her daughter's hands. "We can start planning immediately. A winter wedding may be too soon. Maybe spring?"

"Do I have any say?" Killian asked. 

"No," Snow replied cheerfully at the same time as a dejected sounding king. 

"Though she'll call for you when it comes time to send out invitations," James added with a shrug. 

"Then she'll be disappointed to find your calligraphy is horrendous," Emma joked. It was god awful, but she didn't mind so much. It was endearing. 

"That's fine, I'm sure I can find something for you to do," and the devious grin that followed was truly worrying. The happy almost family turned to leave, there were many people to tell about the news, but found the doorway out of the dungeon occupied.

"So sorry to break up this little soiree, but we've business to attend to dearies."


	28. Where The Lonely Ones Roam

"Crocodile," Killian growled. What in the hell was he doing there? He'd finally gotten his happy ending, and the last thing he needed was for Rumplestiltskin to ruin it. He stepped forward, hoping to get between the man and Emma, but the Dark One raised a hand. 

"Ah ah ah, not so fast. We do have business." Killian looked to Emma but she seemed just as confused. "Your majesty, the time has come for me to call on my favor." Snow started, but stepped forward. 

"Of course. I am a woman of my word. What do you request?" The most insidious grin stole across the man's, if he could even be called that anymore, face. James shuffled forward slowly, placing a hand on Snow's back. Killian wished he could do the same with Emma. Or spirit her away from that room. 

"Well it would seem," he began, folding his hands and leaning against the door, "that i am not eager to see a pirate rule. I want to choose the ruler to come." Snow let out a gasp. Killian's chest tightened painfully. He couldn't be serious. There was no way she would agree to that. 

"Absolutely not," James interrupted without hesitation. Snow grimaced, ignoring her husband. 

"As you surely remember, we agreed that I would give nothing that could endanger the kingdom." Rumplestiltskin only nodded along. 

"And the candidate would be a far safer choice then the pirate. Many more would speak well of his character, and he has better lineage. That vagabond is the only danger to the kingdom." Snow crossed her arms stiffly. 

"That's a matter of opinion." The smile vanished from the Dark One's face, and Killian fought his. He sincerely hoped his own mother was like Snow. The woman was not someone to be trifled with, and he was endlessly grateful to the universe that she was on his side. 

"Then let me make it abundantly simple. You can arrange a marriage to the lad I've chosen, who will in no way endanger this kingdom, or you will pay your debt in blood." But Rumplestiltksin was not threatening the queen. Though he stood before her, his gaze was locked on Killian. He felt the chill run down his spine but he ignored it. The man was bluffing. 

"You won't kill me. Belle stopped you half a dozen time before," Killian said, stepping forward. That crocodile would not take Emma from him. He wouldn't lose her again. Rumplestiltskin moved around Snow, straight to Killian. The grin was back. 

"Belle isn't here, she's gone to see her father. And when she returns in two weeks time, if my wife ever hears of if, I will deny it. She trusts me." 

"Then I'll marry whoever you've chosen," Emma said quickly. He could see panic in her eyes that he hadn't before. "Just promise that no harm will come to him."

"Emma no," Snow argued. "He cannot threaten his way onto the throne."

"He isn't going to kill me," Killian reassured her. "He's had a hundred chances, and he never took one. Belle has effectively neuter-" Killian gasped as the Dark One shot a hand into his chest. It gripped his heart tightly and yanked. Killian stumbled back, hitting the bars of the cell. He felt like he'd been hit in the chest by a cannon ball. 

"Killian?" Emma ushed to his side, pressing a hand to his chest but he didn't feel the affection like he usually did. It was dulled. Everything was dulled. His Love for her, his hate for the man before him, who was holding the mostly red heart in his hand. There was but a speck of black in it's center. Killian felt wrong.

"I'm fine," he lied, catching his breath. Emma didn't believe it for a moment. 

"You know what this is. dearie. I crush it, he dies. So what will it be?" The man fixed the each with a stare, but it was Emma who had to choose. Killian shook his head at her but she ignored him. How was he going to live knowing she was married to another. One she didn't even love. 

"Deal." She extended her hand and he shook it with a giggle. Killian felt a dull ache at the prospect of Emma marrying another, but not nearly what he knew he should have been feeling. He should have felt despair. Or at least pain. 

"Wonderful." Snow and James sighed in unison. At least the were upset. 

"Now give him back his heart," Emma demanded. Rumplestiltskin tilted his head in confusion. 

"I wont hurt him dear, I'm just going to hold onto this for a while." Rumple waved a hand and the heart vanished. 

"Rumplestiltskin, please reconsider. There must be something else you want," Snow pleaded one last time. Killian thought he appreciated the effort but it was too late. The man had his heart, and Emma had consented. The Dark One had won. 

"But there isn't." he said to the queen. Then he turned to Killian who was still less distraught than he ought to have been. Hadn't he always promised to fight for Emma? "You can come the hard way or the easy way, Jones. But you will come with me." Killian stepped towards him without even thinking about it. The Dark One had his heart, and he could make Killian hurt anyone in the dungeon with it. That was the last thing he wanted.

"Good man. Now I'll be on my way," he announced, lifting a hand. 

"Wait, who would you have her marry?" James asked angrily. Killian tried to channel up some degree of anger to match, but he came up empty. 

"Why, Baelfire of coarse." He snapped his fingers and a puff of purple smoke surrounded them.

The last thing Killian saw was Emma's face through the rapidly thickening smoke. She was crying once again, though he supposed for completely different reasons than before. But worst of all was how little he cared. It didn't break his heart to know he was hurting her, and he didn't have a clue what to do about it.


	29. Home Wrecker

The dining room was silent.

Emma dared not tear her eyes from her porridge sitting before her. She couldn't eat it. Her hands were folded demurely on extravagant purple skirts. She was having trouble coming to terms with it all. She didn't want to come to terms with it. It was taking all of her effort to keep still, keep it in. She couldn't cry, she wouldn't. That would mean that he was lost, and he wasn't. She told herself her corset was the reason for her shallow breaths.

The ring stayed on her finger, reminding her of what she needed to reclaim.

The king and queen sat across from her, mirroring her stillness. Emma could feel it in the air, the hesitance to break the calm they had created. Then they would have to speak of what had occurred the evening before and no one seemed to have the stomach for that. Everything had been so flawless for just an instant. How could they have lost it so quickly?

Baelfire sat at the end of the table. He fidgeted with the stiff collar of his dress shirt. He tapped his fingers. He cleared his throat. He avoided eye contact, though no one was very eager to engage in conversation with him by Emma's estimations. He was the reason they were in the mess they were in. A child had ruined everything because of a petty crush.

"So Emma, it's been some tim-" Baelfire began, but Emma wasn't listening to him. She was looking at her mother, who's chair was scraping against the cold, stone floor, drawing all of their attentions.

"I think I'll be taking a stroll through the gardens," Snow interrupted stiffly, taking her leave. Emma watched as her father hesitantly stood as well, then followed her mother out.

Emma wondered if she was entitled to do the same. Could she simply walk out? Would that cause Rumplestiltskin to retaliate in the form of hurting Killian? Was she really willing to risk that? Of course not. But she still imagined how gratifying it would feel to poor that bowl of hot oatmeal on Baelfire's head and stomp out. With a wistful sigh, she turned to the shocked boy. Had he thought that the queen and king would sit beneath his thumb?

"So...it's been some time since we've talked," Baelfire began again, unsure. He seemed almost uncomfortable enough to warrant the situation. Emma rolled her eyes and rested her chin on her hand. Her parents were no longer present to scold her for slouching or resting her elbow on the table. She wouldn't leave but she wouldn't feign interest.

"Mhmm," she murmured, staring straight ahead. Large windows that stretched nearly to the ceiling over looked the forest. The bright blue sky beckoned, but she could see storm clouds on the horizon.

"I've missed you," he said. She could feel his eyes on the side of her face, but she refused to meet his gaze. Her face remained stoic, eyes fixed on the horizon.

"Mhmm."

"Have you missed me?" He asked.

"Of course," she said noncommittally. The silence that followed was stiff. She made no effort to relieve the tension. Baelfire cleared his throat loudly.

"I know you always expressed disdain at the thought of an arranged marriage, but i'd thought you would be at least slightly pleased at the thought of us marrying..." Baelfire trailed off.

Emma's gazed snapped to him in shock. How could she ever be happy with him after what he'd done to her life? Did he think she would just forget Killian and accept this new life? He couldn't be so dense. Unless he knew nothing of Killian. And she could tell him nothing. If Rumple intended for Baelfire to know nothing, then telling him could cause the dark one to hurt Killian in retaliation. Was the rest of her life going to be this tip toeing nonsense?

"What exactly did your father tell you...?" Emma asked carefully, lowering her hands and giving the boy her full attention. Baelfire crinkled his eyebrows together in a way that she had one called endearing, reminding her of what a young boy he was. Now it only irritated her beyond belief. But she shoved that down with her hurt and despair, keeping her expression calm.

"Everything." Baelfire began sure. "That your lover," he said the last word with a good measure of distaste, "left you in the night. With your purity at question, who would have you? Now you know as well as I how I feel about father and what he does with his free time, but this time he just genuinely wanted to help. And I jumped at the chance to come to your aid. I'm aware it may take some time for you to get past any...feelings, you might have had for that man, but I had hoped that maybe one day you would come to feel for me as I feel about you," Baelfire explained.

Emma wanted to forgive him. Yes, he'd taken away her happy ending, but he was as much a pawn in it all as she and Killian and her parents were. And yet, that fire still burned deep in her chest. She wanted revenge. No, she wanted justice. She wanted to see Rumplestiltskin stand trial for his sins, and she wanted everything that had been ripped from her.

Suddenly, it was too much to just sit there and pretend that everything was fine. She nodded to the boy and stood, her chair scraping loudly on the dining room floor as she pushed it back. He was ignorant to it all and she would have to marry him, never breathe a word of the truth, fake a smile once more. But she couldn't go back to that. Not ever.

Emma fought tears as she rushed from the room. There had to be something she could do. She was a fighter, like Killian, and she wouldn't give up on him. He would never give up on her. Not when he'd thought himself lesser, not when her father threatened his death at every corner, and not when she had no memories of him, pushing him away at every instance.

But what was she to do? There was no way she could get a hold of Belle with out the Dark One finding out first. She could tell Baelfire, but that would without a doubt inspire retaliation on his part. She tugged at her braid anxiously. There had to be something else. Her mother had been telling her since childhood that true love always found a way.

So why didn't there seem to be a way this time?

Wiping away her tears, Emma stepped out into the garden and into the arms of her parents. Once a source of her frustration, they had now become her only lifeline. They held her tight and rubbed her back and patted her hair and told her everything would be alright. All three of them knew that was the farthest thing from the truth.

In one week's time, she would marry Baelfire.

\-----

"I don't want to kill you," he mused, sitting at the head of the table.

Killian looked around the room, not sparing a glance at the man he was standing slightly behind. The hall was as extravagant as it had been last time he'd paid a visit. But some things were different. There were flowers everywhere, on every available surface. There were at least three more bookshelves than he'd last seen, but instead of the dark tomes one would think to find in the Dark One's home, there were lighter tales. Fairy tales and learning books about everything under the sun. This had now become Belle's domain as well.

"So what can you do for me?" Killian was half sure it wasn't a rhetorical question. Should he answer, he wasn't sure if he cared enough.

He missed Emma, Snow, even Charming a bit, but it wasn't painful. It was just like missing them from behind a solid glass wall. He couldn't quite feel anything when he thought of them, he just knew that he would rather have been with them than standing on that plush carpet, staring at the back of a mad man's head, wishing he would just do something already.

"Oh I wonder," Killian said dully. "I'm sure there's no possibility you'll have me do your dirty work for you. Murder and such." Rumplestiltskin shrugged.

"No no, I can complete those tasks on my own."

And suddenly a thought occurred to Killian. A brilliant one. The Crocodile had threatened to kill him, a hundred times but he'd never done it. Even now, the man sat with Killian's heart safely locked away. And the thought that he wouldn't have Killian kill people, it was absurd. That was what the dark one did. Except that Killian suspected Rumplestiltskin was going soft.

"You wont do it will you? You wont kill me because you can't risk losing Belle. What if she doesn't believe you as wholly as you thought? You'll make your little threats but you'll never take the shot, will you ma-" Killian's throat closed up suddenly, and he fell to his hands and knees grasping his neck, gasping for air. Rumplestiltskin stood over him, whispering into his heart. The carpet was becoming blurry.

"Let me clear up the confusion, deary. I have no qualms with killing you. None. If I wake the morning after the royal wedding feeling particularly..." he searched for the word briefly then grinned and waved a hand, "murdery, then I'll crush your heart in an instant. Don't. test. me." He whispered once more into the heart and the breath returned to Killian's lungs. He coughed, holding his throat with mild relief. He would have to think of a new plan.

He looked up an instant before a leather shoe made contact with his face, then everything went black.

\-----

Regina received the note late into the night. She'd been staying in an abandoned cottage in the woods, far from the castle in case her name was mentioned. Rumplestiltskin wasn't exactly the most trustworthy partner, so she was on edge long after the sunk sank below the horizon and the moon made its entrance. There she sat, perfectly still on the dusty cot, staring out the tiny window.

It was because of this that she saw the bird, just seconds before he reached her. The moment the crow broke through the trees, she stood up in anticipation, urging it silently to fly faster. He perched on the sill and she removed the note as quickly as she could manage. The bird disappeared immediately but her attention was no longer on it.

She hurried to the far corner and lit the oil lamp. She had been saving her last bit of light for that very moment. As it lit up the room, she unrolled the tiny piece of parchment. In her haste she tore it, cursing softly, but that didn't slow her down. She held the two pieces together under the light and scoffed at the Dark One's humor, but couldn't fight her grin.

_It is done. Their marriage lies beside your mother._

\-----

Ruby retreated from the gardens. As much as she wished she could be a help to Emma, she knew now wasn't the time. Her friend needed her family after what had just unfolded in the dungeon. The entire castle was whispering, and though many had been wary of Killian, their hearts went out to the princess. She had lost her true love.

Ruby aimlessly strolled through the corridors, trying not to feel guilty. She wanted to be comforted by Graham, but he would only make her happy and she didn't feel like that was fair when Emma had just lost her own happiness. He was present and would never leave her. And they were far from under the spotlight of the kingdom. No one would go out of their way to see the lovers were torn apart. 

It just wasn't fair, so she avoided the man who had been pestering her all evening with concern, and searched for another route for occupying her mind.

The winner so far was anger. She was so angry. She had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. She was shaking from the urge she felt in her soul to shift. She wanted to tear out his throat. The Dark One's, Baelfire's, any one who ever tried to ruin Emma' life again. But she knew she couldn't do that. She wouldn't stand a chance and the risk of Killian getting hurt in the cross hairs was too great. Emma would never forgive her if her actions lead to his death. 

So with a sigh, she headed for her room. She would change and see if a run might help clear her mind.


	30. Just A Dream

Emma was nauseous.

Every time she thought about Baelfire, or Killian, or the wedding, or her future, she would rush to her chamber pot and cough up the little food she'd been able to hold down. She'd lost several pounds over the last six days and she was beginning to think there was something wrong with her. The cramps and dizziness were the last straw.

This all could have been symptoms of stress. Having to watch the endless preparations and imagining how differently she would feel if it was Killian who would be waiting for her at the end of the aisle. Have to fake a smile every time she saw her parents, she didn't want to cause them anymore pain, or Baelfire. Though she did want to cause him endless streams of pain. 

But what if it was something else. Something worse. What if she was sick, or dying of heartache? She just couldn't stop the worry. And even though she knew she would never be with Killian again, Emma wanted that chance. A little ray of hope. And she wouldn't have that if she died. 

So the night before the wedding, Emma stayed awake, far past midnight. When she was certain the castle was silent, she slipped from her cool sheets, and donned a dark hood over her night gown. She blended with the shadows as she tiptoed down staircase after staircase. It was a much more modest door than most others, but she looked at it with the most affection and respect as she knocked. 

Emma knew it was late into the night but the woman had ears like a hawk, a side affect of raising a child like Ruby. Sure enough, it was only a minute later when she heard the soft padding of feet, and the soft creak of the door opening. Granny wore a pale blue night cap and a matching night gown that rose up her neck and hid any shapes beneath it. The usually severe woman's face morphed from annoyance to worry as she took in Emma. The bags under her eyes were very noticeable she supposed. 

"Oh dear, come in quickly. What in the devil are you doing here at this hour?" She scolded, pulling the girl into her small room. Emma hesitated which only brought a glare from Granny. "Out with it!" 

"I'm sick, and I'm worried. Can you check me out please, Gran." Emma pleaded with her eyes, and the old woman's face softened. She guided the princess onto the bed with her and rubbed her back gently. 

"I'm sure you're sick. With worry, dear. I know that a horrid thing is happening to you, but you'll survive. Your family is one of survivors," she said reassuringly. But Emma wasn't feeling better. Just angrier. 

"That isn't it, Gran! Somethings wrong and I know it. You're the only one I can trust who can do this so please help me." Emma fought the tears pushing forward. She wouldn't die, not tonight. After a solemn moment, Granny sighed and stood. 

"Come with me then." 

The old woman grabbed the lantern that sat on her bedside table and lead Emma from her quarters and into the kitchen. Emma took a seat on a stool beside the pantries and watched granny place the lantern on the counter, creating a dim glow, and root around. She pulled out several bottles of things, liquid, powder, and disgusting to imagine consuming. But Emma stayed silent, the woman was helping her. 

"I'm going to make you a few things. You're going to drink everything I put in front of you, and when this is over you're going to tell me I was right and go get some shut eye. Understood?" Granny stood with her hands on her hips and a steely look. Emma only nodded. The old woman did the same and got to work. She mixed a dozen concoctions that turned to colors which didn't look safe to drink. 

After every glass Emma forced down, Granny would stare her down than shake her head softly going on to the next one. It was several vials later before Granny put a clear one before her. She looked especially anxious so Emma drank it fast, twisting her mouth in disgust at the sour taste. Only a moment later, she was on her feet, hunching over a bucket in the corner and throwing up the contents of her stomach. 

Granny was at her side, rubbing her back gently, muttering something under her breath. 

"What?" Emma croaked, wiping her mouth. 

"Emma, you need to go back to your room. Eat as much as you can or you'll get sicker, I think. I need to speak to someone before I can be sure." 

Emma watched shock as granny disappeared, taking the lantern with her. Emma was left alone in the dark, sitting on the floor and wondering what the hell had just happened. Slowly, she stood, and made the trek back to her bedroom. Despite still feeling ill, she forced down the roast and steamed vegetables that now sat ice cold beside her bed. 

She slept horribly. 

\-----

The next morning was a bustle of activity. Emma did feel slightly better, so she forced herself to eat some of her porridge before her maids came in and got to work on her. Their excitement was as false as hers, but she appreciated that they were trying to lighten the mood. It was a hopeless endeavor though. Nothing could stop the tears that ran down her cheeks as they curled her hair and placed it artfully a top her head. Or as the slipped the small tiara into place. 

She couldn't stop her legs from shaking as she stepped into the dress. It was a beautiful thing, a master piece. All beading and silk and lace sleeves that dipped to her middle finger. The gown ballooned out like the most fabulous ball gown, but despite it's size, it was light as feathers and felt lovely against her skin. The veil they placed with it was as magnificent as the gown. It was lace flowers, no two alike, making up an endless garden of variety and beauty. All of it only made her want to cry more.

The dress, the hair, the veil, they were all absolutely perfect and she couldn't bear the thought of marrying anyone but Killian. Her maids politely ignored her tears as they tied her up. The moment they left her, she stumbled back and sat on her bed, gasping for breath. She couldn't breathe as the tears fell faster and the sobs broke free from her lips. 

It was the first day she hadn't worn Killian's ring.

She couldn't do it. It just wasn't possible. Everything was wrong and there was no way Emma could walk down the aisle knowing that the love of her life wasn't waiting for her. That he was being tortured because of her. She just couldn't do it. Emma couldn't breath. Everything was closing in on her, the walls shrinking. She needed to get out, to breathe free air. Her gaze shot to her balcony.

The gown was voluminous but she honestly believed there was a chance she could still scale her trellis. Emma wiped away her tears hurriedly and sniffled loudly. She couldn't leave forever, just for a minute, she told herself. Just to get some fresh air. Maybe with some room to breathe she could think of a way to get to Killian. All she wanted was to see him and she knew the painful tightness in her chest would dissipate. 

As Emma took a hesitant, hopeful step toward her balcony, her bedroom door swung open. She spun around guiltily as Granny hurried through the door, worry clear on her face. Emma immediately stiffened. She'd forgotten all about last night as her wedding grew nearer. But suddenly her fear of what Granny had to say was back. 

"Emma, sit down," She ordered. Emma didn't move as the old woman closed the door behind her. She suspiciously checked Emma's closet then glanced out the balcony, closing the glass doors tightly. 

"What is it?"

"I need you to stay calm when I tell you this," Granny began, approaching Emma and placing two hands on her arms.

\-----

A sort of calm settled over Emma as she stared at the enormous double doors opening before her. Music swelled as hundreds of guests stood from their seats and Emma stepped into the transformed ballroom. A strip of white silk carpet led her up the aisle. Her dainty heels crushed the rose petals that had been scattered over it. She met no one's gaze, staring only at the small bouquet of roses in her hand. 

When she reached the center of the ballroom, there stood an arch of white roses. Beneath it, waited the officiant and her husband to be. As Emma walked toward him, she hoped silently that the doors might slam open once more. That Killian would be standing there ready to save her. But that wouldn't happen. And she would save them herself. 

She stepped up on the raised floor beside Baelfire and faced him. He looked excited. And handsome in his coat and tie. Killian would have looked much more dapper. All of the guests sat in a loud shuffling. The elderly man in robes who stood between them began droning on about the commitment they would enter into. How it was a sacred bond and such. Emma forced her eyes not to roll, or stray to the doors.

The old man droned on and Baelfire slipped his hand into Emma's. She didn't pull away. Why bother? She didn't have the anger in her anymore. Just the resolve to make a change, and soon. The hall grew silent and before Emma knew it, Baelfire was lifting her veil. He eyes were shining like this was all he'd ever wanted in life. Emma was just wishing they were blue instead of brown. 

It came time for the to say the I do's. Baelfire said his without hesitation. Emma hesitated. She looked out at the crowd of guests who she was sure were anxious as her to get out. Although their only problem was huger. Baelfire's father sat in the front row, smiling up at the seemingly happy couple. No sign of her pirate. One last glance at those giant heavy doors and she knew what she would have to do. 

"I do." Emma said, turning to Baelfire. Emma watched as he placed a ring on her finger, thinking of her own which lay on a chain, hanging safely between her breasts. 

The man's grin was radiant as he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Emma's lips. She forced a smile and allowed him to turn her towards their guests who were now standing and clapping. They made their way back down the aisle through cheers and showers of flower petals and rice. Emma's gaze was fixed on Baelfire's back as they made their escape into the hall. 

The door shut behind them and Emma and Baelfire had a moment of silence together. Baelfire was so happy it was leaking out through his pores. But she could see he was holding back for her and she appreciated it. More so knowing she would be spending every moment of the rest of her life trying to take it away.

"Ready for the reception, husband?" Emma asked as a sort of offering. Baelfire nodded, offering her his arm. 

"Right this way, wife." Emma tried not to cringe at that title. 

He took her arm and lead her down the corridor to the party that awaited them. To his credit, Baelfire didn't skip or break out in song, but he did smile so wide Emma worried it would stick that way. Halfway there, she groaned. Placing a hand on her stomach, she realized to her horror that she could not even get drunk. It wouldn't be good for the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me for this whole story, I appreciate every comment, Kudos, and read. While this is the end of this story, there will be a sequel, and I hope you will all stick around for that too. Thank you again!
> 
> (Yes Emma is pregnant)


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